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I'm writing this post to keep me sane.

Like damn, it's only day 3 and I want to either play a game, watch a mindless youtube video or do something unproductive and totally useless. Doing nothing but productive shit is making me insane, the withdrawal from easy dopamine is real.

How do you ever even beat it, I mean, it's day 3 and for this to go away I'd have to probably go at least a month without easy dopamines.


[–]GS600Life57 points58 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

So much extremeism on this post. Everything in moderation is the key thing.

We are not robotic and still need dopamine hits whether that is sex or games ect. The balance is finding what is moderation and that is completely up to you. If moderation is you playing 5 hours a day but you still get all your shit done then so what? If its affecting other aspects of your life and eating away at them, then you need to moderate yourself.

I beleive if you really want something so bad then you should have the willpower to control yourself although we are animals we are moral creatures.

Here's a couple of things to try: Get rid of your gaming console. Unplug it if you don't want to get rid of it and place the wires around your house and by the time you start looking around you've given yourself enough time to think why you don't want to play games. If you have steam for example on your PC just always wait 2 minutes before you click on the application and in them 2 minutes you might talk yourself out of it.

[–]SalporinRP7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

So much extremeism on this post. Everything in moderation is the key thing.

I know it's crazy. A bunch of people just wanking over their flawed perception of TRP theory. There are people in here saying reading fiction books is worthless...

What they fail to understand is that leisure and escapism activities can actually be productive. It just requires discipline, which is the hard part. For example I love the movies. I see movies in theaters probably 2 times per month. Now on paper that activity is "unproductive" to a lot of people in this thread. But if it's helping me relax and keeping me sane and refreshed for the next day at work then it's honestly productive.

[–]moltenw[S] 1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

So much extremeism on this post.

Could be. I do tend to go either black or white and be hard on myself for even wasting a couple of hours of my time.

Get rid of your gaming console.

No game console, could never care for console games. Only ever played games on computer (which is also the platform I use for my work). Think this is more of an eastern europe thing (less money to buy consoles). As far as I'm concerned, muricans are the ones who like their streetfighters and marios. (kidding, but not really)

If you have steam for example on your PC just always wait 2 minutes before you click on the application and in them 2 minutes you might talk yourself out of it.

and in them 2 minutes you might talk yourself out of it.

And what if you don't? I personally only had Steam for Team Fortress 2, but that's besides the point.

[–]Shredderick420-1 points0 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Play tekken 7

[–]moltenw[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

is it so bad that I will never want to use easy dopamines ever again?

In all seriousness, tekken is actually one of the only console games I've ever enjoyed (alongside mortal kombat).

[–]someonesopinion69694 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

get off reddit and stop getting easy dopamine from your replies on this post

[–]moltenw[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Good point, friend.

[–]GS600Life1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You're being harsh on yourself and don't really mean what you say otherwise you'd have stopped. I think you need new hobbies.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

That's the thing that makes me laugh about TRP sometimes. Focus on your goals and work towards them, but it doesn't mean you can't have fun or unwind with a couple hours or gaming after a productive day.

[–][deleted] 93 points94 points  (52 children) | Copy Link

You just need to try things constantly to see what you like.

People give up on reading quick because they never find genres/styles they actually like.

Buy a pen and draw.

Nail a piece of wood together.

Cook a nice dish.

Melt copper into moulds.

What activities do you do in video games? Try to do them in real life.

[–]Wilson-AOL65 points66 points  (13 children) | Copy Link

Regarding video games, I like to kill people mostly. Shall I try that in real life? :)

[–][deleted] 47 points48 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

you don't like to kill people. shooting a virtual gun with a controller has NOTHING to do with killing people in real life.

ask a vet.

what you like is: competition, mastery, improvement.

Find a sport activity or skill that allows you to compete, and improve.

The difference is that in video games, it's MUCH easier to improve, with no pain, and much more quickly.

You need to find a way to become more patient and see the improvement over the course of time.

[–]willard_swag8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

A good activity to go from videogames to real life competition is to play paintball.

Source: I've played most weekends for the last 11 years

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

paintball is just pure unadulterated fun :)

[–]Turkerthelurker5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

And holy shit what a work out. Intermittent sprints, squating/lunging, climbing, and mentally exhausting too.

[–]Wilson-AOL2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I know man, i was joking, for real. Shooting people is not like in games and it is also stupid.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

gotcha. that doesn't come across in text.

[–]User-31f64a4e12 points13 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

No, but you could certainly spend range time and ammunition becoming more proficient with firearms.
You might take a clearing class, or go do this

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

3 gun competition, available all over the us. I'm a HUGE fan of project Appleseed, an organization that teaches rifle marksmanship, not as flashy as Mr Wick, but learning the basics will make you a better shooter. I grew up hunting, fought in a war, and I still learned skills at the appleseed I attended.

[–]JaYogi0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This!

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Take up target shooting or hunting.

Seriously - I had your issue a few years back. I got into archery and slingshots, and not only is it a fantastic proximity for shootey shootey gun blammo video games but it also is strangely zen once you get into it

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You can be mean in real life.

[–]sensestiveMale0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I just love dropping em with headshots

[–]moltenw[S] 5 points6 points  (37 children) | Copy Link

People give up on reading quick because they never find genres/styles they actually like.

Yes, but reading fiction in itself I consider to be useless.

Buy a pen and draw.

True, I should do that.

The thing is - when you are not good at all these activities, it's incredibly tempting to revert back to video games as a clutch, not only because they are easier and you are good at them (well, at least I am. not really an acomplishment is it huh), but because they are specifically made to make the players addicted to them.

[–][deleted] 25 points26 points  (31 children) | Copy Link

Met a bunch of men who don't like fiction and they have NPC responses as to why. You are missing out on one of the largest parts of human experience. Start by reading history, a lot, eventually you will understand fiction. Also some of the best "fiction" contains better psychology lessons then any "non-fiction" books. Maybe start with "Blood Meridian" .

Only takes a few weeks doing anything to feel good at it. (a feeling of progress)

[–]Spizmack5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If you don’t like reading don’t start with blood meridian. What are you even talking about?

That’s one of the most depressing and dreadful books in existence and is almost entirely written in metaphor and symbolism. It’s not a starter book

[–]moltenw[S] 4 points5 points  (25 children) | Copy Link

Met a bunch of men who don't like fiction and they have NPC responses as to why. You are missing out on one of the largest parts of human experience. Start by reading history, a lot, eventually you will understand fiction. Also some of the best "fiction" contains better psychology lessons then any "non-fiction" books. Maybe start with "Blood Meridian" .

The problem with fiction is that it's escapism just like anything else. I consider art and music escapism as well.

Now, I'm not saying you can't learn valuable lessons from those things, but it needs to be done with that purpose - to use that medium to learn, otherwise you are just indulging in escapism, and perhaps randomly you'll learn a thing or two that's also somewhat applicable to the real world.

I don't really consider finding something valuable in fiction an argument. You can find something valuable in any acitivity, for example - I learnt how to be content on being alone, aka I leart solitude from extensively sitting in my room and playing video games. That doesn't suddenly make video games valuable.

[–]finally_a_free_man6 points7 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

You got it all twisted here. To deny yourself of art and music is to deny yourself of some of the greatest creations of mankind. What am I really escaping if I go out downtown and enjoy a live funk/jazz band in a dimly lit room full of other people? I'm in the moment right now, enjoying the beautiful sounds that these instruments make through the composition and performance of the band.

[–]moltenw[S] -4 points-3 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

They are creations of mankind, but how exactly are they helping YOU live your day to day life?

Video games are also a creation of mankind, and how exactly are they benefitting people's lives?

[–]Shredderick4206 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Sorry OP but it seems hard to live in your skin when you see music as same par as drugs etc.

[–]moltenw[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

when you see music as same par as drugs etc

I never said that. I just said that music is escapism just like drugs (but of course on a different level).

[–]Shredderick4202 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

So is carpentry, forex trading, lifting weights etc in that logic of yours.

Just be progressing in life, thats it.

[–]finally_a_free_man2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Your logic is flawed in the sense that you are equating the value of art/music with videos games due to them being man made. Here’s how music and (performing) art has tremendously helped my life:

Music brings people together through sharing of music or actively listening to it together and finding meaning within the music. I have a playlist that I listen to every morning which allows me to sing and dance, which starts off my day in a happy mood. Singing and dancing are huge confidence boosters and that confidence will carry into other aspects of your life.

I am also a b-boy (breakdancer). MUSIC is everything to us. We express ourselves physically with our art (dance) through another form of art (music). Ive made life long friends with ambitious, cultured, and intellectual people through this dance. It has become my passion (mission) and has brought meaning into my life. I have the ability to dance when I go out casually, which attracts women and other male comrades.

[–]moltenw[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sure, but there's a major difference here (perhaps one I did not mention).

What you are doing is not easy dopamine at all - you are a proffesional dancer and you are a creator, not a consumer.

Now, one could argue that I'm backpedaling my "escapism" argument, because what does it matter if it's "consumer escapism" vs "creator escapism" ? It's still escapism technically, right?

I will say that the context matters, but I can't explain everything with a grey zone in there, it would be too long and situational.

If I had to define what "escapism" is in practical sense - it's something that interferes with you living in the real world. Does it make sense?

Some examples :

Playing video games for fun - escapism.

Playing a video game for learning purposes (of course as long as you are not rationalizing, but really are doing it for this purpose) because someone recommended how some of the concepts could help your projects - not escapism.

Creating a game for profits - not escapism.

Essentially, anything that does not help you live in the "real world" is escapism. How is reading fiction and thinking about living in those created worlds helping one live in the real world? How is making depressive music (like Lil Peep or something) or art helping anyone get their life together (relating to those themes does not help them overcome them)? And so on.

At the end of the day, if it works for you - good. Too many variables in this life and how the fuck am I supposed to know that my way is the only possible way that works. As far as I'm concerned - if it works for me, then that's the only thing that matters.

[–]SalporinRP3 points4 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Jesus christ you sound like fun at parties...

Art (including fiction books) is a massive part of culture and human history. Reading is stimulating for the brain and do you really want to go through a life where you only do purely "productive" things?

Oh my favorite band is in town? Fuck that, not productive.

Oh my favorite director's new movie just hit theaters. Fuck that, not productive.

Sounds lame.

Dude you seem to have gotten the wrong idea from this sub. Some escapism/mindless fun can be useful sometimes, the key is just to not overdo it. Just look at yourself for example. You say you're going insane.

If me going to see a movie in theaters every 5-6 weeks helps me unwind and relax a bit then can you really say that it's "unproductive"?

[–]moltenw[S] -1 points0 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

If me going to see a movie in theaters every 5-6 weeks helps me unwind and relax a bit then can you really say that it's "unproductive"?

Nope, but there's no doubt a more productive way out there that you could have unwinded as well.

[–]No_senses2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

This mentality is why you are struggling. There’s nothing wrong with fun and hobbies, as long as you are taking care of the shit that needs to be done. If you choose to live every waking moment toward productivity, that’s on you. I don’t mind being productive 6 days out of the week then taking the last day to relax and enjoy myself.

I’m not even sure what this question is about. You say you’re going crazy trying to be productive 24/7 but you have been basically fighting everyone who tells you to take a break and enjoy yourself once in awhile.

If you want just want advice on how to deal with grinding 24/7, I’ll give you a hint. There is no advice. You have to grit your teeth and get through it.

[–]moltenw[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This mentality is why you are struggling.

I'm doing pretty great with this mentality so far, but alright. Of course I'd be struggling when I'm seriously trying to change an aspect of my life that hasn't ever been tackled before. Things take time, I was just looking for some additional guidance.

There’s nothing wrong with fun and hobbies, as long as you are taking care of the shit that needs to be done.

Fair enough, but I don't see how anyone who has achieved greatness did the "do what's neccessary, then laze off."

If you want just want advice on how to deal with grinding 24/7, I’ll give you a hint. There is no advice. You have to grit your teeth and get through it.

Seems about right.

[–]SalporinRP0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

But I like movies. Both my parents worked in the movie business and I was brought up in a house that loved them. They bring entertainment and happiness to my life.

I don't think I could ever just stop seeing movies in theaters because I love just going alone and being by myself sometimes while I watch a drama that none of my friends want to see.

[–]moltenw[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

But I like movies. Both my parents worked in the movie business and I was brought up in a house that loved them. They bring entertainment and happiness to my life.

Cool, I like games as well. Doesn't mean I don't understand that there are better things out there to do with my time. It's also a form of habit in a way. You have given value to movies due to your upbringing etc, but if you now tried 90 days really hard not to watch any movie and do something productive instead, if you'd succeeded, I'd doubt you'd miss them too much other than an urge once in a while.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

Well sounds like your perspective is entirely wrong. Who are you to label it as escapism?

Anyway all my counter points will just be dumb and turn you further away from fiction.

You should probably read some Fredrich Nietzsche -> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friedrich_Nietzsche Not just his wikipedia article and some blog posts. Read a couple of his books. He is pretty much mandatory reading anyway if you want to know a thing about the world.

[–]moltenw[S] 1 point2 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

"Fiction" in itself is something created, and something that's not "real".

Would say you video games are not escapism then as well? Technically, they are "real" and a part of this world, so they could technically not be escapism, but I think we all understand that video games are, in fact, escapism.

This isn't even about labeling things.

[–]goblinboglin1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

it's actually common self-betterment tip -> start reading non-fiction books

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Video games are not escapism... I haven't played them as an escapism in over 10 years but don't mind playing a game here and there.

Anyway, not going to convince you about fiction, just going to point out it seems foolish and I don't know why you have convinced yourself as such, maybe so you can seem edgy.

Only a small few great men would share your viewpoint.

[–]moltenw[S] 2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Video games are not escapism... I haven't played them as an escapism in over 10 years but don't mind playing a game here and there.

"played them as an escapism" - not sure what you mean by that, since playing them just for the sake of playing in itself is escapism imo, everything else sounds like your hamster rationalizing your incompetence.

I'd like to know why you consider them not an escapism, especially when you literally indulge yourself in a different world that's not real.

Only a small few great men would share your viewpoint.

And how is that an argument? The world is 95% if not more bluepill, you don't go around here and say "well, but the world thinks x and y is fine". Just because a viewpoint has a majority backing it doesn't mean it's correct. On the same hand, it also has the potential to not be correct either if it's a minority viewpoint (like mine).

If 99 / 100 people agreed on one thing being true which you thought was stupid and untrue, the fact that 99 people say it's true STILL doesn't make it true.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

I'm talking about great men, who of your idols thinks fiction is useless?

Literature is one humanities greatest achievements, it is on you to explain why it is useless...

[–]moltenw[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

who of your idols thinks fiction is useless

I don't really have idols. And again - why does this matter? You are essentially giving your idols a symbolic value, and refusing to think for yourself.

I have leart many things from many people which have all helped me tremendously, but do I blindly agree with everything they say? Of course not. Take what I find useful and move along.

Literature is one humanities greatest achievements, it is on you to explain why it is useless...

I never said it's useless, but it's still escapism. Instead of being in the moment and remaining in the present, humans have created multiple ways of trying to escape the (for a dopamine addicted person) boring, harsh reality to cope.

Instead of achieving something meaningful in the real world where it's hard and not as exciting, people turn to video games where it's fun and easy. After all, getting levels in World of Warcraft is more fun than becoming a great carpenter, right?

In same vein -

Listening to blue-pill music + lyrics and indulging in it to escape reality just for a moment etc.

And when it comes to FICTIONAL literature - you again indulge yourself in fictional stories/worlds/settings that don't happen in real life, because real life is comparatively boring, right?

heavy drug use? Alcohol? To escape from reality. "But it's fun!" - of course, more than being in reality and accepting it, right?

Instead of accepting the reality and trying to live in it, most want to escape it, but there is no escape, becaue eventually you return back to it anyways. No amount of drugs, music, video games or literature you consume will let you escape from your day to day life, and the more you escape, the less you'll want to be in the real world - the place you actually have to live in.

Your premise seems to be that all this "Advancement" that humans have had is a good thing. I think it's the opposite. The more we strive further from our nature, the worse it gets.

You've ever seen a sad frog or something? Of course not, because it doesn't even need to think about shit, it just is and that's all there is to it, which is great. The idea that having intelligence is a good thing is misguided as well. Some of the most happiest people I've seen haven't been very bright, and if the intelligence laughs at thinking that that's correct, then that's the Ego speaking. Of course you'd try to protect your viewpoint of the world since the moment you or anyone else starts to question it, it gets threatened.

[–]Immuchtooawesome1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Do you honestly believe that George Orwell's and Aldous Huxley's works are forms of escapism?

Fiction like this acts as a heuristic for philosophical and political discussions. Understanding great works of fiction is to understand man on a fundamentally deeper level.

[–]Shredderick4200 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Playing piano for me is one of the finest and most essential ways of escapism, which has benefits too

[–]GS600Life-1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

The only good I could see from reading fiction is that it could possibly help you make your own personal stories sound better when talking to others but again there are probably actual classes/lessons/tutorials for that which would be more efficient I would imagine... wait is imagination an escapism?

[–]SalporinRP1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Or maybe you can just like a book for what it is? As entertainment.

I've read fiction books that have made me ponder life and ethics much more than any non-fiction book.

[–]GS600Life0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes you are right mate, I was playing on the idea that because it's not real it's worthless such as pur imagimation then!

I don't personally read fiction as I enjoy other methods of entertainment/downtime. Like you said, it helps recharge and can help productivity in the long run.

[–]moltenw[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

but again there are probably actual classes/lessons/tutorials for that which would be more efficient I would imagine

This is essentially what I was trying to convey. You can find something valuable in almost anything, but that doesn't mean there isn't a better way of doing things.

As for imagination being escapism - I would say yes. If it's in moderation, then it's not going to be too harmful as with anything (still would be better without it probably), but there's a reason things like maladaptive daydreaming exist. I used to indulge myself into that a lot a couple of years ago, imagining all kinds of fun scenarios... which of course made reality pale in comparison. It also gave me a sense of accomplishment even though I never acomplished anything in the real world.

[–]StrongAffordance 1 points [recovered]  (4 children) | Copy Link

Instead of reading fiction if you’re opposed to it (which I don’t see why you should be) try reading biographies of heroic historical figures. Sometimes it can read like fiction but you know it’s historically accurate so that may help you engage better.

[–]moltenw[S] -2 points-1 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

try reading biographies of heroic historical figures. Sometimes it can read like fiction but you know it’s historically accurate.

And how the hell do you know that? Because some schmuck tells you this on the cover of the book?

I'm also not saying that every biography is inaccurate, but clearly at it's best - it's just the closet thing we can get to the truth.

How do you know that what some guy achieved in the year 536 was exactly how it's said in a book? Even if it's mostly correct (which you will never know because you weren't there, and all you have to go on is the trust of someone else saying that it is), the details and the message in them could be lost along the way, perhaps mistranslated, misinterpreted, perhaps rewriting history and so on (not like that's never happened before).

[–]BACONisKEWLEST1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Dude who shoved that stick up your ass?

[–]moltenw[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

it was a legit question, never was meant to be taken edgy or aggressive.

[–]Incaahhh10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Stay busy and look for "productive" hobbies like buying stock or working out. Shit that you like and benefits you.

Im stuck right now in limbo - I work full time and go to school. So im always busy but never fulfilled by what keeps me busy. This caused me to smoke weed everyday for about 3 years just to "keep things interesting" when in reality it was just a dopamine fix since nothing else I do brings me satisfaction. It's a bitch to get over.

[–]fromdario9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Use your reward system to your advantage.

Select positive behaviors / hobbies that you actually want to encourage and focus on orienting your reward system to those.

  • working out
  • meal prep
  • learning new skills
  • starting a side business / hustle
  • walking / running
  • pickup
  • investing / stocks
  • creating art / writing / music, etc

Meditation is very helpful, its hard in the short term but the rewards are self evident.

If I have an impulse to engage in an unproductive behavior while I know I should be doing something else, I like to do the following and it seems to work for me.

-- If I have a strong impulse to a behavior that I know isn't good for me, I simply take a minute and sit doing nothing. The trigger that makes me want to do whatever behavior slowly subsides after a couple minutes and I can then consciously make the choice after if I want to do it or not. That pause for 1-5 min helps reorient myself to the task at hand, while also giving me a little break and not adding more fuel to the fire of impulse. It was explained to me that this works because the anticipatory chemical reward subsides after a minute or two and if you can make it past that point, you will find it much easier to get back on track. It's about taking that pause between impulse and action.

[–]moltenw[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Select positive behaviors / hobbies that you actually want to encourage and focus on orienting your reward system to those.

Again - almost anyone who struggles with quitting these things KNOW and have selected positive behaviors / hobbies to encourage, but the DOING, aka the "focusing on orienting your reward system to those (instead of the easy dopamine ones) is the hard part.

One could give you a list of the hobbies they want to implement, but two weeks later you come by and they are still indulging themselves in easy dopamine. Most people know what they should be doing, but that doesn't mean they do it.

If I have a strong impulse to a behavior that I know isn't good for me, I simply take a minute and sit doing nothing. The trigger that makes me want to do whatever behavior slowly subsides after a couple minutes and I can then consciously make the choice after if I want to do it or not.

That's essentially what I'm doing. The strong impulse / withdrawal comes on, and I just stand up or sit, walk around a bit and just try to ignore it until it goes away (even though in the moment it feels like it won't go away, it always does. Still, understanding this helps only just so slightly in those moments).

[–]GGrub83 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Videogames don't need to be a mindless waste of time. You can learn a lot from them, as long as they have depth.

I'm not a native English speaker and I learned the language thanks to videogames in my teens (they do teach English at school in my country but you don't really learn much). Perhaps you could try learning another language through them?

Also if you're into math, computer science and/or economics, Youtube channels like Extra Credits are all about explaining how these fields factor in the videogame industry. You can learn from them and apply the same concepts to other fields.

Finally, videogames tend to have amazing soundtracks and often catch the attention of music experts.

Like everything else, videogames are a tool. You can use it as just another source of easy dopamine or you can dive deeper and extract itstheir full potential as a learning tool.

[–]moltenw[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Like everything else, videogames are a tool.

Yes, they can be used as a tool for things you've mentioned - learning language, learning about beautiful soundtracks that music experts can use etc etc, but the key word here is that they are used as a TOOL.

When people mention they have a video game addiction, never have I ever heard anyone mention they have an addiction for how much language they have learnt in a game or how "much creative ideas they are getting from constantly playing them."

Again - if used as a tool, it can be used for learning (But even then, there are probably better ways to learn everything you mentioned than videogames, especially with the potential downsides), but what I'm getting at is the EASY side of it, the mindless procrastination and so on (not just for video games, but browsing useless social media pages, watching useless mind-dumbing series / youtube videos and so on).

[–]RP09865 points6 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Firstly you need to define your motivaton to quit. Then you need to work on the underlying reasons you became addicted and most importantly you need to develop strategies and plans for doings things that will operate over your old habitual neural pathways. If you’re addicted to video games and your current strategy is sitting in your house trying to resist then you need to create some tasks, goals and missions that involve things outside etc.

Over time you stop habitually engaging in these short term fixes and engage in long term self improvement, by this point the results you see should ensure you never end up back where you began.

Things like excercise and lifting are important. Meditation is also linked to altering parts of your brain related to excess dopamine.

[–]moltenw[S] 2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

If you’re addicted to video games and your current strategy is sitting in your house trying to resist then you need to create some tasks, goals and missions that involve things outside etc.

And what if you are working from home for a project that has to do with graphic design and in general - remaining seated next to your computer 8 hours a day? It's like I'm playing on hard-mode here, and I have very limited options since I don't have enough money to do something else, and this is THE plan to move out etc.

Over time you stop habitually engaging in these short term fixes and engage in long term self improvement

I understand that, but in the moment of huge withdrawal spikes it all seems so far from your reach. I'm trying to understand is - how to not succumb in those moments.

Things like excercise and lifting are important. Meditation is also linked to altering parts of your brain related to excess dopamine.

I do both of these things, lifting 4+ times a week at least and meditating 30 minutes every day, yet this does not really help much.

[–]RP09861 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

On this level what worked best for me is incremental withdrawal. Ensure your area is set up for work or dedicate a specific area for it and then give yourself rest times to engage in social media/game whatever. Over time reduce this time whilst increasing your “flow” state with your job and opting for alternative replacement things for rest breaks.

Over time as my projects began getting more involved I found myself with less desire to get the social media fixes.

I also found keeping a day planner was vital for remote work and keeping disciplined.

[–]moltenw[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Incremental withdrawal is tough when you are addicted and the "binge" kicks in, not sure how to explain it.

Ensure your area is set up for work or dedicate a specific area for it and then give yourself rest times to engage in social media/game whatever.

Since I have only one computer, if I want to dedicate my work area to work, then that's it. Can't play games on it.

Also, I don't use social media, deleted it half a year ago, couldn't feel better about the decision.

Day planners are good, but then arises another issue - being disciplined to keep on writting things in your day planner. After multiple days of writting, one starts to think "Man, I don't need this anymore. I'm fine" and bam, everything reverts back in a few days. If you notice these patterns and try to implement them next time, then that's good, but if you try to implement too many things at once, then everything breaks anyway.

You know what... maybe I want everything too fast.

I'm only 19, and If I'd have to look objectively at my progress in the last year, it would be incredible. Implemented a lot of good habits and in general - I feel great. Maybe what I really need is just time and to continue onward.

[–]Ohboohoolittlegirl0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Go and work outside of your home. A coffeeshop, library or anything will do I'd say.

[–]moltenw[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don't have a laptop, but in general, I'd agree.

[–]Endorsed ContributorKeffirLime2 points3 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

You need to start small and build slowly, cold turkey just makes you crash, burn and relapse eventually. I have a post on it coming up soon.

[–]moltenw[S] 1 point2 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

Keffir, isn't that a paradox?

How can you start small and build slowly while at the same time being addicted to those things?

If an addicted person could just say to themselves "Hmm, yeah, I do have a problem. From now on, I will instead of playing video games for 8 hours a day which I've done for the past 6 years will now instead do productive stuff when I wake up, and then play 7 hours, then eventually 6 and so on".

It just doesn't work, because no addicted person has this rationale in mind. Even if they do get the motivation to do this for 1 or 2 days, it eventually all falls apart - they give up and the cycle repeats.

You say cold turkey makes you crash, but for what it's worth - cold turkey is the only thing that HAS actually helped me. I've had periods where I didn't touch a single game for 4 months, then binged, and then went cold turkey again. I'm not sure if the addiction feeling will ever go away since it's been a huge part of my life, but the cold turkey process was the only thing that helped.

[–]Endorsed ContributorKeffirLime5 points6 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

Not at all, gradually less use is pretty well documented in heroine addicts, It's also how they wean you off opiods, they gradually reduce the dose.

It's about breaking down certain habits and building up certain other habits, it's a form of CBT(Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) it takes a time though.

Recognizing your issue is a step in the right direction, now put together a super simple, manageable plan. Don't try and read for 4 hours and no videogames. Read 10 pages a day this week, then 15 a day next week and so on. Play 10 minutes less videogames this week, then 15 minutes less next week.

For anything to stick as a longterm solution it needs to be internalized as a habit. The basic idea is that the new positive habits you build will improve your life, which will in itself offset the desire to do behaviors that will be detrimental to your life.

[–]moltenw[S] 1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

In the heroine addict cases, where they helped by anyone else? Or did the heroine addicts themselves internalized the habits on their own?

It's important to know this, because what's stopping the heroine addict to say 3 days in the plan - "Oh what the heck, why did I want to reduce the amount I use anyway? I love heroin! -> proceeds to binge it and resets back to 0.

What exactly is stopping all these people from "binging" on their addiction? If it's willpower, then that's fair, but obviously some people would have more willpower than others, right? I mean, not every heroin addict has managed to break their addiction, so clearly something is amiss, just like not every person who reads TheRedPill changes their life. I hate victim mentality, and I myself refuse to believe I can't overcome my problems, but the fact of the matter is - a lot of people never can, and I'm always curious - what's the reason for that? Is it their environment? Were they not genetically gifted to strive to become better? Could it be argued that some people don't have the drive for self-improvement? And so on.

So - how can you help those who do not have the willpower to stop themselves from binging? Saying "just don't" as far as I'm concerned has never really helped anyone apart from those who already had the willpower not to do it.

[–]Endorsed ContributorKeffirLime2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Everything comes down to you whether there's assistance or not, just ask the family of a drug addict who try and repeatedly help them. It's only when the individual internalizes that they need help that they recover.

Support certainly helps, so if you have friends and family who hold you to certain things then do it. I keep my friends in check with gym, meditation, reading, videogames and they do the same with me.

I mean, not every heroin addict has managed to break their addiction, so clearly something is amiss.

Its about putting together the formula that will give you the best chance of success, not a silver bullet. Building better habits, while cutting back on toxic ones is the most proficient.

how can you help those who do not have the willpower to stop themselves from binging?

You can't, they have to have the willpower. Until they muster up the willpower they'll relapse over and over even. They have to want to help themselves.

[–]moltenw[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

You can't, they have to have the willpower. Until they muster up the willpower they'll relapse over and over even. They have to want to help themselves.

But in the cases where they SAY that they want to help themselves, yet the actions never make up for the words - what do you do with these? Are all people without willpower lost causes? And what if you don't have the willpower, how do you gain it without having the willpower to want to gain willpower?

That's essentially the paradox I'm trying to understand.

However, your points definitely are helpful. Maybe there's no need to complicate things - just work each day on trying to build better habits, and reduce the ones that aren't good for you. Simple enough in theory, at least.

[–]Endorsed ContributorKeffirLime2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

They're lost causes for the most part, but I think when those people hit rock bottom and are faced with life or death, they make a choice. Some die, some live.

Most people don't need to get to that point, they've got a strong enough willpower to get it done without it.

how do you gain it without having the willpower to want to gain willpower?

You need to on a biological level want it more than you want your addiction.

In your case, just get going and try stick to it. It'll get easier with time.

[–]moltenw[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Fair enough.

Thanks.

[–]Lord-Talon0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's pretty easy actually, you just overcomplicated it hard af.

Let's say you play video games 8h a day. Going down 1h every 2 weeks will require less willpower, than going down 8 hours day 1.

It's not a magic formula that works for everyone, it's just an easier way to quit a habit than cold Turkey. You still need willpower tough. Stop trying to overcomplicate this stuff.

[–]flapjacksrbetter 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

Sounds like u read the slight edge

[–]Endorsed ContributorKeffirLime0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I haven't yet, but I intend to. I've heard good things about.

[–]raging_mongoose2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Nobody is productive 100% of the time, we all need downtimes, there's a big gap between jerking off 6 times a dayand watching youtube the whole night and simply playing a game for a couple hours after you worked hard all day and lifted.

Find something you love doing and do it just for an hour each day after you did all you had to do for starters once you have that thing settled its easier to cut the things that you do too much / shouldnt do.

[–]moltenw[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Fair enough.

But can't you be "unproductive" without easy dopamine? Instead of working all day, doing an activity for an hour and then turning to video games, couldn't you be instead turning to something that's not easy dopamine?

[–]Razzoz60 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Yes you could and if you do or not separates the best from the average

[–]moltenw[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

That's what I think as well.

How do I trust so many of the commenters here when realistically almost none of them strive to achieve greatness or max efficiency?

[–]Razzoz60 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You can only trust yourself the most and I've a tip that I often use. Sometimes when doing stupid shit or wasting time I ask myself: would the best version of me do this?

[–]paul_ernst2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I'd say the key is not to avoid dopamine, but to carefully choose its sources. Playing video games is fun at first but quickly turns your mind cloudy and tired. Eating french fries tastes good at first but makes you feel like shit afterwards.

The problem to 'good dopamine' is that it only becomes available from a hobby when you grow competent in it. Learning to play a guitar was almost impossible to do after working hours for me as it costs so much energy and concentration to learn something new. But once I became an adequate player, I felt a transition, as where i longed to pick it up after work, as it calmed me down and now clears my mind, provides space to think. The soft kicks of dopamine are so much more controlled, not combined with other nasty effects. To me it was pretty much like discovering a new sense of being and controlling my state of mind in such an indirect, soothing way.

On the note of finding a passion / hobby: I believe we all are attracted to certain hobbies from our childhood onwards. Most people just don't dare to admit it, act upon it, or believe it's possible. In any case, those are just practical issues. Make a small list of some random shit you may wanna give a shot. And remember you'll need to spend time on learning it, preferably somewhere in the weekend and not after work

[–]moltenw[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'd say the key is not to avoid dopamine, but to carefully choose its sources. Playing video games is fun at first but quickly turns your mind cloudy and tired. Eating french fries tastes good at first but makes you feel like shit afterwards.

Of course. I never said to get rid of dopamine, I said of "easy" dopamine (like you mentioned - fast food, video games etc). That's what the post is about, maybe you missed the "easy" part I guess.

Otherwise I agree.

[–]MoeJartin4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

please research what dopamine actually is

[–]Melanoma_man1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Lift. I leave home at 8am and don’t get back home till 7am. I prepare my evening meal read if alone or have a plate round to deposit my spunk.

[–]moltenw[S] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I do lift, 4+ times a week minimum.

... when do you sleep?

[–]Melanoma_man2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

11am till 7pm

[–]james33741 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I gave up games a long time ago for the same exact reason, and can relate to your concerns. Porn, alcohol, drugs, gambling, buying things- can all be unhealthy sources of "feel good" endorphins when taken to excess.

Exercise, stretching, sports, learning new skills, accomplishing goals can all trigger the brain to release Dopamine. Eating good food (can be healthy food, too). For some, socializing does this too. Sex, too.

[–]moltenw[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yep, that's basically spot on how I feel about this topic.

Especially the "when taken to excess" part. Of course playing a video game or using any of these things in small doses won't hurt you too much, but why are they even neccessary in the first place even in small doses?

[–]james33740 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I just gave up games- but partly because I can have an addictive personality anyway. It's why I don't watch TV.

I needed something pretty intense to stimulate me, so I ended up taking Brazilian Jiu Jitsu for a productive outlet. Training and competition provided the Dopamine I craved. I did some other things too, like skydiving, but it became too expensive at the time.

Whatever your "jits" happens to be- finding something that you can feel passionate about will help with gaming or other cravings.

Wish you luck.

[–]AlphaAbundance1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Its not easy nigga there's a reason only some people go down this path

[–]1Terminal-Psychosis1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Dopamine is not evil. Relax a bit.

Sheesh some people take crap way to far.

What you think is gonna happen, you gonna turn into superman or something?

Get a productive hobby. Enjoy a challenge, productivity, AND a massive dopamine hit every time.

There's no reason to deny a healthy, normal part of life.

[–]moltenw[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I never said Dopamine is bad. EASY dopamine on the other hand...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Willpower. It's a muscle that you have to train just like working out.

[–]baeslick0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Do things that equally entice your serotonergic pathways, it increases your sense of dominance.

Also, focus on good dopamines like exercise and eating healthy, watch productive YouTube videos like lectures.

Dopamine helps orient yourself to rewarding activities, make those things that have a compounding interest.

[–]moltenw[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Fair.

Does the urge to degenerate ever go away though? I've been off of a lot of unhealthy habbits, but I still get urged from time to time.

[–]baeslick0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It gets replaced by your ability to handle them, as well as the ability to create more lasting and better habits. You might also want to do some reflecting as to why you have this urge to degenerate, it's a natural tendency but there is an origin and it's okay to have those feelings.

[–]red_matrix0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You need to build stronger habits if you want to break your existing habits (which are very powerful). Try reading Atomic Habits by James Clear, but only read this if you’re willing to make an effort to change.

[–]yes_kid0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Try painting warhammer.

[–]shitinhermouth230 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Don't go cold turkey

[–]beyonderdabas0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Practice persistence someehere u gotta start . Thinking about long term Getting comfortable in uncomfortable

[–]justnicepersonhater0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

i get dopamine from work because i work in the field i love

[–]moltenw[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Happy for you. The more I breathe, the more I feel like having a passion / field you truly love is the most important thing in life. I have none, and I'm stuck in endless mediocrity, always reverting to bad habits & easy dopamine because I haven't found anything that gives me that spark.

[–]someonesopinion6969-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

well done at being productive but everyone needs to let off some steam....bennett

set goals, don't jerk off, reward yourself with your faggy games for a small period. avoid relying on the computerfor your only source of pleasure ie social media/dating sites/porn/game.

start reading some books, workout, go for a walk, write about your shitty existence before you decided to stop being a dweeb.

write a song idk. there's plenty of posts on dopamine, how about read about them and get your kicks

excessive sperging to nothing at all. no wonder you don't feel 'sane' also how about get rid of your internet connection too? dopamine is produced through all these replies you get through your inbox.

stop using the internet, live your life.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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