Find some pics of a crash looking long haired Chad with stubble and say in the bio that you're one of his care givers, that he was found by hunters in the wilderness he was leading a pack of wolves, it's taken them years to tame him to some degree (can't speak only bark, growl and howel, probably won't bite you, may or may not piss on you, favourite food is peanut butter, etc.), and they are trying to find some adult companionship for him.