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74

What to fucking do (self.asktrp)

submitted by ilovepurplestew

I had enough. My life is shit. I am to blame that is for sure. I want to change but I literally cannot do shit and I feel so fucking retarded that I haven't actually started doing anything meaningful.

I know the protocol, lift, eat healthy, sleep right, good routine, meditate, hobbies etc. But my biggest problem is I have done nothing to start a career. Dropped out 1st year. That should be my priority but I'm avoiding it. I'm doing fuck all in my life. But I want to change? I want to be a different person, a better version of myself. But I feel like I'm in constant torture based on the fact that I've developed shitty habits, and also living with my parents and sister where it's hard to have a good relationship because of their negativity and shitty way of dealing with me since I was a kid. That's putting a lot of blame on others aside from myself, but I'm sure it's a mixture of everything as to why I'm a piece of shit.

I was put in a position of not having any friends because of switching cities and going to a highschool with people who dorm (out of town), and generally having no real direction afterwards. I know I should've chosen a direction myself, but I was in a bad spot considering the environment and being an introverted blue pilled thinker, surrounded by others who didn't have much direction as well.

I ended up taking a gap year, then going into engineering which I was not ready for at all because of shitty habits (weed and gaming) all while not having real friends and generally living a depressed and boring life alone.

So now, I'm 22, have no fucking college degree, been stoning out working retail and fuck all. Depression, but the type I brought upon myself because I just didn't give a shit. This has been going on for a good 3 years. I discovered TRP about 6 months ago and I'm glad that I did. So now, with this shitty fucking start, what do I do.

Do I suck it up, endure the torture, and live with my parents so they can help pay for school and living? This is probably what I'll end up doing because it is by far the safest option, and best for my future. But again, this means monk mode for a long time, so it'll probably be hell and I'll have trouble staying on task.

Or do I move out with nothing to my name besides like 10k and start everything independently? This is an appealing option because I'll be completely free and will be forced to actually do things. But I'm starting out as a complete bum. Fml.

This ended up being more of a rant then a real question, but I can't grasp wtf is wrong with me. For example I've been telling myself I'll wake up 6am, get a workout done, count macros, meditate, research what to fucking do with my life, and go to sleep at like 10. What ends up happening is I stick to my habits, stay up til 4am, wake up 1pm, don't do shit because I hate facing reality, and repeat.

My problems are clear, but I'm not acting upon them.

22 years old, no college degree. No experience or talents. Doing fuck all.

How do you pick yourself up and actually get to fucking work. I know I should do it. I've had long contemplations where I really want to do it. I've even had days where I'm feeling confident. But all I've really had are tiny successes, and I'm going crazy over the fact that I'm not capable of going all out. I suppose being mediocre is better than nothing. But I'm struggling hard, and it's basically because I'm a piece of shit. Yeah don't hate yourself and bring yourself down, I know that. But now I'm battling against myself you see. This is torture and I don't know how to break out of it. I'm afraid I'll continue to waste my time because I want to delay the harsh realities of hard work and building up my career with this shitty start. It could be worse, I know, but there I go arguing with myself. So what do I want from asktrp? I don't know. How about a $10,000 bet that I'll fucking start my transformation and be a completely different person by next year. I feel like only a dirty incentive like that is the only way to go forth and actually make changes. It's ironic becase even without making that bet, I would gain way more than 10k value to myself if I followed through. Maybe my problem is I need to start with baby steps. But I've been telling myself all this for a while and not getting anything out of it. How can I break out of this life. I'm straight up realizing that I'm fucking retarded. I'll have to delete this in a day or 2.


[–]comounamanzana138 points139 points  (14 children) | Copy Link

Dude, get a grip, you are only 22 year old. You are makin a big deal outta this

[–]omega_dawg9324 points25 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

only 22?

that's why he's in this position.

"you're only 18...20... 22?"

when the fuck does the can stop getting kicked down the road?

[–]ilovepurplestew[S] 22 points23 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

It's just the feeling of anger and uselessness mixed together and I'm staring at my life with a shitty perspective. You're right I'm making a big deal out of this, and I should get a grip, but at this point I feel like I'll continue down a shit path if I don't make changes that I'm so retardedly struggling with. I really do need to take small steps...

[–]InDankWeTrust68 points69 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

From what i read, this entire post is just you making excuse after excuse. You see, your problem is that you know what you need to do, but you are refusing to do it, by making up some dumbass excuse. You will never het anywhere feeling sorry for yourself. How about you respect yourself at least a little bit, and try to establish a good, healthy routine. Exercise,wake up early, eat well, meditate. But most importantly, Stop making fucking excuses, and just do

[–]poopsicle886 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

/thread

[–]eldridgecrowbarn 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy Link

Start with noFap first. Simultaneously start hitting the gym, this is the most important thing. You’ll learn to care about yourself enough to make other changes. It’s not just about looking good, building confidence etc. Maybe learn something for a couple hours that’ll help you make money. It might be hard but I guess it’ll make the difference between getting somewhere or nowhere in a year or so.

I’m exactly in your situation but since jan I’m hitting the gym, reduced smoking, eating well and trying to learn programming. I still dint get anywhere significant. Dint gain weight yet but my body looks muscular, haven’t mastered my course but I have a basic knowledge of how things work. but I sure as hell care about myself now.

Most importantly I realised how weed and other drugs take out your will to be better. I get high, I skip everything and end up locked in my room. It is never worth messing your life for a few moments of pleasure.

You have to start somewhere! Little, full on monk mode, doesn’t matter. Just start man.

Fucking quit weed cold turkey, start gym. Weed pulls out the life out of you. It makes you a lazy anxious stupid butt.

[–]illusiveab4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Most importantly I realised how weed and other drugs take out your will to be better. I get high, I skip everything and end up locked in my room. It is never worth messing your life for a few moments of pleasure.

You have to start somewhere! Little, full on monk mode, doesn’t matter. Just start man.

Fucking quit weed cold turkey, start gym. Weed pulls out the life out of you. It makes you a lazy anxious stupid butt. And fucking stop making excuses you baby.

If you read anything in this thread OP, it should be this.

[–]ilovepurplestew[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

That's definitely one of the big takeaways I'm getting from all this great advice. I too would lock myself up in my room because of weed. I'm gonna quit for good now man, that drug has the potential to ruin my next decade if I don't quit cold turkey. Nofap is a lot easier for me so I'm lucky. And working out is the 3rd big thing. It's good to see you're on the right track and now I'm gonna catch up

[–]InstigatingDrunk1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

let me put something into perspective. I am 29 and got my degree at 23 in finance (too stupid for it tbh). The problem is is, i'm doing a shitty accounts payable job at this age. you're at a point where you have a clear idea as far as what you dn't want to do. Why not start going to college now and get into a field you'll know you'll do well in?

[–]ilovepurplestew[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I've been a little afraid of starting college again, but you're right. The upside is I know what I don't want and it might be a good idea to go back with a different perspective and not make the same mistakes

[–]Believeinyourflyness2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I feel the same way and I'm 24

[–]StopGaming12342 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Feel the same and turn 24 in august. My situation is different though as I already started with "baby steps" and it did wonders to my life. Having a decently large social circle, getting laid and feeling okay in my skin.

​

Still nowhere near where I wanna be at some point.

[–]ilovepurplestew[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I see there's a lot of people in the same boat. Looks like those baby steps really are enough to kick start a significant change.

Lets do this together boys.

[–]Believeinyourflyness0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

The journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step. I say this as I cram for my auditing exam tomorrow which I've barely studied for

[–]cyphrrr 1 points [recovered]  (3 children) | Copy Link

You think you want these things but if you really did you would be taking actions to make them happen. Don’t try to do everything at once, start one habit and once it becomes the norm add another. If you don’t want to go to college than that’s totally fine but you better have a plan.

[–]ilovepurplestew[S] 6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Taking small steps is definitely something I should start doing now. Also, I feel embarrassed that it's so clear that I'm likely not capable of doing things that take a lot of discipline. I want to hold myself to a higher standard, but I've never devoted myself hard enough. My bad habits are stopping me hard. I want to take action but I find myself in situations where I get overpowered by weed, escapism (gaming, youtube, reddit), and in general just procrastinating. So many years of this type of shit it's become a monster now.

I don't even know what I'm capable of. I won't know until I start getting rid of bad habits, and making new ones. Slowly though, one at a time. Thanks

[–]poopsicle882 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Words are wind dude

Actions speak louder than words

Stop telling us what you want to do or are going to do or should do

And just do it

Nike

[–]ilovevidya1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You sound exactly like me and I'm 26, but I've improved a little. Be glad that you have the chance to change now before it's too late. Force yourself to do it. Listen to some powerful music or just music you love if you lack inspiration. Realise that if you keep being lazy and living like shit, then your life will inevitably be shit. You're brain is making excuses because you want the perfect life but don't want to do the hard work it takes to get their. Override your brain. Tell it to fuck off, and lock on to that one true positive inner voice. The one that knows you aren't living right. That's you, and your voice is being shouted over by the negative thoughts. The first step is the biggest, it only gets easier. Force yourself to take the first steps and your already most of the way there.

[–]bigkahuna33319 points20 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Mate, the simple answer is you haven't taken responsibility for your decisions. You are nearly there, you know what you need to do but you are waiting for others to tell you and to guide you. Being a man is doing these things yourself, finding that spark inside you that drives the shit out of your days. Commit to changing your life each day and in a week you'll be in a different position. You're fortunate your waking up when you're 22, some people never wake up and are never going to have the chance to be happy

[–]korpus917 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

When I was 22 I came to a similar conclusion. Moving out feels like good option because it is. Have you concidered joining the military?

[–]sauron8462 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

With the amount of weed he smokes, that might not be possible. Depends a lot on which service and which recruiter he talks to, and if he can stay off it long enough to clear it out of his system.

[–]dusara2174 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Most people in the military these days have smoked weed. As long as he can kick the habit, it won't be an issue. Hell, one of the girls I went to "A" school with did a lot more than that, and she's in intelligence with a top secret clearance.

[–]0io-4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If you dropped the weed and gaming completely you'd have so much extra time that you could work a side job while you figure out what to do next.

[–]trustmethisismyname9 points10 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Hmm, that's a loooong post. I didn't have the patience to read it, but a quick glance.

If I were to tell you, I'd say, first thing, you should sit with your parents and tell them how you're feeling, confessing makes people feel better. And also tell them you want to change yourself by moving out, but tell them it's going to take a little time and also their help and support.

And than move out. But keep in touch with your parents. And keep away from facebook, reddit, insta or whatever you use. Try to live a little without internet or gadgets. Think about life in a positive way. Not what you've wasted, but how you're going to better it. i once was in such a place like you, and a quote idk where did I get it, but helped me. It sounds ridiculous but I think it has a deeper meaning, it goes like this - "Remember you're that single sperm that defeated all the others on your first race" .

When you live alone with no phone, going out for a walk everyday, eat healthy, don't smoke, you'll in a month or two, definitely start to feel better. At least, this was the case with me.

Anyway, I'm not very good at expressing my mind, and also my english sucks, but I tried my best. Wish you a happy and better life.

Just in case, if you smoke weed, quit it. Weed doesn't suit some people, I found out the hard way.

[–]ilovepurplestew[S] 3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Thank you man. I like how you make it seem pleasant to make good life changes and it's nice knowing you went through something similar and pulled through.

Great advice, I definitely need to be more positive. It will be hard to have that conversation with my parents, but I'm sure something of benefit will come out of it.

And you're totally right about weed. Even though it's destroying me in many ways, I still have this blind love for it. I need to erase that shit out of my life.

[–]trustmethisismyname0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

It's nice to see your positive reply. I'd like to share a few more things, just in case if it helps. I was an weed addict, but it's been more than three year now, I haven't done it. And I was a heavy smoker, but after I realised what I was doing with my life, I tried to stop it. But couldn't, than I changed my place and made my new place a no smoking zone. So every time I have to go to my old place for some reason, this tendency for smoking strikes me hard.

So what I want to say is, the urges to drink, smoke are might be related to the place you've done it earlier, so wherever you go next leave your bad habits where they were, and make the new place a better place.

Also, since you've posted this seeking help, already means you're doing something to help yourself. People are going to give you lots of good advises, just take another step, apply them all, one at a time.

[–]ilovepurplestew[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think weed is one of the biggest obstacles for me. But that's a great point, I can see how changing places would help. I've actually had success in the past of taking a break for a few weeks, but I think it's time to put it off for much longer now.

It's always in the back of my mind, the thought of smoking and feeling nice and high. It will be hard to get rid of that. But it messes with my drive, my everything.

I appreciate the advice bro, I'll make the extra effort to put it down for good. That's gonna be my main priority. I'll be sure to take advice from trp, one at a time. I want to see the other side of life for myself.

[–]warwolverinewarrior7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You have no goals.

[–]dusara2172 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You're trying to do too much at once. You know what the problem is, you know what you need to do it, so what's the problem? The problem is that there are ten thousand habits to change and nobody on the planet has enough willpower to change that much all at one time.

First things first - don't beat yourself up for failing to be perfect with all of the habits. Pick one habit, and follow it religiously. I don't care if it's as simple as brushing your teeth morning and night, just fucking do it.

Why? This will automate a part of your day. You need good habits to be something that costs literally zero willpower. You shouldn't have to think about working out - it shouldn't be a question of if I'm working out today, but rather, what kind of workout I'll do.

So pick a habit, and do it every damn day for a month. Brush your teeth morning and night, floss morning and night, just pick one thing and do it right. Next month pick a different thing. Go for a run every morning. How do you go for a run in the morning? You wear some running clothes to bed, you put your alarm on the other side of the room, and then the moment you wake up, you go outside and fucking run. It isn't a choice. It's not something you think about. You set up everything in your life to make the habit easy and automatic.

Pick one thing. Make this month slightly better than last month. If you pick up one good habit a month every month for a year, that's twelve good habits. Even if those are little things like cleaning your room or flossing every day, that stacks up quickly.

One last thing. You can't kill a bad habit. You can only replace it with a better one. Do you play video games too much? Change the way you play video games. During the loading screen before a game of LoL, bust out a set of push-ups. Do you smoke too much weed? Replace the weed with vape, and use it as an excuse to meet new people. Go to a vape shop and make some new friends. Whenever you feel the urge to smoke weed, go for a walk and vape. That will make you more active, which will give you more energy and make you more motivated.

Google "keystone habits" if you still aren't sure where to go from here.

Edit: Also, move out of your childhood home. Statistically speaking, you are more likely to drop out of college living in your parents' house than if you got no help at all. You have a savings account, find a tiny, shitty apartment and move into it. Even if it's a worse living space, it will teach you a lot about yourself and about life as an adult. I will re-iterate this - it would be better for your parents to give you literally no help at all than for you to live in their house. If worst comes to worst, join the military. Navy, Army, Marines, it doesn't really matter, but it will certainly give you a kick in the ass and a place to sleep if that's what you need.

[–]Endorsed Contributorleftajar2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Baby steps, man. Seriously.

I've been in your shoes, and you're falling into this cycle:

  • "My discipline is shit, I suck." The first part is true; the latter part is a value judgment.
  • "Tomorrow, I'm going to do ALL THE THINGS.
  • -> fail at it, because that's way too much change all at once.
  • -> Verbally abuse yourself and sink deeper into the pit.

The solution is to DO SMALL THINGS CONSISTENTLY.

I'm going to say that again.

DO SMALL THINGS CONSISTENTLY.

So you can't wake up at 6? That's fine; neither can I. And guess what -- YOU DON'T HAVE TO. How about 8? Can you consistently wake up at 8?

Take all the categories of things you want to do, pick one small thing, and do it for a month. Then reassess. That's how you making LASTING progress without overburdening yourself and backsliding.

[–]paul_ernst2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

So now, I'm 22, have no fucking college degree, been stoning out working retail and fuck all. Depression, but the type I brought upon myself because I just didn't give a shit. This has been going on for a good 3 years. I discovered TRP about 6 months ago and I'm glad that I did. So now, with this shitty fucking start, what do I do.

Here's the first thing you're gonna do: you're going to stop looking back. The hardest question we try to answer before getting to change is, "why didn't I do it already?" Somehow we try to rationalize the time we wasted before we're able to get up and get going. But there is no need. There is no meaning to all of this, no purpose. You could go on in this latitude you call reality and maybe in 10 years you'll finally get it that it doesn't matter why you didn't do it any sooner.

I started my engineering degree when I was 22. I was terrified of that, because that meant I'd be in school until I'm 27-28. But I also knew that in five years from then, I could either be an engineer, or a worthless piece of shit. Now I'm 26, I'm doing an internship this summer at the european variant of NASA (ESA), and next year I'm graduating in computer science. I've turned my life around at 22. And whether you'll do it now or in 10 years time. It doesn't matter. Because once you do it, you don't look back.

In fact, looking back at that turning point for me, I can't help but realise how little effort I needed to get going. Getting over those minor inconveniences to push yourself out of your comfort zone (walking in a gym for the first couple of times), they now seem so dull, but at the time they truly were the most important.

To close, some cheesy advice: if you want to change something in your life, change something you do daily. Your 24 hours are your life. And that means looking at impossible big goals is good to steer and aim your boat, but nothing more. It's much more important to focus on the steering, the minor daily things we do have control over, than the big dream, and trust that the momentum you build will take care of the rest. That's really all what it's about, building that initial momentum. Once you have it, you'll never stop. Today you can't decide to suddenly be a computer science master, but you can decide to show up to class. And that should always be your first goal. To show up.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hello. The thing stopping you from where you want to be and where you are now is knowledge. Questions that require answers from YOU. Not me,not Reddit users.

A few doubts about what you mention in your post,with the hope you find something useful.

You say you want to become a better version of yourself.What do you mean better version? Define it.

What do you mean a better version of someone who has bad habits?

Why do you come to a fourm like trp to find solutions to something you created? Everyone here deals with their own shit,which they have to figure out on their own.

As for the career aspect,22 is pretty young. The feeling you have that something is wrong is a good indicator towards the right direction. All that is left is to question your actions which tell you what you thing.

Are you what you claim to be or what actions you do?

If anything finds any contradiction in what I say feel free to let me know so I can understand and resolve it.

Thanks.

[–]mark22621 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If you want a clear picture on what to do from here... you need to start meditating. The deep breathing from meditation will give you more oxygen, and allow your subconscious mind to come into play. If you meditate TWICE A DAY, 10-20 mins each time, for a WHOLE 30 DAYS, believe me. You will start to find your answers.

Message me if you need anything.

[–]squibity1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.” t roosevelt

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Fucking scary reading this, I was you. You need drastic change, assume a different identity. Sell all your gaming equipment, delete all your social media, no drugs, no alcohol, no fap and hit the gym. We are lazy people, so being bored and having no distractions allows us to be much more productive.

Last but not least, you have to accept where you are in life as the result of your own actions. You sound like a victim, shit happens to everyone. CONTROL YOUR VARIABLES.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Mmmm... everyone’s chiming in with good but grand stuff. I’m gonna just tell you a small thing that will help you:

Workout in the evening. You aren’t ready for 6am workout. Do it in the evening and it will help you sleep and set up your first success.

[–]AuberyBitoni0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I was in the exact same position... 22 years old now, dropped out of college and was addicted to videogames. Have no degree or anything but I'm thinking about joining the military and aim for special forces.

Maybe you could do the same? Military is good for discipline, it will stop your video game addiction, you will have a goal, make friends and you'll be away from your negative family.

[–]uptimex0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I had the same when I was 30. You are just 22 and you already know what to do. What you must do. So be calm.

But I would recommend you to understand more about yourself. Your the most authentic version. For the starting pass MBTI test.

[–]Davidskylarkk0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Send me that 10k and I'll make you rich!

[–]TheHumbleAfrican0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm sure there are a lot of people in your shoes right now. Don't worry, everybody goes through problems in life. It is part of growth, and if you overcome, you become stronger. Lots of the comments have given you solid advice.

My advice to you is for you to develop real friendships, people you can talk to face to face, people who you can share your ups and downs with. That will make a big difference. Good luck.

[–]ChemicalGiraffe0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Stop being a drama queen,

  1. You are young.

  2. You are self aware of your situation so theres that which is a plus.

  3. Its never too late. Fix your problems one by one then you will realize they are fixable instead of complaining.

  4. Keep lifting.

[–]AlphaAbundance0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

There seems to be a motivation problem here. Understand the sacrifices that have to be made. Be clear on what it is you want and why. You have the protocol but what are the clear reasons that you must follow it? Create benefit lists, what you will sacrifice list, do visualizations, and imagine what your life could be with work and what it will be down this current path. You're surviving and your pysch is cool with that. If you want to thrive your gonna have to convince the human mind to take action as it's quite lazy.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

My problems are clear, but I'm not acting upon them.

They're not as clear as you think, otherwise you'd probably fix them.

Let me explain:

For example I've been telling myself I'll wake up 6am, get a workout done, count macros, meditate, research what to fucking do with my life, and go to sleep at like 10. What ends up happening is I stick to my habits, stay up til 4am, wake up 1pm, don't do shit because I hate facing reality, and repeat.

You think the problem is that you are doing B instead of A, but this isn't quite right.

The problem is you don't know HOW to do A. You know what you want to do, but you don't know how to actually do it. You think because you know all the steps, you know how to actually walk the path. You don't, and that's fine.

Maybe my problem is I need to start with baby steps.

Yes yes yes absolutely yes.

Ok, here's what you do:

Find the smallest tiniest thing you CAN do. Even if it's "get out of bed". Even if it's "get out of bed at 2pm rather than 3". Whatever the smallest thing that you can do is.... do that.

You do that, you get into the habit of that for a few days or weeks, and then you find the next thing you can tackle.

It's not that you're retarded, you're overwhelmed with bad habits, probably due to a life that is physically easy and emotionally hard.

But that doesn't matter, because it's now your job to gradually build up things that you can do, learn things you can do, and gradually slowly improve.

[–]sjd220 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I didn't read the whole thing. If you don't want to continue college, join the military. After 4 years - if you put the work in - you'll be able to get a decent job. After 8 and beyond your career prospects only improve. I dropped out of college 3 times, finally man'd up and joined the military and got out after 6 years. With an honorable discharge, training, and a clearance I am now making close to 6 figures (been in the civilian job market for 2 years) with upward mobility. I now own a house, paid off my car 2 years early. I still have plenty of work to do, but the things on the "administrative" side of my life, finances and such, are all squared away.

[–]JyoungPNG0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Externalize your goals, write them out. Break the habits through incremental progress. Start reading and writing.

[–]the13thmonk0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

"What to fucking do"

ensuing - blah blah blah

​

It's really simple. It's not that complicated to become successful. Lift, stay fit, read, try new things, find something that fits the criteria of what you want OR would give you what you want. Do that. Fail a lot. Keep doing it. You won't be able to do this over night. Make a small change. Tiny change. Like keeping your place tidy. Going to the gym for 15 mins a day. Researching new shit you'd like to try for 20 mins a day. Then increase the times and as your capacity to take on more responsibility increases keep doing so.

​

There's no magic pill for this. You know what to do. Now you just have to start small and begin doing it.

[–]nishitc30 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Listen friend, I read your story and let me tell you that my life is about 90% like yours. I understand what you're going through and would like to say that you should get a few basics down: - Start searching what you want to do with your career, start with something, anything. - Begin with an Internship/Apprenticeship, something to give you work experience. - Study and practice Stoicism (helps a lot). - Lastly, I would recommend that you read 'The Slight Edge' by Jeff Olson.(This might help you in getting a grip) You can do this brother it's not too late.

[–]NeedRealityShock0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

people make it despite being born with no legs and shit like that

[–]Sendmeloveletters[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You’re 22. You still have support systems and can start something up with other young men.

[–]Aymane2210 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I have some advice hit the fucking gym

[–]NotAJoKe10020 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Join the military

[–]Barbwire_cake0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm 19 and kind of in the same situation as OP is, minus smoking weed and hating my family. I've been seriously considering the military though, legit would solve all my problems. It would introduce new ones for sure, but at least those can go away for sure after 4 years. Being a fat piece of shit won't go away until I do something about it.

[–]1rad_dynamic0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

build a foundation for yourself. get a trade skill or something. this will give you stability.

[–]locomotronn0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I’m the same age so take this with a grain of salt but... I see a reflection of you on this post about myself. I also felt the same way.

Truth is, you don’t care. You only want to appear to be better.

the reason why anyone would need to use their age, like “I am 22!” Is to showcase how LOW you feel compared to other successful 22 year olds. You probably see a lot of guys around this age leaving college and starting their successful careers and you think “woo is me, I don’t have that!”

Truth is, it does matter. Meditating, working out, all that stuff is important if done for you. If you do it mechanically as a way to please others you’ve already failed.

Idk man. I’m now leaving the place you are at and took a lot of suffering to leave that place, so you might need to suffer even more. Realize that probably your biggest issue is you are only focusing on things to please others and learn to accept it

[–]RagBeerBela0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

First of all stop gaming and weed, gaming is a waste of time unless ur making a living out of it and even then it takes a toll on your body. Weed slows down your brain function and trust me your brain is all you have that is truly yours. Start working out, it doesnt have to be lifting or gym, simple workout plan 20 mins a day can get you a long way. Get your monk mode on for atleast 2,3 months and then start going out and just talking to people. Focus on yourself and get a grip.

[–]misls0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sounds like me 6 months ago. Get into a trade, plumbing if you can. Trades have no ceiling, you can end up creating your business successfully if you put your mind to it. DM me if you want to talk.

[–]therandombiker10 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I didn’t know what to do with my life until I was 38 years old. Made a plan, Get back to school, and 3 years later everything it’s way better. You already know what to do, but you didn’t yet figured out how to motivate yourself. I would get the hell out of my parents house, that should be the first step.

[–]comu_nacho0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Dude, start doing what you can do regardless of your living situation. Stop drinking, smoking, getting high, fapping, any waste-of-time activity you have, like watching tv or youtube, playing video games, etc. and start working out, eating healthy, meditating, reading, improving your looks, etc. I did all that I just suggested, and I've lost like 55 pounds since Christmas (like 25% of my original weight), and it's better than taking antidepressants (though if you're on them, finish your treatment first). Give it 2 or 3 months, don't think in getting to a goal, instead enjoy the journey.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I feel you brother, I'm 26 next Saturday and I have to pull my finger out of my arse also.

I'm going back to college in September to learn welding, it's pretty mad for me because I am normally an artistic type of person. But it seems interesting so fuck it, I'll give it a try.

I'm hoping there will be people around my age on the course and not annoying school leavers, but I guess it is what it is.

I know how you feel though man, take care and I hope you come up with a solution soon.

[–]krispydankage0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

All I can suggest to add on top of the really good answers already submitted is read a book called The Slight Edge. Get it downloaded on your phone and whenever you feel the urge to scroll through the same shitty insta feed or whatever social media you’re on, just fight the urge and give the book a read - it may only be a few pages/ sentences but mate it’s definitely worth it. I felt and sometimes still feel the way you do but I can assure you that after just a week of reading The Slight Edge it will completely shift your philosophy and outlook on life. Like what a lot of others are saying here, you’re 22, if you pick up JUST 1 of the habits taught in the book, by the time you’re 23 you’ll be a completely different person. I hope this helps brother. PM me if you need any advice.

[–]rockyp320 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I hear you m8 as always you got time if you cut out all your vices you’ll be left bored with nothing else to do so you’ll start to actually wanna do shit you’ll either make new bad habits or you’ll pick up some good ones. Dopamine is everything I’m starting to learn that’s why no fap works that’s why no gaming works that’s why no social media works. U take away these high dopamine hits then you’ll actually enjoy all the shit that you “need” to get done. Before no fap it took me like an hour to get up in the morning now I wake up immediately. Dopamine is your enjoyment level when u take weed and game you dopamine get super high to the point where normal things won’t stimulate you like there supposed to. Someone talks to you and tells you that their dog died but u literally have to fake it to act like you care cause ur dopamine is so fucked. Quit fucking weed man, if u can quit games too that’s great but I can’t speak on that cause I’m still addicted to them. When u smoke weed all the time only thing can stimulate u is crazy shit. Want some help? Watch this man I finally got the balls to start a fast yesterday and now I’m at a 36 hour dry fast I feel great I’m gonna keep going as long as I can. My stomach has de bloated I feel more clear headed, my hunger has dissipated, I smell great and I already smelt good from no fap, this guy motivated me and speaks unfiltered truth he’s not for the faint of hear but Man you gotta watch this guy he is amazing https://youtu.be/nkzkGzjIWKo

[–]rudolf_the_red0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

ugh. this post and the ensuing hand holding just rub me the wrong way.
you’re 22, living with your folks (who apparently will pay for your college) and have 10k$ to your name. boo hoo.
take 2k and go rent yourself an apartment.
take $300 and visit a thrift store and furnish your apt.
(i’m not going to tell you what to buy, figure it out).
$100 for a pair of work boots.
$200 for some food bank the rest and don’t touch it.

if you really want to do this right sell your car (your folks probably gave you) and get a bicycle.

now go find yourself a job. not a fancy ‘college degree’ type job. a job. not a career. you have nothing to contribute to a career right now.

find someone that will give you a job digging holes. or laying sod. or felting roofs. or moving rocks. or cutting grass.

something that just needs your 22 year old body to show up and sweat. if you find that, you’ll also find a job that probably won’t care how much weed you smoke. don’t puss out and work in food. find something that’ll leave you so tired you’ll have an excuse not to work out.

on the weekends when you’re not working volunteer at a homeless shelter.

do that for a year.

then come back here and read what you wrote.

and tell us what you learned.

[–]Tastypita0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Me too

[–]Jsieijejeieokkd0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Join the Army!!! 3 hots and a cot!

[–]Soon_As_I_Nut0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Move out on your own.

[–]MarioBuzo-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm 22

wow so old

[–]bowhunter6-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This shitpost is nothing but whining, complaining, and passive-aggressive blaming of others for your current state. Someone take this pathetic garbage down. This low-effort motherfucker doesn’t deserve any help.

[–]DeadlyCrape-3 points-2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

you are not so smart

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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