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11

Welcome to askMRP (self.askMRP)

submitted by SorcererKing

This sub has been established to help the new guys.

If you have basic questions, ask them here. If you want to victim puke, do it here. If you don't understand some of the basic reading, ask here. If you want to give a micro-field report, do it here.

This sub will also be a place for guys who are working through NMMNG to find safe people for the Breaking Free exercises. We'll work on an efficient way to do that once I get more mods on board.

We won't be as hard on you here as we would on MRP, but the goal is to get you ready for MRP; to start you on the path. Think of this as basic training. When we're done with you here, you'll be red berets. There's still a war out there, and though we can't fight it for you, we can make sure you're trained up and ready.

"When the student is ready, the Master will appear."


[–]rpnow[🍰] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

thanks for this

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I am curious to see how balanced this subreddit can be, as it tries to be that bridge from the complete beta failings of places like /r/DeadBedrooms to the more Alpha-inducing /r/marriedredpill, which I had seen as already a softer, gentler version of the mega-Alpha /r/TheRedPill. MRP has to already balance the fact that we are trying to salvage what we can from our legally binding choices, unlike TRP that gets to shit all over marriage and any thoughts of having to commit to one woman.

[–]legitworkaccount1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I am curious to see how balanced this subreddit can be, as it tries to be that bridge from the complete beta failings of places like /r/DeadBedrooms to the more Alpha-inducing /r/marriedredpill

/r/marriedredpill is its own entity, it's not a support group for people that don't want to change, so /r/askMRP definitely does not need to try to be a bridge to any other group (ex. deadbedrooms, etc.).

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

But it will be, or at least it is meant to be a dumping ground, a reverse bridge perhaps, for guys not able to handle the bluntness of /r/marriedpill.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

That is it exactly.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I knew if I kept spewing mental diarhea out my fingertips, eventually I would type the right thing.

[–]FearDearg2015Mod / Red Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Great idea

[–]bitofawitch1 point2 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

Any suggestions for moms raising sons? I've read the pre-reqs but they seem a little heavy to hand to a (slightly immature) 13-year-old. I have several boys and a BP husband who's little help in this area. I have been encouraging them to spend time with their more RP grandpas, but I wish RPW had more resources on how moms can raise boys to be confident men.

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]bitofawitch0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks. I'll have a look.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy Link

Ian will take care of you but through all of human history the general consensus has been that only men can teach boys how to become men. The record of women doing this is spotty to say the least.

Maybe BP hubby needs to check in?

[–]bitofawitch0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

I'm already doing all the "topping from the bottom" that I can do without making him suspicious. I've tried bringing up some RP thinking in a subtle way, but he's very dismissive of it. I even bought a copy of NMMNG for him, but I'm too scared to give it to him. I'm worried that I'll just make him feel even more inferior if I imply that he needs to change. So I'm doing the, "Whatever you think, Dear." all the time. He's slowly coming around. He actually bought shelves the other day without getting the clear go ahead from me. He only hummed and hawed about it for three weeks before making the decision :) I just don't get why he's so afraid of me. I'm pretty harmless. He used to have a mind of his own.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

You are doing everything right!

According to RPW, there are only two ways to make a man more dominate:

  1. Beat him down enough that he discovers the Red Pill and after the psychotic break he can be rebuilt.

  2. The submission of a good woman to his leadership. NOT topping from the bottom but genuine, true submission. Read "The Surrendered Wife" for more on this topic. Another approach is "Fascinating Womanhood" which is kind of like the female version of MMSL. In the former she describes a man driving who is lost and the woman remaining silent and letting the man work it out. However, he can only step up if you step back and let it happen without the "I told you so's."

I just don't get why he's so afraid of me. I'm pretty harmless. He used to have a mind of his own.

Society is a powerful, even indefatigable force. Your husband has been immersed in the Blue Pill lie that we are all "equal" not "Complementary" and that a "nice guy" lets his wife do anything she wants and surrenders to her. Of course this is not "nice" but actually very cruel to a woman who wants a rock- and what woman doesn't?

[–]bitofawitch2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I've been using option two, obviously, and it's going pretty well, but slow. The hardest thing is, when I hold back and encourage him to use his own judgement, he hounds me for my opinion. It's really hard not to say "I don't care. Just make a decision already!"

I've also used positive reinforcement to great success. Now, when he spends more than 20 minutes complaining about work problems that I don't want to solve for him, I get busy with something else until he changes the subject. Then I try to reward with physical attention, however he isn't very receptive to that either. It isn't just men who have trouble with dead bedrooms.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

I always tell men she can be your mommy, or your lover.

Pick one.

The Red Pill Woman advice (I think) would be to carry on with what you are doing but add a couple nights a week at the gym. This will create sexual attraction/Preselection for a woman, for a man...we are not sure. If you have not already, definitely check in with /r/redpillwomen on this question and read their blog. You are not alone with this problem. Feminism wanted apathetic, weak men and set about changing the schools, the popular culture, the media, the magazines, the news organizations, government, courts, divorce law etc all to bring about this result- and that is exactly what they got.

No, we are not having fun yet.

[–]bitofawitch0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

I do work out at home, but I would like to add going to the gym as well. I just haven't worked out how to accomplish it yet with our budget and childcare issues in the evening (my husband works nights so I'm not even sure he'd notice if I was out at the gym). I do go to movies by myself. Actually, I do a lot of things by myself, now that I think about it. He doesn't seem to notice. Pity party time :)

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Then your answer is to stop doing things by yourself and cultivate a group of friends. Join an activity you enjoy- not a movie you go to by yourself- but something requiring interaction with people.

I am not suggesting you start using Dread Game or Active Dread or anything of the sort. I am suggesting you build a good life and stop validating- and relying on the validation of- your husband in his behavior.

Why not start your own thread on this issue?

[–]bitofawitch0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Will do.

[–]IWontpayyourprice6663 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It seems like this sub could be treated as a kind of "tech support" while internalizing the prerequisite material.

Personally, I have 40 years of programming to detangle so I'll need all the help I can get.

So on behalf of all of us that struggle, but are commited to improvement and independence....thanks.

[–]strategos_autokratorRed Beret1 point2 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

By the way, there is already a sub for the breaking free exercises. It is /r/nmmng

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

holy shit why isnt this mentioned anywhere. Would have been useful.

[–]strategos_autokratorRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It is in the mrp wiki

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret[S] 1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Which may or may not have guys who are familiar with RP and may or may not be trying to implement it. We are not looking to run Break Free exercises here for the general public but rather for MRP beginners.

[–]strategos_autokratorRed Beret0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

Why is this needed? There is no TRP for beginners.

How do you plan from transitioning people stuck seeking validation in a circle jerk to them owning their shit? There is no smooth way to do it, so how to prevent them from getting stuck in a blue pill shallow pool?

I'm not being critical, I'm just asking tough questions to encourage you to kick ass with this sub.

[–]BluepillProfessorMod / Red Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

How do you plan from transitioning people stuck seeking validation in a circle jerk to them owning their shit?

First, I propose posting guidelines that will possibly eliminate the problems with /r/askTRP and another conceptualization. As you know, MRP is a "Locker Room" for bloody, sweaty Captains. AskMRP is more of a fuzzy support group for new guys unsure about unplugging. The main difference is the change in tone to a more friendly, less direct tone. For example: Instead of telling a new guy:

"You are a shitty, unattractive Captain who needs to own his shit- now wonder your wife doesn't fuck you" try something like:

"It looks like you could work on your leadership skills and build more attraction."

Second, I propose liberal use of the banhammer. Guys posting multiple victim pukes will be warned. Guys posting after a warning will be banned.

There are 4 categories of posts accepted on AskMRP which are banned on MRP:

  1. Emergency Cases: New guys ready to file for Divorce. This is treated like the MMSL 911 section- for when it is REALLY bad.

Guidelines: The goal is to help these guys. Most of the time the goal is to calm them down enough so they can get on the MRP plan, get in shape, start taking charge, and so on. In MOST cases, these questions should be handled by Flaired MRP (or TRP) guys.

  1. Victim Pukes: Everybody gets one- and only one- thread devoted to their rage, anger, and bitterness. Vomit out the Blue Pill like hot green pea soup and get it out of your system.

Guidelines When replying to a victim puke, don't deride or harshly criticize. Use some tact and attempt to help move OP past the "Anger Stage."

  1. Basic Questions: What is a covert contract? How do I distinguish a Shit Test from a Comfort Test? How can I deal with the anger stage of unplugging? For those people who just cannot wait until they complete the course prerequisites and must know the answer to the most basic questions today.

Guidelines: All are free to answer for now. IF we start getting crappy Bluepill advice we will change this to encourage only MRP (or TRP) flaired posters from responding. Please answer the question clearly and concisely. Avoid belligerence and direct confrontation.

  1. Captains Log- Personal Journey Journals: You may post a weekly update thread. In most cases the first entry in the personal journey journal is your Victim Puke. You must link your previous update at the beginning of any new thread. You must label your entry "Update #X: X Weeks In" along with a specific identifier (Example: "Update #5: 5 weeks unplugging: The tide turns") or something equally informative.

Guidelines: All are free to answer. You may begin to criticize the Original Poster, especially by pointing out problems and areas of improvement. Use some tact but be direct and to the point.

[–]IWontpayyourprice6661 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

A dude can fool himself into thinking that he has become a "captain", but he's not going to fool his wife….and even if he does it sure as fuck won't last.

If a man is determined enough to succeed he will eventually be forced to own his failures and learn from them. In other words, if a guy can't outgrow a sub like askMRP, he was never going to succeed at MRP in the first place.

It's not the responsibility of this sub or any other to see that anyone succeeds. That responsibility rests with the individual and the individual alone.

HOWEVER…many of us will not be able to help ourselves without first having help from others. The main MRP sub was flooded with chump questions and comments, I'm just as guilty as anyone of this. But there were several occasions where a genuine question that I asked was totally dismissed because the assumption was that I was looking for a "quick fix" and that I had put no effort into thinking/reading about these things. OK..so what?…did I get my feelings hurt?..nope…BUT I ALSO DIDN'T GET MY QUESTION ANSWERED…

If there is a Sub where the ASSUMPTION is that you are just learning, just starting or plain not getting it then perhaps a guy can get help past the initial stumbling blocks until he can REALLY start figuring out shit for himself.

I'm still noob as fuck, so I may be way the hell out of line here. But just knowing that this Sub exists give me more confidence to try shit out, fail, learn, and improve. It's like training wheels on a bike. No dude with training wheels on his bike is moistening panties, so I'm working like fuck to get them off. Pretending that I don't need them is the height of self denial and arrogance.

anyway, thanks for your insight and help.

[–]strategos_autokratorRed Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I used to believe this, that i had to become the captain. This is wrong.

You are the captain. You have always been the captain. You have just ignored your duties because you are drunk. Because of this, your crew lost trust on you, and your wife is reluctantly captaining. She won't trust you any time soon and let you captain. However, the only way forward is for you to sober up, do more shit, take more responsibility, and when the conflict comes, show your leadership. There are no training wheels. You just captain, and learn from your mistake.

You will fall hard. But then, you discuss in MRP what you tried and why you failed, and you learn, and try again. Look at the guidelines in MRP that we wrote, it is for that.

The assumption in MRP is men can't stop improving, can't stop learning. Read TRP, you will see it is the same. Men are men because we never stop improving. There is no "safe" place to learn to be men, because that in itself is a childish thought. There is no mommy to teach you how to become a man. ALl you can do is try, learn, and keep doing that. Because that process is manly.

I've read a lot of posts here that do belong in MRP. Frankly, i think people are afraid of not getting validation in MRP, so they shy away and think that maybe in the kiddie pool it is safer. This is bullshit that reveals people are looking for validation.

[–]IWontpayyourprice6661 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I've read a lot of posts here that do belong in MRP. Frankly, i think people are afraid of not getting validation in MRP, so they shy away and think that maybe in the kiddie pool it is safer. This is bullshit that reveals people are looking for validation.

you're probably right…and I certainly can't say that I am innocent of this. It's tough to NOT look for validation at first, but I guess that's exactly your point. If it was easy then it wouldn't be a challenge and there would't be improvement.

You've given me a lot to think about.

thanks.

[–]strategos_autokratorRed Beret0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

I love the icon for the sub.

[–]SorcererKingMod / Red Beret[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Wish I could claim credit. The Count made it.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I'm thinking of seeing if marriedredpill mods would like a captain alien with an arm around the hamster alien.

[–]ford_contourRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

That's awesome.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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