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NMMNG "express your feelings" versus MRP "stoicism" - contradictory? (self.askMRP)

submitted by Westernhagen

In NMMNG he notes that Nice Guys repress their feelings in order to avoid conflict and keep things "smooth". He advises recovering Nice Guys to express their feelings clearly and directly.

Meanwhile the MRP advice is to adopt a stoic demeanor, i.e., to act like you are indifferent to emotion. Yes, of course this means you do not react to her displays of emotion, but on the face of it this also means you should not display emotion yourself. You are an Oak Tree, and all that.

Is this a contradiction? Is there an RP way to display emotion that is not a Nice Guy victim puke? If you are repressing your feelings, are you a frustrated Nice Guy or a stoic Oak Tree?


[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Stoicism

 
Many MRP guys embrace aspects of the philosophy of stoicism.
 
Stoicism does not prevent you from having or expressing emotions, and neither do we.
 
Stoicism is a way of shedding the victim mentality. It is a way to stop being a whiny bitch. It is not the only way.
 
MRP tells you that using her as an emotional tampon or as a personal crutch is a turn off. She will not respect you for it. In fact, she may be disgusted by it. If you act like a child, then she will see you as a child. Most women don't want to fuck children. Don't be a child.

[–]Chump_No_More1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yup, Stoicism is hardly about being emotionless. Quite the opposite. It's a joyful embracing of life and all it's abundance. It's being mindfully awake and open to experiences.

But, you can't be a receiver if you're always transmitting.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

repress their feelings in order to avoid conflict and keep things "smooth". He advises recovering Nice Guys to express their feelings clearly and directly. Meanwhile the MRP advice is to adopt a stoic demeanor,

IMO, you are missing the larger message and the difference between NMMNG and MRP dogma is largely semantic.

The message is that the nice guy is altering his ACTIONS because he cannot express his feelings (wants/needs) honestly or he has feelings that are RESPONSIVE and CONTROLLING to those around him "in order to avoid conflict and keep things smooth". MRP teaches you to express your wants/needs through ACTION that is non-responsive and does not seek to control others.

I see no differences. Acta non verba.

[–]blarggggggggggg1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Meanwhile the MRP advice is to adopt a stoic demeanor, i.e., to act like you are indifferent to emotion.

Like many, you're confusing 'stoic' with 'Stoic'

Check out the book 'A Guide to the Good Life' for a readable primer.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

This is wrong. There is no dichotomy. RP men and uber Alphas display emotion. There is nothing wrong with displaying emotion.

STRONG EMOTIONS like stridency, even anger and rage, love, and hate. These are STRONG and ATTRACTIVE emotions.

Weak emotions like uncertainty, fear, timidness are NOT attractive.

We talk about STFU and stoicism because new guys are usually going to be expressing weak emotions and STFU is by far the better presentation.

[–]WesternhagenWinner[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks! That is exactly the clarification I was looking for.

[–]WesternhagenWinner[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Just finished your book. I see it's all in there. And yeah I need to STFU more than anything else at this point.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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