When the wife discovers Fight Club

[deleted] · 2017-06-22T19:49:35+00:00

Put your husband on the line please.

Everytime the wife comes in here, it ends badly.

Every damned time.

UEMcGill · 2017-06-22T12:48:08+00:00

The fear that keeps gnawing at me is that this may feel good to me, but that I am keeping him down by trying to make it an us-thing instead of a him-thing.

Whether you were a man or a woman my advise would be the same. You have a need, he can fulfill it or not. Put your need to him out there, in a clear and consistent message.

Sometimes men need 2x4 love, and you need to smack them with it to get their attention. Years of preconditioning maybe holding him back from stepping forward in being a leader because he wants to be "fair and equal". You communicate primarily with emotion, he with content. Sometimes you need to move the dial and step into his style and say directly what you want.

Ask for your need to be met. Let him meet it. Communicate if it's not being met.

[deleted] · 2017-06-22T17:22:49+00:00

I guess my question is: is this something we can do together? I personally feel just as responsible for our relationship as he is, especially now that I have found this. It feels wrong to be like "I found all this wisdom about how men and women work, so now you have to internalize it all and make sure our marriage works while I behave like the bitch society expects me to be".

Here's the problem, and u/[deleted] alluded to this.

The problem is that you are going to be leading your husband on this. You can't gin up attraction and dominance by saying "husband, I need you to be more attractive and do it like this and do these things on this list. I need you to be more dominant and you can be if you'll just do these things."

A woman is never attracted to a man she had to tell to be attractive and how to do it. She won't submit to a man she had to instruct on how to be dominant.

ex_addict_bro · 2017-06-22T23:50:08+00:00

I was thinking and this is yet another one of my pet theories, it is about marriages of addicts in a situation when one tries to get sober.

If they have anything else in the relationship except the substance abuse, maybe, just maybe it is worth fighting for. But - a guy gives up booze and the girl suddenly starts seeing him as unattractive - IF that girl has anything in her head, she should understand where this is coming from, read some books and get help for herself. This is where the "fighting" part arises from - people start to understand their own mechanisms caused by the substance abuse and codependency, they logically understand why the attraction suddenly fallen and they decide TO WAIT WHILE FIXING THEMSELVES, but not together, not as a couple, but each one for their own.

Of course this assumes good will from both parties. I'm not sure if this sounds sci-fi or is possible, what do you think u/alphabeta49 ?

Once the guy AND the girl are somehow fixed, they can clearly decide if they want to have anything in common in the future or just part their ways.

I'm not sure if this scenario is realistic enough to happen.

What does it have to do with your situation? THE HELL SHOULD I KNOW. You have a vayjay and you expect me to give you sexual advice?

Or, maybe you should understand from my letter somewhere in-between the lines, that a good idea is to shut the fuck up about improvement because THIS DOES NOT BUILD ATTRACTION. I believe you should rather focus on the end-effect which is spending quality time together BECAUSE you did some reading at TRP/MRP/RPW and you didn't forget to lift.

As for that poor schmuck you're trying to divorce-rape, my advice for him is to never marry, as his soon to be ex-wife already lurks on some internet forums how NOT to suck his dick and what she should do instead, like - talking about self-improvement or something.

Get that schlong in your mouth baby. Show him that you love him.

Hillary_For_Prison · 2017-06-22T11:38:08+00:00

Keep doing what you're doing. You are on the right track.

gixxerthouguy · 2017-06-22T11:39:33+00:00

If this is a legit post, maybe you should head over to the Red Pill Women sub.

https://www.reddit.com/r/RedPillWomen/

DoctorNini · 2017-06-22T14:36:46+00:00

FWIW my wife and I have a "separate people working on a mutual project" thing for about a year based on Schnarch's Intimacy&Desire book. That particular book may be too focused on solving dysfunctions, though. He has another book Passionate Marriage--which I have not read, but that people have said they read early in their marriages that seems to describe the same structure. I like how his relationship model is able to holistically integrate the conflicting needs for individuality and intimacy within a framework of mutual growth.

while I behave like the bitch society expects me to be

I really want to tell you to fuck off, but my wife and I enjoy ironically playing these roles so much now that I'd be a hypocrite. The keyword being ironic. If you think it's an excuse to be a genuinely shitty person, get fucked.

screechhater · 2017-06-23T04:48:24+00:00

RP wives is for you. MRP for him.

He is going to want to do this. Good luck

There are something's you should not read and leave well enough alone. As a man leading the home, there are just some things not up for discussion.

Westernhagen · 2017-06-22T14:36:25+00:00

when we started the obligatory marriage course from my Catholic church

When I took that, it was not TRP at all. It was pure beta/cuck/feminine imperative propaganda. They totally downplayed the Ephesians 5:22 "wives obey your husbands" stuff and explained that it really meant "mutual submission" in which the husband and wife submit to each other (which is, of course, not what the Bible verse says, completely unworkable in practice, and a logical contradiction in terms). There was also a heavy-handed emphasis on how you have to forgive your spouse anything they do (including especially infidelity) because marriage is forever. Catholic Church is all but completely BluePilled IMO.

If you got interested in TRP via Catholicism, that's a plus, I guess. I'd definitely have your husband approach it from reading the other sidebar readings, not from a "Catholic" perspective, though.

BobbyPeru · 2017-06-22T15:26:28+00:00

Great that you found it and endorse TRP, but now it's his work to do. I'd advise backing off. Either he puts in the work or not.

discobolus_ · 2017-06-22T19:14:54+00:00

How satisfying could this be for you if you're aware that it's going to be him "acting" a certain way because that's what you want?

FailingBillionaire · 2017-06-22T07:25:05+00:00

To clarify: I am the wife

tits or gtfo

edit: Cunts got me