A woman is taken from me again - suicide... how to deal with harsh reality?

lolurfucked · 2020-01-04T20:38:56+00:00

It’s not your fault
Suffering will make you more mature so long as you don’t let it drive you to a dark place
Use the pain to push you to do great things for yourself and others

HurricaneHugues · 2020-01-04T22:50:45+00:00

Stay off this sub for a few months. Speak to a professional about the matter. You do not want to come here for the support you're looking for. The red pill degenerates and blue pillers here are severely underequipped to help you.

creating_my_life · 2020-01-04T21:02:37+00:00

never would have thought such a (seemingly) happy inidvidual could do that.

Lots of people who are happy on the outside aren't on the inside.

my girl died in a car accident and i survived.

I'm sorry that she died. That's a horrible thing.

should i never ever get close to another one?

'Tis better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. Think deeply about that, it's not just a cliche.

just bad luck and move on?

Most likely, yes.

no reason, no cause.

There was a reason. You just didn't know it.

no need to pull punches. lay it on me.

We're all born alone, we all die alone. Ultimately, life is suffering and we can only do our best. Look inside, be the best man you can be--whatever that means to you. Love the women you've lost, move on, and then love again.

Red Pill simply means not losing yourself while you love a woman. And the million little details that entails. It's okay to be lost. It's okay to hurt. It's not okay to ruin your life over it.

If you can't move forward, please consider seeking professional help.

jacques_cousteau007 · 2020-01-04T20:58:41+00:00

Look up Keanu Reeves biography

This shit is tough to go through Im sure, but at the end of the day, you’re the only one responsible for how you will approach the rest of your life.

Don’t succumb to survivors guilt

there are millions of people worldwide that have never bounced back from a traumatic event

But the people that turn it into something good (as difficult as that sounds right now) create extraordinary lives for themselves and those around them

Honor them. Live a great life.

Fromstatepharm · 2020-01-04T23:00:08+00:00

No advice. But sorry for the both losses. Legitimately sad.

dzkkne · 2020-01-04T21:39:43+00:00

Man, very few will be able to understand your pain here. This is not about RP or BP.. this is a human situation where anyone would be emotional and in need of answers. You should reconcile your feelings and try and understand what and why you feel. Don’t suppress your feelings, you need to come to terms and it has to come to you naturally.

For now forget about acting RP or BP, just try and understand what is going on in your head. Going through this process will make you a lot stronger mentally and you will need that in the future

Was-Erlauben-Strunz · 2020-01-04T21:46:12+00:00

Hey man sorry for your loss. From what've been reading you seem eager to get past it, my advice would just be don't be hasty and let it sink in, loosing someone you've been close with takes time accept it. Don't be afraid to be sad it is in no way a weakness, cry if you must.

Don't hold any guilt, when its showing its face respond with peace, and remember those people would not want you to be miserable about them but hold a dear memory from them.

Mourning should be about remembering the good stuff you lived with them as much as possible so you'll keep that as a souvenir and in a way they keep on living in your memory.

intl_plyrs_clb · 2020-01-04T22:05:50+00:00

You're human and part of the experience is feeling pain and suffering.

Let it flow through you, allow yourself to feel however you need to feel, just don't let the feelings take over long term.

Attachment happens and it makes loss hard. Go through the motions of grieving, don't let survivors guilt get to you.

Best of luck.

sicoks · 2020-01-04T22:50:58+00:00

This is not a RP or BP thing, what you’re facing will cause even the greatest of men great suffering, my only advice would be to face the pain, don’t drink it away because it’ll only come back and bite you in the ass at some point; and then ... whenever you’re ready; be it few weeks or few years; get back in there champ

rockyp32 · 2020-01-04T23:10:08+00:00

The bad side of TRP I think the complete shyness pf ur emotions ur supposed to feel that shit at a certain level just not a crazy amount. U found some good ones happened just keep pushin and you’ll still find others

BrodinsOats · 2020-01-04T23:17:47+00:00

Bro these are horrific tragic losses. What you’re feeling is normal. Don’t be hard on yourself for it. Yes we must strive to stoically accept the fact of death but it’s a hard fucking task, and that’s ok if it takes a hell of a lot of work. Let yourself grieve but also make sure you keep moving.

Seek out therapy/counseling imo.

jenovajunkie · 2020-01-04T22:54:32+00:00

Therapy, they are the best to deal with survivors guilt.

We as men get hurt all the time, it's as if life is supposed to be suffering.

There is no correct way to deal with this, just go through whatever avenue helps you. I highly recommend therapy as a starting point and I hope you get what you need.

SpearOfOrion · 2020-01-05T00:44:45+00:00

There's nothing wrong with feeling sad, it means you're human. It wasn't your fault, shit happens bro. It's ok to be sad, stay strong mate

cluelessguitarist · 2020-01-05T01:02:50+00:00

Mourn and let time do its thing man, its part of life. Hang out with family and friends

PhaedrusHunt · 2020-01-05T06:49:09+00:00

My sister committed suicide almost 20 years ago and I still get fucked up about it, especially around her birthday.

Ain't no shame in it brother.

when people die we wonder where they go what happens to them where did their soul go what will happen to us when we go?

It's okay there are egg heads that think they know the answer but really it's just a giant fucking mystery and it's confusing to every single person in the entire world if they think.

I'm really sorry you lost your girl back then and I'm really sorry you lost this one too man it's a tough road to hoe and that's just that

qwertyuiop111222 · 2020-01-05T01:21:22+00:00

i hate my weak side for being desperate and not being tougher

Dude, you're in pain. Your mind is going to fuck with you. Don't listen to it. Instead, feel free to post here, saying "Hey, this is what I am thinking right now. Is that a reasonable thought, or is my mind fucking with me?" I promise people here will care, and someone will write to you to give you some clarity.

Also, you're not born weak, or born tough. But rather, how you handle what life throws at you determines what you are made of. You don't have to be a strong man, whatever that means. You just have to be strong for today. That's it. Tomorrow, rinse and repeat for one more day. Then one year later, you can decide if you have become that strong man or not.

All that said, for today, find a dark corner in your house, and allow yourself to weep and suffer. Feel the pain. Write a letter that you wish she could read today.

Finally, do 10 push-ups every hour that you are awake. Having a strong mind can sometimes start with having a strong body.

I'm sorry for your loss. You are in hell, but I promise, you'll come out of it.

HeresToTheNext20 · 2020-01-05T01:44:58+00:00

[deleted]

Whisper · 2020-01-05T03:35:06+00:00

even tho i told myself to never get attached again to a woman, even if she seemed perfect

I never taught you that. I only taught you to save your love and protectiveness for someone who proved her worth.

To love is to expose oneself to loss... but, since time takes everything from us in the end, the only way to never lose is to never have.

You had. You lost. Grieve. Then find something new and live.

streaxy · 2020-01-05T06:03:42+00:00

“ A gem can never be polished without friction, nor a man be perfected without trials" - Seneca

I’m so sorry for your loss. I hope you find meaning in your suffering, and eventually overcome it.

mr4kino · 2020-01-05T00:05:42+00:00

That's tough. Especially the suicide one as you probably feel it might be your fault indirectly. Don't blame yourself if you treated her good. If she showed her happy side what more could you have done? Not that much to be honest.

From the comment you are not a religious guy so try to keep your head up. It's normal to have those feelings, RP or whatever pill. It's a "human" pill. Even more, if you said you didn't feel a thing I would be extremely worried about your mental health. So it's all normal. Be patient, time heal most of the things. Also it's a random behaviour, those are movies scenario you are talking about. Don't worry you are not a "death note". Finally if your don't feel like you are improving seek professional help.

Mr_Badass · 2020-01-05T00:45:14+00:00

You didn't cause, you can't control it, and you can't change it. Syay strong brother!

MagickalOne · 2020-01-05T01:44:50+00:00

Live through the emotions, let it out in a positive way. Dont become cold and cut off from others. In the end, with all this red pill stuff, women are only human just as men are. Dont be so harsh on either gender. It's okay for a man to feel and express emotions.

power_cleaner · 2020-01-05T02:16:29+00:00

One of my biggest fears is driving and dying in a car accident. It’s probably one of the worst if not the worst ways to go.

bearclaw5 · 2020-01-05T02:26:17+00:00

As a person who has experienced much grief, feel it fully. Don't deny it. It isn't fun I know. You will come out stronger.

As to what you should do about it in the future, I have no idea. Right now though, if I were in your shoes I would feel it fully, try to cope without denial or avoidance. I'm sorry for your loss.

RedPillAlphaBigCock · 2020-01-05T02:29:08+00:00

NOTHING WRONG with crying and feeling the loss. Keep going as you are now - ITS BETTER TO LOVE AND LOSS THAN TO NEVER LOVE AT ALL - Keep falling in love my brother, your heart only gets stronger after it breaks

mickey__ · 2020-01-05T02:36:44+00:00

So sorry mate

Harambe440 · 2020-01-05T02:40:22+00:00

you're human, not a robot. let yourself be sad for a bit but make sure to get up again and not let it define you.

Rivu99 · 2020-01-05T02:41:33+00:00

You’re gonna feel a plethora of emotions, and it’s important you accept them. Anger is a big one: you should feel comfortable expressing it for feeling abandoned. Suppressing grief has itself manifest in inconvenient times

MasterZigmo · 2020-01-05T02:47:30+00:00

There’s no shame in feeling grief. You’ve endured a monumental loss on more than one occasion. I wish I could more, I just feel for you my man. Be strong. Message me if you need to talk to someone without judgement.

qiis · 2020-01-05T02:53:02+00:00

Just give it time bro. Losses always suck, and honestly, there’s nothing you can do to make it better, apart from wait for time to tick away. That being said , you should try your best not to entertain the negative thoughts and continue being a man and Perusing whatever you’re doing. It sucks, but time will cure it.

IvyExcess · 2020-01-05T03:01:45+00:00

yo man. very sorry for your loss. look up the top asktrp posts of all time and look at the post about the guy whose girlfriend was diagnosed with cancer and given short time to live and how he handled it. i hope this helps.

INNASKILLZ2K18 · 2020-01-05T03:43:07+00:00

Mate, it is NOT your fault. There is no curse over you, or anything like that.

Unfortunately it is life. You have to seperate the events from you. Grieve, feel awful, but don't think you have to never get close to anyone again.

You're personalizing a very real fact of the world. People pass away, many self inflicted.

Personalizing it and thinking 'this is what happens when I get close' will mess up your head down the track

Iluvalmonds83 · 2020-01-05T03:48:08+00:00

I’m very sorry for your loss. Like many others said, it’s perfectly human to feel and work through these feelings; you’ll get through the mourning and it certainly does not make you “weak” to feel the way you do about another human being.

You hear several stories all the time about people losing close loved ones to suicide having never suspected they were suicidal. Some people are very good about hiding their pain and putting on a mask. It’s not your fault.

ducaati · 2020-01-05T06:03:36+00:00

You might be redpill, but you’re still human. I believe everyone has a range of emotion. Some can be stone-ice-cold. Others can do well emulating this, but it doesn’t come naturally, it isn’t their default mode. Feelings are, for some, inevitable. We still deal with them in our stoic, redpill way, as it sounds you are making an attempt to do. Don’t blame yourself, time heals all wounds. Drive on, brother, one day at a time.

amphix339 · 2020-01-05T07:04:03+00:00

Sometimes life doesn't make sense. Like a blip in a matrix. Everyone goes through a fair few in their lifetime.

You'll deal with it like you deal with anything else and move on. Find new things to get involved in and don't carry the negative effects of this tragedy affect other places of your life.

You will grow.

Zombiespire · 2020-01-05T07:59:28+00:00

I don't know how to deal with losing a person you care about. The only thing I know you should do, is lose yourself in the pain that comes with losing them. Because that is the evidence you cared about them at all. I know for sure some bastard here will tell you to "next" that person like they meant nothing at all, but a true human being will never be capable of doing that.

I am sorry bro. There is no way to ease yourself through painful loss. Do not come to asktrp to validate how you should grieve. Just grieve my friend, this is a genuinely painful time for you. And this is a time for you as a human, to go through it naturally. I am sorry, but there is no one that can make this easier for you, just go through it. Go through one of the most painful experiences of life.

MeansToABenz · 2020-01-05T08:35:45+00:00

I’m sorry for your loss boss.

swaghole69 · 2020-01-05T09:01:09+00:00

Sorry for your losses. Stay strong mate

HumbleTrees · 2020-01-05T09:08:02+00:00

Firstly it sounds to me like you need a grief counselor to support you currently. Please seek one out as a first step.

I am so sorry that you have experienced both loses like this. That is a date few men endure but statistically their will be outliers and for no reason at all, you are that outlier. It's just the way the penny falls.

Read Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. You'll find some peace in stoicism if you aren't already familiar with it.

Please remember that suicide was her choice. She has whatever issues she had and saw that as the release she needed. It was her will.

Just take some time off from trp, dating, and just process this shit.

Godspeed brother.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2020-01-05T09:25:36+00:00

One thing to bear in mind is that anything from a quarter to three quarters of suicides are impulsive. Mick Jagger had a girlfriend who offed herself. You just never know what's going on in another person's mind.

-ThePathIsTheGoal- · 2020-01-05T09:39:08+00:00

The only 2 bits of advice I can lend would be 2 facts:

1.) The unfortunate things that happened were in no way linked to you, who you are, or your worth. Don’t be afraid of getting close to someone after these events. They were not your fault.

2.) It’s completely natural to build an emotional connection to someone after 6 months. It’s normal to care, want to be around, or even feel love for them if you guys were close. Don’t let the try hard rednpillers who pretend feelings aren’t real or that “real men” don’t have feelings” cloud your perception.

Stay strong brother. I can tell by your post that you’re an intelligent guy that’s gets it. Sending good vibes your way.

_Ulan_ · 2020-01-05T14:12:54+00:00

I find it very significant that you speak out about it already. Many men would sink it inside and that often causes a severe depression.

People are the maestro of their own orchestra. If they think it's time to finish, or if they don't think the rest of the song will be worth it, they will stop the music. It's no one else's choice but theirs.

The lesson you are getting however, is a great lesson of humility and reality. It's easy to say that life can take you in all places, it's harder to get there intact.

Process your emotions, express them. No need to be overly dramatic, weak or strong.

Dirkz · 2020-01-05T16:46:19+00:00

Fuck the red pill right now man. I get that you're probably just looking for help, looking for an answer, but there isn't one. Its okay to feel low and shitty about the situation, that's life and you can't truly appreciate the good without the bad. This will serve as your reference point for years to come.

Take whatever lesson you can from this and grow, that's all you can do. Real life experience like that is going to be far more valuable than any mental masturbation that's going to be thrown at you from the red pill.

I am sorry that you're experiencing this, it will get better, life will go on. Best of luck on your journey, stay strong.

[deleted] · 2020-01-05T19:09:21+00:00

I think we’re all here because we lose women one way or another and have to come to terms with it just being a part of life. Obviously, we talk about getting dumped or a plate breaking. Mine broke last night and it was upsetting, but I came to my senses after a rough night of sleep that this is just the way it is. I think we all get attached to our favorite plates a little and thats okay as long as you are always taking care of yourself first.

Your situation and history obviously goes beyond that. This isn’t your fault. Really sorry that happened. I’d agree with finding someone to talk about it.

QuagOnGin · 2020-01-08T18:29:32+00:00

I’ve had an entire life filled with traumatic event after traumatic event (according to others looking in from the outside, honestly I thought it was normal for everyone) and all I did was chin up and push through subconsciously.

As more and more bad shit happened I was able to look back, understand, and learn about myself from each one. It is all you can do. Use your pain and suffering, which are undeniable human qualities, to turn yourself into the Apex Predator. Adopt the: “If I have already been through so much, there is nothing that can stop me.” Attitude and run with it.

DeadInTheFace · 2020-01-11T01:30:46+00:00

You were never redpill, but now you see your biggest weakness. Slap some primer on that gape and keep it moving. Never get too attached.

Infernir · 2020-01-05T00:47:18+00:00

Your past love isn't dead. She's apart of you eternally now, forever. She's engraved in you and losing her will either make you stronger or turn to the dark side living in self pity, depression, regret, guilt, humility, shame, exile, and pessimism.

I know TRP likes to be hard on guys who catch one-itis but its a completely normal human thing.

Don't be afraid to say it, you fell in love with a girl hard who was unlike any other you met and now she's dead, no matter what you do even if you become the greatest man on earth she will never be yours.

Also... there's always a reason for suicide. The majority of the time its just a RP reason that is either too dark, complicated, or socially unacceptable for BP society to acknowledge or address.

We don't live in a perfect world but an imperfect one, where the most evil men can get all the money, women and live glorious happy lives while the most righteous kind hearted man can stay in poverty & have less than 3 partners his whole life (all failed relationships that divorce raped him) simply because the evil man worked harder.

Casd12 · 2020-01-05T06:54:21+00:00

You people speak as if living isn't suffering.

You ask how to deal with the harsh reality of life, well the woman you liked dealt with it by abandoning it. Others fight on. It takes more courage to live than to kill yourself.

Since we're all going to die, it's obvious that when and how don't matter.

Reality isn't harsh. It's indifferent. It's not out to get you nor is it out to reward you. We as people like to attach meaning to everything. How can you attach meaning to something meaningless. Look up stoicism and/or read some Albert Camus

hoopingblob · 2020-01-04T22:27:33+00:00

A man should rejoice in adversity. Just like a soldier triumphs in a winning war.

SonofRedpill · 2020-01-04T20:56:03+00:00

If your religious pray for her. Either way put your head up and learn from it don’t allow her to be a onetis. Allow her to be a friend your grieving over is all.

vandaalen · 2020-01-04T23:37:28+00:00

do i choose the wrong kind?..

yes. keep away from the crazy.

jzekyll6 · 2020-01-05T02:04:18+00:00

You now have a way of eliciting sympathy from future plates.

Nergaal · 2020-01-05T02:21:43+00:00

1) grief is absolutely normal, wether BP or RP. sonly true sociopaths might not need to grief

2) something is wrong with your frame if you attracted somebody who is this unstable and you did not smell anything about it. weird that it managed to affect you this much but at the same time you did not see it coming. if you allow yourself to get attached this much, you should be better at vetting red flags. suicidal is a pretty big red flag which you should be better at reading out. it usually comes with many other red flags. if you ignore them, you risk getting exactly into the situation you are now.