If you ask a girl to go out/hang over text, and she says she’s busy and doesn’t offer a different date, do you soft next?

creating_my_life · 2019-09-01T00:50:18+00:00

all while she isn’t putting any effort into finding a good time.

She is, just not with you.

ComfyBiscotti · 2019-09-01T01:34:44+00:00

of course. a girl into you will cancel her other plans to be with you.

rpasker19 · 2019-09-01T02:22:59+00:00

Girls will give their number to get you out of their hair. Numbers are flakey and unreliable. This is normal. The lead is cold. Get new leads and work those. If you have cool social media, funnel her to that and she might hit you up down the road if she sees you're cooler than she thought. Or, if she was enjoying the attention you gave, she may chase it when you disappear and at then scheduling the date will be easier. But don't waste time trying to fix cold leads, there will be more cold than warm leads especially while you're developing your game.

ngyuhnang · 2019-09-01T02:55:16+00:00

Yes, she’s not attracted enough so move on

0io- · 2019-09-01T03:50:40+00:00

It sort of depends on the girl and how busy she actually is. If this is a girl you're having sex with on the regular, and you say "Meet me at 7 tonight" and she texts back "can't, working until 11" then it's just a legitimate schedule conflict and don't worry about it. People have jobs and school and you can't realistically expect people go bail out on whatever commitments they have every time you want to hook up.

If this is someone you've never dated or had sex with and she's busy and doesn't offer up an alternate time then probably she's not interested right now. Wait longer than usual before telling her to meet up with you again. Try a few times then soft next. If she's hot save the number though and hit her up again a few months later. It only takes a minute or two to try, and sometimes they're not busy anymore.

Just because she's busy and not that interested in you right now doesn't mean it's a lost cause forever, though. Don't stalk or badger her, obviously. It's OK to try a few times. Just don't put any investment into her. Next time you talk to her she may have broken up, quit her job, dropped out of school, taken a semester off... maybe she's bored and wants to hook up.

bluepillcarl · 2019-09-01T01:29:21+00:00

Keep asking every 2 days until she blocks your number.

L3onard3 · 2019-09-01T01:24:33+00:00

So ask her about a different time once more and if not, then next.

Schhwing · 2019-09-01T05:00:39+00:00

Her keenness to hang out with you will depend on how she feels about your first meeting.

If that meeting was fun/exciting/a turn on for her she will want to see you again. Usually that means that she will ditch other plans to see you. In the same breath she may be actually busy and not be able to see you. However that means that she is prioritising other things over you. May be valid or not.

If she appears to not be keen to reschedule, she may do that by offering or you may need to ask her at another time. Give her two chances maybe three. But if you feel that the first meeting wasn’t electric then she probably feels the same way and won’t give much of a fuck if she sees you again or not.

SauliusTRP · 2019-09-01T10:37:30+00:00

Just "cool, hit me up when you are free someday" and soft next after that, if she responds sometime, cool, if not - you are approaching other girls in meantime :)

Quaternionz · 2019-09-04T06:56:54+00:00

Ignore most of what most people have said. Most of the advice in this thread is hot flaming garbage.

Girls are passive. Suggesting another time takes initiative. If she’s very feminine and submissive then suggesting another time might require more initiative than she can muster. This can be true even for women who put up an assertive exterior.

The correct response is to assume she’s attracted and sort out the logistics with confidence.

“Want to grab some ____ at _____ on _____.”

“Oh, I’m busy then.”

“Gotcha. Well what’s your schedule like for the week?”

“I dunno. Work kind of calls me in for shifts whenever. And I’m seeing my sister Saturday.”

“Ok, well come over for dinner Thursday then. I’ll cook something up for us to eat and then after we can go out for a drink or just chill and watch a movie. If you get a shift just come after your shift.”

“Hahahah, OK, that sounds nice. But I’m not doing anything else that night if you were thinking netflix and chill, or anything like that.”

“Lol, if you say so. See you then.”

Then you feed her some nice food and some wine, and get the lay.

Lots of girls, especially the young hot ones, are also generally a shit show. “I’m busy” could mean “I’m overloaded and my life is a chaotic mess, HELP.”

Take the logistics by the balls and you’ll often be rewarded.

If you next her after “I’m busy” she’ll hamster up a storyline in which her “I’m busy” actually meant “I’m not interested,” because you were too beta to blow past it and get the date.

If you blow past “I’m busy” and get the lay she’ll hamster up a storyline in which you’re a cool dominant guy who can put logical shit together on a dime and show her a good time.

If her “I’m busy” really does mean “I’m not interested” then she’ll rapidly get blunt when you push to set up logistics, or she’ll just stop responding. You might get “Look, I’m sorry but I’m just not up for this right now.” Or you might get silence.

But a sizable percentage of the time you’ll get the date. Assume attraction and just go for it.

The penalty for pushing too hard over text messaging is literally ZERO. The penalty for not pushing hard enough is missing out on a good lay with a girl who was actually just being passive and hoping you’d lead the interaction.

INNASKILLZ2K18 · 2019-09-01T03:29:29+00:00

Cut the ''let's'. It sounds sort of supplicating and asking permission. You're not asking her permission to do something. You're already doing it, and she can come if she wants.

'I'll be at having drinks at **** bar on **** at ****. Come join me. Are you in, or out'?

You're already doing something. You polarize her into being fuck yes or no.

Women are flakey and indecisive as fuck. Tell them what to do.

HurricaneHugues · 2019-09-01T04:49:17+00:00

You hard next. She's not interested.

Dimenzije90 · 2019-09-01T08:07:01+00:00

Some of you guys need to take a hard hit on the face... Wtf is this question. Ofcourse you next her. Or at least say, "aight hit me up when you can" and never text her again until she texts you. Go read the side bar again. She isn't busy she just got another dude/dudes thats higher value in her eyes.

krusecontrol91 · 2019-09-01T04:34:50+00:00

I don’t even start. They can come to me if they really want to. I’d rather golf, go see some live music at a sit down with food type place, work on hobbies or skills, continue to remodel and better my home improvement, or else wise. It’s just not. worth. it. If you really need female company keep a roster and hit the next one up. At the end of the day your time is what matters most. You are statistically guaranteed to be just one of many on her roster already.

Sure downvote me but I’m right.

SOLODOLOGUY · 2019-09-01T07:20:17+00:00

Yeah. Next. She’s not interested

NoReflection2 · 2019-09-01T07:58:50+00:00

She's not interested.. move on. don't be that guy, just move on to the next. Remember that you are looking for someone that can vibe with you and someone that you can vibe with back. It is meant to be a mutual thing so if she isn't interested, don't feel self conscious or insecure just keep looking for the one that clicks. Keep in mind that even the most handsome / good-looking guy also gets rejected. I think you already know the answer to your question but are looking for someone else to confirm. You can usually feel the vibe the girl is giving you if you aren't attached to the outcome.

georeddit2018 · 2019-09-01T22:02:21+00:00

Hard NEXT NIGAA!

uptimex · 2019-09-01T07:01:05+00:00

If you asked just once, it could give not very reliable amount of information to make a decision. Ask two times, to give her some comfort of you liking her. They are insecure too sometimes. If she refused two times not suggesting something else, then just soft next. Find some other girl. This cycle must be repeated until your attraction skills before asking out become better (it means workout and influencing her emotions).

idontmiind · 2019-09-01T08:45:51+00:00

Ask her two times within 2 3 days and for the last time after a week or so. Also try to be fun inside out so that you don't have to "think" about this all like this

antoniofelicemunro · 2019-09-01T13:28:23+00:00

Yes.

ggggggggee · 2019-09-01T18:12:39+00:00

N E X T

Hedser91 · 2019-09-01T10:48:38+00:00

Do the justin bieber test, what would she say if you would be justin bieber? Yes to him and no to you means next. It all depends on how desperate you are, sometimes I give it another shot.

MultiMidsets · 2019-09-01T04:57:11+00:00

You're suppose to call her and talk to her for 15 mins to see where her interest is then ask/ setup plans