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How do I get attention at all costs without being a retard?

For example there’s this uni event thing tomorrow. About 50 people will be there, mostly guys. There’s one girl that I find attractive who’s also gonna be there whom I met once and talked for like a minute because I had somewhere to go.

How do I get her attention between all those guys without being a retard?


[–]CSauceHockey211 points212 points  (20 children) | Copy Link

It sounds like you interpreted like, "stand up in front of everyone and scream to get attention."

It is more like be valuable, contribute to conversations, turn heads, be the person people look for and want to talk to when you enter the room. This is actually one of the key elements of being an "alpha" and being respectable IMO.

[–]wriley13 points14 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I have seen people do this in every possible way. Being the best looking. Being the funniest. Having the best story. Being the best pool player. Drinking a pitcher of beer in 4 seconds and then winning Mario kart. Being interesting can happen for so many reasons.

[–]rambler42959 points60 points  (10 children) | Copy Link

Most of the time, the most important or 'alpha' person isn't the one up there acting a clown or begging for others to pay attention to them. He's the quiet guy in the back that everyone knows and respects. Be that guy, not a dancing monkey.

[–]DiskKiller257 points58 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

This is some introvert fantasy. The quiet guy in the back no one notices, unless he can stand up and command the attention of the people present.

[–]IATAsshole35 points36 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

IMO it’s being something invetween.

There are 2 extremes being mentioned here.

The alpha moves around and talk to people, but also he’ll sit down and chill with his people. He’s not afraid to hold a speech, karaoke or whatever is appropriate for the event he’s at. But he does it because he wants to. It brings him joy, or it brings a close friend joy to say some nice words publicly.

Not because he got drunk and thought it was a good time to get other peoples approval.

The typical carichatures of betas acting alpha is the shy dude sitting in the back leaning his arm on the back of his chair pretending to scope the room for people cool enough to engage with. Or the fratboy who rushes the stage screaming "it’s motherfucking paaaarteytime bitches!!"

[–]ForeverInYou1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Awesome.

[–]Standgrounding[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This.

[–]WeddingCrasher911 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

How do you gain respect in a new environment

[–]Standgrounding[🍰] 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Contribute

[–]TFWnoLTR2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Its easiest to gain respect in new environments, imo. Especially if it is new for everyone else as well.

Frame everything you do as though everyone else is as unsure about how to proceed socially as you are and decide to take the lead. The only way to fuck this up is to become insecure when someone else voices opposition to your ideas or tries to take the lead from you. Give them their desired opportunity to contribute and people will actually subconciously see it as partially your contribution.

Have some grace and be fun to interact with and you will establish yourself quickly. Just be sure to maintain it.

[–]isthisalreadyused1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You buried the lead there buddy. He’s clearly not the guy that everyone respects and looks up to at this time, so sitting there quiet in the back isn’t going to help him at all.

The fact this received so many upvotes shows how clueless this community has become

[–]Sonny_Luna2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If you think about it, it makes sense. This community isn’t made up of men who have mastered TRP. It’s the opposite. The majority of men here are positively clueless to the appropriate way to conduct yourself around women.

So when someone like-minded (read clueless) opines, his clueless counterparts are like, “That’s exactly what I think!”. That’s how goofball posts get upvoted so high.

[–]Sonny_Luna0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

The guy who responded to you is right. This is an introvert fantasy. You also utilized a false dilemma fallacy. You act like the only options are to be a dancing monkey or to be the quiet guy in the back that, “everyone knows and respects”, huh? That’s not reality.

Use your brain in a rational way. Don’t be sensational and emotional. That’s for women. You need to think as a man.

[–]Meloxian11 points12 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Not just that, but do things to stand out without having to say them - things that you wear, how you smell, your body language, your hairstyle all give you unspoken attention.

[–]RaidenDark0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

One of the reasons I go with the long hair + beard look is the attention it generates. Both of those things are polarizing. People that like it really like it and are likely to mention it.

I mean it helps that the look suits me well.

[–]catbrainland9 points10 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

It is more like be valuable, contribute to conversations, turn heads, be the person people look for and want to talk to when you enter the room.

There's a significant dark triad aspect to the attention economy people often undervalue for some reason.

Even really bad PR is still great PR.

Being a selfish drama queen still works wonders compared to being introverted, or awkward "valuable" doormat. Jerks are still interesting, as it provides some new emotional experience. OP's problem is that he's just boring and his attempts of showing off make him "that guy". Being boring nukes every social strategy descended from one's personality. Doesn't mean there's something wrong with being extroverted in "less respectable" manner as such.

[–]faecci3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

i agree. bad PR is great PR. just look at yo president

[–]RaidenDark0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Jerks are still interesting, as it provides some new emotional experience.

I used this as a sexual strategy by accident once. Girl approached me at work and I was a mild asshole to her, but kept a smile on. She asked for my number, hired a babysitter, made me dinner and fucked my brains out the next night, occasionally saying "I can't believe I'm doing this"

For the few weeks I stayed in contact, I was the most fascinating thing in her whole world. No one had ever talked to her like I did.

[–]Kimdabrim1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

To "get attention at all costs"? Doesn't sound very alpha or respectable to me.

[–]jackandjill220 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Dude, it's not going to happen. I remember a situation just like this before. The girl was overwhelmed with the attention shut all the guys out & said, "I should've brought more girls with me."

[–]JimmyHILFIGER33 points34 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

What he meant was that your presence must be felt in the room, make an impact but don't overdo it.

The fact is the more you are seen, the less valuable you are, there is no mystery there.

[–]ashblossomcherries28 points29 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Put yourself out there, but don’t be retarded

[–]Standgrounding[🍰] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

And when asked to do stuff you can decline because others need you. It's all manipulation.

[–][deleted]  (10 children) | Copy Link

[deleted]

[–]Standgrounding[🍰] 1 point2 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

We, kids at school with debts, also want to get laid.

[–][deleted]  (8 children) | Copy Link

[deleted]

[–]Standgrounding[🍰] 3 points4 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

Unless the kids been lifting for years and athletic in general. People date in schools too.

[–][deleted]  (6 children) | Copy Link

[removed]

[–]Standgrounding[🍰] 9 points10 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Hey wtf, the whole sub is telling you to lift and one of the reasons is physical attraction

[–][deleted]  (4 children) | Copy Link

[removed]

[–]Zorrostrian2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Ok but now I’m confused. Why should you lift, then? I get self improvement but most people here want to self improve so that they can get laid, right?

[–]TFWnoLTR1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You lift because being physically strong enables you to be more mentally strong. It does help with attraction, but that is secondary to the actual benefits. The actual benefits have an affect on your behavior and people will notice. You will be more confident and less likely to feel intimidated. You will learn that hard work pays off and that you can always improve yourself. This will make you a better man.

It's the same with this place regularly recommends martial arts training. The goal is not to start and win fights with random douches you run into at the bar. That just makes you a douche. Instead you're training yourself not to fear conflict, because you don't fear the tiny possibility that it may escalate to physical conflict. Conflict occurs, and being able to deal with it with confidence is invaluable and possibly the most alpha trait one can have.

Stop framing everything as though your entire purpose is to get laid. Putting pussy as a priority in life makes you less attractive. Also, read the sidebar.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy Link

[removed]

[–]Standgrounding[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Then what can get you laid at school?

[–]Jailhouseredpilled9314 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Look for iois, be cool. Talk to other girls. Make your way to her gradually. Don't forget to tease her. Isolate and Escalate. Game 101.

[–]Ill_mumble_that2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

"There's dis one girl durrree"

No. Stop that shit right now. You need abundance mind set. Flirt with all the girls there. I don't care if they are fat, flirt with them motherfucker, you don't have to bang them.

[–]2SirKolbath20 points21 points  (19 children) | Copy Link

Why do you give a shit that one girl is going to be there? There are 3.66 billion girls out there. What one of them does is not terribly significant.

[–]randombjkfan1903[S] 37 points38 points  (16 children) | Copy Link

I mean I wanna fuck her am I not supposed to?

[–]2SirKolbath31 points32 points  (15 children) | Copy Link

You’re missing the point. You probably don't have oneitis because you haven't gotten off the ground with this girl. However, this still applies:

Sir Kolbath's statement on oneitis:

"If at any time you are focusing on one girl, you are by definition ignoring the remaining 3.66 billion girls."

You need to get cozy with the sidebar.

[–]mikkeldaman2 points3 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

Messing around... but what if OP is only interested in young hot ones who are also above the legal age? Then there are probably under 1 billion such specimens right?

[–]LoneStarG841 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

From looking at some rough numbers, there are around 500 million females in the world between the ages of 20 and 29. Obviously they're not all hot, and that's not the only age range we're interested in, but that's the best I've got.

[–]mikkeldaman1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Research done right.

[–][deleted]  (9 children) | Copy Link

[removed]

[–]mikkeldaman6 points7 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

I'm not trying. I'm managing.

[–][deleted]  (7 children) | Copy Link

[removed]

[–]drakehfh4 points5 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

What the fuck are you doing here?

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

This place turned into a meeting for autistics. Never have I read so much bullshit as in the past weeks.

The girls I had were always significantly younger than me.

[–]RPNorvell[M] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

So help. Report the bullshit.

[–]drakehfh1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Always. They are more feminine, respond more positively to confidence/frame/jokes and they are not damaged (yet).

[–]iqbal0020 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

This is so exaggerated that only someone having no contact with any girl can say this as it is impossible to even talk to girl if you follow this quote as a rule. One have to focus on a girl and manipulate the surroundings to get her attention and then if she is totally dismissing your presence, go look for another girls who are in your social circle and don't waste your valuable time chasing that one specific girl.

[–]2SirKolbath1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

What you took nine sentences to warble on about, I said more clearly in one.

I don’t know why it is that you newcomers to TRP feel the need to argue with those of us who have been here for years, but it is quite annoying.

[–]Greek-God-Brody5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

That's an inaccurate statement, you're never gonna have access to 3 billion girls. The only girls out there are the ones in his city

[–]2SirKolbath5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It’s a perfectly accurate statement, rookie. You have access to as many girls as you want to have access to, and focusing on one girl means you’re ignoring the rest.

Now quit being a pedantic asshole and go read the sidebar, or maybe a few other books where the concepts of hyperbole and metaphor are used.

[–]Spaghetti17761 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Be different in the way that you want to be. Trust your gut. Say what’s on your mind. Not being a pussy will make you stand out these days.

[–]Irtotallynotrobot0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is actually one I still struggle with. Sometimes it feels so easy to do and other times is feel like I have no idea how to go about it

[–]five_eight0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

50 people? Men? I'd stand out maybe naked or on fire. Maybe. I prefer more a more manageable milieu (can't believe I used milieu in a sentence). For social purposes sometimes its ok to just see and be seen, and take secondary goals down a notch and chill.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Stand out from all the other lames.

[–]Standgrounding[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Briefly exchange words with her with some question, and contribute to get community's respect.

[–]laserdicks0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I think you've confused the cause and effect.

[–]1KirthWGersen0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

As soon as you see her, walk up to her and talk to her. It really isn't hard. You don't need a strategy.

[–]Anasthaesium0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Take Machiavelli w a grain of salt. He didnt achieve much in his life.

Always vet the source. The ones who should how tos don't have the time to preach except to their closest. The ones who preach how tos make a living off preaching.

[–]randombjkfan1903[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Actually Italians have a phrase that translates to “Machiavelli didn’t get pussy”.

[–]RPNorvell[M] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Make her your center of attention, not your perceived and utterly useless false image presentation.

Ask her out. Done.

[–]TheeSakred0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Stop trying to be something you’re not. At the end of the day what matters is authenticity, assuming you’re attempting to attract quality people. If you’re not the most well spoken, intelligent, well dressed, well groomed, confident, person in the room naturally, you need to work on that. I promise none of these gimmicks on this sub will help with anything other than 15 seconds of fame. Respect is earned. Become someone respectable, and you’ll stay off this sub asking a bunch of narcissistic dudes how to pick up chicks.

[–]mickey__0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Can't believe this is serious question, jesus fucking christ what we became

[–]2319Skew[🍰] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

People group up based on social circles. Greet each group and have a small convo with each person. Smile and enjoy yourself. Keep your talking points on the person you are talking with and not yourself. Acknowledge the girl but don't give her any more of your time. After you have interacted with everyone circle back and see if you can isolate and escalate.

[–]Domebeers0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

listen, forget about the girl. You are going to the event to have fun.

when you are at the event, if you see the girl you like, she'll probably be in a group. Go up and talk to the group. Show the group you aren't weird or odd. Just be you, be cool. Make a few jokes, poke fun of the event. Then grab the girl and take her to a table or a place that is a little quieter. And then talk to her. Tell her you want to kiss her, then kiss her.

Then get married and name your first born something normal. Thank me at your wedding.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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