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I Lost the Gift Card (self.askRPC)

submitted by CarelessBowler5

28yo, 5'7", 144#, married 4yrs

Squat 5x190, Bench 5x125, OH 5x90, Deadlift 5x235

I screwed up.

A few months ago, my wife and I were given a sizable gift card to a nice steak place here in town.

Ended up stashing it in my car to surprise her with it.

Yesterday, I found I had left my car unlocked. The only thing missing was that gift card.

Any advice on how to approach this? Looking for feedback on navigating this sort of thing well.


[–]helaughsinhidden8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

If she knows about it and knows the amount just tell the truth. "Hey honey, remember that gift card we got? (She replies) well it was stolen from the car while I was at the gym". Keep it simple stupid.

The deeper issue here is not the lost value of the card, but that you seem scared to tell your wife bad news. If you are crafting stories for her benefit, you are in her frame and making her happiness or wrath like an idol where you are willing to consider a lie to cover it something she will find unpleasant or upsetting.

Just tell her the facts only and in a "by the way" kind of tone. As a matter of fact, who goes into a car to search for just gift cards? I'd make a prop bet that you have a 25% chance of higher she saw it and took it in the house herself thinking it wasn't smart to leave it there and forgot to tell you.

[–]CarelessBowler5[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yup. I post this to kind of test the waters, to find out if my old BP habits touch even this sort of thing.

I planned to ask, "Did you take the gift card from my car."

"No..."

"Well, I think it got stolen ..."

I've messed up in my RP journey enough that I think it's worth digging a little bit to see if I don't know what I don't know.

[–]TheChristianAlpha2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

If you feel it necessary to tell her then just tell her what happened. It's pretty matter-of-fact. If you give off the vibe like it's a big deal then she'll follow your lead. But if you're just describing something that happened as matter of fact then it shouldn't be a big deal. If she gets upset at what happened or at you then you just need to hold frame and agree and amplify or if you have the mindset and frame of somebody who is amused at situations then that should be part of your frame when talking to her. There are other things you can do but that should cover it. Really this shouldn't be a big deal.

[–]CarelessBowler5[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You're right. It's not a big deal. I didn't think it was a big deal.

But a number of times in my RP journey i've been wrong about what is and isn't actually a "big deal."

Thanks for the tips.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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