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17

Shit test pass (self.askMRP)

submitted by thelonghop

Keeping this short, but it took me way too long in life to recognize a shit test. I knew my wife was likely in the mood (ovulating) and we'd spent some quality time together, so I was very open about making my desires clear and she was amenable. Then the shit tests began. Often I would fuck this up and cause a fight, or agree, or whatever to not piss her off. This time I took whatever she said and acted like I misheard her or agreed and amplified. She doesn't like beer and I just drank one so now she smells my beer breath? Yeah, this is a lager, next I'm going to drink a stout to breathe on you, and you let me know which you like better. She says something about I'm selfish? Hey, I'm not a shellfish! I don't sing and dance with a mermaid under the sea. Just ridiculous stuff and it cut right through her shit tests and soon she was smiling and ready.


[–]helaughsinhidden12 points13 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Dad jokes are beginner level. When you agree and amplify try to do it in such a way she actually thinks you are serious. The longer it takes for her to realize you've messed with her the better. Dad jokes just don't have the lasting pressure flip I like to get.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I've found the best responses are when she won't ever know one way or another if you're serious or messing with her.

[–]umizumiz5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

"Do I seriously have to suck his dick to get into the fridge?"

This is where wives should be.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The tests get more complex, The more of them you pass. Its evolutionary

[–]thelonghop[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Appreciate most comments. One small victory is all this was, but it's important to celebrate successes. I'm always trying to learn more and improve as a man.

[–]tom-anonymous5 points6 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

What the hell is going on with reddit? I make a post a few weeks ago about workout goals (receiving really valuable information in the process) and I get torn apart being called a faggot needing validation.

This guy talks about having to handle shit tests over drinking 2 beers, and then talks about the little mermaid. Just drink your 2 damn beers. WTF.

[–]thelonghop[S] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I think you need a hug

[–]ReddJiveRed Beret3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

YOu got fucked but not for the reason you think.

Your wife likes dick. Had nothing do with the dancing monkey routine you put on for her.

[–]Iammrp20 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

If this isn't a troll post then this is the right answer.

[–]tom-anonymous0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This.

[–]thelonghop[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

The wife liking dick is kinda 'no shit', right? Passing shit tests has everything to do with her wanting my dick right then.

[–]wkndatbernardus0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's better, down where it's wetter, take it from me.

[–]Iammrp2-3 points-2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Delete this troll post

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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