Could use some criticism to turn this shit around

BrazilRedPill · 2017-04-05T02:34:15+00:00

I don't think this is salvable. You can only save yourself.

People are what they are and it's very unlikely that anyone will deeply change their nature.

Look, she slept with other dudes while giving you a dead bedroom. Next her, your marriage is pretty much over.

Since day 1 you attempted to save her from herself. You never achieved it. You did your beta bux stuff and it didn't work. There are things that could be fixed by being more alpha, but she seems to be beyond salvation.

You've married a gigantic bitch and now you will have to deal with this shit.

It's time to act manly, own what you did and face things the right way.

Your kid should be your priority. Joint custody is the minimum. If she has any history of bad behavior, you should try full custody. Fuck money. You will have to pay something, there's no way out of that.

Now, I don't think your kid would like you to keep this shit marriage. It's better to see your kid happy with you alone and with her alone than you three together and he seeing fights between you and her all the time.

You must act in order to get the best you can in the interest of your kid. Talk to a good lawyer. Good luck.

RBuddDwyer · 2017-04-05T11:47:48+00:00

Congratulations! You have yourself a wife with full blown Borderline Personality Disorder. Ditch her immediately. Get out as clean as you can and never look back. There is no way you can Red Pill crazy like that.

nastynickdr · 2017-04-05T02:25:07+00:00

You are salvable, if you are willing to put in the work. Your marriage is not. Fix yourself, get your shit together, be the best father you can be for your kid. You married a broken whore and no, you cant fix her or change her.

You want to help her? Cut the couple therapy shit and pay her a good therapist and maybe she will fix herself if she is willing to. And you dont have to stay married to her for that.

drty_pr · 2017-04-05T04:29:43+00:00

You do realize that this only gets worse man. Here is how this goes in say 10 years from now:

You have put forth 10 more years on your mortgage (which she will get half of)
Fully paid her debts off (which is actually your debt now thanks to consolidation)
There is no trust because how could there ever be
Your son is now 12 and grew up in a house where both parents hate eachother. Your desire to shelter him from a possible shitty step parent has now caused him to live in a shitty house 24/7 instead of only half the time (this is also a terrible BP mentality)
You have herpes because she is still sucking FB strangers dicks.
You can't get ahead because you're dragging this dead weight along with you.
She has ruined all the positive relationships you used to have with people, because that's what shitty people do
You have 2 more kids. So that's a possibility of 3 kids that have been fathered by FB strangers. I mean she did raw dog you on date #2

I could go on, but you get the point. Don't stay with this woman because society says you should. You can use the excuse of staying together for your child and lie to yourself all you want. I see right through this to the fear the unknown that may accompany it.

Seems like a no brainer to me man. You're young. Don't waste anymore of the precious little time you have in life on a train wreck of a woman like this. But you'll do whatever you want.

SteelToeShitKicker · 2017-04-05T02:07:39+00:00

I have forgiven my wife in that I'm not throwing it in her face. But I don't trust her as far as I can throw her. After writing this the answer is pretty obvious now but I will ask anyway

screechhater · 2017-04-05T05:08:12+00:00

From all that you are saying,

next

You are living in hell. She is low value. You can only go up.

But that is only from what you are telling us, but then again, your letting yourself go, drinking and deporession would really scare the Fuck out of her. Remember that. You part of the equation was to remain stronger than Fuck and not get down, no matter what (Good that you admit it)

Unfortunately, you are tied to her forever with the boy. However, she is fucked up. Clean your act up for you, but realize she is going to give you the worst day of your life, again, again and again

Edit. Add.

OP. You truly need to decide on what you want and go get it. I would like to advise you to work on you. A lot of other posters are advising the same thing.

First and foremost is your mental health, followed up shortly by physical. Once you get the "oxygen mask on" you need to truly decide where she is coming from and look after your child with stability and consistent behavior by you since you can control you

The comment above, of being tied to her, is the truth, through the child you have together. Whatever you do, take into account the well being of the child and do not destroy her/his vision of "mom" with your words. The child is innocent. Please remember you will have to rise above.

We can all scream next and all that, but ultimately this is completely up to you. So before you go making rash decisions, read the side bar and maybe even seek some counseling.

Good luck

I hope you read every comment. There is so much great advice. Above all else, yes, own Your Shit and your actions

Westernhagen · 2017-04-05T12:57:13+00:00

As others have said, this marriage cannot be saved, you need to get out.

Consider this. She had two affairs that you know about. What do you want to bet there were some affairs with single guys who didn't have wives to rat them out? Of course, this hardly matters because even one affair is unacceptable and requires divorce.

[deleted] · 2017-04-05T14:33:51+00:00

dude. being married and taking care of your kids are not inter related.

Dump the whore you married. Build yourself up as a man. Take care of the kid.

mrpthrowa · 2017-04-05T15:52:41+00:00

Get a DNA test for the kid too.

Serious.

creating_my_life · 2017-04-05T02:44:07+00:00

I want to salvage this marriage because the thought of not seeing my son everyday fucking kills me.

The best thing you can do for your kid is live a honest life yourself, and be true to yourself.

Heck, consult a lawyer and fight for primary custody.

But holy crap dude, you gotta get away from this woman. And you gotta "own your shit".

BobbyPeru · 2017-04-05T03:38:05+00:00

She had been sex messaging this guy for 4 months. Like hundreds of pictures.

I want to salvage this marriage because the thought of not seeing my son everyday fucking kills me

This is a BS excuse. There is this new thing called joint custody these days.

We can't make the decision for you. You have to decide whether he will ever be able to forgive her, and it sounds like you will never be able to trust her. Seems like a no-brainer, but it's your call

man_in_the_world · 2017-04-05T05:00:32+00:00

Your life, your wife, your choice. But whatever choice you make, own it.

Sidebar. Do the work. Reevaluate periodically, and be ready to make different choices depending on how things go, but give 100% every day toward your current chosen path, even if you're not 100% sure it will end up being the right one.

[deleted] · 2017-04-05T13:15:06+00:00

i dont think dread will work with someone who has a mental illness

bogeyd6 · 2017-04-05T13:26:04+00:00

It's official gentlemen. I have now seen it all.

Terribledragon4Hire · 2017-04-05T14:00:41+00:00

Dude, wtf, get out now.

milkywayer · 2017-04-05T14:01:34+00:00

deleted ^{^{^What}} ^{^{^is}} ^{^{^this?}}

[deleted] · 2017-04-05T14:23:12+00:00

I have forgiven my wife in that I'm not throwing it in her face.

Only mistake you had, luckily, you can turn this around.

mrpthrowa · 2017-04-05T07:43:15+00:00

NEXT

I fucked up by agreeing to have a kid with her. I doubted she could handle the extra responsibility but I wanted too make her happy. She swore up and down that she wouldnt get fat and would make our sex life a priority. After the kid was born things instantly changed. Shocker.

BRIFFAULT’S LAW:

https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/1anu3q/briffaults_law/

I confronted the wife, screamed at her. And we started therapy.

Shit.

I want to salvage this marriage

No abundance mentality.

because the thought of not seeing my son everyday fucking kills me.

He'll be fine. Make sure you see him every week or so. Your influence over him will be great.

Your kid will either learn how to be yet another blue pill henpecked man, or will learn how to keep boundaries and be a true man. Your choice.

Also, my wife was diagnosed with BPD and if we split I don't trust her to not end up with some Nuttball psycho and have him be around my son.

You can't trust her NOW not to do this. You have no power over her.

Not to mention divorce rape.

Better than ball rape - aka your balls squashed every day.

I don't think this is salvable.

Fundamentally, it won't matter what she says and you say.

Deep down she will never respect you. She will resent you for not leaving after cheating.

Not matter what she says, she will snap at you, she will disrespect you, she will nag you, and she will be a general bitch because there are no consequences. She tested this by wrapping her lips aorund a stranger's cock and you stayed.

Worse yet, she has discovered that wrapping her lips around another cock gets her a beta provider who cares, lifts, and tries to stay with her. She knows how to dread you into doing what she wants.

Free yourself.

ramjethero · 2017-04-05T13:58:39+00:00

It will be a hard choice to leave your child. The child will always be yours and as long as you try to be the best father you can be. The option of staying will result in pain and insecurity about what's she's done or could be doing. You can't control anyone else only yourself. Do what's best for you and your goals. But without trust this relationship is not going to be a good one

[deleted] · 2017-04-05T14:25:12+00:00

Watching a man pick up BPD from being so far in wifes frame, also funny

ReddJive · 2017-04-05T15:30:46+00:00

Salvageable? if you were stronger or quickly change your mindset to a hardcore DGAF alpha. You'd literally have to have the position of frame that can tell her to pack up now and leave.

But you are a serious white knight. You shouldn't even try this.

You need to get to work and stop. Start recording everything about your kid. What you do what she does to take care of him. YOu have work ahead of you.

Griever114 · 2017-04-05T18:28:59+00:00

Next her. She isnt worth it.

You better search the forum here for lawyer advice because you have an uphill battle with courts.

RBuddDwyer · 2017-04-05T19:13:32+00:00

Pretty much everyone here is saying to Ditch the Bitch (tm). I know that is a tall order for you, especially since you have a kid involved and are concerned for the kid's safety. But one big thing to keep in mind is that if you do a clean split from her, meaning strict no contact beyond simple logistics (and all in writing via email or text message), then you will be able to provide your child with at least 50% normal, sane parenting and 50% crazy BPD bitch. This is in contrast with the current situation where the kid is BPD bitch 100% of the time. At least some of the time your child will get to see what life with a normal parent looks like. And since she is legit BPD, if you play your cards right, there is a decent chance she'll do something fucked up enough for you to get primary custody, if not sole custody.

BluepillProfessor · 2017-04-06T02:03:45+00:00

This HAS to be two of the most amazing sentences EVER in all of human history to put together back-to-back.

She sucked this guy's cock while my son slept upstairs.

I want to salvage this marriage

On the other hand....

I lived in exile downstairs for 10 months. The wife and I work different shifts so we rarely see each other. We had sex maybe twice during that time. I grew butthurt and depressed. Started snapping at my wife like a bitch. And she spiraled and became more and more negative. In my depression I stopped lifting and checked out of my marriage. I played video games and drank. I got fat. Truly pathetic shit.

What did you expect her to do? You were checked out so it wasn't like you were actually "with" her so it wasn't really cheating. Hamster.

izual19 · 2017-04-06T14:34:12+00:00

Gentlemen, I thank you for your insight. I'm going to leave this broken whore. And I'm going to do it on my terms. She smugly threatened me with her debt? I'm wracking up my own and restoring my bronco. She threatened me with not seeing my son? I've got photos of her legs bruised from the ankles up due to her self harming herself for fucking up so bad. She is not stable.

A lot of your comments were brutal, but they were not wrong.

TexasThomas · 2017-04-08T18:35:11+00:00

so you only have sex with your wife twice in 10 months, yet she's giving blowjobs and screwing around with other men?.....what am I missing? why do you want this to work out? She's got you wrapped around her finger for sure. She must be really good in bed, when you actually get it every few months. sigh

soupit · 2017-04-05T13:43:15+00:00

You also cheated tho