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Wife ghosted me on business trip (self.askMRP)

submitted by Matrix_observer

Almost a year since swallowed. Did all readings. I lift.

Going to make it quick (on cell phone). Last night, wife gets back from dinner on her business trip. Saw potential red flags, but maybe I'm being paranoid.

1 red flag; she called instead of FaceTime- she always FaceTimes when back to hotel

2 red flag: it's 10:30 pm, and she's drinking Diet Coke. I ask her if it's to offset alcohol, and she implies she didn't drink, but looked buzzed. The caffeine intake is noted since she has to get up early the next day.

3 red flag: she waited 15 minutes past the time I told her I'd be available to call. Was meeting with a friend. Probably figured she'd get VM like I normally would when busy.

4 red flag: she doesn't text me goodnight or anything even though I told her I wanted to talk about a couple business issues. She has always at least have a courtesy "I can't stay up anymore, goodnight."

She texted me this morning saying she's sorry she was out when I texted her and she wuvvves me.

Am I just reading into this too much? Seems like a lot of changes in precedent previously set on trips.

Should I just not say anything (STFU) ?

EDIT

She just called and I brought up how she could have been more courteous. I probably said too much. Oh well, I'm going to just drop it (STFU) for now.


[–]creating_my_life18 points19 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

don't mate guard.

trust, but verify.

if she was ACTUALLY cheating, she would have covered her tracks WAY better and you would never have known.

be the quality of man she won't cheat on.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

That's what I needed to hear. My emotions are out of whack, on about 4 hrs sleep

[–]creating_my_life6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I've had inklings of stuff like that before. VERIFIED the crap out of things. Absolutely no issue. red pill makes us paranoid. It's good to be aware, but not paranoid.

[–]redditJ51 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Do not do not do not do not make any judgements on that much lack of sleep.

You will be wrong. You will make mistakes. The hampster is in control not you.

I'm still learning the hard way my self.

[–]dontbedenied2 points3 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

be the quality of man she won't cheat on.

Great quote...I'm going to remember this.

[–]myrpjourney10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

1 you pointed out she called instead of FaceTime

2 you stated she "looked" buzzed....

How did she look buzzed if she called you?!?

[–]rp_findingmyway7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Never been on a business trip that didn't have a full-on bender almost every night. But I never fucked around either. I'm sure your wife is out having some drinks with friends and colleagues. Yes, men too. Not a big deal in the vast majority of cases. Be the kind of guy she confides in and doesn't want to lose since you're RP as fuck, and don't be the guy she's got to hide the truth from about what really goes on out there because her man gets all jealous.

[–]AustralianArm2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This right here is the truth.

Don't give her any reason to go Chad-hunting by being the only guy she wants. And he's at home.

OP has some serious issues with his own frame and needs to work way harder.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Wow. Thanks for that insight

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Trust but verify.

Seems a little sketchy, but only you know what's normal and what's not for this situation.

I would definitely NOT ask further because you don't stand to gain anything...if she fucked Chad she'll lie anyway and if she didn't do anything wrong, you look like a jealous, worried little bitch.

At most I would ask (in person once she's back): "How was your trip? Do anything new or exciting?" and see if it comes up organically.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

you're still worried about this after 9 months.

be a man she PROBABLY won't cheat on, and

FOR SURE, you won't care if she does

SHE is replaceable, you are not. value yourself more

[–]gettingmymojobackRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is the best advice. Good to be reminded of it.

[–]nastynickdrRed Beret4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Shes making your hamster spin. Seems like you are in her frame. SHE should be the one wondering "what is my hot stud husband doing now, is he chatting up some hoe at a bar??? Why isnt he returning my calls??"

If you are really suspicious, keylog her phone or something and collect evidences. Asking her about it wont do any good, if she fucked/is fucking Chad she will lie about it anyway. And you should be asking yourself, how long it would take for you to replace your wife with hotter/younger plates if things go to shit?

[–]atlhartRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You care way too much. Why do you have so little to do that you can put this much thought and effort into this? Your life should be so full that you don't even notice if she calls late,

If you're wife is gonna suck chads dick, there's jack all you can do about it except be the best man you can be.

Stop spending time on worrying on who's bratwurst your wife is licking mustard off of, and spend more time lifting, working on projects, and owning your own shit.

Only thing you can do is own your shit, you can't own hers. Owning your shit is how you make your wife want to fuck you instead of others.

Being this whiny and butt hurt? That's what sends her to beg Chad for some anal-no-lube-no-problem action.

[–]thewholefnshow5471 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don't really see any cause for major concern here, but I do think she is testing the boundary and trying to get under your skin. I can see how this is irksome. Don't get mad bra, get even.

You got a single or recently divorced guy friend? How's about you go out on the town, cruisin' for chicks with that guy and ghost the shit outta her. Like leave you phone at home. Come back home way late and parrot the exact same excuses she gave you.

She thinks she can behave like this because you have no firepower. Show her you got a bazooka in your back pocket.

[–]BigB19010 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

Is this the first time, or is there some history?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

She travels often. I've had some suspicions with some time frames, but usually she can explain them with things like unpacking, took a bath etc.

[–]creating_my_life2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

The more you ask, the weaker you look.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah I started to, and I stopped myself, said lets just drop it. Then, we moved forward

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

These are not red flags.

Outside the norm of established behavior? Probably if you say so.

And you may want to relook how long ago you swallowed that pill, because you seem to be afraid of the boogie man.

[–]donedreadpirateRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don't get this timeline. She called you 15 minutes late, drinking a diet Coke, and she looked buzzed? And it was 10:30pm? And what, she didn't tell you she was out? And then didn't text you until the next morning? How much later were you going to stay up waiting to talk business with her? This shit is confusing which leads me to believe you have turned minutia into a full on scandal.

[–]ex_addict_broRed Beret0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Hi there mate. We all get there. u/creating_my_life gave a good advice, except that "she won't cheat on" because if she wants, she will.

But this is not about her cheating.

I get this feeling you just described from time to time. Girlfriend does not respond to my text in a given frame of time. Sometimes I just get suspicious.

Does this mean I can DO SOMETHING so she won't cheat? No. If she wants, she will find the way. I don't control her.

So what do I do in such situations?

I do a thing to help me succeed in my life, in my sexual strategy.

Because if she's getting some strange dick, what's the point of calling her, harassing her, talking to her, acting insecure?

BUT if she's probably getting some strange dick and I'm like "fuck that I'm going to the gym/to do some extra work on my side business/to read a book/to approach some girls" - this whole negative frame goes away.

Because, if you suppose she does something successful about her sexual strategy -- maybe it is time for you to do something for your own sexual strategy.

Trying to control her, mate guarding her -- this won't give you pussy, neither hers nor anyone else's.

But doing a single thing for yourself, doing an ACT for your own good and for your own sexual strategy -- yes, it brings you closer to the pussy, no matter hers or anyone else's. And it makes this whole feeling you feel go away.

[–]creating_my_life0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

okay, okay, "be the man she's LESS likely to cheat on!"

:)

[–]PersaeusRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

But doing a single thing for yourself, doing an ACT for your own good and for your own sexual strategy -- yes, it brings you closer to the pussy, no matter hers or anyone else's. And it makes this whole feeling you feel go away.

nicely said. we missed you bro. how has it been hanging?

don't know why; but a quote I falsely (just figured this out) ascribed to you hangs in my head like a becon

you're weak as fuck and if this was 1000 years ago you would be dead with your head on a spike and your woman would be getting fucked by the warlord that killed you. And she would like it and probably ask him to fuck her again.

turns out it is from https://www.reddit.com/user/cholomite . love those words.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Am I just reading into this too much?

Yes.

You have nothing but paranoia and there is no way for you to even investigate the situation.

You can let it eat at you...or you can remain alert for further evidence but otherwise get over it. Unfortunately those are your only choices.

Your likely answer

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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