Separated wife wants to go on winter vacation with together as family.

mrpthrowa · 2017-02-08T13:44:31+00:00

Got nothing to say but..

me sleeping on sofa bed.

If you do end up going then it's she who sleeps on sofa bed. Cut the chivalry crap.

UEMcGill · 2017-02-07T18:52:23+00:00

I'm all for giving the kids a good environment, but you my friend have no boundaries.

You've let her have her cake and eat it too. She gets to separate. She get's to spend a fuck ton of time with her kids even when they are with you. And now she's got this great idea that you guys go on vacation so she can split the cost all the while, she is still not fucking you? Man this sounds like a great upside.

Now I agree not all divorces have to be nuclear wastelands but you've failed the "separation" part. You've put everyone but yourself first. She's dribbling out her presence with you all the while taking your valuable resources, namely time and energy.

STOP THAT SHIT RIGHT NOW.

She wants to be divorced, fine. Tell her you need space. She needs to stop spending time with you. By god do not go on vacation with this woman.

Google the Divorce 180. I think you need it.

InChargeMan · 2017-02-07T15:56:46+00:00

tell you what. tell her to book you a separate room. She can pay for it. The kids stay with whose ever days they turn out to be.

The days not with the kids? Be seen getting head from a ski bunny .

Plan?

bogeyd6 · 2017-02-07T15:54:18+00:00

If you go on the vacation so soon it's just going to reset you back to square one with her. Tell her she can take the children and go to the resort. Make plans to do something for yourself that weekend. You are the only one going without sex so maybe try to arrange a date during that time and get laid. Its a separation so it's not cheating. A different vagina will do wonders for you and help to take your ex-wife off the pedestal.

Edit: A word.

[deleted] · 2017-02-07T21:02:54+00:00

Do not go on the vacation with her.

You're separated. SHE wanted the separation. Separation means you're living apart as if you're not married.

You're either together or you're not. RIght now you're not together, so you should not be attending events, vacations, etc. as if you are together.

Also, it's likely to be a miserable week with you taking care of the kids, sleeping separately, and watching your wife flirt with the resort staff.

Don't do it.

SexistFlyingPig · 2017-02-07T19:46:16+00:00

What do you get out of her coming with on the family vacation?

Seems to me she's just trying to cockblock you from ever moving on, and at the same time denying you sex to drive you crazy.

"No, we can't vacation together. I'm moving on."

radarshines · 2017-02-07T15:37:14+00:00

I doubt your control of your situation, is.

Let me answer your question with another question. Picture the dude/s shes fucking while you take care of the kids. Picture them getting that deed she never gives you.

Bet it gets you a little pissed doesn't it? I hope it does, that means you're a normal guy, if not, your problems are bigger than MRP can help with.

She has convinced you to be a roommate and babysitter, and you seem perfectly able to insulate her from the consequences of her actions. If you haven't read 'the manipulated man' it's on TRP sidebar, I'd suggest you prioritize this.

Now, after reading that, and picturing the poolboy balls deep, you tell me.

Do you want to take her on a vacation?

How old are your kids? Are you an empty nester in a few years, and you're running out the clock? Are they 5 years old, and primed for a lifetime of shitty parents that can't stand each other? What is it you're aiming for in all this? I hope to fuck you have a direction.

That will at least help us see any holes in your strategy, because this reads like 'letting life happen, react to things she throws at me' and I'm telling you right now, no one should waste their time on that.

RPAlternate42 · 2017-02-07T16:55:01+00:00

Separation is a legal tool so she can fuck around while you are sat at home with the kids. Then when she gets pumped and dumped she is sad after looking in the mirror after her ONS with what she found to be not-a-chad, she can come back legal free because divorce never happened.

If you are serious, divorce her.

If you go on this trip, she gets the couch.

If you go on this trip, you better be hitting up the snow bunnies.

If you go on this trip, you better be doing it in front of her too.

You shouldn't go on this trip with her though. Why would she get fun trips with you (the prize) when she decided to give up that prize?

BrazilRedPill · 2017-02-07T17:32:20+00:00

I see what you are thinking. You want go to this trip, be stoic but with a wishful thinking that she will notice how amazing you are and will want to come back for you and you will all live happy forever.

Admit it to yourself: do you want to make a last try with your wife?

If no, just say no to her. Period. Tell her to go with the kids and you set your mind that it's over for good.

If yes, you need an action plan, the last attempt to try to make this woman to want to be with you. This is where you will be stoic: your only action is to find out if this relationship is worth for you. If she responds well, you go back to living together; if not, it's game over for good. Anyway, you will have your answer.

You will be the best of yourself in his trip, in order to make a conclusion on staying or separating. So don't be butt-hurt for anything, have always fun with yourself, be communicative, be polite. And set boundaries for anything that she does and you don't like, using a short statement, STFU and holding frame. Don't argue, don't make ultimatums.

Two rules that I would open settle with her:

If you are going, you will be sleeping with her on the bed, every night. No sex included, if she asks.
No rides alone. She will do stuff with you and you will do stuff with her.

Remember that it is a test. You are looking for an answer. And in the end, you must make a decision.

If you have sex during the trip and if she accepts to move back with you, I would say that there's still hope.

If she won't have sex with you and doesn't want to move back, it's the fucking end of your shit relationship.

[deleted] · 2017-02-07T23:45:25+00:00

Now if you could just flip this situation where you get sex with no time invested, then you'd really have something.

But as it is, she's manipulating the shit out of you somehow. Part of you doing your MAP needs to be figuring out how she does it and why it works (as in, you're blind to some needy part of yourself but she's playing it all day long). See The Manipulated Man for starters. Might find some clues in there, although NMMNG is probably the better call a month info MRP.

WhiteTrashKiller · 2017-02-08T05:06:02+00:00

Go on the vacation! Better yet, book another room and bring your own guest. Can't be much more blunt than that.

Just let it go and prepare for divorce, you're not there to help manage her emotions. If she comes around so be it(divorce papers could be pulled) , but you need to plan for a permanent break

The_Litz · 2017-02-08T08:58:19+00:00

Just a question, since splitting up have you or your wife actually dated anyone?

Right now it sounds like she has all the advantages of being married without the disadvantages, and vice versa for you.

Griever114 · 2017-02-08T13:33:44+00:00

Separation = divorce.

She wants her cake (other cocks) and she is getting it. She cant have a family and want a separation.

DO NOT GO ON VACATION.

If you want to go on vacation, its YOU AND THE KIDS AND NOT HER. She doesnt get to go. She cant have a "happy family" and want to be separated. She made her choice.

You need to get those fucking divorce papers in order. More than likely, she hasnt had success with other males and wants to get back together since she realized she fucked up BIG TIME. You have been improving and she notices.

innominating · 2017-02-07T15:39:32+00:00

What do you ultimately want?

I would be too busy fucking 24 year olds to have time to go on this trip. I would also be divorced by now.

drty_pr · 2017-02-07T21:08:06+00:00

You need to ask yourself one simple question. Do you want this woman back? I mean truly ask yourself while staring at yourself in the mirror.

All of your comments come off like you really want her to take you back. That's at least the underlying communication I'm getting from it. So she definitely is getting that too.

I'm not saying that making it work is the wrong move. Only that if you choose to, make sure you do it from a position of power, not weakness. Otherwise she is in control still....as she is now.

Think about it man, she gets to have a beta husband that she is separated from. She can fuck whom she wants (she totally is) and still get your affection and companionship. He could be a tattooed ex biker serving weekends at the county who simply takes her to pound town. The beauty of this, is that your perfect relationship as separated parents getting along so well draws all the attention away from how shitty, she may, be treating you.

Make a real list for us. It should say all the thing she does to make your life easy and all the things you do to make hers easy. Do it as objectively as possible too. You're only lying to yourself otherwise. My guess (and hopes), is when you compile this list, you will see this at face value.

Or you could move back in with her as is and make it a open cuck relationship...

As for your question, if you sleep on the sofa...

InChargeMan · 2017-02-07T18:29:20+00:00

Do you or do you not want to get divorced? The answer to this guides your path.

[deleted] · 2017-02-07T18:47:30+00:00

Really, it's about what you actually want. Do you want to have her with you at a resort? Is that how you imagine you winter holiday? If it's not, you're seeing your life through her eyes and that's gotta suck.

red-pill-man · 2017-02-08T01:41:51+00:00

Are you out of your mind?

radarshines · 2017-02-08T13:43:15+00:00

I'm doing this for me. Now she wants the four of us to go together to a resort for winter break.

Just No! Separation is just a prelude to divorce... you need to be planning for that outcome- nothing else.

ReddJive · 2017-02-08T14:17:10+00:00

It's simple

What do you want?

Blunter-S-Thompson · 2017-02-08T21:25:03+00:00

Dave Grohl would like a word with you

[deleted] · 2017-02-08T21:36:02+00:00

I think you answered your own question

[deleted] · 2017-02-09T02:48:56+00:00

"I'm not up for the four of us going together as if we're one happy family "pretending" with the kids.with..me sleeping on sofa bed."

Tell her if she wants to make the headboard shake on vacation, she's welcome to vacation together with you. If she gets pissy, hang up the phone or leave.

No, you can't say it at your house while you have the kids over.

(edited to be stronger)

BluepillProfessor · 2017-02-10T21:35:23+00:00

You have my permission to go- if you bring a girlfriend.

[deleted] · 2017-02-10T21:51:19+00:00

2gunsgetsome · 2017-02-08T00:59:32+00:00

Sure. And bring one of your plates.

Wife occasionally shows signs that my frame has been working.

Who cares.

I'm doing this for me.

coughbullshitahem, because:

I'm thinking "I'm strong. Not the same blue pill dweeb I was" - still a long way to go but still... Thinking I can go on this trip next month and work on Alpha'ing the wife…

Yeah, you'll show her, won't you.

red-pill-man · 2017-02-07T21:08:45+00:00

If you really want to be married to this woman, I'd go on the trip. You can't improve the marriage if you don't spend quality time together.

Hey, if your arrangement works out for you and the kids you may not want to change it up. I personally wouldn't want to be tied to someone who won't have sex, but reaps the benefits of my companionship.