TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

8

How the fuck do I stop being negative. (self.askMRP)

submitted by BurnedRemains

I'm actively having to put effort into not ruining every relationship. Red pill did not do this to me though and this has been me for a long time. I workout like a mad man, I get on my purpose daily, I participate in shit outside of working, but my entire life I just exude negative vibes.

Thinking about it a little more this may be playing into my anxiety. Also I've been Mr. Know-it-all most of my life up until about 2 years ago maybe this is seeping back in.


[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red19 points20 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

People are typically negative/upset/anxiety when expectations do not meet reality.

Adjust expectations.

[–]hack3geRed Beret1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Spot fucking on - he’s LARPing the red pill expecting it to make him happy and when it doesn’t he gets negative. He’s the mayor of covert contractville.

He expects something external to make him happy when the ability to be happy is already there inside him. Shit sounds like some faggot ass line from a Disney movie but it’s true.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando30 points31 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

Look at it this way, if you don't have a micropenis and oneitis for a 250lb landwhale of a wife, life ain't so bad.

[–]suprathepeg1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Pfffft...

[–]jerrymcguiver-2 points-1 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

If 9" is micro, call me Mr. baby dick.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Is that what your wife calls you?

[–]jerrymcguiver0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

She calls me to refill her pizza tray.

[–]coinbaserep0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

If you have to tell us you have a 9” dick. You don’t have a 9” dick

Do you also drive a big monster truck or a red sports car with a v8 ?

The amount of people on the Internet with a 9” dick is extremely high these days

[–]jerrymcguiver0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

We all tell each other our lifts. Too many of us on the internet warm up on bench with 2 plates these days.

I put in the work and got results. Not my problem most guys don't and won't ever know it's possible to gain from PE.

[–]coinbaserep1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I’ve gained in PE as well. Need to stay dedicated. That shit works. I know my wife told me to stop it when I told her I was doing it. She said it was big enough but really is it ever big enough haha

[–]Redpillbrigade174 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Have you tried taking a 30 day break from computer games ?

[–]RPeed5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Aren’t you the guy that works 80 hours a week and doesn’t sleep? And just moved home?

External factors are a thing bro.

[–]BurnedRemains[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Moved away from home but yes that's me.

[–]RPeed3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Have you read the sidebar? Specifically the Rational Male? Still playing video games? Still have an infection tanking your T? Still no Male friends? Still sleeping 5 hours a night? Poor? Overworked?

I think addressing any of those is a good first step.

Other than that, I would add drinking 3 gallons of water a day is retarded and dilute your bodies stores of sodium and potassium which can cause all manner of mental and physical issues.

[–]PersaeusRed Beret5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I treat my dick well ; and my dick treats me well. Stop making it so complicated

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

IDK about you but my dick is sore AF after this weekend.

Giggdy

[–]simbarlionRed Beret3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Negativity can be fear of under performance or avoiding disappointment / disappointing others.

You think / say the worst, and then reality is not so bad, for both you and others.

Answer: be more willing to have fuck ups and own it. Report to yourself not others.

[–]BurnedRemains[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think this is it. I don't have a strong enough OI yet. Much more work to put in. Thanks.

[–]FoxShitNasty834 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You sound exactly like me, now is the time to ask the difficult questions of yourself. Stop expecting the world to change and make you happy. Find out what makes YOU happy find YOUR passion. Give way less fucks, and don't overthink shit we are hard on ourselves and focus on the negatives but don't forget your strengths. When you think about it it's not that hard but staring up at that mountain peak won't get you there. Start walking brother, one step in front of the other.

[–]screechhaterRed Beret4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

We call it STFU.

Seriously.

Adjust your mind to absorb, it’s very easy.

Daily, consciously listen to others. Wiithin a week, then a month your mind will shift.

Stop trying to control everything- Truly sit back and watch the blowee giving you a blow job. Just keep telling that person what a great job, sexy, etc. and, absorb the experience.

Your outlook will change

[–]BurnedRemains[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thank you.

[–]matrixtospartanatLVRed Beret4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

"When you do what you have always done, you will get what you've always got."

"The definition of insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, and expecting a different result."

There is a difference between ignorance and stupidity.

Ignorance is not knowing something and having the capability of learning when confronted with the knowledge of it.

Stupidity is not knowing something and NOT being able to learn it when confronted with the knowledge of it. I would also add, stupidity includes not being WILLING to learn something when that knowledge would help you because it might involve too much work for you.

So, in the vernacular, STOP BEING STUPID.

Seriously, you are fucked up because you choose to be.

You make that choice every time you spend two hours video gaming instead of one hour gaming and one hour reading the MRP sidebar. Have you ever stopped to consider, or even ever wondered, why you are better at video games than your own pathetic, useless life?

Do you ever wonder how you can respawn in real life and level up?

Look at where you invest your time.

You reap what you sow.

"How the fuck do I stop being negative?"

Put down the fucking toys of your youth, pick up the tools of being a man, and become one.

Read the sidebar.

Lift the weights.

And for the love of Reddit, SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH.

You talk too much, and as a result, you read and think too little.

It's all there, in the sidebar, everything you need. But let me put that in perspective for you.

You're looking at about 500 hours of work over the next year lifting and reading. That's the first pass. Unless you are an idiot savant, which I haven't ruled out, you only retain ~7-10% of what you read each time you read it. You will not have a working knowledge of the sidebar until you have read it at least 5 times, and you won't master it until you have read it at least 10-15 times.

You might find the books like "No More Mr Nice Guy" and "When I Say No I Feel Guilty" hit pretty close to home after the second and third pass. And if you tell me that you have ALREADY read both of those after the shit you have posted here, I will call you a lying ass whore, just like my ex-wife, and tell you to GET THE FUCK OUT...just like my ex-wife.

So the choice is yours. You can...

Do what you've always done, act like a child, play with your toys, and whine about your life...

Or..

You can man the fuck up, find out what it is to be a man, and start doing that shit.

That negativity you feel?

That's your glitch in the matrix. It's how you know there is something WRONG.

Now, if you're not interested in the sidebar, reading, asking questions about it, and learning about it, then GET THE FUCK OUT.

The sidebar IS the answer.

MRP is the toughest mountain in all of Reddit Nation. No other sub is as much work as we are. And no other sub produces the results that we do.

So, as previously discussed, it's time for you to...

GET TO FUCKING WORK!

or

GTFO.

[–]BurnedRemains[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I have read those books but evidently I'm shit at putting that knowledge to use. Thank you.

[–]matrixtospartanatLVRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

In general, your life would be considered more important than a college class.

How many classes did you attend where you read the book once, in a week or two, and then took the final exam? And if you did, and passed with a 71, was being low-average, good enough for you?

Is that good enough for life?

Read 10-15 times to LEARN it.

Work is what will lift you from mediocrity to excellence.

It always does...

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Is a relationship what you even want? How are you sabotaging yourself?

Do you want kids?

[–]johneyapocalypseThe one that says "Bad Motherfucker"2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Start paying attention to your behavior all the time. Instead of mindlessly meandering through life, notice your actions, notice your feelings, notice your mood. Notice when you are negative, especially the circumstances, the people involved, and the catalyst for your negativity.

Negativity, cynicism, sarcasm, irritability, and other not-so-pleasant behaviors can be changed - but you must actively work toward changing them - and change starts first and foremost with noticing when, where, and why these behaviors arise.

So...

  1. Notice the unhealthy behavior.
  2. Once you've noticed it, adjust your "state." Simply do something physical (anything really), utter a memorable phrase, sing a verse... anything so that it is more than just "oh, I'm noticing" and instead "oh, I'm noticing, plus doing something alongside to trigger a new set of feelings."
  3. Actively do/think/behave differently.
  4. Consider journaling your findings over time if you think this could be helpful.

This is essentially cognitive behavioral therapy, and it works. Keep doing it each time you notice the negative behavior. Soon, this little exercise will become as rote-like as the negative behavior itself.

Some examples of what I've achieved, using similar techniques:

  1. I said sorry often. So, too, did a colleague. Observing how off-putting it was coming out of his mouth helped me exorcise this weak-willed phrase from my vocabulary. I never say I'm sorry, now, unless it's truly (and very rarely) warranted.
  2. I said "I'm so tired" or "wiped out" or something similar far too often. Granted, I had reason to feel supremely beat up, but it was still gross. Each time I noticed, I simply shut my pie-hole. These days, I don't say it at all.
  3. I routinely said "oh, this hurts" or "oh, I'm in pain" or even "ow" or "ouch." Again, I had lots of super-legit reasons for it, but you know what: it's disgusting, it's irritating, and it sounds awful. I also witnessed this in someone close to me - it was really bad - and that helped me destroy this terrible habit. Like the examples above, I don't utter these phrases at all anymore.

Negativity as a personality trait can be improved, lessened, and even utterly removed from you arsenal of skills. It just takes practice. Like excelling at football. Like learning a language. Like bench pressing 3x your body weight.

Practice, young man, practice.

You can be a positive mother-fucker in six months if you put your mind to it.

p.s. It's worth it. Negative people are obnoxious. Know-it-alls are just as bad. Negative, know-it-alls are about as bad as it gets.

[–]BurnedRemains[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Oh I definitely understand your last sentence 100%. Thank you for the rest as well.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Well, I can get like that if I get too stuck in my head and meditation helps. Simple breath mindfulness meditation. Like amazingly. Just 10 minutes a day.

Also, sitting on the front porch with a drink and cigar and taking stock of the amazing life I have, despite the occasional difficulty and hardships along the way. Or hanging out with friends where we laugh... a lot.

Also out just good fortune (life lottery) or something good I did in a past life earned me not being born in a war zone somewhere in the middle east. I didn't grow up as a child slave somewhere.

I'm also not making iphones at foxconn and contemplating if somehow I can jump around the fail-safe netting designed to keep my body from splatting on the ground.

If I'm hungry I get to drive to the store , in my own truck and buy food. I don't have to worry about bears eating me in my sleep or being bitten by a poisonous snake.

Maybe doing that is some sort of unofficial gratitude prayer or meditation... whatever you call it , that's what I do.

After mulling on all of that... it makes any and all marriage theater a joke.

Also if you can find some way to give back. Fuck even do one of those cheesy pay-it-forward kind of things can lift you. Like hit a drive through, pay for the next person in line and/or drive off.

I fag out and hand make gifts for friends out of wood (wall hanging bottle openers, end tables, cigar box ashtrays) and stow them for birthdays or holidays. Even while making them I feel better. Now even more awesome my kid has started making all sorts of hand crafted clay and felt animals for her friends so I can't help but feel some pride in that I passed on something good that I do.

DO positive and the feelings come along.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

What is your purpose?

Why?

[–]Musicgoon1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I agree with everyone else. What are your goals and passion? Without a purpose, you're going to be frustrated.

[–]Rogue684861 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Lift. Like your life depends on it. Because it does.

The negativity is not real. Deep down you know this. You are co-creating a negative reality because it feels familiar to some.shitty parts of your upbringing.

You're a man now. You are choosing to live this way.

Choose a better path.

[–]0io-Tsundere0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

If your natural vibe is always negative you might be able to make a joke about it. When you find out your friends are going on a cruise ship you can say something like "I've always wanted to go on a cruise but I'm so negative I always think the boat will sink in a hurricane or something." Just make sure the tone is that you're laughing at yourself because you know you're Mr Negative and you don't take it too seriously.

You might also try staying away from news and political topics that always generate outrage and anger.

Try to find more uplifting stuff to be interested in.

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's a decision

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2024. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter