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“A MAN would put me first” she says

Wtf how do I respond? Obviously putting her on a pedestal would be the beta move.

I know this is a shit test because she texted me asking to make out with her about a month ago then started calling me a lot. Then she played hard to get and I said not worth my time and soft nexted her.

Now she’s texting me about not wanting to be a side hoe etc.

How do I pass this obvious shit test?


[–]MRPFag226 points227 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

YOU'RE NOT A MAN BECAUSE YOURE NOT BEHAVING HOW I WANT YOU TO

My 4 year old tells me I'm MEAN because I wont let him eat ice cream for breakfast

[–]javascript_dev39 points40 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You mean jerk!

[–]MRPFag26 points27 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Not until hes finished his chocolate cake!

[–]jackandjill227 points8 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Ice cream for breakfast. Just try frosted flakes/fruity pepples/Lucky Charms any childrens breakfast cereal it's basically the same thing.

[–]bigkids11 points12 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

It’s all garbage! What ever happened to eggs, tomatoes, potatoes and bacon?

[–]jackandjill226 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I literally ate this for breakfast today. The best.

[–]OrpheusV4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Toss it in a tortilla and you get an easy meal-preppable option too if you're short on time in the mornings. Hell, toss in some salsa or avocado if you're feeling tricky.

[–]Ill_mumble_that1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This minus the potatoes, add avocado.

[–]Endorsed ContributorFereallyRed130 points131 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

Shaming, a shit test, a "qualify yourself" challenge and entitlement all dripping from one sentence.

I think you have a cunt situation.

Either get into it or kick it to the curb, there's no middle ground.

Dominate her or drop her.

Amused Mastery or a pressure flip are your best replies.

[–]UnPawsed50 points51 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This. Tell her something along the lines of “That’s what all the other girls are telling me too. Why should I man up for you and not them?”. Flips the script.

[–]LucyDD698 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Really good reply. Love it!

[–]LordFa92 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Can you give us an example?

[–]proplfax6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

"what makes you so special that a man would put you first?"

and just talk shit about anything she says because she can't possibly say anything worth a damn

[–]redpill_journey5 points6 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

How would your response to this look like when you don't want to drop her?

[–]TFWnoLTR3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

"I hope you find one" then soft next

This is what I would say. Its probably a coin flip to actually work, but the most important thing is to not let her feel like the language she is using will work on you, because it won't. Shes obviously a cunt and not used to having to work to get attention, and that drives her wild. Keep making her work for it if she wants it.

[–]dadfrombrad[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

This

[–]TFWnoLTR10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

The thing is, OP, that if you are afraid to drop her you've already lost. You have to accept that even a good response might not work. Your response needs to make it clear that you dont care how she defines a man and that you're not interested in being under her thumb, or else that's where you'll end up and then she really won't be attracted anymore.

I'd honestly recommend dropping her all together. There are plenty of non-cunty women out there, no need to get hung up on this one.

[–]Skuggasveinn1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

What's a "pressure flip"?

[–]That_Deaf_Guy32 points33 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

S I D E B A R

I

D

E

B

A

R

[–]GGrub8104 points105 points  (20 children) | Copy Link

"You overestimate yourself."

Watch her hamster going nuclear.

[–]Warren_Bateman48 points49 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Or the classic:

“Lol”

[–]Snowaey4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

thats my go-to lmfao, works so fucking well

[–]Two_kids_in_a_coat6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Naw, you’ll nuke any chance with that line. A simple lol, or “should I build you a statue or just bow down?” This is a basic test. Amused mastery or agree and amplify are fine. Y’all are way overthinking this.

[–]Andorli25 points26 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

"You overestimate yourself."

Definitely don't say this, unless you yourself are a 10/10 with 6 inch cock and the bank account on par this just sounds extremely cringy and honestly most of the chicks I know would just roll their eyes and go "ok buddy retard".

That sounds like something a neckbeard in his power fantasy would say.

[–]KarmicPrism12 points13 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Only 6"? Seems a little low for that parable.

[–]Yggdrasil938 points9 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Average is like 5. A lot of guys are overweight too which makes it worse.

[–]KarmicPrism-3 points-2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Oh I've seen that overweight thing before. When they lose weight is like shaving your pubes after months of forestation, the remaining tree left after trimming the bushes becomes a Sequoia comparatively.

Anyway for the parable a 7 is where it should land. Although I know the statistics are valid, I really can't believe most people's average is 5. If we remove all asains (which there's a ton of in the world) from the averaging, I'm sure the average would look more like 6.

[–]kneeph140 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I really feel like this too. I never felt like my dick was particularly big, but it's way bigger than the average, and I feel like it's lower than it actually is

[–]GGrub87 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

A 10/10 woman is less useful to society than a 7/10 man, just saying. Feminism brainwashed people to make them believe the opposite but she has nothing to offer besides her looks and vagina. Unless you're a mediocre man you're definitely in position to say something like this if she's acting like a total bitch as OP described.

[–]addwater0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Rofl

[–]Project_Zero_Betas0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Definitely don't say this, unless you yourself are a 10/10 with 6 inch cock and the bank account on par

Duly noted

[–]addwater23 points24 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

Soft next is infinitely more effective

Your comment still shows investment

[–]GGrub829 points30 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Quite the opposite.

It shows that you're not putting her on a pedestal and that she's disposable, which is a demonstration of high value and therefore fuels her attraction towards you.

Also, this comment and soft nexting are not mutually exclusive.

[–]LordFa99 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That is true but hopefully you dont share a social circle or she'll go full harpy

[–]addwater1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Actions > words

The answer really is probably do both

[–]BusterVadge2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

He did soft next her, and she came back with more shit tests. Personally I would let this one fall to the ground if I were him. But if he wants to bang he can by just laughing at her like others said.

[–]addwater0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ignore / withdraw attention entirely unless she becomes submissive again or offers sex.

Is this not the definition of soft next?

[–]Two_kids_in_a_coat1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

No, it’s a simple AA.

[–]ArnoldT100025 points26 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Never enter her frame.

[–]Project_Zero_Betas1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Even if a Nobel Laureate commits multiple felonies to coerce you into doing so?

[–]ArnoldT10001 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You’re thinking in the extreme which is irrational in this context.

But depending on how big your balls are that one is up to you

[–]Project_Zero_Betas0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You’re thinking in the extreme which is irrational in this context.

Are you saying what I just posted is "extreme?"

[–]Bruchibre33 points34 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You don't respond. What does being a MAN have to do with dating that entitled bitch? OK A&A then, acknowledge that you're only a boy. What does it change for you as long as you get some.

[–]On_The_Tweek_Again17 points18 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Very simple. You soft next her.

You never bend over for a woman you’re sexually involved with under any circumstance. You never enter her frame, which is what she’s trying to do here.

Cut communication for a few days and watch her go crazy. She will either get on board or she won’t.

There are plenty of other women in this world. Never spread your cheeks for one.

[–]SunnyIsland_Explorer6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

lol spread my man cheeks?

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K187 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Fuck that noise.

'I'm not number one, and I don't have validation. That's your fault, cuz you are not a man'.

She's trying to manipulate and threatening to leave.

If you have other options, I'd call her bluff. Or 'non-bluff', who cares?

'I'm sorry you feel that way. Could have been fun. Bye bye now'.

I don't play motherfuckers trying to manipulate.

[–]CryptJitsu20 points21 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Soft next

[–]Anacondainahonda24 points25 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

"k"

Then find some other slut because this one needs to marinate with no response for a while. A long while.

[–]Sake990 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

what's this 'k' actually mean for girls?

[–]Anacondainahonda3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm not sure what you are asking. It's short for ok and is the shortest possible response you can give. It's also easy to interpret in different ways = potential for her hamster to go for a run, which is the intention. She is trying to lock this dude down (as her bitch) and this response can be interpreted anywhere from "ok if you say so" to "lol fuck off".

[–]1redhawkes10 points11 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

She's testing your frame by classic manipulation tactic.

'You're MAN if you do what benefits me.'

Fuck that noize.

"A Woman would make me a dinner and invite me over."

"K" and don't engage miserable cunts or don't reply at all.

or

Go Hiroshima on her: "You're not hot enough to say this"

She behaves like this because of the thirsty chumps licking her ass, but as you can see, she's not attracted to them.

Don't play this stupid games. It's all for validation, and once she gets it, you'll be flushed down the toilet.

[–]Sake994 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Go Hiroshima on her:

"You're not hot enough to say this"

Oh God....

[–]nateydanger1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

i mean honestly that's the fucking move there. "Bold of you to assume you're attractive enough to say that to me" Either she gets upset and leaves or gets soaked by it. Either way the problem is solved.

[–]rockyp320 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

So what’s the proper way to respond to soemthing like this? Ignore? A&A?

[–]1redhawkes0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Reframe or eventually ignore, let her qualify herself.

[–]Ohboohoolittlegirl10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

"Lol okay" - then get yourself a beer without offering her a drink.

[–]LordFa95 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You know you're my favourite

-Bobby Rio

[–]Endorsed ContributorUEMcGill4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

She's getting you to judge your own actions and you fell for it. It's a valuable life skill to recognize when people are emotionally manipulating you for your behavior.

The first step, realize only you can judge your actions. No one else.

Her statement wants you to defend to her that you really are a man. But what you need to realize, you don't need to defend it. What you do thereafter is purely up to you. But once you start to recognize this in her, you'll see it everywhere it happens, and you won't get so angry about it.

There are lots of ways to handle this, but the one way you cannot is defending it (DEER'ing in this case) Then it will justify it in her mind.

[–]Don_Draper272 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Kinda sounds like drama. I can't really have a good time with a girl who's trying to bust my balls all of the time.

You have to judge if she's trying to have "The Talk". If so, you can't ignore it. I've had good plates who sit me down and have the talk with me and I have to straight up tell them that I'm seeing other girls and that I'm not looking for anything serious right now. I literally told a girl, "If you're not happy, there's the door." and after a shocked pikachu face she slowly made her way to her car and we haven't contacted each other since.

The Talk isn't always bad. Having the balls to look a girl in the eye and telling her that if she wants you she has to share you or GTFO is very attractive and if your dick game is good then you're on the way to having some good quality multiple girlfriends.

[–]Project_Zero_Betas0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I can't really have a good time with a girl who's trying to bust my balls all of the time.

If only more girls understood this

[–]agsuy3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Um an above average test but do not panick

"You have to earn it" variations should do it.

[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Treat her like your kid sister. "Awww... Little girl needs attention".

[–]Sake994 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

that will further worsen the situation

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

My experience says otherwise, but yeah, depending on how you do it, you could be right.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

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[–]FlyingSexistPig5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Her: "A MAN would put me first."
You: "Prove to me that you're worth putting first."
Her: *cry*

[–]SeasonedRP3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

"I'm popular. You'll get used to it. Join me for a drink Thursday at 6 at ____ establishment."

[–]David-Trace0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

If she’s not a LTR, ignore her, drop her, and rotate a plate. No need to start confirming to her shit tests or try to make things work.

[–]Herdsengineers0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

If she said these things in response to being soft nexted, she's probably feeling rejected, it is hitting her in the princess feels, and she's angry and lashing out because you aren't being the good little beta and submitting to her very entitled frame. I would just drop contact with her without further response and move on. If she's acting like this now, how much worse will she get if you get more involved with her? No sex is worth the trouble she's going to bring to you.

Silent hard next.

[–]dadfrombrad[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I still wanna fuck her tho no cap

[–]mrrooftops0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

She's basically admitting she can't compete so inadvertently revealing her low self esteem.

[–]lexoculus0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

That is definitely a shaming language. Knowing that you talk to too many girls, it tells her that you can find a replacement for her. Also, saying "not worth my time" means that she is afraid of risking her time with you if she knows that she is not going to get you instantly when there are other girls who you can be with.

I would suggest to ignore her remarks. Just do what you keep on doing. Go out with as many girls as you can. Also, never fall for the mind tricks that this girl is doing to you. Once she has you and you got rid of the other girls you're going out with or talking to, and when your only focus is her, she's going to drop you as quickly as possible.

[–]DAOcomment20 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

She's just demanding attention. If she's not interested in seeing you again, she would ghost. It's on.

Ignore her games. Investing in a witty comeback is too much effort. Tell her she should join you at XYZ at such and such time. Then if she is still making things hard, tell her the truth "I'm tired of this" and drop the thread completely. Otherwise your time is really not valuable and you have no boundaries for bullshit.

If and only if she drops the games, starts behaving respectfully and nicely, and offers to meet, do you resume contact. That should just be how you handle all people if you don't want to endure constant testing. Reward civilized behavior and refuse to engage games. This is either going to train people not to play games with you or screen out the ones that were going to play games no matter what.

[–]Ill_mumble_that0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Put you first, put it in you first? You think you are better than the other girls?

[–]Lambdal7-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Only autist replies here.

Just tell her: “ But you are my number 1! :)”

She knows that you’re not serious, but she cant be mad and likes it.

When she asks “am I really your number 1” later, you just say “yes, you are my number cool/most witty/etc. girl”

If she asks “but am i your overall number 1”, you can say “hey that’s a very big word, i don’t throw it around like that”

[–]fearl3ss-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Agree with this. So many angry incel comments in this thread.

Another approach is to be like “aww you’re crushing on me, that’s cute.” Playful teasing.

Another approach is just more direct, moving to spending time with her.

“I want to see you more. We don’t even know each other that well yet. Let’s meet X and Y time.”

[–]1NathanHollister-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Next her

[–]InsidiousCurve-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I feel like a lot of these posts are from men who already know the answer and are just looking for validation. She operates on your time, so if you need to look her in the eyes with a grin and tell her, "you need to prove yourself to not be my side whore," then do it. Women operate out of a fear mechanism since they know their value comes from attention.

[–]ThaBromar-4 points-3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Tell her... “are you upset that you have to put up with competition? I literally put up with competition from Other guys wanting you all the time”

[–]Jabbermouth3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Terrible. Putting her on a pedestal. Also you should not be putting up with any other competition from other men.

[–]uptimex-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I just put the opposite message. "No you aren't worth my attention", "why?", "because you don't respect my worldview"

[–]JRSBOOM13-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You respond by saying fuck you beeotch! Then proceed to fuck 30 or 40 bitches.

[–]daddydickie-4 points-3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

"give me 3 reasons other than your look why I should put you first. Right now you're just showing me that you're a self-entitled bitch."

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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