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98

Shit test (self.asktrp)

submitted by Throwaway5hfy88k99

This girl just told me "im not someone you just fuck", we have a date next week and i told her that we're watching a movie at my place. I just responded with "calm down, we just started talking, you won't get me that easy ;)". Is this a sign that sex is on her mind and was my shittest reply alright? Still learning.


[–]1FixYourselfFirst104 points105 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

First date from Tinder? You handled the question right.

[–]Throwaway5hfy88k99 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

We met at a bar and i number closed. We have been texting a bit to set up a date. I keep it pretty brief and she has been initiating conversations.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes, it is a sign sex is on her mind. And an obvious one since she by necessity had to first think about sex prior to writing a text message about sex. Also, her text doesn't purport to even rule out sex on the first date, but seems to suggest you can probably fuck but you're going to have at least make her a snack or something. Usually you get, "I'm not sleeping with you", by comparison.

You handled this fine and especially knowing this context.

Subject to the usual caveats (outcome independence, abundance, etc), I would go as far as to say you closing on the first date is probable.

[–]alittletoosmooth42 points43 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Could've done without the emoji

[–]-ThePathIsTheGoal-21 points22 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Agreed.

[–]VigilantSmartbomb3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Is it better to not use emojis? I kinda like them but 🤔

[–]FalconWrite 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

“👅🍆💦🍑😩logistics 👅🍆💦🍑😩plausible 👅🍆💦🍑😩deniability 👅🍆💦🍑😩push 👅🍆💦🍑😩push 👅🍆💦🍑😩pull 👅🍆💦🍑😩BITCH”

[–]DrizzlyShrimp362 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

LOOOL

[–]boredathome1966 points67 points  (15 children) | Copy Link

Great answer. Try to escalate though, you'll probably end up fucking. If she actually resists too much, don't be butthurt about it. You will most likely fuck her one date later.

[–]Throwaway5hfy88k99 1 points [recovered]  (14 children) | Copy Link

I'll see how she reacts to kino, strong eye contact etc. and take it from there.

[–]boredathome1946 points47 points  (13 children) | Copy Link

Girl just told me last weekend that I'm way too sure that I'd fuck her.

After talking for an hour I just grabbed her, threw her on my bed and she wasn't resisting in the slightest. It just doesn't matter what girls say.

[–]2319Skew40 points41 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Agreed with this. Just a word of warning to noobs reading this. There is a world of difference between a laughing no as she undressed her top and a screaming no.

Read the fucking room. Kino and escalation go hand in hand. You don't want to misread that and have to deal with rape charges.

[–]chubz4you22 points23 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

For some reason im laughing and visualizing some sperg from here saying “but i read online this was okay” as she’s dialing 911.

[–]boredathome193 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

To be fair if she really doesn't wanna fuck you her words still wouldn't matter as you should realize what's going on when she's trying to scratch your eyes out, run away or kick you in the balls.

[–]DeusVictor4 points5 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

I would be careful with this approach at least get her to say yes you don’t want rape charges later on.

[–]boredathome192 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Just don't do it autistically. You can always make her beg for your dick.

[–]johnson8420 1 points [recovered]  (5 children) | Copy Link

Serious question how does one not do it autistically. Coming from someone who supposedly has autism

[–]Shanguerrilla2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Don't get stuck in your head... Don't doubt yourself so much like wondering is this or what about my X (autism...or anything).

Try to stay in the moment and YES they meant AWKWARD, not autistic, and not you. If you obssesively ask yourself that question is the only way you miss the tell and fall into AWKWARD.

[–]ShittySoftwar31 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I’m autistic. Pretty confused as to what you mean about handling it autistically, I can read sexual cues etc fine. Guess it depends where you are on the spectrum though.

[–]Shanguerrilla0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Way easier in real life (everyone is a little "autistic" via text only). Just saying that everyone screws it up missing cues or over thinking that "they too" something..

Just saying don't question your intuited social cues and yourself any more than you can help and you'll do better than most men.

[–]ShittySoftwar32 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That’s true. Eye contact and body language helps a fuck ton irl. Texting not so much. Confidence and dominance is usually key in these sort of situations. Never act nervous or weak infront of the opposite sex as theyll just presume you are weak and ditch you

[–]VigilantSmartbomb0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It’s a really bad “joke” in this thread for some reason. Don’t look too far into it

[–]thewobblywelder24 points25 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

When they straight up TELL YOU they ain’t fuckin.? They fuckin. On site almost in most cases. Shit test. Make out with her within the first 2 hours you hang out. She’ll suck that dick. Guaranteed! They all say the exact opposite of what they’re thinking. Especially when it comes to fucking. Pay attention to that brother.

[–]ShittySoftwar310 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

this is true, depending on chemistry etc

[–]nexther11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You responded well

[–]fender18789 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I’ve heard a ridiculous number of girls give me the “I don’t even kiss on a first date” line especially when we’re texting ahead of the first date.

Probably a 75% close rate on the first date. I feel like they give that line for plausible deniability. I’ve met very few girls that actually stand by it. It’s just anti-slut defense.

[–]EvolvedVirus1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is good to know. If she is particularly defensive and creating disclaimers, then know that there is something going on here.

Same with if some girl says "I hate liars"... it's because they got pumped and dumped by a bunch of muscular idiots who were married or something and lied the whole way through and they totally fell for it.

[–]IsNOTlam23 points24 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Youll know.

Dont treat her like a means to sex.

Treat her like a person.

See what you have in common.

If she is into your confidence and conversation then youll get obvious queues from her.

If she looks at her phone a lot and you feel awkward then she probably feels awkward too.

You either have chemistry or you dont.

If she says her neck hurts for example then she possibly would be receptive to you asking if she wants a massage. Some people are stupid and some people are manipulative. If she is trying to manipulate you into a situation which she doesnt want to initiate because of a subconscious fear of being labeled, then she gives these queues with her choice of what to talk about and how she acts.

But some people genuinely arent rushing things and you wont engage that person by trying to force something that isnt being felt. Different people have different sexual appetites and triggers.

Confidence and calmness are your friends. Be very observant, dont get stuck in your head. Engage her in conversation and try to get her talking more if possible. You dont need to do all of the talking etc.

Everyone has different game and qualities. You have to work on what yours are. What works for me and how I am perceived is different from the next guy.

[–]brennyflocko4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Queue is a line cue is a signal or suggestion

[–]IsNOTlam0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks :)

[–]Throwaway5hfy88k99 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

Dude I'm not gonna rape her or force it. Lmao It will be pretty obvious through escalation and recalibrating the situation if she wants to or not.

[–]IsNOTlam11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Not what I said but seems you'll do fine.

[–]DigitalDog00014 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Try, "don't worry, if I thought you were easy I would have passed on you right away". Then if/when you get her she'll at least think she's respectable even if she was easy. If she's a talker...that kind of approach could pave the way with other girls she knows.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes.

[–]asorals4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

top answer

[–]1walawalawa3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You handled it well. But here's a better way that I use effectively:

Her: I'm not someone you just fuck..

Me: Whoa! Behave! Who said anything about fucking? You'll have to wine and dine me first

Her: blah blah blah

You: I'm the one who should be scared. I'll be keeping my eye on you...

[–]dtyler861 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This could be a shit test from a shitty girl or since none of us have any idea what she’s like, maybe she really is a girl you do not just fuck and this is your unicorn that you wife up. Most likely the former and well played sir

[–]BajaGhia1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I like to talk in terms of food. Partially because I'm a cook, partially because it something everyone understands.

Build a stew.

She says " hey I'm not just someone you fuck" You say, " I'm just preheating the oven, you're mixing the ingredients."

Look, take it easy. You're in control, but she wants you to drive like she wants. So slow simmer that shit till she can't help herself. That means a bit of attending to the fire and making sure that heat is being applied in all the right places and a good stir happens. Mix sexuality and other stuff in alternating doses to heat it evenly throughout.

[–]kaolin2240 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

"I'm not someone you just fuck."

Actually, that's not her call.

What you decide to do afterwards is your business. If the sex is mediocre and you ghost her, that's totally on you.

However, now she has your phone number and knows where you live, so that kind of sounds like a threat...

[–]mushroom_overlord0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

That's fine. I prefer to give them a "woah there" rather than a "calm down" though, because the latter just straight up offends some people (not that you should never say it, just that it gets the opposite reaction from what you are literally asking for).

Of course, you have the right idea calling out that shittest with agree and amplify, and regardless of the wording that should get the right idea across.

[–]jsperezgsp0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Seems LMR/ASD

[–]bluefingerblue0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Good answer except for the winky emoji. Unnecessary. And also gay.

[–]SocietalEngineering0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

“I’m not someone you just fuck” means she wants to have sex with you, but she is trying to bargain for more by making you feel bad about just getting the notch.

[–]throwawaybpdnpd0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Nobody’s perfect, you did you my man... keep it up !

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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