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[FR] Shut your whore mouthField Report (self.askMRP)

submitted by red-sfpplus

Yep, even your Daddy has his moments.

Friday was National Margarita day. Who knew? Not this guy who is currently blasting his ass off and avoiding booze for the moment.

But Mandy knew, and whatever she is a big girl and I love me some Fajitas.

Previous sexual partners was the topic. In hind sight I suspect my girl was needing some comfort, and I missed the mark on this one.

About 3 margs in I start getting pepper sprayed with questions about my "man whore" days, who I have fucked, where, when - in far more detail and pressure than ever before.

AA was not going to fucking get the job done. I tried everything in the book, it was all a failure.

Eventually, the Captain gave in and lost frame:

"I don't remember how many women I have fucked, but I can tell you that you don't get this good by watching porn and jacking off. All you need to worry about is making sure you remain the only one I want to fuck"

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Yep, I really just said that as I watch her eyes start to water up and nothing but silence....

God fucking damn it son.

So I did the only reasonable thing, I got up and went to the bathroom.

Ever hear a juiced up faggot talking to himself while taking a piss and cussing himself out? Well it is pretty sad.

I head back to the table, with my DNGAF meter turned up. Not going to dwell on it. My RP awareness coming back. Move the topic of discussion on.

Nope, I sat down and she baited me again.

"You know Red, I think it is kinda shitty that you have had sex with other women while you are still married."

"Does that include you, cause last I checked we fuck like rabbits"

"No, I am different, we didn't meet until after she moved out."

"Oh, ok so the rules don't apply to you then, I see you are special. Check."

At this point, I know exactly what she is doing. For the first time IN MY LIFE I am baiting a woman into an argument. All that shit I have talked about not purposefully giving your woman NEGATIVE FEELZ, AND HERE I AM DOING IT.

And doing it like a boss.

"I am not having sex with you tonight"

"OK, well I am going to finish my fajitas and head over to the bar to find someone to fuck tonight since you are passing on the opportunity" - WITH A HUGE SHIT GRIN ON MY FACE

Two seconds later she is kissing me, and yeah we fucked when we got home.

That was Friday night. Saturday we lifted together and chilled.

Today as we were eating she says:

"You know when you got riled up Friday night, you went straight for the jugular vein. It really bothered me at the time, but it was kinda hot at the same time. You said exactly what you felt. That would have been a weekend long argument with my ex"

"Me to, fighting sucks. I'll try not to rip your jugular vein out again in the future when you pick a fight with me"

With a kiss on the forehead and a shit eating grin.

Lessons learned:

If you are going to break frame - BREAK FUCKING FRAME LIKE A BOSS. Maybe this is what Rian, BPP and WSS talk about when they speak of manufactured drama?

Maybe manufactured drama should be re-coined to "gracefully breaking ones frame on purpose?"

But I didn't break it on purpose or gracefully. I got fed up with shit talk from a teenager, and I shut it down hard.

So hard, so hard...

Anyway, flame away faggots.

Nothing brings me more joy that y'all learning at my expense.

I blame the Tren.


[–]FereallyRedHard Core Red18 points19 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Tingly.

Keep poking that tiger with a stick, and eventually he's going to swat your stupid ass. Then go back to being a mellow tiger.

The manufactured feels technique only works if you have achieved the mellow tiger vibe already.

A tiger who is always losing his shit and biting everybody, not a cool tiger. They end up in chains in a cage.

A tiger who just lets anybody poke him incessantly is not a cool tiger. They end up in a zoo, in a cage as well.

Alpha men have passion... When I talk about my cars or my bikes I'm told my eyes light up, I become 13 years old again...over and over women have mentioned that it's this range of behavior that's exciting...I'm usually Mr mellow until something interesting.

Manson's Models talks about vulnerability as a strength...

"When most men hear the word “vulnerability,” their immediate reaction is to associate it with weakness. In general, men are raised to withhold their emotions, to not show weakness, and to ignore any hint of introspection. On top of that, most of the popular dating advice out there encourages guys to be aloof, stand-offish, judgmental and at times scathing towards women."

"For instance, making yourself vulnerable doesn’t just mean being willing to share your fears or insecurities. It can mean putting yourself in a position where you can be rejected, saying a joke that may not be funny, asserting an opinion that may offend others, joining a table of people you don’t know, telling a woman that you like her and want to date her. All of these things require you to stick your neck out on the line emotionally in some way. You’re making yourself vulnerable when you do them. In this way, vulnerability represents a form of power, a deep and subtle form of power. A man who’s able to make himself vulnerable is saying to the world, “I don’t care what you think of me;this is who I am, and I am OK with it.” He’s saying he has True Confidence and that he’s high status."

"He’s unafraid to express his emotions, even if that means he gets rejected because of them sometimes."

You gave her ass a swat, tiger. Then went back to your nonswatting baseline. As a tiger. Women don't want overgrown neutered cats, they like tigers, and a big part of that is the unspoken knowledge that getting swatted is a possibility. And a lot of them will poke you until you swat them.

Passion and boundaries and enough vulnerability. Balancing the scales, everyday.

You did fine. Especially you on tren and her on a margarita stack.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Nice recap brother thanks.

Upvote for “margarita stack” lol

[–]donmcde11 points12 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

That's the one thing I disagree with RP philosophy on. The whole remaining stoic and never losing your cool shit. If she keeps pushing an issue, after you've tried 'everything in the book' to change topics or defusing the issue, I find going from 0 to 100 shuts that shit down real fucking quick.

Though, come to think of it, it's kind of an extreme version of AA, since they're getting just what they want (you having the conversation they want) but they're getting more truth than they bargain for.

[–]Reach180Red Beret7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The whole remaining stoic and never losing your cool shit.

Being in control is not the same as flat-lining. It's important that you are in control of your emotions. Use them as you wish - which includes the ability to wield them.

"Remaining stoic" here is for guys who can't help but puke out their feelings as soon as something upsets them. Emotionally reacting without being conscious of it.

First, guys need to be aware. Next they can be in control.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red[S] 4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

All you need to worry about is making sure you remain the only one I want to fuck

This is the one part that makes me cringe.

Stated from a position of power, she gets the point.

Stated from a position of weakness (butt hurt) this could come across as giving her validation. It also somewhat implies she has power over sex.

Its is a fine line.

One I would say I navigated better than the Titanic did, but still.....

Had she not had 3 margs in her buy then, I could see her seeing that comment from a position of butthurt.

[–]TaipanshimshonRed Beret6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

That “position of power” rests on her perception. Don’t worry if you beta out at some point she will remember this conversation negatively

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Aint that the fucking truth.

[–]NMMNG_10 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Perhaps we see stoicism from a different perspective. The concept of stoicism in its simplest form is to let go of the things that are not under your control (outcome independence, squarely MRP), and not wasting energy on futility but on improving yourself (building Frame, the bases of MRP).

[–]TaipanshimshonRed Beret4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Nothing let’s you know your place in her world like an “argument” like this.

Told one girl what her name is in my phone. Something like “cock sheath “. Hi baby!

Not a blink at the time and never stopped asking for the d until much later.

Point being. Owning your shit is kinda sexy. At least that’s how my experience leans

[–]SteelSharpensSteelMod / Red Beret3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

This reminds me of that post on concentrated anger. Be stoic, but if you have to be angry, bring it out to 100 and leash it back under control.

You did fine. All depends on who cares the least in the relationship. She bluffed, you held the cards, she folded.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Fuck, I am in trouble.

She sent me her daily zillow digest of homes she gets emailed on.

First it was I was bad I fucked other women while married, but hey going to send you some homes in the area knowing fully well you are still married.

Bitches dont care. They move in hard for the lockdown.

[–]weakandsensitive1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Think about it this way - she loves the fact you have choice.

[–]j_arbuckle20120 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I am always surprised at how dedicated women are when locking down their individual source of Treasure Trove O.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I like the honesty of this post. Have an upvote.

I manufacturer drama sometimes, but it has to be done when you’re not really pissed. Typically, I’ll use this technique when we haven’t argued in a week or so, just so she can get in her drama quota.

OK, well I am going to finish my fajitas and head over to the bar to find someone to fuck tonight since you are passing on the opportunity" - WITH A HUGE SHIT GRIN ON MY FACE Two seconds later she is kissing me, and yeah we fucked when we got home.

This reminds me of the time I was briefly separated from my wife about 9 months ago. I was staying at a hotel for a night or 2 (because she was not normally in town around that time, she was commuting from a different state). When I talked to her on the phone, I told her I was giving her “first dibs” if she wanted to come by the hotel. Holy fuck, she got pissed. The next day when I stopped by the house, she practically tore my clothes off.

Actions speak louder than words

Women love:

A). Drama from a man holding frame

B) competitive anxiety

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Where the fark do people buy tren? The ‘dark web’?

[–]Kpwn882 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

On occasion, a calculated show of anger can energize her hamster. Just make sure you don't go full retard.

[–]light-----------dark1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It honestly doesn’t seem like you lost frame from an objective perspective.

You feel as if you broke frame, however, which is what’s most important - only you know the truth.

In any case, great FR.

[–]man_in_the_worldRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don't think you should regard this as a frame loss.

It is a loss of frame in the LARPing PUA/Dancing Monkey definition in which the goal is to appear cool and in control while never actually risking upsetting her. But in IRL/LTR frame as your personal vision, values, and worldview, to tolerate her insisting that you accept her values over yours is to surrender your frame and adopt hers. In this case you must firmly uphold your values as your boundary, or become her frameless beta. In fact, you held frame by nuking this shit test. As /u/weakandsensitive has already described, in this case you must stop tolerating bullshit, and show controlled anger.


I presume you realize that this episode was part of her campaign to get your commitment to an exclusive LTR as a presumptive move towards marriage. Had you agreed to guilt over sex outside of marriage, she would try to guilt you into exclusivity with her now. When that failed, she tried the standard sex denial tactic. Fail either test, and you're her beta.

[–]BojackSanchez110 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I am keeping this story in my heart.

[–]mrp_awakening0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Nice FR Red, and awesome turn around. There's plenty of comments addressing the turnaround itself, but I did want to address the line you feel cringy about:

All you need to worry about is making sure you remain the only one I want to fuck

In all honesty, you're probably overthinking it. Yeah, it's not the best thing to say, but it wasn't the worst either.

It implies she can't get comfortable, and let things go, and that she actually has to work. In that sense, it reminds me of the whole "fuck me or fuck you" script that BPP and others talk about in a main event.

It puts you as the judge of her, and frames things as her needing to qualify to you to get what she wants.

It does imply monogamy... if you're not there then it may have been a poor choice.

Delivery is paramount though. If it was said calm and relaxed, that would subcommunicate that you're coming from a place of power, and making demands of her if she wants to keep the status quo. If it was said hyped up and angry, that would subcommunicate that you're feeling trapped by her testing, that she can get you upset, and that you're focusing too much on making her happy vs being yourself (lost DGAF frame).

In the end, the fact that you felt it broke your frame was probably worse than the line itself. Given that, you made an awesome turnaround and got your frame back together quickly. It reminds me that I need to keep working, as right now I can only hope to be operating at that level some day.

[–]WolfofAllStreetz0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

red, off topic but as one of my fav posters here I must have missed where you separated with your wife? Last I remember you were having threesomes with the married neighbor?

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I must have missed where you separated

Man, I have been posting about it for nearly a year now....

[–]Aechzen0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You could have also not engaged on the entire process. There's getting enough sexual background to establish relative risk of acquiring an STI / saneness and then the rest should probably be left to mystery.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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