TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

135

itiswr1tten Answers All Your Questions Today! (self.asktrp)

submitted by itiswr1tten

Asktrp is always busy on Friday because our dear readers are getting hyped to go out, or alternatively, try to fix their retarded LTRs and chase their oneitis of 6 months.

I'm going to do you a favor and answer every question you could possibly have so you don't need to post. Here we go:

  • (solves 50%+ of issues) This wouldn't matter if you were maintaining sexual relationships with multiple women

Plate ignoring you? Fwb wants commitment? Struggling with the close on your totally hb9 bro? Is there This One Girl?

Here's the solution.

  • (solves 33% of issues) Yes, you should do it.

Should you switch to PHUL lifts? Should you ask her out? Should you move to a new city.

Do it faggot.

  • (solves 17% of issues) Go out and get off the internet.

Existential dread? "What's the point, so i just spin plates forever until I die?" Feel like saying clown world unironically?

Time to go outside.

Thanks for reading, you saved some other EC lots of time.

AMA otherwise, I'm around for awhile


[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon63 points64 points  (34 children) | Copy Link

Thanks for reading, you saved some other EC lots of time

All so true.

A few more to add:

"I am fat / skinny / not attractive enough" Lift heavy things, put down fork, do cardio.

"I know X is bad, but is it ok to do it anyway" No, do not LTR a single mother, do not fuck your colleagues, do not expect a slut to be faithful, never believe that this-one-is-special-and-different

"She has an n-count of only 1 and is a good Christian girl". All women lie, stop believing them, stop acting on their words. They want your commitment and will lie to get it.

"I am short / ugly / bald / old / wrong colour". You can't fix these things, so make the best of it. Try being short, ugly, bald, old, blue and in awesome shape, you'll be surprised how far this gets you.

"I'm utterly desperate and miserable and lonely and it's not worth it to just have sex but I really want to have sex". Choose which it is. It's either worth it or not. Then either do it or stop complaining.

[–]hoesdrinktea 1 points [recovered]  (21 children) | Copy Link

Bro, with regards to dont fuck your colleagues. I work in a hospital and it’s the biggest employer in the area, and other young people tend to leave the area for other jobs... would you get on women in other departments or stay out of the hospital as a whole?

[–]_the_shape_21 points22 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Do you know for fact the girl you're eyeing doesn't know anyone in your own department? Are you 100% positive they wouldn't pull a stunt like calling your manager should shit go south, maybe inform them that you smoke and that they really ought to drug test you (assuming you do)?

But above all, if you lost your job because of this girl, how badly would it fuck you? Are you rich? Do you have a ton of connections and can easily get another job? Do you have other side hustles that'll keep you afloat?

Give this some more thought with the head on your shoulders than the one between your legs.

[–]Senior ContributorMentORPHEUS10 points11 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

dont fuck your colleagues. I work in a hospital

From what I've heard, hospitals are a close second to restaurants for the amount of fucking that goes on. Surprisingly, STDs are treated in a rather cavalier manner. I knew a gal who got pumped and dumped by one of the Doctors, and he gave her the gift of herpes. Her colleague in the office was a club thot, and one day was bawling her eyes out after her HIV test came up positive.

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten[S] 8 points9 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Being a nurse is a red flag to me at this point

[–]That_Deaf_Guy1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

What's the reason for this? I assume it's the reason mentioned above? ("hospitals are a close second to restaurants for the amount of fucking that goes on.")

[–]Pynewacket4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Long as fuck shifts, readily available rooms and beds, a power dinamic of submission to doctors.

[–]That_Deaf_Guy2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

A girl I'm seeing right now is a nurse. It's difficult, I've never had to work around someone else's schedule. Ticked a lot of boxes for me (so far) in terms of vetting her for a LTR. Haven't given her that status though.

Interesting what you've just said though, also never thought of the power dynamic. She seems to enjoy control though. Only time will tell.

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Crazy schedule for crazy people. They're all just fucking nuts.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon1 point2 points  (13 children) | Copy Link

would you get on women in other departments or stay out of the hospital as a whole?

Avoid the whole thing.

One report to HR about how you "forced yourself" on her, sexually harassed her at work, and made her feel uncomfortable?

Look... when the relationship is over, a majority of women go on a vindictive hate streak. Look how marriages end: the man says "I just want her to be ok" and the woman says "I will destroy him".

It's trivial for her to go to HR and get you fired.

[–]screenmagnet1 point2 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

Except that hospitals do not give a shit about sexual harassment. It’s so pervasive that it’s treated as just part of the job. And if something really egregious happens (like rape), they cover it up and fire the person who reported in order to intimidate everyone else into silence.

Hospital HR is not like regular HR in an office.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon1 point2 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

Interesting.

Enjoy it while it lasts :)

[–]screenmagnet0 points1 point  (10 children) | Copy Link

Enjoy what? Being sexually harassed at work and then threatened into silence about it?

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Read again, this time within the context of the thread.

[–]organicfluxx1 point2 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

Ah you're a woman, explains a lot.

[–]screenmagnet-2 points-1 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

Nah, the men get harassed (sexually and otherwise) and threatened into silence, too. Doctors are equal opportunity assholes who will harass literally anybody they have power over, and hospitals will break laws to cover for them.

[–]organicfluxx0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

You said you work in a sex shop, where do you get this Info about the medical profession?

[–]screenmagnet1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

I didn’t say I work in a sex shop. I said that I own a sex shop. I don’t work in it; my staff do.

[–]Nighthawkdragon80 points1 point  (11 children) | Copy Link

Good post but you’re wrong about “don’t expect slut to be faithful”... if you have a very very high level of masculine polarity, pretty much every woman will be faithful. But if your polarity is low (which in modern society so many men’s are) she’s pretty likely to cheat.

[–]IvyExcess5 points6 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

You are right when you are right, but being that guy is like being a specialized surgeon. My favorite slut just broke it off with her live-in beta provider, deleted her tinder, and confessed her love, and this chick has taken a Lotta dick. But she never met a guy like me, and I just keep feeding her the right drugs (emotions) and badabababa shes lovin it

[–]Nighthawkdragon82 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Nice. Idk why your comment has down votes.

Yeah Im not even saying I'm at the level of masculine polarity where a girl wouldn't cheat. I think less girls would cheat on me than many other guys, because I don't do really beta stuff like use her as an emotional tampon or act too needy usually with long term girls. But I've seen guys who i just know carry themselves with such a polarity that theres no way a girl(excluding like maybe 5 percent of girls who are just very very fucked up emotionally and cheat for other reasons) would have a reason to cheat on the guy. And thats a level I hope to get to.

Ya in terms of feeding right emotions, I have heard that girls can literally get addicted to emotions. Like good or bad ones, just feeling emotions from a guy. What type of emotions are you feeding her with, and how are you doing it?

One thing il do sometimes is after having a really really fun interaction, or after making out just go like stone cold unreactive and unengaged(like don draper from madmen if you watched that) for no reason, and like act super cut off for like a half hour while she's with me. Just been playing around with it recently. Ive found that the sex is insane when I re engage her, because she feels like she lost me and then had to win me back. Not suggesting to do this, but I have tried it maybe 3 times and its been pretty great every time so far.

[–]PhaedrusHunt0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Heh. My wife loves madmen. I've been too nice to her lately. Maybe I'll try that. Sounds fun.

[–]Nighthawkdragon81 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Lol bruh you shouldn’t have to do that with your wife haha. All you need with wife imo (I’m not married to be fair) is this: make your purpose more important than her, be engaging, don’t vent to her find someone else to do that with. Basically read way of superior man by David D

[–]PhaedrusHunt1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yeah man I already do all that stuff I've never read that book but what I've found is just always put your passions first

Before I got married I told her she'll never be more important than my work. She got upset but I told her hey, that's the thing about me that made you like me in the first place. If I were to change that, I would be another guy, and the whole foundation of our relationship would be gone. She couldn't really argue with it.

So she knows my first wife is my work, my second is BJJ, and she's basically my second side chick.

She also shit tested me about hanging with friends too much so I just doubled down on it. Made her understand I do the things I do to feel good about myself, and THEN the rest comes. If business isn't good, if I'm not training and having a good social life, then I'll be a tired grouch asshole that dries vaginas up like a desert wind. So I just do my thing and stay myself and we good. BUT sometimes I get too nice and she gets a bit complacent. Gotta keep the edge or else turn in your wings like Cougar.

[–]Nighthawkdragon81 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Well damn man sounds like you are one of the rare guys that probably still has a wife that feels a ton of attraction. Good for you honestly

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

if you have a very very high level of masculine polarity, pretty much every woman will be faithful

hahaha no. so much no.

[–]Nighthawkdragon80 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jS1qSD9sJgw

I recommend you check this out. Especially last half.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

He says she's looking around less ..... not that she's not looking and not available.

Tyler and RSD are very blue pill - they don't wanna rock the feminist boat. They talk about how to game girls, never say anything critical of women. They pander to blue pill guys who want to meet "this one special girl". Basically they're following the money.

Being "The Guy" in her life helps, of course it does. But believing that "if you do everything right she will never cheat" is nothing more than wishful thinking.

[–]Nighthawkdragon81 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I never said you gave zero chance of being cheated on. If you don’t engage her, for instance through working too much or traveling too much etc she will cheat for her validation more than anything. And a small percentage of woman will cheat no matter the relationship, and those are woman you should just avoid.

A good example is do you think Brad Pitt has a realistic chance of being cheated on if he’s engaging her? Not that any pua/self help work gets you to that level, just an example to prove a point.

Eh idk if I agree about rsd pandering to get that one girl. In a way yes, their ultimate objective is getting a relationship, but their means for getting their is through getting a harem of hot women, and developing yourself into a stud.

[–]VigilantCMDR21 points22 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

I've been here for abt 2 yrs now, and I think we can all agree that we still learn new things everyday.

What is in your view the most important thing of TRP you would tell someone who just newly swallowed the pill?

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten[S] 64 points65 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

When in doubt, always assume it was your fault and you could have done it differently.

That basic mentality will push you through any obstacle.

[–]Endorsed ContributorFereallyRed[🍰] 25 points26 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Extreme Ownership.

Somebody should write a book, even if he's just a great plowhorse.

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Extreme Ownership.

For those who have not read this book yet, it is worth it

[–]LethalShade6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is a big one but also dangerous. Don't fall victim to self-pity and shame and all that other worthless shit.

The reason this works is that it's about not making yourself a victim. You always have the power to be better and do it better. If you self-pity, it's only another way of victimizing yourself.

[–]novalentineforyou0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Isn't this the opposite of outcome independence?

[–]Project_Zero_Betas-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You assume symmetrical power distribution and information dispersion.

[–]mickey__6 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Tell us about yourself if you can. What led you here? How was your life before/after..

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten[S] 11 points12 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Found TRP a few years back, made a post or two on an old account that did well but didn't really invest time due to work situation.

Have updated and graduated to a much better work/life balance, so created this account a year ago to share knowledge.

TRP connected the dots between a lot of things I knew before, forming a more cohesive ideology. I have learned a lot and become much more consistent in my game.

You can read about my OLTR in this thread to see what you can do when fully unplugged

[–]mickey__0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Thanks,

have you suffered/still suffering from depression/anxiety

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Not since I was a confused, hormonal, anti-social adolescent. Severe depression requires professional help, but until the point of "severe" I strongly recommend copping some MDMA and a close friend.

Take it as soon as the sun sets, have an energetic music playlist ready, and talk and dance it out all night. The euphoria and effects can snap people out.

Depression (aside from legit mental illness) is basically a series of terrible mental habits reinforcing themselves. There is a reason the solution is typically simple.

[–]WalterHuey4 points5 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Any advice for short guys? I am 5'4 well trained, early 20'. But it does not matter what people say here at TRP, height does matter, I have been dissed many times because of my height, most women are taller than me or around the same height. Every woman shit test my height, I always agree and amplify, I am comfortable with my height. I almost never succeed with women. I have tried many "game" techniques etc through out the years but with very little success. I also does not drink alcohol so I more or less never goes to parties or go out. Because of this I feel that I miss alot of the social settings that women are at. I work in a smal military town, very few women, around my age, there where 2 chicks on tinder.

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten[S] 10 points11 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, lots of guys lie and say it doesn't matter. It does. You are just going to have to find a girl that genuinely doesn't have a height requirement, which is a small pond to fish in. They absolutely exist, but The Game forced you to pick Hard Mode. C'est la vie.

My 5'4", balding, stereotypical Jewish looking, mediocre job good friend is with a 6'0" good-looking nerdy blonde. Extreme example but she just didn't have the height requirement. I refer to them as David and Goliath.

[–]WalterHuey1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

It's interesting, I have seen the same, but it is very rare. Most chick want a tall guy it seems. How about the alcohol? Because I dont drink I feel that I miss alot of the social settings that women are at. I work in a smal military town, very few women, around my age, there are 2 chicks on tinder. It is hard.

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten[S] 5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

You don't have to become a hermit. Avoiding social areas isn't helping

[–]WalterHuey1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Well I just do not have the interest to go out, nearest place to go out is an hour drive away. U think I should go out to bars etc even though I do not drink? Also It is kind of weird, cuz a lot of women my age drink a lot, like an alcoholic are over weight, unattractive,tv watching, just like there are a lot of soy boys betas there are few women in good shape, good looking and not dumb. I just dont want to be with that kind of women.

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Be careful you're not using their drinking and stereotypes to create a buffer.

Otherwise you don't have a choice - there are no single women in your living room.

[–]thesquarerootof13 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Should I ask a girl to come to my place on the first date if it goes well ? Or is it standard/customary to wait to do it on the second date ?

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten[S] 18 points19 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

PERSONALLY, I build the sexual tension by making her wait, and also making it clear I'm intentionally doing that. Second date is usually dinner at my place, and if she's down for that.....

I never go for same day lays unless I don't want to see her again. ONS can be a convenient way to politely write each other off, amusingly.

I exclusively go for women I could imagine keeping around a few months.

[–]thesquarerootof12 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Good answer!

[–]MRPthrowaway1231 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

How would you go about making it clear you're intentionally doing so?

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Get her wet, tell her you know she's wet. Escalate a little bit more with neck kissing etc. Then just pull away and tell her you don't fuck on the first date.

Basically run ASD and LMR back on them, but cheeky

[–]lifeisweirdasfuck4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Do you think younger guys (in their early 20's) with little sexual experience should focus on getting an abundance of women first, and then focus on more important shit? Or the opposite?

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Depends. If obsessing about women is holding you back, fucking a few to clear the block is probably the go-to. While you should have been focusing on yourself the whole time, sometimes a band-aid is needed.

Make it about yourself, not the girls. The girls come after you start becoming awesome.

Monk mode is for losers IMO, it is an ego trap to avoid doing the real work of becoming prosocial.

[–]MajesticPitch3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

How on earth do I deal with attention whores + How the fuck do I recover from my shitty experience?

I got into a relationship with this complete attention whore - my first gf too. At first she was great and would fight for my attention and whatnot, eventually she started withdrawing and whatnot. We broke up and I told her I was done. She is now talking to all my friends and even is trying to reel me back in and date all over again. I feel scarred in all honesty. It hurt even talking about this, I feel empty as fuck. I've tried blocking her, but she is in my friends group and when I did block her she just found me and put me back in.

She wants me to fix the relationship, when I blocked her and she found me she said to me irl. "Stop running away from your problems, I'll just drag you back." When I told her I wanted to leave she almost cried.

It's painful to me. I felt like she loves me, but she's just an attention whore. How do I forget this shit? This is my first girlfriend and in all honesty it's just kinda made me scared of girls in general.

Edit:- I read your comments on N count. Yeah she is #1. A serial monogamist. I caught feelings for her, and I'd love to actually fix everything. But I'm being a bitch again. I know I'm sounding like a bitch, because I am acting like one.

[–]SalporinRP1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Your attention is a valuable commodity. You should be giving it sparingly.

How do I forget this shit? This is my first girlfriend and in all honesty it's just kinda made me scared of girls in general.

Your first breakup usually hurts like a bitch. I get it. My first gf cheated on me and the thought of her getting railed by some other dude made me sick to my stomach at the time.

But it will pass. Just try to focus on other shit. Hit the gym, read, hang out with your buddies.

[–]MajesticPitch0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thank you so much

[–]polarizingpotato2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

How do I stop being a shy little bitch and break out of my shell? I can’t seem to change my personality

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten[S] 31 points32 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Your personality isn't what you change - you have bad habits that reinforce your negative behavior and keep you stuck in the loop. Change your habits - that's all human beings are. A series of habits.

[–]nonick1232 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks for that, really needed it.

[–]TRP VanguardHumanSockPuppet19 points20 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

There is no such thing as personality. You are your repeated behaviours. Literally.

If you want to be someone else, do what that person would do. Everyone else will perceive you as that person. It will take your mind a little longer to catch up, but eventually it will too.

[–]gjproflip1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Well said.

[–]IronPollack081 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

What was your breakthrough moment after you discovered TRP that made you be able to do the necessary things that are learned in TRP? Pulling, holding frame, not give a fuck attitude etc.

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I had already learned a number of things on my own/the hard way before discovering and internalizing TRP, so I never had a breakthrough moment per se. Most guys don't, actually. They just gradually get better until they have reached competency.

TRP was the connective tissue between a lot of things I learned on how to deal with women - it helped add some "why" to the things I did that worked. It also helped me be more consistent with my game.

[–]Endorsed ContributorFereallyRed[🍰] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It is telling when I can answer the post just by reading the title 90% of the time.

[–]coolredpill0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

i may be mistaking you for a different EC, but aren't you an attorney?

im starting law school in the fall and was wondering if you had any tips or guides regarding the legal career

and i have like 2 specific questions about it but since im not sure if you are a lawyer ill hold off on those for now

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

I'm not, but have worked very extensively with attorneys throughout my career. Shoot, I can probably answer.

[–]coolredpill0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

what's your opinion on money vs time in a job? by that, do you value the flexibility of job schedule more or do you think it's worth it to work long hours even on weekends for a good $$

one of my friends is already an attorney for about a year now, and he told me he'd work from 9am to 2-3am on most days, even on weekends. he also told me he got a promotion about a year before others normally do, so he's pretty happy about it, but im not sure if such grinding jobs are worth it in the end

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Being a biglaw associate, big 4 mgmt consultant, or investment banking analyst is a trade-off. You will get absolutely worked over for the first 7ish years and then make the VP/Director/Counsel title and dial it back to 60-70hrs a week.

For law specifically, you only have 1 traditional track to stay on - partner. I don't think that trade is worth it. Too little equity to go around nowadays. I do think biglaw associate is a perfectly viable starting path, however. Starting salary at the white shoe firms is $190k and bonus schedules are competitive and quasi-standardized You'll make $300k by your 4th year or sooner on an all-in basis (base plus bonus).

You will also have no life. I fully believe law associates have the worst lifestyle of ANYONE in the white collar world. Control your lifestyle, however, and you can swim in savings, decamp to go in-house somewhere, and buy a house.

[–]coolredpill0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Thank you for the detailed response.

My 2nd question is regarding my race. I'm Asian-American (US Citizen now) and despite how liberal the country is getting in terms of ethnicity and Kpop everywhere and shit, im concerned if my race will be a disadvantage for the legal field, esp in the East coast. highly considering relocating to the west coast but id rather not if possible

i know this may be out of scope for you but any opinion on the matter would be appreciated

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Asian is the best represented minority in law firms but that's largely because "Asian" conflates a lot of ethnic backgrounds. You'll still be fine

[–]Classy_Amir0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

What style would you encourage our readers to follow? As for me, I always wear formal attires (at least as formal as the occasion allows me to be). For example, I was out today with my cousin for lunch and I had a blazer and an ascot (felt like a tie would be overdoing it). I would much appreciate your thoughts on style and especially formal wear.

Thank you for your time!

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten[S] 16 points17 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I have my own tailor who flies in from overseas to do US visits a few times a year. $900ish for two suits and two shirts fully custom shipped. Find yourself that guy, or if you're near any major east coast city I can refer you (you'll need to bring at least 5 others who will make a buy to get him to visit, unless you're already somewhere he goes).

I only wear ties to work when LPs are around, otherwise I'm the best dressed guy everywhere I go. I'll wear a suit just about anywhere it's appropriate. Where it's NOT appropriate would be clubs, anywhere there is dancing besides weddings, outdoor occasions, and house parties.

As far as style, anyone can look good by picking up the following:

  • Brown leather shoes and belt

  • Levi's that fit appropriately and are cut to your liking (straight leg, skinny, whatever, match your body type and style)

  • Banana republic or similar fitted v neck T-shirt in a few neutral colors

  • Sport coat

Congrats, you are now out-dressing 90% of dudes out and about.

Bold move on the ascot, I would look weird in one but if you are dark skinned or more of an expressive/creative type it is an excellent accessory.

[–]boolDozer3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Great answer. It's very easy to dress better than 90% of all other guys (and it's not by wearing a suit everywhere; dress to the occasion). My 3 golden rules:

  1. Learn to buy clothes that fit
  2. Wear solid, neutral colors with minimal patterns (don't look like a highlighter or a farmer)
  3. Brown > black (black is for funerals or tuxedos, brown with everything else)

I strongly believe that the structure of your face (inherit attractiveness) is FAR less important if you can do number 1 correctly. I have personally shown ass-ugly dudes how to buy pants, and it changes their life. Spend time on this - it's important (or helpful, at the very least).

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

100% on rule number one. You could be in Gap clothes that fit your physique and do just fine.

[–]Classy_Amir1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thank you for your reply. I 100% agree with you, but V-necks are not my cup of tea. I simply can't pull it off. If others can, then by all means, they look GREAT!

I have my own tailor as well. He's a local, trained in Paris and charges $200. Tomorrow is my first fitting actually (a double breasted gray suit). A brown pair if oxfords or Derby is a must as well, can't go wrong with this (and here's my advice to you: learn to mirror shine it. Then you're out-dressing the best-dressed men.)

PS: I don't know why I always imagined RedPill members to be dressed as douchebags and bragging "I have my own style." Your comment changed my perspective completely

[–]obey_kush1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I have read a very good advice about this before.

"Whenever you are going, imagine how your average dork is going to get dressed and try to be always one step ahead", if they use normal pants and baggy shirts, you just get them suited to your body and wear a nice watch, aside from confidence this will make you stand out from the heard, without being a clown.

[–]SovietRussiaBot1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

you just get them

In Soviet Russia, them just get you!

this post was made by a highly intelligent bot using the advanced yakov-smirnoff algorithm... okay, thats not a real algorithm. learn more on my profile.

[–]Notagain63520 points1 point  (8 children) | Copy Link

How old are you? What do you do for a living?

[–]Notagain63520 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy Link

nvm i thought it was a 'get to know' the ECs lmao.

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten[S] 1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

I am sort of doing an AMA at this point

I'm somewhere around my 30s and am part of a team that invests in global infrastructure. Can't reveal too much for obvious reasons unfortunately, would love to share more.

[–]Notagain63522 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

What would you say a 22 year old needs to prioritize at this age?

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten[S] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Finish college or vocational school and get an entry level position in a career track. Not a bullshit job. This should come before literally everything else.

[–]Project_Zero_Betas0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Does 9501 mean anything to you?

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Tokyo Electric Power Co

[–]Project_Zero_Betas0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

;-)

[–]Final_Pantasy0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

What do you do when you get burned out on spinning plates? I've tried finding a good girl for a shorter committed relationship, but I meet maybe one girl a year I'd consider that with because they're all not LTR material in LA. I don't want to ghost and lose all interest from my plates just to have to start back from zero and go on the hunt for more girls. Living in LA, it feels like if I'm not banging them at least weekly, all interest is lost and we never see each other again because of the high availability of very high SMV men here.

I feel like I can't just go monk mode, either. I'm on TRT and that thing puts my sex drive through the roof. I go angry BP mode when I don't get fucked for more than a few days.

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten[S] 4 points5 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Almost all women will lose interest if you're not fucking them regularly. They'll think YOU lost interest and move on.

You can read about my OLTR in this thread to get a picture of my setup.

I would also say I only meet 2-3 girls a year that are LTR material, because there are a bunch that are hot and interesting enough to ride my ride but have some fatal flaw or fuck it up. Very few women are worth commitment. Knowing this is a good thing.

[–]Final_Pantasy0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Another question,

I've got a plate that tells me about her other dates, that they kiss, "but I'm only fucking you RN". I act indifferent, deflect, or if she asks me "Does that annoy you or make you upset?" I just say, "Why would it, have you done something that would be upsetting?", but she's catching on to my bullshit and wants some serious answers, comfort, and "feelz" from me. Of course I don't like hearing about that shit or want some girl I'm fucking, monogomously or not, to be meeting other men, but I keep the old BP stashed inside. I get Questions like "Why do you like being around me?" I answer your tits, the sex, blah blah, but she's tired of those answers. She does not want an LTR with me, yet, and I will never with her because she thinks life is like the bachelorette and she needs to date and kiss 20 guys before she makes a choice because she thinks she's the prize, but still wants to feel that comfort from me.

I save that kind of stuff for LTRs, but still want to keep this plate around for her 5'2", 120 lb, Double D body on my dick.

What would you do/say?

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten[S] 5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

A&A runs out of steam because you are incorrectly using it for comfort tests. Comfort tests are the yin to the yang of shit tests - she doesn't want them to be swatted away, you need to calm her feelz without supplicating.

Just as the masculine is lacking without the feminine, the feminine doesn't have an identity without the masculine. This is the core of intersexual dynamics. The more alike men and women are, the more we lose our gender identities and the more we don't play well together.

Be that contrast. The more you fulfill your masculine role (and that will be different for every man), the easier you make it for her to fill her feminine role.

See Poon 9:

IX. Connect with her emotions

Set yourself apart from other men and connect with a woman’s emotional landscape. Her mind is an alien world that requires deft navigation to reach your rendezvous. Frolic in the surf of emotions rather than the arid desert of logic. Be playful. Employ all your senses. Describe in lush detail scenarios to set her heart afire. Give your feelings freedom to roam. ROAM. Yes, that is a good word. You’re not on a linear path with her. You are ROAMING all over, taking her on an adventure. In this world, there is no need to finish thoughts or draw conclusions. There is only need to EXPERIENCE. You’re grabbing her hand and running with her down an infinite, labyrinthine alleyway with no end, laughing and letting your fingers glide on the cobblestone walls along the way.

Practically speaking, her talking about other dudes is a shit test. Fine to AA and swat that stuff. When she is talking about HERSELF in context of you it's typically a comfort test. Describe what you like about her in the language of emotion.

[–]themun950 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Noob question but what does AA mean

[–]Project_Zero_Betas1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Agree and Amplify

[–]LifeIsGreat170 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy Link

What is your advice to a guy that returns after 6 months of not approaching (where I live is nearly impossible, only a few parties)

Now in summer there are more parties and I will attend them

Last summer was my first time doing approaches and did good IMO, but this time I feel like I don’t have the same hype to actually meet girls and enjoy them

What is your opinion on this? I will approach to simply get out of my comfort zone, but I feel like it won’t be the same like last summer, thank you in advance

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten[S] 2 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Some good basics in my post here for going out

Are you currently spinning plates or don't have any?

[–]LifeIsGreat170 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

No, I am not right now

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten[S] 9 points10 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

OK - enjoyment of gregarious activity is a muscle. The weaker it is, the less you like it. The fastest way to get re-accustomed is to talk with literally everyone and make it a game. Can you make a cashier's day?

Once you can get in the mental frame of treating it like a sport, the fun will return to it. The more Super Serious it becomes, the worse you come off and the less you enjoy it.

Don't be afraid to "date down" a little at first

[–]LifeIsGreat170 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

yeah, my parents have a supermarket, so I will be a cashier there for sure.

Yeah! that's what I want to acheve, I think that the last months I have been more serious than before, but I still can't understand how to see it like that, can you give me some more advice on that? On treating it like the game it is?

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

When you were born, you were given a terminal diagnosis. You have been infected with Life, and are now guaranteed to die at some point.

Life is meaningless, nobody (especially women) give a fuck about anything but the value you provide to them, and nothing you do really matters in the long run.

This unavoidable reality will set you free if you embrace it. Get rejected by a girl? Who cares, clock is ticking and there are 3,499,999,999 more.

[–]LifeIsGreat170 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thank you for your advice man, I will start to think and take action based on that

[–]SaintRose690 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Optimistic Nihilism at it's finest

[–]CrazyHedgehog10 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

What to do when a women gives you iois, you approach then get the phone number, and then they ghost. Later, you see them walking around and they give more iois again. So as not to feel needy I tend to ignore them after this, but they would never reinitiate contact.

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Something is wrong with your game, specifically the number close itself. Give me a detailed story of how this all went down. I'll give a detailed response.

[–]CrazyHedgehog11 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I can think off the top of my head 2 scenarios in which case my texting got me no where. I am relatively young, done some approached but have time to do a lot more.

  1. Some girl gave me really strong IOIs in a line for food, but I other than looking back the first few times decided not to approach during line (but rather after). She sat in some awkward place after so I just went and grabbed my seat, but she came right next to me so figured might as well say hi. The conversation went ok, but I could tell through body language that she was nervous. Eyes darting around, constricted pupils. However, I believe my SMV was higher than hers, so i dont think there is a smv mismatch at all. I got her number, she gave it rather quickly, then I texted her later saying nice to meet you. (Quick question: When a girl gives you more than just her first name when writing her number, is she implying your high status/ knows you have many options?) Well, she didnt respond to the message after that so I assumed she wasnt interested (connecting to body language observed). However, I did occasionally talk to this chick while walking by, but very casual. Overtime I see she tries to get attention, leaves at the same time as I do, and generally tries to get me to say hi. But I am not some orbiter, and she doesnt even have high enough SMV for me to be interested. I am asking more for the psychological aspect.
  2. Met a girl at an interview place, but the likelihood of both of us getting the job was minimal so I thought I could approach in a lighthearted way. To be fair, I sat in an empty row and she sat right next to me so I started the conversation. Decent conversation, but then my friends joined me to my other side so I started talking to them leaving her alone (lmao, couldnt really think of how to incorporate her to the conversation). We do our interviews, then as I am leaving I notice her walking out in the same direction as I am going to. I continue the conversation, get her name again, and seems to be going well. I drop a accidental sexual innuendo as I am getting her number, I believe she took it that way because she started to fix her hair or something (something about opening her up to get to know her better). I text the girl, she seems happy to get a message and has a decently fast response time. Here is where I think I messed up. I didn't build enough rapport, I asked her second text message if she wants to hang out tomorrow she says I have plans. Then I sent a needy text message saying thats ok, maybe we could hang out next week(here I think all attraction was lost). I tried to reinitiate, short responses with long timing so i stopped texting. This girl is not as apparent as the first one in her iois, but I feel as if she may somewhat still be interested after seeing me arounf with my friends sometimes.

I personally hate re approaching, or texting in general, as I feel it is a huge power play. I do have relatively high SMV, but my biggest problem is seeming uninterested unless at social events (I keep my eyes straight even if I know someone is looking at me). Thanks for the advise.

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

For number one, you weren't that into the girl. Believe it or not, they can pick up on that. She wasn't going to engage with a guy who at best was just looking for AT BEST some easy validation and a casual bang.

Number two - you are correct, need to establish more of a baseline (even a little one) and ask her out a few days in advance. I usually ask them on a scale of 10 how much they like cute animals (it's always 10) and then send them some dumb shit.

You signaled the wrong things by immediately agreeing to a new date and trying to see her the next day. When you send the date request make it SPECIFIC. "You. Me. Shenanigans Thursday at 7pm for happy hour" If she's legitimately not free but into you she'll make it easy to find a date that works. Be persistent and get the date set, then tell her you are headed to the gym or whatever and drop it.

I plan dates 3-5 days in advance. I sporadically sent little nothings like aforementioned cute animal pictures to keep my spark bright, and confirm the morning of and then again as I'm leaving. That's sales 101

[–]redblueninja0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Lifting is fun because results are quick, it's always under my control and only I'm accountable for the failures, I have a certain idea of what my goal is and how to get there.

How do I recreate that fun in social progression. It's tough to measure, not entirely under my control and when guys like Whisper and HumanSockPuppet say to try and experiment with the tools provided by trp, what do those things mean precisely, not to be an aspie, but is it like try teasing people different way, try holding eye contact longer and see differences or something else?

Also I'm boring and find other people boring, how do I care enough to create meaningful relationships with colleagues and acquaintances when I dont really care if they died tomorrow.

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten[S] 5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I'm boring

This is problem numero uno that needs to get fixed before anything else. You need to develop irrational self confidence. You should be waking up every day, looking in the mirror, and say "that motherfucker is handsome."

Everything is irrelevant until you decide you are awesome. Don't focus on anything else for now.

[–]mojokabobo0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

I live in NE in a city of ~900 people. I'm moving to a city of ~100k people next month. Any tips on what I absolutely need to be doing in my new environment?

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Starting a new job or something? Need some context on the move

[–]nofap58780 points1 point  (9 children) | Copy Link

For someone who has had a lot of trouble getting off the ground with weight lifting (imbalances etc.) scared to injure myself, what would you suggest besides watching videos? I am going to a Starting Strength Coach Monday and I am excited.

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten[S] 2 points3 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

Find the biggest scariest looking dudes and the gym that are in a group. Wait for a beat in the conversation and say "what's up. I'm [name]. I am having trouble getting off the ground with weight lifting (imbalances etc.) scared to injure myself, what would you suggest?"

Congrats you now have free personal trainers who will boost the fuck out of you.

[–]nofap58780 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy Link

Thank you. What are your opinions on no fap? Is it ok to browse subreddits with clothed girls on it but not masturbate? (I know that seems silly but I have been doing it on no fap). I am planning on having sex for the first time in 1 week and saving up.

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten[S] 0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

Never been an issue for me, can't really help

[–]nofap58780 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

Alirght, idk if you are still doing this but if you are, what would you say to this text next?

https://imgur.com/a/vxEzmot

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

"We'll see. What's the story on [thing in profile]?"

Going to gym can answer on my phone for a bit

[–]nofap58780 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Haha alright

https://imgur.com/a/fHlWWDt

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Brag back about some vacation you had in one sentence.

[–]nofap58780 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I think she might be bisexual, feel free to stop helping whenever you want heres what she said.

https://imgur.com/a/r3mUTtJ

EDIT: I'll tell you what I would say if you didn't help on this one:

Are you bi

subject change?

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Tell her it seems like you enjoy the same type of fun. Tell her you want to validate your suspicion at [place, date and time]. Not earlier than Tuesday, but you can offer Sunday late afternoon if the first time doesn't match.

Time to close

[–]dannybsurf0 points1 point  (15 children) | Copy Link

I’m extremely good looking (not to be arrogant, girls say I look like Zac Efron almost every day). Everywhere I go I get whistles and cat calls from girls and guys.

My question is do you think being overly confident might push some girls away? I notice sometimes if I’m too confident, girls become intimidated. They sometimes don’t want anything to do with me because they know I can have any girl i want and usually tell me this.

Do you think it’s better to be a little shy and mysterious? Or own my looks and let them be intimated?

The thing is I’m naturally very introverted but sometimes they still automatically think I’m a doushbag

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten[S] 2 points3 points  (14 children) | Copy Link

Everyone will assume you are a douche, that's a good sign you are actually physically attractive. My favorite "compliment" on 1st dates is "wow, you know when we first met I thought you were going to be a total douche, we'd bang and never talk after. But you're actually really cool!"

I'm sure in her mind that sounded nice. Also thanks for telling me you were ready to fuck me at minute five of our relationship.

Anyway.....the answer is unequivocally YES, overt confidence will be anxiety inducing or a turnoff for your prospects. However, "shy" is never what you want to project, instead "more of yourself".

If you had to choose a sentence to describe your personality, what would you say? What adjectives would you use?

[–]FamishedAttorney 1 points [recovered]  (5 children) | Copy Link

I have this exact same problem and have asked about it on this forum before so I’m gonna hijack this thread.

My most recent ex-FWB who I met on tinder said something similar on the first date: “My friends all told me to be careful with you but wow you actually seem like a good guy...and that is scary.”

Anyways, I had a massive spike in SMV that started around 4 years ago when I landed a high income job and simultaneously shed my body fat after years of heavy lifting that finally revealed the aesthetic face and muscles underneath. Many other factors as well, but I now easily put myself in the top 5% of men in a city with lots of hot girls and male competition.

My problem is that prior to this SMV spike, I was actually more successful with women. Girls that were 6s and 7s were receptive to my advances, but I wasn’t even on the radar of 8s and 9s. Now it’s the opposite - I’m on the hot girl’s radar, but 6s and 7s almost seem insulted when I talk to them. But the issue is that since I never had the SMV to be around hot girls growing up, there’s a huge incongruence between my looks/status and my game. And the hot girls smell that shit instantly somehow.

So what’s ended up happening is 6s and 7s meet my advances with hostility, so I no longer get laid with them. And 8s and 9s sense something is not quite right. Truthfully, I don’t think it’s an issue of frame or neediness. But I do believe there’s something I just “don’t get” when it comes to gaming 8s and 9s. I’m trying to nail that down. Because when I tell my friends I haven’t gotten laid in 3 months, they genuinely don’t believe me. They see the IOIs I get when I walk in a room and assume I fuck on the daily.

Sorry, there’s not really a concrete question here, but I’d love to hear any thoughts you have and if others have similar issues.

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten[S] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

You're running 6 and 7 game on 8s and 9s. Your game needs work and you are still supplicating the hot girls, which is why they can smell your weakness and wave you off.

Read this and REALLY internalize it

https://www.reddit.com/r/TheRedPill/comments/4upkmf/uncle_vasyas_guide_on_dating_models/

You can't go back to urban 6s and 7s, sorry. They won't trust you for anything beyond ONS and will be in panic/defense mode. City girls have mega giga ASD/suspicion from the lifestyle. You can still bag them but they will be so fucking annoying, "do you like me/love me" and "I just don't understand how I got so lucky/why you're with me" times 100000000000

I remember when this happened to me, I used to go on 1st dates that would go really well, then get (usually drunk) messages before the 2nd about "I can't do this, you're just so out of my league I can't put myself through that".

I was fucking flabbergasted.

[–]FamishedAttorney 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy Link

It’s absolutely mind blowing how girls say the exact same lines. My last FWB who was a 7 said almost exactly that - “I don’t know how I got so lucky and why you even hang out with me.” Makes you realize how scientific, but also non-scientific all this is.

Maybe I’m being hardheaded, but I absolutely do not think I’m supplicating. If anything, I might be over correcting by being too aloof, sarcastic and cocky, and perhaps that comes off as disingenuous. I don’t know if any advice will help me without knowing my situation holistically...think I gotta work this one out myself. But thank you I appreciate the response.

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

The thing is, putting on cocky without it being genuine is another form of supplication. It's treating her differently because she is hot.

[–]Project_Zero_Betas0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

So what’s ended up happening is 6s and 7s meet my advances with hostility, so I no longer get laid with them. And 8s and 9s sense something is not quite right. Truthfully, I don’t think it’s an issue of frame or neediness. But I do believe there’s something I just “don’t get” when it comes to gaming 8s and 9s. I’m trying to nail that down.

The 6s and 7s feel that because of the game you project, they don't have a realistic chance at getting a commitment from you. It's literally a case of where your SMV is too high.

[–]Project_Zero_Betas0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

Anyway.....the answer is unequivocally YES, overt confidence will be anxiety inducing or a turnoff for your prospects.

Isn't this only the case where the girl reads your insane level of confidence as a signal that she has no chance of locking you down in a relationship?

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten[S] 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

They all want to lock you down. Hypergamy is Monogamy. True hoes are in phases or so crazy you should stay away

[–]Project_Zero_Betas0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

Right but I'm talking about specific instances where overt confidence actually decreases your chances of getting with them.

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

I suppose. I don't analyze my rejections much lately because my game and SMV are enough to catch anything. Lack of attraction is usually a mismatch on her end, not mine

[–]Project_Zero_Betas0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

You use the same game on 10s as you do on 5s?

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I don't engage with anything below an 8 sexually unless I want something free or discounted

[–]Project_Zero_Betas0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

So your sample size is skewed. Must be nice. But can confirm that despite having no problems getting IOIs from 10s, those below 8 now constantly barrage me with looks of scorn and contempt.

[–]dannybsurf0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Makes a lot of sense. I would say that I am mysterious, creative, sarcastic, goofy. Once girls get to know me they say exactly what you said, “at first I thought you were a total doushe but once I got to know you I can’t believe how cool you are.” And of course we usually fuck.

But like you said, sometimes girls can’t get it out of their head that I’m a doushe without getting to know me and sometimes it feels like such an uphill battle.

[–]jackandjill220 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

lmao I don't have the former or the latter. & only go out when my friends & I have something interesting to do. There are parties every damn day. Going out for no reason just bores me.

[–]I-am-ed0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

hey sir, i just gotta ask. Have you ever just lost interest towards someone that you were pining over for a long time? (Probably the younger you) once the relationship starts or when they reciprocate the feelz. Like you just uncontrollably disgusted?

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Uncontrollably disgusted? Nah. That's extreme.

However, I do find myself being on what's usually the girl's end of The Lightswitch Effect (on sidebar, must read material). I was seeing a fabulously wealthy (3 comma family) upper class brunette maiden. She was surprisingly normal, which is rare at that level of wealth. Sex was good, we split all the dates, couldn't have really asked for more.

I woke up one day and was just like "nah." Told her let's see other people and gave zero closure cause I was just completely uninterested.

That's more my style

[–]I-am-ed0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

nice.

ill be a lot more "nah" than "man i gotta fix this feeling".

[–]Chunt2526 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy Link

Alright I have a question for something that happened today

So I (24M) was dating (24F) for a couple months and I was blue pulled as fuck and I wanted commitment so bad and ignored every red flag she had and her very high n count. I thought I could fix her and we ended up not being in a relationship and went no contact. I literally found this sub the day after we ended it and I’ve since deleted her on social media and haven’t made contact since, and have gathered several plates.

She texted me today and it seemed really random and I don’t believe in coincidences. We made small talk and then she hit me with “so do you have a girl yet?” And I figured this is why she texted me, and I answered with “I have women that wish they were my girl but nah just having fun right now” and she hasn’t responded.

She could be working or something but I’m pretty sure she isn’t going to respond, based on knowing her. So my question is what was the point of her reaching out like that/what are her intentions and did I handle it correctly?

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You need to stop obsessing over a girl that wouldn't date you and move the fuck on

Closure is for women. Get over yourself (yes this is your ego making you ask me for "meaning"), who gives a shit about this girl?

[–]bestsparkyalive0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Funny how simply our problems can begin to be solved

[–]PM_Me_anything_Bored0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

​

Hi u/itiswr1tten How to get over this feeling of loneliness

Long post.

I Broke up with my Girl Friend and I have gone no contact with her. We ended things on nice terms I can't give you full details but I don't hate her , she still occasionally text me , I don't reply her but deep down there I want to talk to her.

I don't know but this breakup has been pretty hard on me.

I have a night shift so there is no one to talk to just me and a computer. When I don't have any work i start missing her.

I went to movies with friends this weekend and seeing happy couples there just killed me, I don't know why but I started missing her.And this feeling of loneliness can be triggered by anything , I saw a beautiful ring online and and I started missing her and whenever I miss her I fall into depression .
Before you suggest go and lift , I can't. I have a back injury and doctor have strictly advised me against any lifting or exercise.

I used to run and it was like meditation for me , sadly I can't even do that now. I tried mediation and yoga at home but it's too slow for me. I can't do it

Right now I don't want to make another Girl Friend , I want to focus on my mission. But even that seems to be lost to me. Before breakup I used to enjoy learning science, coding. There was a sense of wonder inside me, I loved reading books but after breakup I can't seems to find anything I can enjoy .
I can't even find my purpose my meaning, sometimes I just want to end my life. That is also a part of reason I don't want to make a new Girl Friend because problem lies within me. I missing my ex is just a reflection of all my problems within me.
Any advice will be appreciated

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You're stuck in depression. It lasts for awhile and then you get over it. Continue to improve your habits and get back into fitness when you are healthy.

[–]dgnahc0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Currently swallowed the pill for three years and have lifted to achieve a great physique (swimmer-like body with 6-pack abs, chiseled jawline, picked up Muay Thai, and DJing part time while finishing a stem degree at my university). Basically I’ve improved my circumstances enormously since then.

The prospect I’m seeing right now (from her words) had 1 previous bf, in which supposedly I took her first kiss and virginity. She has all the green flags listed down by Occamsusername. Very feminine (dances), traditional background, very little use of social media, dresses conservatively, intellectually stimulating and has her shit together. Knowing this, my skepticism/bullshit meter is high, cause I’ve never encountered a girl with said traits.

I’m also simultaneously seeing another chick to not catch oneitis and am in the process of plating her.

Despite all that, I’ve never been in an LTR before and was wondering if I should consider one, to go through heartbreak, and to experience it for myself. What I’ve gathered is AWALT, unicorns don’t exist and that I should continue to chase excellence.

How long should I vet before I give away my commitment? Should I just continue to plate her for as long as possible and keep my options open? Am I just overthinking and have started to revert back to bp conditioning?

[–]WellShit230 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Currently about to start my 2nd year at University. I have a scholarship that pays for tuition + books and I live at home so I have minimal expenses. I'm trying to go down a pre-med path or maybe a pre-pa and while I like those things they're not my passion, I love history and writing far more, but I believe that most wont have a profitable career in those fields.

I'm starting to have 2nd thoughts about the pre med path though, it takes up so many years (entire 20s sometimes early 30s) and I'm not sure if I wanna make that commitment

So my question is, what advice would you give regarding my situation?

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Don't commit to something only to be debt ridden and miserable later. Also, don't quit on a promising career if you're good at it.

You're never going to "love" your job. But you can be fulfilled and free with the revenue it produces.

[–]ColdBeing0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Did I seem butthurt?

Got her snap and was talking to this girl. Tried setting a date with her but she doesn't find out her schedule until the weekend.

I message her asking if she found out her schedule yet and she replies "I dont think it's a good idea for me to continue messaging you because I'm talking to someone and that's unfair to them"

I reply with "how long were you talking to him before me?"

She replies "a couple weeks"

I reply "that's on you. A couple weeks isn't anything"

She reads my message, doesn't reply and then removes me from snap.

What do you think?

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It be like that sometimes. She wasn't attracted enough

[–]SpluGoroth0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Have you ever experienced performance anxiety or psychological ED with plates and how would you recommend building back the confidence to get out of my head and slay like i used to?

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yes. I was hung up on an ex about 1.5yrs ago and went through a phase where I struggled with mental ED.

I got over it by reconnecting with an old one from awhile back that had shifted to a friend situation, told her the story, and we basically had a "get itiswr1tten's mojo back" fuck or 3. Just needed something familiar.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This wouldn't matter if you were maintaining sexual relationships with multiple women.

^ Always a fave.

I also like the one abt not shoving dynamite up your ass. Very important.

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K180 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Nice work, u/itiswr1tten

How would you describe your approach and game style?

Always good to hear from EC's on this. I always wonder if guys try to do too much in the initial approach. As in, they want to show everything right away, instead of having a more laid back, casual approach.

Your thoughts?

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

My style of dress and look are pretty GQ formal. I usually roll solo or in a large mixed gender group.

When solo I'm usually hitting upscale bars. I'll find a group of 2 or more and position myself next to them, banter with the bartender a little, then just invite myself into the conversation when they eavesdrop. I tend to go places the staff know me.

In mixed groups you can invite groups of girls or other mixed groups to your table at clubs. I'll usually fetch the groups so I get some social proof from "leading" them to us. I'll then put my hand around the back of the one I want to talk to and sit her next to me.

Attitude is usually aloof but asking her questions. Once I can isolate to some extent (dance floor or corner of the section works fine) I'll flip the switch into shamelessly sexual. I'll always go for a gratuitous touch of some kind before isolating - that's insurance you didn't misread the attraction.

[–]PincheeWhey0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Advice for introverts? I have a really bad "resting bitch face syndrome" I look unapproachable to both men and women. Any advice?

[–]tranquil_af0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

How do you make a girl pay for the date?

[–]kayfab0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

pretty good i love it thank you for the article this one girl.

[–]askmrcia0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Do you guys get massages? If so do you let guys massage you or girls? And does it matter?

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I get pro massages regularly. I prefer women but will take a man if no one is free. Tui-na style only

[–]civilizedfrog0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Would you bang a cutie who works in the same building but for a different company? Or is that shitting where you eat?

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I would. I have. I have and I would

[–]RedHoodhandles0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Awalt and nothing is permanent so why even bother. What's your view on vetting women for LTR status/ giving a damn about n-count?

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Nihilism is for wimps. Treat your women like the glass. Even though it is already broken, there is much to enjoy in the interim.

Here are my general thoughts on N count

[–]I-am-ed-1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

well about this summer, i sort of felt anxious that there is a huge chance that i will be in the same block (class/section) with the woman i fucked around and somehow broke her heart. kinda ended okay. (?) Should i just not gaf or somehow be playful?

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten[S] 3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

What are you worried about, her blowing up your reputation?

Don't be afraid of women. You do you and Just Be Cool. No need to make amends

[–]I-am-ed0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

well i sort of broke the rule of the dont shit where you eat. I may not be as comfortable as i would want to. yeah i sound stupid and young hahaha im new to this trp thing. thanks, ill try to be cool

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Don't worry about it. She's just a girl. Even if she gets bitchy just pull the Bill Clinton classic.

"Mistakes Were Made"

Never apologize for doing you

[–]i-am-the-prize-1 points0 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I think I'll go outside and walk during lunch hour... talk to a few honeys.

Have found that talk-flirting even if not trying to bang (I'm in an LTR/MRP) is fun and does help confidence. So item 1 - even for LTR guys, is worth it, if even platonicaly. I see some guys picking/choosing what to do/not do from the established RP lists. To each his own. I'm doing the whole sidebar (only 90 days in now) figuring, why re-invent the wheel. Once I do it all and reflect, I will re-calibrate; but for now, even if I don't cheat/daybang/actually keep numbers (catch-release only) I'll be more confident because of it. And because of it, I know I truly do have an abundance mentality which allows me to STFU, withdraw my attention to correct/lead behavior, and maintain frame when dealing with the domestic bliss known as wife 1.0

[–]dream-hunter 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy Link

Took me 16 tries to understand what you wrote.

[–]i-am-the-prize0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

the first line was an homage to his 3 points...

the paragraph was a MRP interpretation of point #1 (i'm not sexual with multiple women, i'm married and so far faithful) but have found that being able to open and approach even for the sport of it aids in my confidence and frame - so it doesn't have to be sexual-ends-only to have benefits.

[–]Red_Pill_Brotherhood0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I understood it perfectly in 1 read. What he means is that he is going through the sidebar right now. He is in an LTR and approaches women and gets numbers just for the abundance mindset to keep his mind right during the LTR.

[–]Earthonaturtle-1 points0 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

Where to approach in the suburbs? OLD is out

[–]Persaeus1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Grocery store is great

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten[S] 0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

Why is OLD out

Are you of drinking age

[–]Earthonaturtle0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

Legal reasons

I don’t drink

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten[S] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Give me something to work with or I'm going to assume you are a sex offender. Post history says you were married. Are you still married/in the mandatory separation stage?

No info=no advice

[–]Earthonaturtle0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

For sure. There are no sex offenses here. I’m in the mandatory separation stage post marriage and basically I can date so long as it’s discreet, (IE:there’s no paper trail)

My problem comes in at I live in a family oriented community people in my age group are few and far between. I’m 22 and most of the girls I run into when out and about are either obviously high school aged or in their 30’s.

Is long term monk mode my only option until I’m at a place financially where I can move? Or do I need to learn how to game housewives?

I get it’s a numbers game, but with online dating being a no go, and attractive available women few and far between, my pipeline is narrow to say the least.

Thanks for the help

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Do not fuck with your lawyer's advice. 6mos is a good time to get your shit together. This is probably the only time I would recommend monk mode, wow. It's kind of perfect.

DO NOT FUCK WITH YOUR LAWYER'S ADVICE.

[–]Earthonaturtle0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I appreciate the feedback chief I’m about to pour my pent up energy into my purpose then

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Not a question, reported

[–]redalterego-2 points-1 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Do you like chess

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If there is a board in the bar or country club I will always play one round. I'm not very good.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2024. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter