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6

Wife sure likes that TV (self.askMRP)

submitted by SiegreicherMarsch

I'm out doing my own thing several nights a week. My wife's routine is to "watch her shows" while I'm gone, that's fine I don't have any interest in them. But it's spreading into the other nights and times, pretty much whenever she gets time to unwind after the kids are in bed she fires up the TV for some of that sweet dopamine.

I find myself just wanting to leave and do other things because the TV is boring as shit, but that means I'm gaming my wife less and less. I think I need to be the cruise director and come up with nightly activities to keep her off there, and it has to invoke at least as much feels as the TV shows. I have a million fun things for us to do outside the house and we have a great time but it gets too expensive (babysitting needed). What are you doing with your wife on nights in besides sex? Or do you just sit on the couch watching Netflix and initiate during the breaks between shows?


[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Just go to sleep.

[–]teaandtalk8 points9 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Get friends who you can trade babysitting with.

Does one of your friends complain something similar about his wife? Tell him you'll take his kid for the night, stay home with wife and kids (+1), play board games and have a nice family time, then next week leave 'em your kid and you can go out and, I don't know, fuck her in the bathroom of a shitty bar.

[–]RedPill-BlackLotusRed Beret3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

God damit! I'm embarrassed I didn't think of that. Thanks man, that's brilliant.

Not the bar thing, the babysitter thing.

I love this place.

[–]SiegreicherMarsch[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Great idea, thank you.

[–]teaandtalk0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You're welcome. Parent friends are the best allies in maintaining a marriage after kids - you're all in the same boat, but playdates and sleepovers will save your relationship.

[–]simbarlionRed Beret6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sometimes FO doesn't want to be on the boat.

Continue your map and use her tv time as a barometer of your increasing awesomeness

[–]Slim-Pickins-13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Your game is shit. She has to rely on soaps to get the tingles. Count your lucky stars it’s not Chad. Quit being a boring fuck.

[–]The_LitzRed Beret6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Frame, frame, frame.

Go out if you want to go out, not in response to her not interested. Removing attention can be anything away from her.

<Initiate during breaks......>

I have no words, you are in the frame of whatever shit you are watching on TV.

Learn to game her throughout the day.

Create moments for sex. It does not have to happen late at night with the lights off and the kids asleep.

Vary the sex between morning quickies, late night extended play and whatever you can think of wherever you can think of.

[–]SiegreicherMarsch[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I go out when I want and that's all cool. But I also allocate at least a couple nights a week for "fun stuff at home with the wife" and I'm running out of ideas so the TV (which apparently has unlimited amazing ideas) is winning. I don't want to give up and just replace those time blocks with "sleep". There must be worthwhile things to do.

Initiating during breaks was sarcasm.

[–]anewlifenow3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Sounds like everybody here just doesn't do anything with their wives when they're home after a day of work. Not sure why people are so defensive about coming up with some activities and ideas to avoid falling into the boring routine of work, home, TV, sleep, with maybe a couple of other activities sprinkled in. Regardless of how you feel about it, if you just "go to sleep" or "go read" every single night when she does that, she will continue her path of boredom with you.

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That's why some of the advice / comments in this thread are absolute cop-out bullshit answers.

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It's important to do some interactive activities at least a couple times a week when you both aren't too tired. I'm working on coming up with more but some that I do are:

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Puzzles

Boardgames

Walks

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This is still work in progress for me but I'm also glad I realized the approaches mentioned in this thread aren't great.

[–]mrpalt1Chief of the Towel Police1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

My wife is similar and like OP I don't like watching tv all the time either. We usually go for a walk, sit outside by the fire if it's nice out, but I also need to think of new ways to be more fun.

Other times I just go do what I feel like doing, fixing something around the house, start a wood working project, read on a topic that interests me.

The longer you try to change her behavior the more frustrated you'll become. Sometimes people just need to relax and watch some tv. I don't think you can always be the fun adventurous guy 24/7 and be responsible with finances, children, etc.

Do what you want and if she wants to watch tv let her. Ask her to fold the laundry while she's at it.

[–]SiegreicherMarsch[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Sometimes people just need to relax and watch some tv. I don't think you can always be the fun adventurous guy 24/7 and be responsible with finances, children, etc.

I'll try to get as close to that goal as I can. I watch one good movie a week with her, that's enough for me. I think the average American watches what, 3-4 hours a day now? It's crazy.

[–]mrpalt1Chief of the Towel Police0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Tv is a huge waste of time. I have slowly downgraded our cable and find myself less interested in what's on besides sports or a particular series. 3-4 hours a DAY. Read, write, build, run, lift, raise a child, paint, sing, hunt, fish, golf, clean, cook, meditate, call your family, literally go outside and breath the fucking air. Or be a TV drone..what a life.

[–]SiegreicherMarsch[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You've described my dilemma well. I hate wasting time. With a few exceptions, TV is a waste of time. I want to be doing something of value, and I want to include my wife sometimes. Having young kids puts a big millstone around your neck when it comes to this. If I could leave the house most nights of the week, I would.

So the question really is: what things of value can a man do at home, with his wife, besides sex?

I have been collecting board games to play, but my wife usually plays them begrudgingly because there's some show she'd rather be watching.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

She watches TV to escape.

Escape from you.

Escape from the boring monotony of the life you have made for her.

Give her fun times and adventure.

Lead her off the sofa and into the gym.

Lead her to develop self improvement skills.

Show her a life that's better than the lives of the ones in the TV shows. Better than the life you currently offer her.

And if that doesn't work, sell the sofa and throw her in with the sale.

[–]Twolate4dinner2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Well my wife is near similar to what your describing. Thought about the cable/internet just happening to "go out" then realized that was just another faggot beta move on my part totally in her frame. Kinda would have been fun though to watch wife/kids freak the fuck out with no internet service. Basics - just do you and what you feel is valuable with your time. Stay plan is the go plan ect.... In my case, I can feel the nuclear shit test coming in my case especially after I shut down sex the other night when she said "hurry up and finish". Time, attention and affection is ours to give to those who bring value to our lives - perhaps you (as I am doing) are questioning the value she brings - thus why waste time gaming her as the juice wouldn't be worth the squeeze - I am currently pondering this issue. On the other hand perhaps not gaming and initiating with the wife is just looking for a passive beta faggot way out by not putting in the effort. The more honest question would be to ask is if you didn't know your wife and you saw her on the street would you want to fuck her. Put in the work gaming her if the answer is yes. The least you can accomplish is upping/tightening your game and frame in the face of the rejections that may come your way.... OI..

[–]Iammrp21 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Trying to come up with activities isn't a bad idea. But it would be hard to do after a long day of work and putting the kids to bed.

All day you need covert game and sometimes you need overt communication.

Just tell her what you want. Don't use guilt or manipulation. Don't ask if she wants x. Tell her what you want and don't react butthurt if you don't like her response. If she says no and her hampster spins then let her know it's not a problem and then go do your own thing. Keep working on your MAP.

Again, don't say "hey babe, do you want to hang out with me?" State what you want. "I want to have sex". You may be leaving the house soon after saying that and it may set her hamster spinning but you are not leaving to manipulate her into thinking anything. You're just doing you. Be prepared for that shit test.

This is a long response that boils down to "tell her what you want". For an even longer response that says the same thing read No More Mr. Nice Guy.

Sometimes all you have to do is state what you want. There's people in this world who will help you get what you want. Could be your wife, could be someone else.

[–]DeplorableRay1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Be more attractive than the television. Clearly you’re not hitting her feelz, thus the TV.

[–]SiegreicherMarsch[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I've tried flexing in front of the TV but that only worked the first couple times.

[–]DeplorableRay0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I took the television out of the bedroom. Solved so many problems.

[–]JameisBong1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Lol some day when you are interesting enough she will ditch the idiot box for a fun time with you. Right now you are her betabux,she doesn't give a shit about anything beyond your paycheck.

[–]Onein1024th0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I go to the gym after the kids bedtime 3x a week. I vary which night based on what else I want to do in the evenings

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maybe this is in her frame, maybe not... but when mine wants to watch TV I'm grabbing my gym bag and spending that time investing in myself.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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