LTR and girls holiday to party island

bsutansalt · 2019-10-02T04:52:31+00:00

You stated your standards and expectations and what will happen if she fails to follow through. Good job. Now stick to your guns. If she doesn't understand why her desire to go on this vacation is wholly incompatible with being relationship material, then nothing is going to help you. At some point you'll find she crosses the line and needs to be NEXT'd. When is up to you.

Something else just occurred to me... why didn't she invite you? That speaks volumes right there. A big group vacation isn't unusual and she can hang out with them at the beach during the day or whatever and you all go out together at night. Done this myself many times.

Bornagainslayer · 2019-10-01T20:19:04+00:00

It’s almost as if you’ve discovered why we say LTR’s are red pill on hard mode.

You can’t back down now, she will never respect anything you say again and the cheating will surely follow. The fact she’s being defiant on this means you probably haven’t exercised your authority on smaller things in the past so she has no reason to believe you’ll follow through with it.

Good luck buddy but I think your LTR is toast.

plumo123 · 2019-10-01T20:15:45+00:00

She brought it up with you (good thing). She wants to go because other girls do (bad thing). She'll suck dick on that holiday if they tell her to. Not a LTR material!

I'd soft next right now and see what happens. If she'll catch the message that this is crossing your boundaries and decide not to go regardless of what her girlfriends say, that's good. If she goes, its a done deal. By going she spits in your face saying: "I don't respect you, your boundaries mean nothing to me, I want to ride some Zante cock and our relationship is worth less than that"

fastestsynapses · 2019-10-01T20:27:00+00:00

Terrible excuse on her part. At no point in life do you ever have to jump off a cliff just because everyone else is doing it. Sheesh. She sounds extremely immature

Madhatter747 · 2019-10-01T22:19:25+00:00

"A girl is her friends" coach red pill. If they are sluts which they probably are, she will suck dick at the vacation

VasiliyZaitzev · 2019-10-01T22:06:46+00:00

She says this is unfair as she doesn’t really want to go but since all her friends are going she ‘can’t not go’.

She is free to go or not. You are free to make decisions based on whether she goes or not.

Some of her friends think I’ll back down if it came to it (I won’t) and that it’s a silly thing to leave someone for.

How are her friends involved in this? Perhaps they want a break-up?

whoareyou31 · 2019-10-01T22:50:02+00:00

You guys really believe that it’s not possible for women to go on girl only events and stay loyal?

This girl Im fucking recently went to a bachelorette party in my home city and I just happened to be home that weekend. She invited me out with them and I went. The bride to be was pretty well behaved the whole time. She didnt hoe around or anything. It was a 20 girl bachelorette party.

Im definitely on the redpill side, but I feel like you guys are too cynical towards women sometimes.

FinancialThanks1 · 2019-10-01T20:22:36+00:00

She wants to go. If you were much higher smv than her she wouldn’t want to go. Don’t bother trying to stop her. It will only make you seem insecure and if you succeed she’ll resent you.

emilcioran123 · 2019-10-01T22:35:53+00:00

You are too young to be in ltr with any woman. All women at this age play the field. All of them. Even if they have boyfriends. She's a plate and consider her only as a plate. Game other women.

emilcioran123 · 2019-10-02T00:07:56+00:00

If you were in her position, would you go with your friends?

Drive_Thru_Sushi · 2019-10-02T01:57:12+00:00

We’re slaves to the things we’re not ready to walk away from

jamblu3 · 2019-10-02T08:24:25+00:00

My LTR went to maga 2 weeks ago and she wouldn’t dare even think of doing anything. If you tell her not to go or you don’t like the idea, it shows weakness. So when my girl asked me for permission to go I said Idgaf you do what you want and I also went on a lads holiday which filled her with even more dread.

PickUpScientist · 2019-10-01T23:22:06+00:00

arrange a trip to tijuana with the boys so that you don't get bored that weekend.

mabden · 2019-10-02T01:57:20+00:00

Greeka.com to check out what the island offers in vacation adventure.

Your chick says she doesn't want to go, but will if the opportunity is there. Double Speak.

No mention of you going with. Any chick with a high interest level in you would not be planning vacations without inviting, including or going with you.

Regardless of the proper redpill response to your chicks behavior on this, you stated your position, you have to follow through.

In the mean time, stfu , you said your peace, its on her to decide what her priorities are and if they include you. If she continues to press the issue, "nothing has changed" is all you require repeating.

Fuck her as you please, game other chicks. She will either blow you or blow herself out, either way, your set to move on.

If she goes, your turn with her is over.

papunigga031 · 2019-10-02T02:06:40+00:00

Don’t LTR.

dynospectrum7 · 2019-10-02T04:25:23+00:00

Advice is all over the place. I'm in a similar situation where my girl was invited by her friend on a New year's cruise for a couple of days. When she told me about it and all I said was "have fun". Did I want my LTR to go on a cruise full of randoms? No, but I didn't even have to say that. The response I gave was enough for her to switch up a week or so later and try to make plans with me instead.

It's all about the frame you set in the beginning. Have boundaries, mean what you say, don't waver. So long as she knows she can be replaced, you'll be good.

MR_SKINNYPENIS69 · 2019-10-02T00:58:08+00:00

Yep, and girls who fuck guys on holiday always say "I wasn't planning to do it. I didn't even really want to!"

bestsparkyalive · 2019-10-01T23:57:12+00:00

Some of the responses here are straight cringe material. I feel like there is a lot of angry keyboard warriors responding based on the content. Yikes.

TheTastelessBatman · 2019-10-02T08:46:04+00:00

She has two options

A. She is free to go. But you calling it quits then.

B. She doesn't go.

Not LTR material if she is adamant on doing whatever her friends are doing.

Drainstink · 2019-10-02T09:45:24+00:00

How old are you both? To be honest if you are 19-26, and especially 19-22, there really is little point to being in a relationship with her. Most women that age especially these days cant do them. They naturally want to have fun, experience these things and their friends influence them a lot at that age. Its pretty much everything to them. And at that age women especially dont know what they want. They will test and do things and only figure out when its too late. Like cheating but not liking it and wanting their bf back etc.

Not saying ALL WOMEN do it, but i think nowdays most at this age are very capable and act on it especially party rave culture is trendier than ever and women are free to so this shit now.

What does it mean for you? It means dont fight her nature like a jealous worried scarce mindset. Be impartial. If she goes, end it. Its no big deal and should be expected to happen at that age imo. Relationships at 19-22 are dumb af imo. A woman worth staying with wont really put you in this situation. She will self regulate and value you more than her friends and a party. And its not to say you have-no value. Women at that age are just complete slaves to tingles, and their friends influences and what is trendy.

Im assuming u are british. Young people here are obsessed with these types of holiday like a rite of passage. But most people here are bluepilled as fuck. My sisters bf literally went with her to one of these instead. Lol. Its so trendy here to so it and while not all women will get up to no good its still not a model environment to put herself in while in a relationship. But she is very much telling the truth that her friends are the main influences of wanting to go. Does it make a difference? Nope. Its your boundary. But like i said, at ur age good luck finding a woman who wont want to do all this stuff. They exist tho, but you wont find them in your typical british student.

You handled it not too bad, but you gave an an ultimatum it sounds like. Next time use an example when relevant. She should know you would end it without having to tell her. “Wow did his gf go to zante? I'm surprised he didnt break up with her”. She would remember that.

My advice： close down conversation about it now. She’ll make her choice. Dont expect relationships like this to last at ur age. Likely she will grow to resent you outright disalowing her like this though. Its ALWAYS BETTER TO DO IT SUBTLE IN THIS INSTANCE, like the example above.

Metrack · 2019-10-02T10:18:55+00:00

I made comment on this but decide to take different perspective.

TRP state that you have to assume it's always your turn. In LTR this statement should give you peace of mind, ability to walk away if girl miss behave and be cool about breaking up while she cheat on you at the same time. Women act not fully conscious especially in time of no real social norm which results in testing you.

In this situation like many other there is no good answer to this. If it bother you that she go party alone leave her. If it bother you that she may cheat on you, leave her. Your peace of mind should be always a priority and you should only ask you how you feel about it not us.

The curse of redpill is that you are aware of crazy shit whether by participating in it or by reading ppl stories. If you have a problem to trust a woman at some degree things will only decline in your relationships.

Jabbermouth · 2019-10-01T22:32:10+00:00

Don’t try to stop her from going.

If she goes, demote her to plate. You are now single.

If she stays, realize this is a bad sign for your LTR and start planning an exit strategy.

HurricaneHugues · 2019-10-01T20:47:09+00:00

"I said to her that I don’t want a long term girlfriend who goes on these kinds of holidays, and that’s she is free to go but should expect unwanted consequences if she does."

Too much fucking talking and explaining. If any of that nonsense was true you wouldn't say shit about it and you would just dump her when she left for the island. Talk less act more

ComplexProjection · 2019-10-02T02:32:54+00:00

You have now stated a clear boundary on which you will have to act. Keep your frame up, and act accordingly.

macheagle · 2019-10-02T07:52:07+00:00

Don’t be fooled. She may even already have hook ups setup by herself or her group. To maintain her image she’ll continue to play the “I don’t wanna to go but if they go I’ll go” card in order to appear plausibly uninterested in going. AWALT. Don’t be naive man!

Crixusgannicus · 2019-10-02T12:00:21+00:00

Let me fix this and save time for all.

Memorize and say this the next time this come up.

"If you go. Pack first"

Doesn't matter if she lives with you or not, if it's an LTR she has shit at your place if only to mark her territory.

Pro-tip. We do the same but NEVER leave shit at a chicks place that isn't 100% EXPENDABLE.

Now. after saying

"If you go. Pack first"

BROOK NO FURTHER DISCUSSION OF THE MATTER! Beyond repeating some variation of

"If you go. Pack first, Choose"

"If you go. Pack first, that's all I have to say" <===<< My preferance

And so on and so forth.

This is your do or die moment Son!

One of you is going to "die" on this hill.

Hope it ain't you Bro.

That is all.

Cyprian_ · 2019-10-02T15:07:20+00:00

Do you really want her still considering she already made the choice to go.

Is it the same when you have to tell/threaten her to be a certain way, and not do things because of your precious feelings?

Set your boundaries in your own head, and do not tell anyone what they are. Let them hang themselves, and move on.

MattyAnon · 2019-10-02T16:27:54+00:00

and that’s she is free to go but should expect unwanted consequences if she does.

Good.

She says this is unfair as she doesn’t really want to go

This is fucking retarded. Of course she can "not go".

Was just wondering what your guys thoughts on it are?

You set a good boundary.

she doesn’t really want to go

This is still retarded. "I didn't want to go on this holiday" / "I didn't want to get drunk" / "I didn't want Chad's dick in me". This attitude speaks to lack of personal responsibility.

If she goes she'll cheat, that's just how it is.

afterthe_fapocalypse · 2019-10-02T00:00:14+00:00

hurricanehughes gave some real advice; I've been in this situation before and it's just a consequence of not being respected. my relationships all went downhill, and I saw this with my father, too. he'd put down a boundary, and my mother would bully him and push it forward. the more he insisted, the more it looked like he was whining, and the more he backed down, the more power she got. he should've kicked her out of the house. bitch.

do you want her to respect you? or do you want to get sex from her? and if the latter, why would you want it from her? She's a weak gf.

the best thing Rollo says to do in situations where you aren't respected by a woman in a relationship is leave her. That is the number one thing that will EARN respect for you in her eyes.

Crixusgannicus · 2019-10-02T00:23:51+00:00

You have stated a RULE.

Once you allow that RULE to be violated, in any way, YOU ARE FUCKED and not in the good way!

It's bad enough you have allowed continued discussion of the matter, but that is recoverable.

It doesn't matter what you would do in your position because YOUR position is YOU ARE THE MAN!

Unless you cave, in which case you won't be the man.

Snowboard18 · 2019-10-02T01:41:59+00:00

This is a perfect test for how solid your frame is, don’t budge

PM70 · 2019-10-02T09:27:18+00:00

I hope she goes and has a blast.

lampshade2818 · 2019-10-02T10:23:18+00:00

Going on a trip with friends is a normal adult thing. I go on a fishing trip to the Florida Key with a bunch of friends every year. We also rent an RV and go to a big college football game/tailgate every year. You really can't trust your girl to just go have fun with her friends for a few days?

BeeBopJoe · 2019-10-01T21:42:54+00:00

She has a group of slutty friends, shes probably one herself

Lateralanouncer · 2019-10-01T22:50:28+00:00

I think you have played it perfectly. If she goes great, you have a free ticket out of an exclusive relationship and can now do what you want.

violetmonstermunch · 2019-10-02T05:54:14+00:00

Dont listen to her words but look at her actions. If she goes then she wanted to. And you know damn well what will happen there.

flatox · 2019-10-02T10:49:57+00:00

Stop caring about wtf they say.

Bedtimeshine · 2019-10-02T12:10:58+00:00

If my girl wants to go to a “what happens here stays here” kinda place without me... she might as well stay there too. You said what you had to say. Stick to it. No need to even bring it up again.

ass-my-eat · 2019-10-02T12:32:32+00:00

She’s itching to go full hoe. Think you gotta cut this one loose sooner or later.

shelteringloon · 2019-10-02T13:02:59+00:00

You set the boundary so you have to hold it at this point.

zboo1h · 2019-10-03T00:56:20+00:00

Literally the only reason they do this is to catch strange, secret cock.

Your LTR wants to be a slut. Why would you want to pursue a slut for anything besides a blow & go?

frognads · 2019-10-06T23:48:56+00:00

I fucked a girl on a party island and she has a boyfriend back home. You did the right thing.

KoolAidMan7980 · 2019-10-02T01:09:31+00:00

“I said to her...”

Right there youve already fucked up. STFU. Theres no need for “communication” or whatever other pussy shit youve dont to get yourself in this spot. Just shut the fuck up. If she cant come up with the fact that this is a no go then she wasnt worth being an LTR anyway. At your age what the hell are you doing anyway with only one girl? Do you have abundance? Have you even read the sidebar or are you too busy communicating about how big a dick shes gonna suck at Zante?

[deleted] · 2019-10-01T21:37:42+00:00

soft next

eddielovett · 2019-10-02T00:06:24+00:00

Girls bring up shit like this to test men it doesn’t necessarily mean she wants to go and fuck dudes. By engaging in a discussion about it though you fail the test, dry up her pussy and makes her actually want to go. Up your game, especially in the dominance department.

cracksniffer666 · 2019-10-02T03:18:52+00:00

This is a "teehee" moment.

She wants to go.

She'll "accidentally" sleep with someone.

Hold frame, if you break, and let her do it, it'll only escalate.

RedHoodhandles · 2019-10-02T04:50:03+00:00

This is lemming reasoning on her part. But whatever. You drew the boundary which you shouldn't have to. She shouldn't even consider something like that. If she crosses it is over.

BurnieSlander · 2019-10-02T05:29:27+00:00

Tell your girl to suggest that the group go somewhere else other than hookup island. There’s a fuckton of other places they could go- but if her friends are just hoes that want to vacation on other dude’s dicks, that’s not a sitch worth your time

anonghost1234567890 · 2019-10-02T07:49:09+00:00

Maybe chill out and let the girl go on holiday with her friends. she may end up dumping you if you carry on like this

H_Crush · 2019-10-02T08:20:22+00:00

op, you seem insecure and overinvested, why did you ltr her? now you obviously cannot let her go, but you should have let her go and demote. THE FACT THAT SHE WANTS TO GO SHOWS SHE'S NOT THE KIND OF LTR YOU WANT!

kankouillotte · 2019-10-02T09:06:58+00:00

lol it's obvious that if she goes, sh'es going to fuck. Your decision is the right one, and you expressed it in the best way possible, now it's all on her.

liquidnitrogentakes · 2019-10-02T01:56:57+00:00

You sounds like an insecure baby who wouldn’t even leave the house the week she was gone but def break up with her she deserves better.

abomba24 · 2019-10-02T03:59:40+00:00

Most have already hit this, but it's pretty simple at this point. She goes and you're done or she doesn't and you've held your ground, good luck moving forward.

Though I would sit down and put this to and end. Tell her again your boundaries clearly, including bringing this up again. You've stated your case and there should be no further discussion.