The fallout of saying no

Sepean · 2019-04-08T07:07:53+00:00

Handle it like any shit test.

Look, you can't read a bit of red pill literature and the it is smooth sailing from there.

You have to read it and apply it. You have to actually lift, actually strengthen your frame, actually get your game on point. That takes time and effort, it's a learning process.

And even if you by some miracle knew and did everything right, that's just you being prepared for the fight. You still have to take the fight.

She needs to know you actually have frame, so she'll test you. This is her testing you. And she'll keep on testing you, and she'll test you harder and harder. It's like the test to join special forces, they don't just make you do tough shit for half an hour. They test you for many weeks, to see if you can handle the pressure long term.

So what you can expect (to the degree your frame is actually there), is that her shit testing will get increasingly more hostile, interspersed with short periods of increasingly greater sweetness and submissiveness as you pass tests. She'll go:

I'll bitch a bit harder at him to test if he is a bit more alpha than I thought
he passed, that's hot!
repeat

We see it all the time here, and it throws a lot of guys for a loop. Maybe they expected a smooth ride, but it won't be. It'll be big fights, then seemingly out of nowhere she's sweet and horny. And then you'll think "hey I got this" and when she goes back to shit testing you come here and ask "why did it stop working?" It didn't stop working, it's just the cycle of ever escalating test-harder/reward-for-passing that you'll keep on seeing for months. Until you hit the main event, days of nuclear level shit testing - hold frame through that, she internalizes you're alpha, and things get a lot smoother - permanent submissiveness and only shit testing when you show signs of weakness.

I've been listening to a lot of Patrice who says you should explain a woman's behaviour to her.

If you think you gain anything by pointing out that she is unreasonable, you're wrong. Her being a bitch is a feature, not a bug. The whole idea of it is to see if you have the frame to not be fazed by it, if you're alpha enough to tease the shrieking harpy. She's testing you, not trying to be nice and polite.

[deleted] · 2019-04-08T13:42:34+00:00

explain a woman's behaviour to her. So I told her that these obligations are tyrannical since they force me to either be unhappy fulfilling them or unhappy getting the fallout. This may have been a mistake since she refused to see it that way.

Excuse me motherfucker, did you just say you need to explain things to a woman? Did you think she would see things your way because you used logic?

Have you read anything in the sidebar faggot?

BobbyPeru · 2019-04-08T06:19:50+00:00

I've been listening to a lot of Patrice who says you should explain a woman's behaviour to her. So I told her that these obligations are tyrannical since they force me to either be unhappy fulfilling them or unhappy getting the fallout.

NO. Read the sidebar instead of listening to your own shit? How has making your own program worked out for you so far? Are you having regular sex? Are you lifting? What are you lifts, height, and weight.

You are DEERing here. You’d know that if you read any of the suggested material.

Quit giving so many fucks. The one thing you did right was not go because you didn’t want to. But, then you Deered and negated that even.

Quit being a pussy and living in her frame.

MrChad_Thundercock · 2019-04-08T12:22:48+00:00

Basic shit test. Shut the fuck up and stop explaining. Men keep busy with projects on the weekend and then relax.

Live your life. Don’t let her mood affect you. She’ll get over it. She’s just used to beta billy following her around. How dare he talk back to me.

“how do I avoid this in the future”

You are finally acting like a man and it feelz different for you. There’s nothing to avoid. The fact that you stood up to mommy and now think there’s a fallout is very telling. Only thing to avoid is going back to holding her purse.

Planning ahead might help. I see that the kids have a friend’s bday party this sat afternoon, I’ll be cutting grass while you take them. I’ll be building the backyard fence on Sunday will be at Home Depot. When I get back home, be ready under the covers with no panties on. Ass slap, grind, head out the door.

RStonePT · 2019-04-08T21:56:42+00:00

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InChargeMan · 2019-04-08T06:21:08+00:00

Honestly you are at day 0. You aren't ready to "do" anything different at this point. You need to take the time, put in in the work, hit the sidebar, hit the gym, and for god's sake, STFU.

Also, don't ask the internet what to do, especially don't ask what others would do. They aren't you. You need to figure out what you would do if you were doing what you wanted to do.

FereallyRed · 2019-04-08T13:39:37+00:00

Taking advice from a comedian that endorses plates over LTR, applying said theory to your LTR, than being surprised when to puzzle pieces don't match up?

I wonder what your error could have been?

[deleted] · 2019-04-08T12:33:50+00:00

who says you should explain a woman's behaviour to her.

Patrice said that? He was a comedian, too. So that's a no as it's pointless.

The moment you sussed out her returning mood I would have put a kibosh to any further conversation. Either verbally or O.I.

I feel like she successfully foisted some of her mood onto you to. You absorbed instead of deflected...since you seem to have had a skirmish over the bed.

How would you act if your angry kid told you that you had to sleep in the yard. It'd definitely make me chuckle. That should have had the same impact.

ReddJive · 2019-04-08T11:52:31+00:00

Your first mistake was that you listened to Black Phillip. Stop that shit. Black Phillip is about 10 years out of date. Even Beige Phillip while somewhat within the Red Pill ideal it is not Red Pill. Good lessons in frame. Otherwise you are using a lot of PUA techniques. Until you can tell the difference stop.

You lack frame. If you had it what she did wouldn't matter.

If you had a purpose for your life and your family, what she did would not have mattered.

Ever try to explain poor behavior to a 5 year old? It's the samething. You don't explain. You show through action, but you had to go for it. You had to tell exactly what she did wrong in your eyes.

Your wife's strong connection to her family is a strength not a weakness. It means she knows how to raise a family that will be strong and connected. Your approach in whining about your happiness was irrelevant to her. Your happiness is not her problem nor her concern. if you are unhappy that's your fault and she is pretty much telling you that.

take charge of your family. Now that you have one started why aren't they coming there? Why is she driving all over with an infant. You don't understand that she wants to show off her family, in some way show you off. You do not yet command a position where you can say, not this weekend babe. Yet this isn't an all or nothing deal.

She brought all those things up because she knew it would piss you off. You are living with a 5 year old and an infant. Do you really explain to your child why they did something wrong and how it made you feel? My xMIL does this. she likes to have conversations with all the grandkids when they break a rule. She will go into in-depth moral, and emotional discussions on why things were wrong.

It's like wrestling with a pig. You're dirty. Pig is happy.

But I am going to ask one simple question.

Why didn't you want to go? It was a new child in the family. that is a chance for you to bump uglies with the BIL and swap manly stories.

Did you have better things to do? Was your mission getting furthered or did you just spend on the couch?

red-sfpplus · 2019-04-08T13:45:25+00:00

Meh.

Everything was cool until she “made noise and light” to keep you up.

It was in that action she crossed from just being a bitch to a terrorist.

It was also in that moment she showed you how little she respected you.

It was also in that moment you showed her how weak you are.

Any motherfucker who purposefully would try to keep me up would have been met with zero tolerance and kicked the fuck outta the bedroom.

Period end of story.

Stand up for yourself faggot.

JDRoedell · 2019-04-08T19:56:25+00:00

Don’t forget that “verbal intercourse” is optional. There’s a good post on this in MRP main sub. Search for it. Just as sex is optional to some women, you don’t have to sit there and DEER why you didn’t want to go. In short, you don’t owe her any answer as to why you didn’t feel like going beyond, “I’d rather stay... have a good time.” This is straight up manipulative behavior on her part. Her feelings, her problem.

It’s how you respond to this behavior that’s important. Redsf is right about the keeping you up thing being a boundary crossed. Show with your actions that that is unsat.

screechhater · 2019-04-09T03:19:36+00:00

Shit test.

Who am I to say you are wrong, or just not operating in your frame ?

STFU is basic and yet extreme Advanced

[deleted] · 2019-04-08T13:22:32+00:00

I take melatonin to sleep when there is noise and light. Works great.

I also laugh whenever they try to bully me into feeling guilty that I'm not servicing them.

RicoDunne · 2019-04-08T14:00:56+00:00

Dude you are totally in her frame...

Read the title of this post, "The fallout of saying no". It reeks of your insecurity in making her upset, because you had the audacity to have a mission other than hers.

mrpthrowa · 2019-04-08T21:31:26+00:00

This purposefully making noise and lights business is worth ending the relationship over.

No woman does this to a man, unless she resents him so much, because she has another dick she is ready to ride or is already riding and she knows it's not yours./

JameisBong · 2019-04-08T06:30:08+00:00

Ignore her...and STFU but explain later on that you don't need anyone to interrupt your sleep. My BPD ex used to pull that shit,i was too much of a pussy to tell her to knock it off. Set boundaries and be prepared to act when she breaks them. Never explain anything to a woman,she won't get it.