TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

106

I don’t drink and I’ve had all these experiences. Friends are inviting me too do things and when I tell them I don’t drink it’s almost like I said “no”. I’ve had girls lose Interest over the fact I don’t drink.

Then when ppl ask “why” I I always have lie because I don’t want to tell them the real reason. Because saying “it just isn’t for me” seems to make people think I was a alcoholic in a last life when in reality I’ve probably drink less then 20 times in my life and 15 of those have been a bad experiences.


[–]0io-184 points185 points  (13 children) | Copy Link

Just go to the same bars or parties or whatever and don't drink alcohol. You can tell the bartender you're the designated driver and tip him a few bucks. He'll be happy to let you drink water for free all night. Get the same cups or glasses or whatever everyone is drinking from and fill it with water. You don't have to tell anybody you aren't drinking tonight. You also don't have to tell them you never drink. If somebody is actually trying to hand you a bottle of whiskey or something and pour it down your throat you can always make an excuse if you want to (training for triathlon, high on 'shrooms, have to meet parole officer tomorrow, God told you he doesn't like it, will get kicked off the list for a liver transplant, still hungover from last night, swore to your Dad that you wouldn't after big brother drank himself to death, can't fly the jet tomorrow if you test positive...) Nobody really cares. Just don't call any attention to it.

[–]Helmet_Icicle58 points59 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

you can always make an excuse if you want to

No. Enforce your boundaries.

[–]Aidsagain41 points42 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Dude...a good number of your excuses listed are reasons to drink.

[–]L0neWolfAlpha15 points16 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Drinking and shrooms is probably the worst combination

[–]mcbeavy2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Shrooms very spiritual, nothing to use for a part imo.

[–]nateydanger20 points21 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

I have 2.5 years sober and still go out to bars and situations where alcohol is served. Nobody ever asks about it I never make a big deal of it. Even if someone does ask I just flat out tell them I dont drink. It gives you a leg up on everyone there because you arent sloppy drunk trying to pitch game to everyone there. Plus women think sobriety is sexy. Trust me.

If bars arent your scene there are plenty of other events going on. You can meet women almost anywhere provided your energy is correct. Find a hobby and dive into it. Dungeons and Dragons has been it for me. I go to local comic book shops for supplies and meet people and make friends that way, then go to conventions and nerd events and meet more people..

[–]0io-2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree with this. Being sober around people who are drinking is game on easy mode. Who's more likely to pull the hot girl? The guy slobbering and slurring "I thhhhink youoooo're hawt" or the player who brought his A game?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

“Nobody really cares. Just don’t call any attention to it.” . It sounds like a lot of people near OP do care. Also the excuses that you provided in parens are horrible, except for maybe one or two.

[–]blacwidonsfw2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Have you been to a bar not drunk? It sucks

[–][deleted] 64 points65 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

At bars. I drink water.

[–]Crailberry21 points22 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

You know, a bar offers all kinds of things other than alcohol. Women. Nacho Grande platters. The fellowship of some fascinating individuals.

[–]MysteriousNomad0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Fucking DEATHPROOF!! I love it sir lolol

[–]livear5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Man who drinks water, never goes thirsty. ;)

[–]McNeg4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Confucius say

[–]lampshade28181 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Seltzer with a splash of cranberry is great too.

[–]andrazte0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Bars at my area have way expensive H^2O

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

QQ then just play bar games and dont drink at all.

[–]BarbedAndWired31 points32 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Props to everybody who can have a social live without drinking. As a 26 YO redpill convert, i realize drinking has become a social crutch that has no ultimate benefit. Thanks to all who can lead by example!

[–]Haste-4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I have a few friends that i would consider alcoholics, and its like they can’t even enjoy life without being tipsy. Its depressing as fuck. On top if we ever want to hang out at my parents house (of which are very religious) they go to insane ends to hide alcohol from my parents.

[–][deleted][S] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I’m saying man. I got friends I don’t even talk to anymore for that reason. When we were kids we’d shoot hoops, run around, and just talk. Now they can’t even go a weekend without drinking. It’s sad. Deep down I feel they don’t have much fulfillment in their lives.

[–]Haste-0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Same man, its annoying as hell. I’ll get together 8-10 friends just to hang out and swim and game out at my parents place (they are well off, where myself not so much). 1-2 of them will always without fail say “can i bring drinks” or something of the sort. Its like bro, do you not understand my parents? Weve been friends for 5+ years and you have to even ask

[–]rugged7927 points28 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

Order a Coke.

[–][deleted][S] 12 points13 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

I’ve done that before. I don’t have problem hanging with my closest friends at bars because I genuinely enjoy them as people. Although I find if I’m going out with large groups, or new friends my not drinking turns them off. Most likely do to the point drunk people really annoy me. Which clearly would give off the vibe I’m not having a good time which is kinda true.

Also gaming drunk women is also annoying to me because the basic bitch just leaks threw them and when “I’m” sober drunk women are almost always a turn off.

I have cool hobbies and friends within those hobbies but going out and doing things with those friends outside of the hobby is becoming a struggle.

[–]rugged7915 points16 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

"the basic bitch just leaks threw them..."

This is a blessing. You can see their hamster wheel when they're drunk. But it's actually pretty easy to game drunk women. For tipsy women, you just tweak your game to be looser.

If they're sloppy drunk you don't want them anyways as you'll be playing babysitter while they puke their guts out.

[–]ihateyouguys2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

How do you tweak your game to be “looser”?

[–][deleted][S] 5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I think what he means is you can get away with more. Drunk guys get away with saying some of the most outrageous shit you’d never say sober. But since we’re sober maybe we can throw out a more risky line we wouldn’t normally say.

[–]rugged798 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yup.

It's up to you to see what works best. Normally a girl at the bar isn't really thinking. When she's drunk she REALLY isn't thinking. Tweak your game and find out what works.

Try being a bit louder, or saying things a bit riskier. If they happen to say something cool, let them know it and then say "gimme a hug". Or if you meet a group of tipsy chicks after introductions you can try clapping your hands twice and saying "bring it in". This usually gets the group hug.

Don't spread this shit around though. Use it but you don't want dudes at your hangouts besides your friends all copying your moves.

Also, don't take TRP for granted. I sometimes wander into the relationship Reddit and dudes there are just straight miserable.

[–]xddm26533 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You can kino immediately

[–]MisterMarbles19882 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Although I find if I’m going out with large groups, or new friends my not drinking turns them off

I was rolling with a new crowd of guys in Atlantic City one night. We were all striking out with girls and one of the guys was legit upset at me and said "we're not getting any pussy because this guy is drinking water over here" lmao

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I came from a family of alcoholics. I've seen the expensive consequences that comes with it in your aging years, just like any other form of drug abuse.

[–][deleted] 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

I have as well. I’m not a fan of alcohol/drugs they’ve had exponentially negative impact on my life.

[–]fds_16 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Well then just say that. Tell people you swore to never drink after you saw what it did to your family

[–]CHIPPENDALESIXNINE18 points19 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I used to think alcohol increased my ability to socialize. As I got older I realized no matter how social awkward or shy I thought I was, I had more ladies initiating conversations and holding them with me more often than when I was drinking. Then I had a few experiences where I thought I was too drunk to talk to girls who would try and dance with me or whatnot.

Now I pretty much avoid drinking, drink a single beer or two, or don't go out at all. Idk about other people here but I think they view you as more parental when you're not drunk. You appear more intelligent and collected than the majority of people at the bar. Probably more mysterious too since they wonder why you're at the bar with everyone and just enjoying the company instead of drinking.

[–]BajaGhia19 points20 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Seltzer water / club soda with a lime. Looks like a G&T. Just don't forget your having a good time!

[–]lauris65211 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I just say the truth. Alcohol doesnt make me happy anymore. I dont enjoy being drunk. Thats not how you love ant take care of your body.

[–]epic_mogie58 points59 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

I’ve always just said to people that I don’t need it to enjoy myself. A lot of people use it as masks to hide underlying issues, generally with anxiety. I would rather tackle the issue and learn to be that way whilst sober than to mask it temporarily.

[–]An_Actual_Politician52 points53 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

That's kinda passive aggressive. Can't imagine you're winning many friends with backhanded comments like that but maybe I'm wrong.

[–]fds_140 points41 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Everything he said was the truth but I also agree with you, if you tell this to people faces they'll get offended.

[–]james337417 points18 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I don't think you completely understand the definition of passive aggressive. More uncomfortably honest in a society dominated by fickle pretenders. This is one reason men won't find their potential. Truth is not negotiable.

[–]Soliquidsnake4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The message itself is solid and sound. Saying it to someone who is offering you a drink is like saying "I work through my problems instead of drinking them away like you may be". This is a sure way to not have any friends or get shut down on the spot. Men's potential comes from adapting to our surrounding situation and doing as much as we can with what we are given and then more to come out on top. We wont do this with those types of stone cold truths being that upfront as true as it is.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It’s entirely backhanded, although most people are civil enough to smile and nod their head even though they are going to be thinking “geez, what an ass hat. So I’m the one with the issue? Ok...”

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

It’s not passive aggressive unless he is trying to hurt others with it. But from what I gathered he is just expressing his opinion. Now a lot of people will be pissed off hearing that, but that’s their problem.

[–]usegao0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

its kind of like going to a pizza party and and turning down pizza by saying, "No thanks I don't have to fill my stomach with trash to have a fulfilling life." they might think, "then why the fuck did you come to a pizza party, pizza hater?"

[–]epic_mogie1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You’d be surprised about how understanding people can be with this response. I’ve never been given any backlash or offence from it, and i’ve been saying it close to a year. It’s just my truthful opinion and nothing more. Some people feel left out when they don’t drink and I just believe that it doesn’t necessarily have to be that way, you know?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

“ I don’t need it to enjoy myself..” With that, you just thumbed your nose at everybody you’re talking to. That excuse comes with a face slap. I would not underestimate that most people appreciate that response. It’s rather judgmental.

[–]ProFriendZoner5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

If you need to have alcohol to be social you might want to check yourself into rehab. And NO woman is going to lose interest because you don't drink.

[–]pridebrah19 points20 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

I just say I never developed the taste for it and laugh it off. People are usually a bit confused at first but I've never lost any friends or women over it. I've had a couple chicks stop drinking themselves while they were with me because I preferred not to have the added drama of alcohol in my life.

I've loosened up a little over the years, though. If a buddy buys me a beer and it's already paid for I'll tip one back to be polite.

[–][deleted][S] 3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

How do you keep interest going in a relationship not drinking ?

[–]pridebrah13 points14 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

The last LTR i had was actually my longest and the girl was into drinking but stopped for the majority of it just because I didn't prefer to drink. She followed my lead. We would actually go to clubs and parties a lot too and just have a good time sober.

Your question is interesting because I've actually never thought about it in depth. I just aimed to be fun with her and have fun experiences sans alcohol. I think in a way she respected my stance on it and my ability to not fold in the face of peer pressure.

[–][deleted][S] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

That’s interesting. I might try and game a girl who drinks a lot and see what I can do. Tbh I’ve been avoiding “party girls” just for the sake I don’t want to go out with them. Just not what I’m in too. By based of what you posted if I’m interesting enough (which I am) and bring enough value (which I bring) possibly the women will evolve around my lifestyle.

[–]pridebrah6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah it's worth a shot, just hold frame if alcohol is a boundary for you or make it known that you won't tolerate a party girl.

The thing is, someone who is a drinker will eventually want to drink again. My girl eventually started asking if I was ok with her having a glass of wine with her sister or friends etc. I told her she can do what she wants, but I do not want the drama of a party girl or drunk in my life. She would have a glass or two here and there, but kept it low key otherwise. I believe it can generally be a slippery slope with a lot of men and women, though. Beware of that if expecting to reform someone.

[–]chasethebanks4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I’m curious about this too.

[–]RedSkeller5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I love the circle jerk posts that get started here, everyone gets going in one direction and it deviates from reality entirely. Fuck drinking man, I get waters. Yeah man, water gets pussy. Name the last time you were at a party and some guy rolled up to a girl drinking a ginger ale and pulled ass. Or you're playing beer pong and the guy who isn't drinking gets a high five for an amazing shot. As long as you don't draw attention to it you're fine. Parties and bars attract party types, and if you're outed, you're the weirdo. So either get good at brushing off shit tests and be fun sober, or get out of the bar scene.

Women are incredibly shallow, they're constantly looking for a trade up. To deny this aspect of reality negates any basis for good advice. We're talking about party girls who want you to drink hard liquor while they sip bud lights or spiked sparkling waters, handle it well enough to fuck them hard after you both chief cig after cig. To them it's a turn on, live for today and die tomorrow. To say people don't notice or don't care might be true for the guys there, but women care AND notice. That's how it is.

I think avoiding alcohol is a good thing, and I've seen it destroy and keep eating away at friends I know, and they are weak for it. At the same time I can't say it's going to do anything but hurt you in these environments until you develop bullet proof frame and unwitting DGAF attitude.

[–]furoshus0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Spot on

[–]Altkolsch10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Order a coke, Diet Coke, ginger ale, water whatever you want. Get a lemon or lime in it. That’s what I do when I want to avoid being questioned.

[–]Jampak_50003 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I been sober for 54 days and it’s the best decision I’ve Made in years.

I think the key is frame. If I’m genuine about my reasons for not drinking, I get less shit tests, and all people buy in to my frame which is ROCK SOLID - nothing to see here move on with your night.

When I’ve tried not to drink previously and people have persuaded me or pressured me , it’s because my frame was weak.

I still go out, women are intrigued, but not that much. I make friends everywhere because I have a great personality; interesting, make people feel good, funny. That’s all me, alcohol ain’t got a vote around here no more.

[–]Idris0073 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I’ve cut down my drinking since I’ve started lifting again and usually order a lemonade with a couples slice of lemon and garnish. I used to be a Gin drinker so, this helps me to blend in and remain sober at times.

[–]BlackMarmoset3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I never drink, and it's one of the things I'm known for among friends and co-workers. I always get shit tested anytime I'm out, but I simply don't care.

When my friends take beer or wine, I just take hot or cold tea and very rarely alcohol free drinks, same when I'm out with girls. Usually my go-to line is:

"Omg, you don't drink?"

"It's what real men drink"

"lol, they drink hot tea...?"

"They drink whatever the fuck they want" smirking

Just don't make a big deal of it, I answer to jokes and I often joke about it myself with waitresses, lines as "if I'd drink girls would take advantage of me" or "I'm already charming enough sober" are also something I use often when questioned.

[–]lampshade2818-3 points-2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I appreciate where you are going, but there is no way that exchange has ever happened in the wild.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

couple things I have found work over the last couple decades —

  1. Hold a water.

  2. Hold that water closer to stomach level, not chest level - makes you look more secure.

  3. Try to match the vibe in the room, at least be upbeat and friendly.

  4. Don’t go out of your way to mention to anyone that you’re holding water.

  5. If someone asks what you’re drinking, say “Water right now. You?” after they tell you, either comment on their drink or ask them if they have tried XYZ, and casually note why you like drink XYZ. You’ve closed the social gap.

  6. If a dude asks you point blank if you drink, they are already one step ahead of you and they’re trying to suss you out in front of the group; that’s not a normal question someone would be interested in; it’s an AMOG move; just remain friendly and you may win the group over and the AMOG as well “Not usually, what do you recommend? Thanks I’ll keep that in mind.”

[–]450k_crackparty 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

Best advice here, especially #3.

Drunk people are annoying to sober people. It's a fact. No one wants to talk to judgey sober person. OP, if you want to hang in the bar with your friends till 2am, you basically have to be the biggest extrovert there is (and it;s obvious from your other posts that you aren't, and you are judging them).

If you must go to the bar, enjoy yourself, enjoy your friends' company, meet as many new people as possible, get #s whatever. But peace out the second you stop having fun, because others sense this immediately. In other words, if you can't match the vibe of the room, you shouldn't be there.

The reality is that without booze you will miss the drunken hookup culture of college. Which is fine, but you need to accept this. Find new friends. Find other ways to meet girls. Find other shit to do on Friday night. Don't worry, not drinking gets much easier. When you get past college, parties and get-togethers are more chill, you go to normal bars where people don't puke all over the bathroom.

Alternatively, and I don't see this advice anywhere in this thread: give booze a chance. I am not advocating binge drinking. But it turns out alcohol's reputation as a social lubricant is proven since basically the dawn of man. It is ingrained in our culture. It's also delicious should you acquire a taste. Millions have devoted their lives to the creation and tasting of various alcohols (often without ever getting 'hammered').

In my 30s now and often go to work events and house parties with very mixed age crowds. Sometimes they are boring, sometimes they are amazing. And often, the great ones involve alcohol and food. Depending on phisiology, anywhere from 1-5 drinks over the course of a night can give people a little less inhibition, makes them chatty, makes them more likely to laugh, makes them more honest or at least forthcoming when telling a funny story, and last but not least, can make people horny.

Turns out you can nurse a beer for about an hour. 3-4 beers over 3-4 hours and you will have an ever-so-slight buzz, look the part, and wake up feeling fresh.

[–]trpppp1231 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I have to agree with this advice. I avoided drinking alcohol completely (until I was near 25) for the longest time because of a somewhat religious upbringing. Although I don't regret or anything, I do think I missed out on a lot of fun experiences and probably a lot of girls.

I think going to places like bars and clubs, which are places to drink, it does come off as a bit odd when you're sober. But the real problem is that usually when sober, you won't be able to match the energy/vibe of the room. If you can, then more power to you, but I definitely couldn't and I was often annoyed by drunk people while sober.

Don't get piss drunk, but a few drinks to get a buzz or tipsy, get yourself in a good state definitely helps. Or find something to do friday night that isn't a bar/club.

[–]Saulyboy1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

6 could backfire if they insist on buying you a round of their recommend

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

“Thanks. Just water for now.”

But I agree that’s a curve ball.

[–]Lest232 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I used to drink at parties but I stopped because it made me act like an ass and usually worsened my night. Also it’s expensive.

I tell them I don’t drink because I like to stay sober, which is the truth. No one really asks any questions after that.

As far as going out, I go out but more rarely. Clubs are fun, but not as fun as I imagine it would be if drunk with your friends.

As far as women, if they’re sober, you’re on an even playing field, if they’re drunk, you have a great advantage in holding frame.

[–][deleted][S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Same, the last time I drink alcohol excessively I found out I did some things I wasn’t proud of. Called people bad names, tried to fight people, etc. I don’t want to be that man or give out that energy. So I stopped.

[–]RandomNoLife2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

A lot of times if you order a coke and tell the bartender you don’t drink, they’ll add some color to it or use a glass with color to make it look like a real drink. I never ask for it but they do it quite a bit. One girl added an umbrella one time. Probably didn’t help my case.

[–]Wilson-AOL1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Alchool free beer. Hated it at the beginning, liking it now. Plus, here and there sometimes I get some free ones from female bartenders, not much from dudes.

To be honest, I do not know why but I'll take it.

[–]SICFJC1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I haven’t drank in a year and a half and have been wondering this.

[–]Soliquidsnake1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is a tough one. I liked what one reply to a comment said on here. "Enforce your boundaries". Basically own it, be confident that you do not drink and be proud. However, it can and most likely will have an effect on those around you/who you want around you. Some people will make your choice of not drinking and turn it around. They will put in their minds that you think you are better than them for not drinking and their insecurities will surface. "Oh so you think you're better than me?" is something I have heard a lot. Could be an offhanded joke, but it's deeper. This is a huge ball buster if you're trying to pick up women.

One thing I advice to say is just "I don't like it" with conviction. Not snarky or passive aggressive or even jokingly. Take yourself serious about it and other will too. Some people like room temperature apple juice and some don't. Just the way it is. Aside from this, get ready for some weird looks, it's going to happen. As long as you still have your confidence and don't give a flying pig what people think, you stand to win more than lose.

[–]1XXXMersenne1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Stoped drinking fall 2017.

Spent Dec 17 - Nov 18 going out 4 - 7 nights a week; usually 6. Went solo so brutal beginnings; Peaceful endings.

Social acuity through the roof, You see everything: conditioning, twitches, patterns, truth, lies. Always several steps ahead in time, change course for desired outcome.

I’ve had girls lose Interest over the fact I don’t drink.

Only if they see that theirs and other people's reactions to you matter on the subject; otherwise, whatever. Girls just wanna have fun, and you can in fact be "having so much fun" that people think you're on E.

It's process you have to re-learn. "Become again as little children"

I don’t want to tell them the real reason.

*"It doesn't do anything for me"


Now that I'm good I wear it as a badge of honour. Whereas before I would've lied and prevaricated and rationalised, now that my social skills are very well rounded out I often can't wait for envious chodes & chicks I'm successfully gaming to ask about the clear, inert looking liquid in my glass is. "Water."

"Whatyoudontdrink?!" (aka how can you be this centred, grounded, confident and unreactive... sober???")

[–]furoshus0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

All true

[–]zboo1h1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

When you really have lost the interest to get drunk or drink, it isn't even something you notice. You go where you go and do what you do and everything is the exact same, you just have an extra $80 in your checking account the next morning and you don't skip the gym on the weekends anymore.

[–]Caplock121 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Very few words of advice: Everything is psychological. In your situation, being at a bar type set. I’d order the seltzer water like the guy above said and pretend it’s a G&T.

Read more

Placebo is some pretty good shit. ✌🏾

[–]MisterMarbles19881 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I have never liked drinking but I always viewed it as a necessary social lubricant, especially for guys trying to get laid. My internal belief was that girls aren't sexual enough to give up pussy unless they're a little loosened up with alcohol.

I started to question that belief the first time I got laid with a stone-cold sober girl. Then it happened again. And again. And I realized that no, you don't need alcohol to get laid. So I stopped drinking almost completely. I don't drink out of some bullshit necessity anymore, but if I genuinely want to share the mood with family or friends.

I still don't like alcohol, but I have a way more healthy relationship with it now.

[–]livear4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I go swing dancing, would recommend if you like jazz at all. Lots of friendly physical contact and light banter with lots of fit women of all ages having fun and relying on you to keep them safe and make them look good.

There's some places with drinking but most here are without. It's basically a tandem cardio workout but in your nice clothes, though learning to lead can be challenging.

[–]vivid_mind1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Why do you want to be around alcoholics? People who drink are pathetic and they just don't exist for me.

[–]sebastianconcept0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

In my case, I use it to make myself more interesting than the rest (also in this aspect). Instead of a mysterious just “no” what I say is, actually I do but I’m extremely selective. If necessary and worthy, I’d be ready to use the card, “I’d love a great wine over dinner, when did you say you’re inviting me?”

So I tell them that I don’t break my diet for no reason or a cheap and easy reason. That gives them something to qualify themselves for you. You just became 1) interesting, 2) a challenge.

And this is actually something literally true in my case because diet and workouts is paying huge dividends which I won’t let to be compromised by any cheap friday night out to have a bit of fun.

I have zero problem being around people drinking and me having coconut water or mineral water. I just have fun with the shit test that they start to throw on me.

[–]jinxedmusic0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I drink tea, coffee or non alcoholic beer when out with friends. Real mates don't judge your life style choices.

[–]Insendi0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don’t drink or smoke, and the people I’ve met all come from my schools MMA studio. Picking up a martial art is the best way to meet new people.

I don’t go out, I’m pretty kept to myself but friends describe me to be a social butterfly

Women act differently toward me cause I’m short Indian and have braces but idgaf I present myself as 6 4” Chad Patel with a big dick

[–]light-----------dark0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I drink coffee and connect with whoever is there.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

If you lift or you look like you lift, just tell people it's not on your diet/clean bulk/cutting.

[–]FinancialElephant0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sometimes it's like guys are looking for reasons to be insecure. Dude it's not a big deal. I'd go out and get club sodas all the time. I never talk about what I drink or what they're drinking because it's a boring question.

If people want to ask why you aren't drinking you can sidestep the question. Or you can make something up. Or you can say you used to be an alchoholic but you quit. Or you can give the honest reason. It really doesnt matter.

[–]trpppp1230 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I've partied quite a bit in the past few years. I have yet to meet a sober guy at a bar/club who was actually fun to be around during the party. Most times when I meet a sober guy at a bar or club, they're usually in the corner saying nothing.

I get it because I was that guy and honestly, I hate alcohol and the taste of it, but it helps a lot with socializing, and I become a much more fun/high energy person when drunk. Dancing is fun, talking to girls is awesome, and I'm uninhibited. If I could get to that state sober, I would drop drinking alcohol in a heart beat. But I'm in my head by nature, so I stay in my head a lot. Drinking helps.

If you can match the energy in the room, be fun, chatty, without needing it; then you can just get a water with lime in it, and say it's a vodka soda.

[–]Lukap295 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

You don't have to drink. Just smoke weed.

[–]trp282873 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Not everyone enjoys weed tho. Also everyone I know who smokes weed is beta af while they’re high

[–]IRunYourRiver0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Just tell people you're pregnant.

[–]dutchgguy-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You better have a good reason to, cause all the people that I know that don't drink are socially awkward or just aren't able to normally have a drink. Reading a few answers here only confirms my observations.

[–]trp28287-3 points-2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Alcohol is fucking stupid, it makes you feel slightly better and increases the likelihood of doing embarrassing stuff by a lot. Also it makes you dehydrated

Take stimulants instead, like coke or speed. You’ll have tons of energy and want to talk to every hot woman you see, without even being able to overthink stuff because you’ll have approached her before you can even think about anything. Sometimes dumb stuff will come out of your mouth because you’ll act on impulse, but it’s not nearly as bad as with alcohol

(Never do hard drugs more often than once every two weeks tho, unless you have a very good reason like being on vacation. You’ll get addicted if you do it too often, plus they won’t be nearly as enjoyable anyways if you take them regularly)

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I liked your first paragraph. I think your second paragraph is bad advice. And the third paragraph I think is risky.

Imo avoid anything that ruins your health or can possibly harm you and/or others. Hard drugs are too risky to play with once in a while. For some, once in a while can turn into an addiction quick.

[–][deleted][S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yea, im not a fan of drugs all together. Although I do see where he was going with it. I do like getting jacked up on pre workouts and doing stuff. I’m the type of guy if they did coke they’d love it. Which is why I don’t do coke that’s not a habit I ever want to start.

[–]trp282870 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, you definitely need self control. I have lots of cravings for a few days after I take drugs (I used to have the same cravings for alcohol) but I don’t take them anyways.

If you don’t have good self control then just don’t take those drugs. You don’t miss out on that much, stims are good for having a fun day but nothing more

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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