Cheated - Deserve the Beating to Come

midlifedick · 2016-01-04T03:20:04+00:00

I don't see evidence of you knowing red pill concepts anywhere in this novel. It was a good read, though.

Sounds like married guy came into some money, then hired a crazy prostitute to be his assistant. The end.

You have abundance mentality in all things except pussy.

Your only hope as I see it is to actually learn the red pill concepts. Improve yourself and steel your mind to endure the inevitable blue pill crazy pussy boomerang of destruction you have flung out into the world. Maybe then you will have actual abundance mentality and multiple options.

Some idiots are recommending telling your wife. Don't. Why? To ease your conscious? To "get what you deserve?" If you are so ill prepared to handle your own actions, how do you think this would affect her?! Time for you to get strong and shoulder your own burden.

Search for the welcome post and start reading!

jacktenofhearts · 2016-01-04T12:11:13+00:00

The only reason you want to tell your wife is because you think that's the only way to ensure you don't get charmed by Ms. BPD again.

Which is some weak as shit thinking.

I would advise this as your general roadmap.

First you need to get Ms. BPD out of your life for good. I can't tell you whether you should tell your wife or not. But I can tell you that it shouldn't happen until several months, if not a year, after your last contact with Ms. BPD.

Then:

I guess my ego got all fucked up in the success.

Since you apparently run a very successful business, you're a high achieving male. This tendency for self-destruction is actually very common. Think about Tiger Woods, Anthony Weiner, etc. What's your gut response about what those guys did? What the fuck were you thinking? Why do something this flagrant and blatant? Did you WANT to get caught?

What they were thinking was typically some combination of:

Risk-taking was a big part of their success. The anxiety of taking a risk is oddly comforting for them.
Life is boring if they're not "living on the edge" in same fashion. So these guys need to constantly manufacture situations to put themselves on the edge. And if they get away with it, they have to manufacture an even more dramatic situation.
There is likely some level of "imposter syndrome" haunting them, and so they'll either get away with it (chasing away any doubts they're a faker because they got away with it) or they'll get caught (giving them the relief that at least everyone knows they're the fraud they are).
And/Or there are delusions of grandeur. Their success implies they overcame large odds stacked against them. They don't consider failure, because they didn't fail in their previous efforts. The rules don't apply to them.

In your post I see parts of all of these thoughts, and I also see you've done very little introspection on this, to the point where you may want to consider individual therapy. You will not have very much success in finding a path back to leading your family and your marriage, if you can't figure out why you decided to get off that path to begin with. In other words:

She toxically made me feel alive.

You need to find other things that make you "feel alive." It will be hard to figure that out when you don't even know where your mental models of "feeling alive" came from.

Until you've done that, then you can contemplate telling your wife. Because currently you'd only be doing it to stop your weak-willedness with Ms. BPD, and relieve your feelings of imposter syndrome. In other words you'd only be doing it for yourself and not for her. And think: what will happen when you tell her? You'll probably devastate your wife, earn her contempt for you, and witness the self-loathing for herself. And for what? Why do that? Because you think she should know the truth? Fine, then tell her when the reason for telling her is because you want her to know the truth. Right now you'd only be telling her for YOUR own reasons, which is silly.

spexer · 2016-01-04T14:04:35+00:00

telling your wife would be yet another selfish act done for emotion.

Put together an action plan, and work on yourself.

Redneck001 · 2016-01-04T16:35:44+00:00

Cool story, bro.

What are you going to do to fix the mess you've created?

Sapphire_Jizz · 2016-01-04T07:35:50+00:00

Not much to say, but I'll echo what others have said about your guilty conscience and whether you should tell your wife.

Do not tell your wife for now. Only consider telling her once you have all your shit together, are thoroughly owning your shit, and have solved your mental issues (self-destructive, addictive behaviors, etc.) . If you tell her now or in the near future you will probably destroy your family and get divorce raped. Prepare for these things first, then decide.

2016-01-04T14:27:39+00:00

Midlife crisis is a lie

About 2 weeks into her working at my company, we were fucking like crazy.

Borrowed time, but you already know that.

Drop dead hb10

your rating is skewed, guaranteed.

Now lets cut the bullshit. you don't give a shit that you cheated, you gave a shit because another woman in your life is manipulating you, because you're weak. not only are you weak, but you are making no effort not to be weak. your wife is fat and complacent, and why wouldn't she? I'll bet she hasn't had to fuck you in a while either, right? And I'm guessing this is the first girl (assistant) who showed you a whiff in years? Probably hired her full on 'covert contract' if I hire her, she will fuck and desire me like my wife cant?

There is no magic post that will unfuck your situation. you just have to put in the work you should have put in 12 years ago. Lots of reading, working out, and frame ahead of you. The fact that you're not here because you think you have to fix you (the lip service was nice however, makes me feelz) is irrelevant.

As for the blackmail, do what you like, but it only works because she has something over you. Consider removing that. Get her ass in jail, fess up to the wife, or just let her find out, lawyers would be good for these kind of things, clearly you have the money for it. Ideally, a good man is at a point where he cheats, and the wife doesn't leave. She would rather share an alpha than lose him. the fact you're afraid she'll take your shit when you tell her tells me, you already know how good a man you are generally. That's where I would focus, you just let life happen to you, and clearly stronger people have decided how that will work out.

I could sum up your post as:

Wifes gotten fat and lazy, you've been too weak to address this, and let the first sociopath throw a pussy at me I could find. Now it costs money, what do?

2016-01-04T05:25:00+00:00

Here I am today, thankful nothing has been blown-up yet. Just my fucked up head and a little lighter in the wallet. I want this cunt out of my life so I can repair myself and my marriage. As fucked up as it sounds, I miss her. She toxically made me feel alive. However, I am a shell of my former self. I am anxious all the time, depressed and feel somewhat dependant on her. I was so wrapped up in her that at some level, I wanted to be caught so I could just lose it all and be with her. How fucked is that shit? I have everything, but want to be a cunt like that?

Well, you are a piece of work aren't you. Like in your title, Deserve the beatings to come, what did you think would happen?

You got money, and came to believe you could buy whatever you wanted. Then you bought it. Your ego took over your show, cause you thought it would work. You thought you could get away with it.

In the process your wife quit fucking you, then the 23 YearOldHoe quit fucking you. Now your not h-a-p-p-y, but you miss the 23 YOH, even tho she will probably lead to the destruction of your entire happy little life. If it wasn't the 23 YOH, you might have gone for another form of high, like crack or gambling. You could have spent $300-500 a trip on a regular basis on escorts, maybe had more fun, and it would have been cheaper.

My expertise in this is limited to my lifetime of making my own mistakes. So, I really don't believe that I have any good answers for you for a quick fix. But I do think that you are on a path of self destruction, and there really isn't a clue in your post that tells me why. My only help to you are some questions:

Why are you intent on destroying yourself, and everyone around you?

If you don't know why, do you have any idea how you are going to find out?

When you know why, what are you going to do about it?

Good Luck. You and everyone around you is going to need it.

2016-01-04T06:54:17+00:00

meh.

atticusfinch1973 · 2016-01-04T14:37:02+00:00

Wow this is the first MRP post that made me feel better about myself. someone who fucked up way worse than I did.

Let me tell you something - you did want to be caught so that you could get out of your marriage and do all these things without feeling guilty. You just didn't go all the way. Now you're whining about it.

Since it seems like you want to stay in your marriage, do not divulge anything - ever - and pray that the girl never goes full bonkers and tells your wife.

One of the tenants around here is to LEARN FROM MISTAKES. That means realizing that you need and crave that adrenaline rush and find another way to get it without destroying your family. There are dozens of ways to get that high without fucking girls half your age or blowing tons of money. Go find one and use that to make you feel fulfilled.

2016-01-05T00:56:32+00:00

Trading money for sex is weak bro. Women WANT to fuck strong men and thats not you. Not from start, not now.

Good luck.

outroversion · 2016-01-04T16:49:03+00:00

Lolllllllll

idonemessedupbad · 2016-01-04T18:26:43+00:00

Appreciate the beating fellas.

Yes, I am weak, dumb, retarded and fucked in the head. Haven't made too many monumental mistakes like this in my 40 years. But this takes the cake.

To start I am banning that bitch from my head and my life. Regroup and own my life like I did before I went off the deep end. At that point I will make a decision whether or not to discuss with wife, but at this point I am not in any shape to do that.

I have always enjoyed risk taking through business only. I have never been into drinking, drugs. I don't like losing control. But here I am way out of control because I got weak and decided to self destruct via some crazy pussy. /u/Sapphire_Jizz you nailed it with your reply. I very much appreciate you taking your time to write that. I believe the part about life becoming boring was more what I could relate to as why this took place. I got bored. I enjoyed putting myself on edge to feel something more than the thrill of manufacturing money. I took it way too far and got my head, life and balls all ready to be tossed into a god damn woodchipper.

If for some fucking miracle that slut doesn't drop a nuke on my world, I will never allow myself to be painted into a corner like that again. I will learn from this. If she does drop the nuke, I will face the blistering heat and hope there is no lasting radiation. What is left I will pick up and rebuild.

BluepillProfessor · 2016-01-05T16:03:31+00:00

You need to do some hooker math with your mistress AND your wife. Let us see how it works out, shall we?

$20,000 in cash gifts / $100 night = 200 nights of fucking. Was it worth it when you could have had a much younger and hotter range of women for the same price?

You don't give enough information to do the hooker math with your wife but I will place my bet right now sight unseen.

Remember, you are not paying a hooker to have sex. You are paying her to go away with no problems AFTER you have sex.

Finally, don't tell your wife. Use it to build your abundance mentality and fuck her right in the pussy.

sunfistkid · 2016-01-04T02:39:10+00:00

I'm curious what some of the vets around here might say, but I'm thinking there's nothing they can say that would make you feel any worse than you already feel. Having said that though, I would venture to guess you're about as good a candidate for monk mode that there is. It also sounds to me like it's only a matter of time before this heat seeking missile will deliver the message to your wife about what you've done. I would preemptively come clean, and just deal with the consequences. You owe that to your wife, I would think. I'm new around here, for what it's worth.