How to respond to girls who like to subtly brag about their sex life and or the attention they get from other guys?

Fresh_Pulse · 2020-01-10T07:10:08+00:00

Typically this is a shit test, they're trying to gauge your reaction and / or get clues about your sex life in order to gauge your SMV.

Anecdotally, I've been seeing this behavior more often with women that are particularly un-feminine. Since they tend to believe men and women are exactly the same, in their mind what they find attractive in men should make men attracted to them. In an attempt to raise their value in your eyes, the opposite effect occurs.

MikeAlphaGolf · 2020-01-10T09:56:12+00:00

They see you as the cool guy who ‘gets it’. You get laid. They want you to see them as a sexual being too, not a good girl. They’re trying to raise themselves to your level. They want you to treat them like a slut, not a good girl like every other beta nice guy ™. Give them the good fucking that they expect from you.

rockemsockemlostem · 2020-01-10T09:35:01+00:00

Never had a female try to brag about another dude's sexual prowess, but if they did, that'd be a no from me dawg.

ThatOneDrunkUncle · 2020-01-10T04:25:34+00:00

Yeah it's a shit test. What else would it be? If you don't do this subtly with girls who are into you, your arsenal is lagging. Don't do it with the wrong girl though, it's definitely off-putting if they're close to your smv or aren't sure about you yet. I wait until a girl brings up an ex first to bring up mine, but play it off in a fun way.

redhawkes · 2020-01-10T11:05:50+00:00

Im sure you're familiar with the saying "Your actions speak so loudly, I can't hear what you're saying."

Now, get this thing first in your head, if some chick talks about sex with you in any context, she's thinking of doing it with you.

Another one, solipsism, which adds to the previous line. They are attracted to the guys that other girls are attracted to - preselection. So in her solipsistic mind, if that works on her, it should work on you too. Your gut reaction is right tho, disgust, but they think it's DHV.

Last, don't talk about chicks you've banged, show it in your attitude. Guys who talk about fucking all the time are the ones who haven't seen a pussy irl. Do not kiss and tell.

It can be a shit test too, gauging your reaction. Simple AM, ignore, or A&A, then change subject. Don't take this shit seriously.

Dilduo · 2020-01-10T04:38:14+00:00

Shit test.

Dont bring up your ex or past encounters

Agree and amplify

Shes talking about her ex like hes the shit "oh let me grab his number he sounds fun"

That guys so hot "mhm what a hunk"

Or ignore

Mildly laugh, or say "not sure why your telling me" or "sounds great you should hit him up again"

Just show her that you dont give a shit about it and you dont care to play her game of trying to one up her. Really shes trying to break down your frame while at the same time find out about your past. Dont give her any of that.

ComplexProjection · 2020-01-10T10:40:26+00:00

Story time: I am at a friend's, and some girls I don't know start to tell their holidays where they were taking turn bringing men into the apartment to fuck them, and laughing out loud about this. I could tell they were looking for validation, but just grossed me out.

If a girl starts to do that, ask yourself if you really want to keep the interaction going.

hijodebluedemon · 2020-01-10T13:00:04+00:00

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eternalgnome · 2020-01-10T08:56:50+00:00

"I'm getting so many looks in this club"
This sounds like something an insecure girl would say who is trying to validate herself to others.
What HOT GIRL would ever feel the need to mention this out loud?
Curious what others think about this particular line.

AshyBoneVR4 · 2020-01-10T11:38:21+00:00

If a girl does that shit just ignore her. Think of it as a child bragging about getting the highest grade in an second grade elementary school class. Also, normally it's a way for her to see how many girls you've slept with. It's ok for her to have a high number but not ok for you.

teabagabeartrap · 2020-01-10T09:46:52+00:00

my experience so far was, that those are the ones, where the sex is shitty.
Maybe they want to brag, because they want to do good marketing as they know it is shitty.

GiraffeOnWheels · 2020-01-10T14:23:59+00:00

Well if you’re looking for an LTR it’s safe to say if you see any out that behavior, look elsewhere.

Corvus_Uraneus · 2020-01-10T13:48:50+00:00

Pressure flip:

"Every beautiful girl gets that kind of attention, even from creeps, but I thought you knew how to take care of yourself?"

If she can't shut down other guys advances, you're right, they're red flags and not LTR material since you said that's what you're looking for.

As for stuff their ex used to do or be good at, I tend to think of Patrice O'Neal's response, "I'm not gonna do what your ex boyfriend did, I don't care if you liked it. Imma fuck you the way I fuck and make YOU like THAT."

Foolishoe · 2020-01-10T16:06:32+00:00

Could be a shitty social habit they don't recognize is bad to talk about. People who kiss and tell, especially to potential future partners, are constantly shooting themselves in the foot. These types of people aren't really in the head space of conscious effort, this is a mindless thing they just do and talk about. This shit they say out loud that turns you off, they literally do that with 90% of the people they engage with. Typically if it is on the mind and coming out the mouth they are heavily fixated on it.

However, it also shows you that this woman is a great loudspeaker. Giving her an excellent experience magnifies your SMV through her conversation with others, just like she is doing with you, she will do with 10-50 other people in the coming weeks, months, hopefully years if you do it right.

They just don't know better yet. They are good enough looking that enough men are still licking those boots. Until she's crested the peak of her value level and starts corrupting into a shittier version of her best self, she will probably continue to act this way. The only way to fix it is to point it out and see how she reacts.

There was a post on here a few months ago maybe? A guy was listening to a woman go on about such things and he point blank asked her if she was a narcissist. She had no idea, but to this guy, she was bland and dumb and becoming more and more unattractive by her actions. Habits are hard to break, typically such an action by a male to a female just severs the relationship. She'd rather pretend you are crazy than accept the truth that she's been a social moron for half of her life, probably her entire sexually active life.

I think you just recognize this and carry on. Women with recent partners? Do you have paperwork stating you are clean? I wont have sex with a woman who outright claims promiscuity. Every new partner for the last decade I've been pretty serious about getting sexual checks prior to insertion.

Once you have a few plates or FWB such conversations ultimately become routine and comfortable, even enjoyable talking points.

miwol21 · 2020-01-10T13:15:57+00:00

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strainer123 · 2020-01-10T15:53:11+00:00

Subtly infer they're sluts and being a slut is disgusting.

imtheoneimmortal · 2020-01-10T10:47:30+00:00

Actually right now I’m talking with girl that she avoid talking about her past, yeah she told me she got a bf and they fucked but told me once or twice

She’s very interested if I fuck when and what girl and if I’m committed to someone

I don’t know if that’s good but she’s interested in me so why not

espionagent · 2020-01-10T11:42:28+00:00

respond with a smile, and genuinely ask them a question or make a comment that isn't needy or offended. act as if its no big deal, and she's just a friend. be fearless. have abundance.

or if you TRULY DGAF about them, then just tell them to phuck off

Pockyaf · 2020-01-10T11:29:31+00:00

As a 300+ lay count guy, I'm gonna say it's NOT a shit test. It's just a fun topic to talk about. It's probably the same thing girls would talk about around each other. If you're her fuckbuddy, then that's the reason why she's so casual.

I disagree that you should avoid talking about your past experience with her. First, it would show DHV, and again it's suppose to be a fun topic. If that's no the sort of relationship you're looking for then just bounce. Sounds like you're wasting time on this

thestickfighter · 2020-01-10T16:41:46+00:00

What if she does the opposite? She's constantly talking bad about her ex? Brings him up almost daily but not to praise him but shs talks about all the bad things he's done or is still doing. He's ex husband and has a kid with him. She's a plate.

curiousboyz · 2020-01-10T17:42:10+00:00

Tbh the girls that talk like this to me were noticeably better in bed. Just more into sex and higher sex drive. And ya they were more masculine I guess in their personality. Idk if it’s shit test. My impression was more they just think it’s fun to talk about or funny to make jokes / comments about sex. Like edgy or whatever.

mksu911 · 2020-01-10T17:51:06+00:00

It depends if I have already fucked them or not. If I haven't, I will just ignore, no need to react if I haven't gotten what I want yet. But if I've already fucked, then I like to call them out on it, because it's fun for me and I already got what I want.

Ivabighairy1 · 2020-01-10T18:20:58+00:00

Squint at them and say “That was you?”

mrpoopistan · 2020-01-10T18:48:50+00:00

They'll often start with "one time this guy..", "this one time with my ex..", "my ex was really good at.." "this guy I hooked up with last week.." or more situationally, "that waiter is cute", "this creep asked for my number the other day", "a guy bought me a drink", "I'm getting so many looks in this club", "some weird guy just messaged me", "haha, the bouncer just asked for my number".

That's a hodge-podge of different behaviors.

this creep asked for my number the other day

That's just a humblebrag. She's trying to sustain that there's interest in her. A lot of this shit is self-soothing behavior that you should just ignore.

Funny thing about women -- they'll never tell others about the guy they couldn't get. You'll never hear a woman declare, "He was like the hottest guy I ever saw, but he acted like I barely existed even after I tried humping his leg."

that waiter is cute

Shit test.

I'd go with a simple reply like "7 out of 10. Would bang." Be prepared for her to drag you into a further exchange with that one. If she tries to debate you, just muddy the waters by calling her a homophobe. Doesn't matter if she comes off as homophobic or not. Just throw a grenade in there to keep her off balance for entertainment value. None of this shit is a logic test.

haha, the bouncer just asked for my number

More self-soothing. I'd probably reply with, "At least he has a job." it's fair to just let that one slide entirely, though. I just like to start fights and talk shit on people.

my ex was really good at

Alpha widowing. More self-soothing, but also a red flag if you can't sustain whatever is her vision of alpha behavior.

Also, he probably wasn't a real ex. He was probably just a pump-and-dumper or a guy who was fucking her as a side chick. Don't expect her to concede that fact, though.

If you want to pick a fight -- and this is purely for entertainment value, not to advance any TRP goal -- you can always drop something like, "If he was the good one in the sack, what's that say about you?" Again, this serves no real purpose and is just a great way to pick a fight. Fighting with chicks is a form of game you shouldn't touch if you're not genuinely into it for the LOLs, but making fun of their sexual prowess is hilarious because they all think they're the queen of blowjobs.

Silva_Shadow · 2020-01-10T18:54:40+00:00

This shit comes from women who are either shit testing, or it comes from women who we feminists and think that they're equal to men, so they think a higher notch count and more experience actually makes them more valuable.

It's sad really.

DubbleFUPAwitCheez · 2020-01-10T19:06:05+00:00

You're going to hear "shit test" a lot here but to those guys everything is a "shit test". How you respond is important but here is the bottom line: The chances these girls will make good LTR material is low but it's partially your fault.

Women mirror the men they admire. As another said, she sees you as a sexual being that every girl wants so she wants to be at your level. Since you obviously have no interest in this stupid shit (she's always noticing when girls do it but you don't notice when guys do any of this crap) she has to tell you.

Here's how you can tell if you can turn this nonsense around. Do it back. Look for an opportunity to subtly remind her that girls want to fuck you and that you have fucked girls. If she reacts negatively, that's a good sign. It means she really is just doing it for your attention and she can be corrected into someone not annoying to be around.(Bear in mind I mean something like acting pouty or annoyed not losing her shit level negative)

Indifference is more bad than good but mostly it means she wasn't taking you seriously to begin with, react accordingly.

If she acts aroused or excited in some way it's a red flag. She's just a motel for dick. It comes and goes and that's fine. Her ability to attach is damaged and you should treat her as such. I.e. No Relationship.

i-am-the-prize · 2020-01-10T19:25:36+00:00

Be thankful, they're clearly disqualifying themselves as an LTR, makes your 'work' easier.

I was having a discussion with a woman on this topic and didn't reply to her last, but it fits here...

the reason a woman bringing up her SMV/access-to-cock/DHV is obtuse is because ABUNDANCE is non symmetrical between the genders. Any non-land-whale woman can get laid any night they want. Of course guys brought you a drink, and one asked for your number. No fucking shit. It happens all day long if you're not a cave troll. Welcome to being an HB5. Yet dumb women think "we're the same" but we're not. an HD5 guy cannot passively get laid on command like an HB5 woman can. (Game/PUA aside)
if she thinks she needs to mention this shit it means she doesn't know that you know about female Abundance, or she does and she's a moron. or it's the best she can do for a shittest which means shes lazy and/or stupid. I mean, c'mon, you got laid twice in 2 weeks? For a girl willing to spread her legs, those are rookie numbers!

The reason it's more effective for men to DHV through having your 'female target' notice you getting attention from other women is this:

Abundance is not the natural state for all men, so if you have it, you're one of the "special ones"
women use Social Proof as a shortcut to evaluating your fitness, so her seeing you talk to/get hit on/flirt with other women really does raise your stock with her Hamster (but not the other way around, which is her malfunction in projecting her eval matrix onto your view of her)

They way you handle it is:

ignore and keep discussing whatever you were before, or change subject and keep rolling
Agree and Amplify (she tells you about a guy with great tongue action): "sounds amazing, you should go have drinks with him and I'll bang his GF" keep a smirk/smile, remember, don't be angry, she's a child saying childish things. think: "this poor little retard is trying to get under my skin, bless her heart..."

The key is :

to not have it bother you and demonstrate that it means nothing to you, if you get bothered, you lose. If she can bother you with this trite BS you are a weak man who has no Frame and no strength and will be a jealous bitch in her eyes. If you ignore or AA/Amused Mastery reply, she sees she isn't getting to you and you pass a 'test' in her brain.
to not be afraid to offend her in your reaction. that's the key to NGAF and OI, if she gets offended and 'walks away' fine. She's one of a 1000 women who will suit your needs. Have this mindset: What you want you can get from any woman, what she wants and needs she can get only from you.

in the end, once you truly RP and AWALT it won't bother you in the slightest, remember, if you continue with this chick that night, it's not for LTR romance, it's just for bodily function and practice. So no worries, let her talk like a ho, she'll get treated like one.

lozboss · 2020-01-10T21:24:41+00:00

Don't be phased by it mate. Mate sure you don't fail the shit test. Ignore it as if she's talking about the weather / act bored.

However, afterwards I'd often next/ ghost these plates - they are low quality.

WiterS2 · 2020-01-11T01:49:40+00:00

That's a red flag. Never LTR one of those girls.
She craves validation. It makes easier to bed, by making her qualify herself. Dangle the carrot of approval for it. Reframe it like it's cool to be sexually adventurous.

redditcorrectly · 2020-01-11T02:22:05+00:00

Their bragging of their exes' sexual prowess indicates their fondness of you and also a challenge. Yes you're right they want to make you jealous, and see how you react to threir teasing and find out if you like them back. But also they want for you to prove them that you can do better than mentioned exes, maybe also be a little agressive in the process. Also, if they really like you and think you are better than them,or you are acting smugg, a way to put you down to their level and show you you are not as hot shit as they think you are (if that made sense). Also gauge your reaction to see if you are intimidated by their sexual energy and by independed female who takes whatever she wants (as they think they are) So in conclusion there are alot of reasons for meantioned behavior... You should respond camly, with confidence and maybe a smirk, and just reply with simple "sure", it shows that you are confident in your ability and not intimidated by their exes.

furcryingoutloud · 2020-01-10T16:22:53+00:00

"one time this guy.."

Me: "I don't care."

"that waiter is cute"

Me: I'm sure we can figure out a way to get you his number before we leave.

Agree and amplify, and if necessary, leave her there with the waiter, or ask her specifically if anything about your behavior indicated to her that you give a shit.

It's just stupid shit testing and you should forever remain aloof to those stories that are probably bullshit to begin with. Even if they are true, who gives a fuck?

You'd be pretty hungry to LTR some bitch with a story complex like that.