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Are these a shit-tests or not? (self.askMRP)

submitted by [deleted]

Recently on MRP were some confusions about shit tests - is the particular situation a shit-test or not?

Below I will present some examples + rationales for shittest or not.

Give me your thoughts and analysis - especially if you disagree.

If you have some good materials about shit/comfort tests - drop a link.

From your point of view I am new here. Some info about me :

  • 8 month being aware of TRP
  • about 2 month of MRP aware
  • anger phase finished
  • reality is accepted, now I am trying to mold me and marriage into better forms (previous were good, but I want MORE)
  • still lot to learn/do
  • MMSLP, Rational Male, NMMNG - finished, WISNIFG - in progress,
  • did not have dead bedroom or starfish, - sex 1-3 times per week, but high rejection rate (~50% of hard no) (this was my initial motivator for embracing of TRP/MRP)

even in small doses, this shit(TRP/MRP) works - thx guys

Situation 1A :

Wife is half-sitting/half-lying on bed and holding child in arms after breast-feeding. She tries to sleep child in her arms. She asks with nice tone "could you turn off that bright light".

I need to get up from chair and turn the switch off.

Not a shit-test : She has to get up with baby, which is quite difficult from this position. She cannot just put baby away, cause it is after feeding. Turning light of for me, is 5 seconds, for her, it would be 30 seconds + baby can spit up the milk.

Situation 1B :

Wife is half-sitting/half-lying on bed and watching TV. She asks with nice tone "could you turn off that bright light, please".

I need to get up from chair and turn the switch off. Or she gets up.

shit-test : It is 5 seconds for her, or for me. I am not a fucking servant.

Situation 2A :

Wife is watching TV - and is telling "honey, you need to clean up the bathroom and toilet today"

Ok, this shit needs to be done, like laundry or do dishwasher, - but in this situation it is a clear shit-test - and you should not do this on request. So I am ignoring the request and do something else what I have planned (playing with kid, cleaning sth else, do some handyman working). Even if this is on my duty list (I do not have anything like this, I am doing those duties which I want, and when I want - just getting shit done), and I have missed it, and bathroom is dirty - I acknowledge silently to me that I have fucked up, but even then I will clean it next day.

Situation 2B :

Wife is watching TV - and is telling "honey, you need to clean up the bathroom and toilet today". Wife is after child labour, and is not yet fully operations. She simply cannot do this.

Still shit test. It is a clear command. Reaction like in 2A.

Situation 2C :

Wife is watching TV - and is telling "honey, please, can you clean up the bathroom and toilet today, I cannot do this". Wife is after child labour, and is not yet fully operations. She simply cannot do this.

Not a shit-test. She cannot do this and she asks nicely. I am saying "ok", and I am putting cleaning bathroom and toilet on my daily to-do list. (and of course doing this)

Situation 3A :

I lie in bed. Wife comes naked, "let's have sex". "Ok, come to daddy", "not so fast, you need to scratch my back for 5 minutes".

Gray area for me, not full shit-test, rather something small and irrelevant. Usually I play this "ok, but your hands are going to warm my balls and their colleague" or "ok, but payment will be delivered after transaction" (first sex, second scratching).

Situation 3B :

I lie in bed. Wife comes naked, "let's have sex". "Ok, come to daddy", "not so fast, you need to promise that you will buy me this jewelry/buy new TV".

Shit test alert. She is trying to weaponize sex. Very bad. Here depending on my mood, I am going hardcore "nah, It will be cheaper to hire a hooker for me" or softcore "nah, no jewelry or TV, but you can bring me a beer later if you perform well".

And the last one :

You are in the work. You get a shopping list to do on your way back from work. You know that everyday she does laundry, put dishwasher, take care of child, and lot of other shits. She performs her duty well. Let's assume she is healthy, not-pregnant and not-working.

Not a shit-test - This shit needs to be done - and this is your part of work to have a fully operational family.

EDIT: some formatting


[–]grncld2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I'm not sure what the hell this is, but fuck it - I'll play along:

1a. With a nursing baby, you're both sleep deprived so few things are worth unsettling that quiet contented baby. Do it, no question.

1b. "I'm busy, do it yourself". Or "I'm reading - leave it please"

2a+b. "It's on the list and I'll get to it, but if you're concerned, maybe you could move your ass from in front of the tv and help me out..."

2c. "I already did it this morning since I'm handling this shit while you're unable to"

3a. "Get on all fours and I'll scratch while I hang out of your tail end"

3b. "Lets not bother, your pimp will be coming to pick you up soon"

Last one depends on specifics. It needs to be done, but if she could've gone herself during the day and didn't because she was in front of the tv AGAIN it's a definite shit test!

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Last one depends on specifics.

Yes, I agree.

[–]cholomiteMod / BP Downvote Magnet2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

"My balls and their colleague"

My new favorite line. Thanks.

[–]J_Incognito2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Confession time --- I handled Situations 3A&B wrong for years; "sure honey, 5min of backrub and then sexy time" - which directly led to duty, starfish sex. This is a compliance test for her to confirm that you're still operating in her frame and that she still controls your access to sex. Your responses aren't great - no transaction talk; no first this, then that (even if delivered as a joke). Shut that shit down.

The good news is once I recognized this for what it was, I smashed this test and haven't seen it again. A dismissive snort or "nah" and OI is all it takes. If she asks why you can't do that for her and then have sex, respond "I don't bargain for sex". She'll then say "but I want to" - you "you can start by sucking me".

You owe it to yourself to try this. Remember, boldness is rewarded

[–]enfier1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Fun game - my responses

1A) Reasonable request

1B) "Oh, I'm reading my book" <go back to it>

2A) Depends entirely on context. Is it your responsibility to clean that? Is it possible for her to do it? Is it just a gentle reminder? The solution is easy though either way. I decide if it needs to be done, if it's my job and what priority it has in my book. Then I tell my wife the results of that analysis. In general it's a situation to be avoided. If it is your responsibility you should just do it without being asked, if not then I'd just respond "Yep, the bathroom is a bit dirty. I'm sure you can handle it, I've got to go do <whatever>."

2B-C) Do it based on your own priorities. Add it to your to-do list if needed. The net effect of her comment should be zero because it's already on your list right after taking down the Christmas lights, getting the oil changed on your car and hanging out with Dave.

3A) My interpretation of this is that she means "I'm willing to have sex, but I'm not turned on at the moment." True, the handling is clumsy but a joking response and a bit of foreplay/manhandling and you are both in business.

3B) I'd kick her out of my house and tell her "If I wanted a whore, I'd head to TJ". Weaponizing sex is a no-go in my book. The alternative would be that I'd push it to a sex act that I know she'd never be willing to do and offer to pay for it. Then I'd drop the cash on her as I walked out of the room. Complete disrespect is the go to here.

Last) I'd come home and pretend I hadn't seen it. "Oh I'll watch the kids while you go for the groceries."

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

2B-C) Do it based on your own priorities. The net effect of her comment should be zero

Question is : you thought about doing some X and get your ass up to do this. Immediately she bitches that X needs to be done. Do you proceed?

  • Yes - she sees you as her bitch/servant.
  • No - you teach the bitch to not order/command you

[–]enfier1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

It's not the sort of thing that really has an effective short term solution. Rebellion just makes you look juvenile and is just a reaction to her actions.

In general I'm just not really all that concerned with what my wife thinks of my actions or the job I'm doing. I'm more likely than not than to just put what I'm doing into words "I'm watching TV right now." and then ignore the rest. It sounds like a good answer, but it's reiterating the obvious.

If my wife gets bitchy about it, I'd address her tone rather than the actual task.

Don't waste your time and energy on this kind of bullshit.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Good point.

[–]IASGame1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

3A is a gray area but I think any kind of acceptance of transactional sex (even with "payment after") is to be avoided like the plague. Pre-payment is worse than paying after (particularly as women aren't necessarily honouring the deal after), but "paying" in any way is not compatible with the mentality that you are the Prize.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Situation like this needs to be tested with something like "no, first sex, then you scratch me as a reward for fucking" in playful and teasing manner.

If she proceed with sex, and then scratch you after - I do not see any problem here, and next time you can scratch her.

But if not , and sex option is revoked.... yeah, then Huston, we have a problem.

[–]UEMcGillI am become McGill, Destroyer of Blue Pill1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I lie in bed. Wife comes naked, "let's have sex". "Ok, come to daddy", "not so fast, you need to promise that you will buy me this jewelry/buy new TV".

Ok, but when I pay for sex I usually insist on the full girlfriend treatment. So I'm going to fuck you in the ass.

[–]Redpilllife790 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm new here but 3A sounds like a covert contract to me? But maybe not if she already said she wants to have sex with you.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Game and asperbergers : its like oil and water - they just don't mix

Sarcasm aside -assuming you're not some BP troll. Do and say whatever the fuck you want. Who cares if you pass/fail some stupid shit test. By not caring you will gain her respect and by default pass any stupid shit test thrown your way.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Do and say whatever the fuck you want

Do you literally mean this?

A lot of nice guys are doing this - fulfilling their(women) every request because they want to be nice and supportive.

Are they gaining respect?

[–]Redneck001Red Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Is it something she can do for herself? I don't do it.

And I don't choreplay prior to sex. If I'm back rubbing for 5 minutes, I'm getting blown for 5 minutes. Those are my terms.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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