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Is it ok to go out to bars a few times/week and socialize? (self.askRPC)

submitted by AlphaBinomialDistrib

So something i struggle with is being lonely, as I'm in my early thirties, and all of my friends partnered off. There really isn't many wholesome, God-honoring opportunities to go out get rid of this loneliness.

I notice that a lot of my younger, single co-workers drink a few times a week, smoke weed, and our generally likable guys. Girls want to be around them, and they all go out and do their thing and they have stories to tell. I noticed a lot of the younger people like to be an altered state of mind. I wonder why this is? As a Christian, it's easy to say because they have a hole in their lives and they are trying to fill it with mind-numbing substances. I know i'm not supposed to be friends with the world, but how am i supposed to overcome this lonelines?


[–]Rifleshoot6 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

It may be controversial, but I don’t believing drinking is sinful. It’s drinking to excess that is sinful. Once you no longer are in control of your actions, then it’s sin. Drinking until you have a buzz doesn’t feel sinful to me.

[–]DoersOfTheWord1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Well Jesus drank and encouraged others to do the same so it better not be sinful.

[–]Red-Curious1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

It's only sin if it's light ;)

I joke ... but I actually had a pastor who made this argument.

[–]Rifleshoot0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Lol, my pastor is doing a series right now on how a Christian should conduct themselves in a culture that is hostile to Christian morality and he had a pretty good line in there: “we can’t let ourselves make sin out of things that God never called sin.”

Drinking, dancing, etc. were never called out as sin and we can’t assert some personal morality as being the same level as God’s morality.

[–]Deep_Strength2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

You should focus on addressing the loneliness as opposed to band-aiding it. Loneliness is often a symptom of lack of mission or floundering in your own walk with God.

How's your Bible reading, prayer, fellowship with other believers, meditation, and taking control/leadership of your life?

What's your mission for God? What are your gifts of the Spirit? How can you get involved more in Church utilizing those gifts?

[–]AlphaBinomialDistrib0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

weak across the board.

Do you know why unbelievers/agnostic people are so eager to drink and smoke and be in a different state of mind?

[–]rocknrollchuck2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Because it's fun. Sin is fun... for a season. I used to LOVE being high every day because it felt good. 23 years bro. I had no Mission, just drifting aimlessly through life like everybody else.

[–]Red-Curious0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You didn't answer /u/Deep_Strength's most important question:

  • What's your mission for God?

As he noted, what you're going through is a byproduct of lacking a mission. Start that mission and give it the weight that eternity would have it, and you'll find yourself naturally building the skills you need to engage socially.

[–]rocknrollchuck0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is a good word.

[–]CarelessBowler51 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Going to a bar isn't sinful. Drunkenness is sinful.

[–]redwall920 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Host a poker night at your house with you co-workers. BYOB. Get grill going or have some pizza. I love a good poker game, and I love good beer. It's a great socializing time IMO. If you make it a monthly thing there's chance of fostering relationships that are more than just 'co-worker' relationships. If it's fun, your co-workers will end up wanting to invite their friends.

On the altered state of mind thing ... I find I play better poker if I stick to 1-2 beer for the night. The size of my chip stack seems to have a negative correlation to the # of beers I drink once that # exceeds 2.

[–]Red-Curious0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

The biblical mandate is to maintain a sober mind. I have no problem drinking one or two here or there, including at bars. Scripture shows godly people drinking regularly. Solomon even notes in one of the proverbs that wine should be given to those who need to drink their sorrows away.

But drinking won't solve your social issues. There are better options out there. I just posted two links to a couple of my past posts to another guy on the main sub who was asking about loneliness or isolation. Check that thread and read those posts. They should help solve the social issues you're experiencing.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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