A complete guide to picking up 9s and 10s
Today I want to tell you everything I know about getting the highest calibre girls from cold approach.
This guide will cover: frame control, inner game, and passing tests — which I consider to be the holy trinity of “9 and 10 game”.
This guide will NOT cover: body language, pulling, or handling logistics. Obviously, the latter are extremely important, but they’ve been adequately covered elsewhere, and there just isn’t space to include them here.
My background
Picked on in school, small and sickly, didn’t have a girlfriend until 18. Was dumped by her and spent the first 2 years of college pretty much celibate.
Got into redpill ideas through the old “Citizen Renegade” blog (which is now Heartiste). From there stumbled on RSD’s infield videos.
Started going out and approaching regularly. Approach anxiety and ceaseless rejection for months, but I kept at it. The odd success here and there.
After about 2 years I was fucking a new girl every fortnight or so, mostly 7s and 8s with the occasional turbo when fortune smiled on me. My current girlfriend is a 9, has done modelling etc.
Below is everything I know about getting the hottest women from cold approach pickup.
This is specially engineered for getting 9s and 10s and dealing with the kind of bullshit these girls will inevitably give you.
If you’re more into sleeping with tons of 7s (and there’s nothing wrong with that), this might be overkill.
When I was single I personally was one of those guys who would rather fuck half a dozen 9s/10s in a year than 50 mid range girls, so my whole approach to game is based on optimizing for that.
Take it for what it is — I’m not saying my approach is better, this is just how I roll based on my preferences.
This is a long post. You may want to bookmark it and return to it later if you’re particularly concerned with getting the hottest girls. There’s a lot of subtle points in here that won’t be immediately clear on a first reading.
PART 1: THE ATTRACTION PROCESS
1. Women are attracted to you because you have a stronger frame than they do.
That’s all.
There’s nothing else to it.
Attraction is purely a function of the fact that:
1. you’re a man
2. you have a stronger frame than the girl
As a man, you naturally have a strong frame of reality whereas women don’t. Therefore they value that. (Having a strong frame is a result of high testosterone levels.)
2. Women would rather fuck an ugly guy with a strong frame than a handsome guy with a weak one
Evolution has designed women to be very flexible in terms of who they’ll become attracted to.
Women would rather fuck an ugly guy with a strong frame (i.e. a natural leader) than a handsome guy with a weak frame (cowardice, uncertainty).
That’s because women who chose to fuck the latter ultimately had their genes rooted out of existence by the brutal conditions of ancestral life.
In consequence, women now are very adaptable. They have the capacity to be attracted to almost ANY man so long as his frame is stronger than hers.
3. A girl can ONLY get horny for you if you have a stronger frame than her.
Think of this like a mathematical equation. There’s no getting around it, no cheating it, no short-circuiting it. It is an immutable law.
Women want to submit to you. They want to submit to a strong man. But she can’t submit to you if your frame is weaker than hers.
Physiologically, girls can’t even become wet for a guy who has a weaker frame than they do. It’s literally impossible.
4. “Be a man. Act like you have answers.” (Bill Burr)
What is a strong frame? Fundamentally, it’s a sense of certainty in everything you do. This certainty manifests itself as calmness in the face of social pressure.
Simply put, in a cold approach pickup, the woman becomes attracted to you because you’re more relaxed than she is.
That’s all.
That might seem strange, but it’s actually not.
The very fact that you approached the girl at all demonstrates a massive amount of confidence and social value (either real or potential).
So once you’ve approached the girl and gotten her into a conversation, the game is yours to lose. She’ll inevitably become attracted to you because you’re a man, and because you have a stronger frame than she does.
5. Relax
You will approach women, and you will make mistakes. That’s fine. Women don’t want you to be perfect. They only want you to be a man.
You are not physically perfect. Neither am I. Neither is anyone.
Women are not looking for perfection. They’re only looking for a man who has a stronger psychological frame than they do.
And fortunately for you, you already have a naturally stronger frame than women.
An example of this is how women will freak out over spiders or mice, jump up and down, scream, and so on, whereas a man will calmly deal with the situation without it breaking his frame.
6. She tests your frame to test your masculinity. The two are the exact same thing.
Women are attracted to masculinity. And masculinity can be defined as a measure of how much pressure a man can endure without it breaking his frame.
When you approach a hot woman, she immediately starts trying to break down your frame.
She’s testing it for strength.
If your frame crumbles in the face of her frame, she knows you’re not a man — because men have a stronger frame than women.
Fortunately, your frame will not crumble. A girl’s frame will always “buckle” under yours after you pass several of her tests. It’s instinctual. Women want to be with the strong man. When she sees you have a strong frame she starts getting wet.
7. “Listen, smile, nod, agree — then do what the fuck you were gonna do anyway.” (Robert Downey Jr.)
Women test me all the time. Women have said things to me that are totally brutal — called me ugly, too short, a loser, etc.
Most of the women I approach will make a weird face or pretend to ignore me for the first 10-20 seconds.
It doesn’t penetrate. It doesn’t cause any emotional reaction whatsoever inside me. I smile, nod, agree and then keep talking to her as if she’s being nice to me.
Eventually, she starts responding. Then she starts laughing. And then we have sex.
A woman’s frame will ALWAYS buckle under yours. It’s not a question of “if”, but “when”.
8. Chasing hot girls gives you a “charge”
When you’re first getting into game, it’s fine to only approach 5s and 6s.
Many of these girls will be super nice to you, and that’s cool. A lot of them are fantastic in bed.
But once you start to get some experience, you’re naturally going to want to move up the ladder and start laying 8s, 9s and 10s.
This is a natural instinct, and it’s good. It’s okay to chase girls just because they’re hot. These girls want you to chase them. If they didn’t, they wouldn’t make themselves hot.
Part of being a man is that you can appreciate a woman’s beauty and femininity. It gives you a charge. And pursuing women who are “out of your league” (by society’s false standards) also gives you a charge.
9. Seducing a 9 is no different from seducing a 5
The process of attraction is exactly the same. The only difference is that the hot girl’s frame is stronger than the chubby girl’s.
But ultimately, no matter how strong a hottie’s frame is, your frame will always be stronger, because you’re a man.
10. Women will test you brutally when they want to sleep with you
When you approach any hot girl, she’ll test your frame HARD to see if it’s strong.
She’ll act like a bitch. She’ll pretend to ignore you. She’ll tell you outright to go away.
She wants to see if you’ll buckle to social pressure, or if your frame will remain calm and consistent regardless of external feedback.
She actually WANTS to sleep with you — but she needs to test your strength first.
Don’t be fooled by the bitch persona for a second. It’s a carefully cultivated TEST.
Most men fail the test because they don’t even realize they’re being tested.
11. Fight Club analogy
Getting a hot woman into bed is like the hazing scene in Fight Club where the new recruits are lined up outside the door.
Tyler berates the recruits with personal insults. “Too old, go away.” “Too fat, go away.”
He forces them to stand outside for days. He tells them there’s no possibility they’re getting in. Most give up. But the few who stay are ultimately invited inside.
Seducing the hottest women is the same. It’s a WAR OF ATTRITION.
Women will fuck pretty much any guy who’s around at the end of the night so long as he has a stronger frame than she does.
But you have to stick around. You can’t leave when she insults you or acts like she doesn’t want to talk to you. If you do, you’re failing her tests.
We’ll get into the mechanics of passing these tests in a moment. First we need to talk about inner game, which is the basis of out-framing anyone.
PART 2: INNER GAME
12. The battle is won or lost inside you before it’s ever fought
We’ve said that the only way to AROUSE a woman to the point that she wants to sleep with you off cold approach is to pass her tests.
How do you pass these tests?
The first principle is to understand is that all tests are FRAME tests. The entire purpose of tests is to see if you have a strong frame that won’t buckle under pressure.
Therefore, it’s useless begin with talking about “how to pass tests”. The real value is in having a strong frame to begin with. As Sun Tzu says in the Art of War, “every battle is won or lost before it’s ever fought.”
13. The “I am enough” frame = the gold dust that gets you 9s and 10s
The basis of your inner game is the idea that “you are enough”. In other words, you have value to women simply because you’re a man.
Everything else is built upon that foundation.
You don’t have to “do” anything to attract a girl. She’s attracted to you simply because you’re more relaxed than she is.
You don’t have to change anything. You don’t have to improve your “game” beyond what it’s at now. You don’t need to become better looking.
You CAN do all these things if you want and they will help you. But you don’t have to.
You’re already “good enough” simply because you’re a man — because you’ve got testosterone and a dick. Women value that.
14. Men and women are meant to get together
We fit together like a key and a lock.
There have been studies done in which women smell men’s sweaty t-shirts, and it changes the chemistry of their brain — making them more relaxed and calm.
Your “male-ness” is inherently attractive to women. Same way as their femininity is inherently attractive to you.
15. Standards are a myth — everyone is a horny scoundrel
We have been brainwashed in our culture into believing that people (women) have something called “standards”.
Women don’t have any standards — not really. Neither do men.
Imagine you’re naked in bed with a “4”. She’s kinda chubby, plain face, you probably wouldn’t be proud of the lay, whatever. But her skin’s soft, she smells good, and she’s naked and wet.
Are you going to say no?
Probably not, if we’re being honest with each other. You’d almost definitely fuck her if you could be CERTAIN that (a) she’d leave afterwards, and (b) no one would find out.
There’s a natural magnetism between men and women. We have no willpower around each other.
Women are the same way. Take it from someone who’s “shot out of his league” too many times to count.
16. Be her cheat meal
You can be a “4” and she can be a “9”. If the circumstances are right, she’ll fuck you so long as there’s no downside. Why? Because sex feels good.
Even the hottest, slimmest yoga bunny pigs out on pizza every once in a while. It’s human nature. We’re not strong. We’re weak.
We pretend to have “standards” to the outside world. But down deep inside, no one has any standards, and we know it. We have no will, no self-control.
Hot women are the same.
If you can hold frame, pass a woman’s test, and lead her to somewhere sex can happen while creating plausible deniability, she WILL fuck you.
You’d be amazed how easy it is when you get it down.
17. Stop thinking you need to be an “alpha” to get hot girls — helpful at first but it will ultimately stress you out
Your frame is: “I am enough.”
Your frame is NOT “I’m a badass alpha who’s better than everyone”.
That’s hard to uphold in the face of conflicting evidence, and will cause cognitive dissonance and stress.
It’s simply: “Women and men are meant to get together. I’m a man. Therefore, women are already attracted to me on some baseline level.”
That’s not a hard frame to maintain. It doesn’t stretch the truth. It doesn’t cause cognitive dissonance.
And therefore it’s MUCH MORE RESILIENT in the face of tests and resistance — which is the most CRITICAL element to getting the hottest girls.
18. Cultivate a “reality distortion field”
In order to do this, you must fully INTERNALIZE the “I am enough” belief system.
Understanding it in theory isn’t enough. You have to feel it with your whole “mass”. You have to believe it with total, unquestioning, brainwashed conviction.
The more you think about the idea that there’s no reason you’re not enough, the more it will feel “true”. (Things become true to us through repetition, not through logic.)
Use self-hypnosis if necessary. Find every reason you can to support the belief that you’re enough, while cultivating “deliberate blindness” to anything that contradicts it.
Don’t be a slave to logic. Make logic a slave to you. This is how you cultivate a “reality distortion field”.
PART 3: HOW TO MAKE WOMEN HORNY BY PASSING THEIR TESTS
19. Enduring tests = building attraction
When you approach a woman, she immediately starts testing you. By passing her tests, you demonstrate that your frame is stronger than hers. This makes her horny for you.
Women are wired in such a way that they can’t become wet for a man unless he’s overcome some kind of resistance to get her. Hence, tests actually help you to seduce her. You want her to test you. The more tests you endure, the faster she’ll sleep with you.
When a girl is so into you that she doesn’t test you, this is how you end up on a 3rd date with a woman who still won’t put out.
Tests are your friend.
20. Passing tests is where ALL attraction is ultimately generated.
Attraction is NOT generated by pickup lines and witty comebacks.
Attraction is NOT generated by manipulation techniques.
Attraction is NOT generated by looks or money.
All of these things WILL increase your probabilities of getting laid, and make your game smoother and more streamlined.
But they’re NOT what builds ATTRACTION.
The one and ONLY thing that builds attraction is ENDURING A WOMAN’S TESTS.
The reason for this is obvious when you think about it:
21. Enduring her tests = ability to overcome adversity = GOOD GENES
Women have to see you have a strong frame, because otherwise they have no confidence that you’ll be able to protect them and remain calm in the face of danger.
And the ONLY way they can figure out if you have strong frame is by testing you, being bitchy, insulting you, brushing you off, ignoring you, etc.
That might seem “unfair” to you.
But if you can’t handle the abuse from some blonde chick in a bar, how the fuck are you going to handle beating a 7ft tall man to death with your bare hands when he and his tribe invade your village and try to gang-rape your girl?
Think about it.
22. Women aren’t built for Starbucks. They’re built for the African savannah.
Women aren’t built for the modern world. They’re built for nature, red in tooth and claw.
If you understand that, you’ll do things differently. You won’t take it so personally when you approach a girl and she tries to destroy you.
It’s necessary.
Hot women aren’t acting bitchy to you because of feminism. They’re acting bitchy to you because they WANT to fuck you — but they can only do so after they’ve proved that you have a stronger frame than they do.
This is instinctual. It’s part of the natural order.
Innate female bitchiness existed long before feminism. Testing men who approach them is encoded into female DNA.
When you get bitter at hot women for testing you, you’re being just as anti-nature as feminists themselves.
23. Eliminate self-destructive beliefs
There’s a common myth in the seduction community that a girl who acts “bitchy” to your approach is fundamentally flawed and therefore “not worth pursuing”.
This is totally ludicrous.
In fact, it’s just an incidence of “sour grapes” — cognitive games we play with ourselves to rationalize that the grapes we can’t reach are sour.
The reality is that if a girl has ANY VALUE WHATSOEVER, then she will test you hard during your first approach.
24. Embrace tests
Do you want a woman who says yes to every cock who comes along without putting up the slightest resistance?
Or do you want a woman who actually DISCRIMINATES among men based on their value — and who CHOSE YOU over hundreds of other suitors because you had the highest value?
If you’re a normal, healthy man, you want the second woman — and that means you must LOGICALLY EXPECT her to test you hard, and to test you with everything she’s got.
And you must not only expect tests, but APPRECIATE them.
You LIKE it when a girl acts bitchy on your approach. It means that if you settle down with her, she’s likely to act bitchy to OTHER GUYS who approach her, scaring them away.
The higher a woman’s value (in looks and character), the harder she will test you by ACTING “boring” and “bitchy”. This is the way it is and will be. This way and not some other way.
Luckily, passing tests is the fastest way to create arousal and horniness. This means that, paradoxically, the hottest women are often the easiest to seduce if you know how to pass their tests.
THE TWO CATEGORIES OF “TESTS” HOT GIRLS WILL GIVE YOU, AND HOW TO PASS THEM
Women will give you two types of tests — active tests and passive tests.
25. Active tests
Active tests are covered frequently in PUA literature.
When a woman insults you, belittles you, mocks you, or says something provocative to get a reaction — these are all examples of active tests.
Common “brush-off” lines like telling you she has a boyfriend, saying you’re a nice guy, telling you LJBF — these are also active tests.
I won’t talk much about passing active tests as this material has already been done to death in the redpill/PUA world. (Just look up anything on “shit tests”.)
Suffice to say, the best way to pass active tests is to either:
a. Agree and amplify.
b. Ignore the test and continue as if you didn’t even hear it.
Generally speaking, getting active tests is VERY GOOD. If the girl’s actively testing you, it means she’s definitely interested. It’s also a very easy way to demonstrate your strength of frame by being a charming asshole in response.
26. How to get past her “bitch shield” persona and into her knickers: recognize and endure passive tests
But there is another type of test, which is MUCH more important to understand.
This is the PASSIVE TEST. This is almost NEVER covered by PUA/redpill literature — yet these tests are actually the most COMMON you’ll encounter, particularly when dealing with 9s and 10s.
Passive testing happens when you approach a girl and she appears to be INDIFFERENT, BORED, or ALOOF.
“Resting bitch face” is a passive test. Giving you only one word answers is a passive test.
And — my favorite — when you go to approach a hot girl and she looks at you with a face of half-disgust, half-horror, and runs away.
Utterly BRUTAL as it seems — yes, even THAT is a test.
27. Don’t confuse passive tests with “rejection”
99% of guys interpret passive tests as REJECTION. Even natural alphas do.
And that’s totally understandable.
I mean, it makes sense right?
If you approach a stunner and she takes one look at you before making a “creeped out” face to her friend, and then they run away — that’s obviously a rejection, right?
Well, what if I told you that at least half the women I’ve slept with in my life reacted like that (or similarly badly) when I approached them?
Here’s a particularly good example:
28. “Rejection” is not rejection
There was this girl I went to college with. Brunette, hot, did modeling work in her spare time, socially was one step down from a “minor celebrity” in my city.
Probably one of the 10 or 15 hottest girls in my college.
I always wanted to fuck this girl, because she seemed smart and interesting as well as just hot. But I rarely saw her around.
One day she passed me in the stairwell, and I thought “this is probably the only chance I’m ever going to get”.
So I approached her and blurted. “Hi, I’m Mike”. Good eye contact. Held my hand out to shake hers. Whatever.
She looked at me like I had leprosy.
I mean, she literally RECOILED. Her eyes went wide in horror, as if I was trying to infect her with AIDS.
She shook my hand limply and muttered some social nicety back, then ran away swiftly.
WOW… Now THAT’S a rejection, right?
Well, the story has an addendum. That woman is now my girlfriend. Has been for three years. She’ll probably be the mother of my children.
So what’s going on here?
If she was attracted to me (which she later told me she was), why did she appear to “reject” me?
Answering this question is the THE KEY to mastering all of game and social dynamics. You ready?
Ok, here we go:
29. You are TOO HIGH VALUE
Yes, you read that correctly.
When you’re getting “rejected” by girls, it’s because YOU’RE TOO HIGH VALUE FOR THEM, and it makes them nervous and self-conscious.
Stay with me here. I know this sounds paradoxical, but try to grasp it.
30. Women are nervous around you
When you approach a woman out of the blue, it demonstrates a LOT of value. More than you probably realize.
This is because 97% of guys DON’T APPROACH AT ALL. (Those who do are usually drunk and sloppy.)
This means that if you’re an average to fair looking guy, and you cold approach a girl, you’ve just put yourself in the top 3% of men in terms of confidence.
In other words, she is going to naturally ASSUME that you are an alpha male (whether this is true or not).
This makes her NERVOUS and SELF-CONSCIOUS. She’s ill at ease around you because she wants to make a good impression.
So she tries to act “cool”, “aloof”, and “standoffish”… because she feels awkward.
She says bitchy things… because she can’t think of anything else to say.
She run aways… because she feels anxious around you and doesn’t know what to do next.
In other words: you’re coming across as TOO HIGH VALUE.
Women are nervous around you. Be patient with them!
Dumb yourself down. Hold frame, tease them, keep smiling warmly.
Eventually they’ll open up and start laughing, flirting back, and ultimately get turned on by the fact that you out-framed them in a way no other man ever has.
BONUS: THE 6 MOST COMMON TESTS HOT GIRLS WILL GIVE YOU AND HOW TO PASS THEM IN A WAY THAT BUILDS ATTRACTION
#1. You approach her, say hi, and she makes a weird face, or pretends to ignore you.
Simply keep talking as if you expect her to talk back. She’s nervous and self-conscious and doesn’t know what to say. That’s why she’s acting “bitchy” — you’re too high value for her and she feels anxious, causing her to try to act cool.
Don’t react to her. Keep your body language open and relaxed. Warm smile, unwavering eye contact. Keep talking. Eventually she’ll start talking back and responding positively.
#2. You’re talking to a girl and she acts indifferent or aloof, only gives you one word answers, or keeps looking off into the distance
Again, you simply have to ENDURE IT. Keep talking, keep being playful. Teasing her a little bit never hurts either. “Are you this charming with all the guys?” “This bitchy cheerleader persona you’re putting on is really turning me on, please keep it going ;-)”
When she sees you’re not going to go away so easily, her frame will crack. She’ll start to smile. Attraction.
#3. You’re talking to a girl and she leaves to go to the bathroom, says “I have to go find my friends”, or runs away for no apparent reason.
Let her go. Then re-approach her later. I can’t tell you how many girls have run off on me, then I approach them half an hour later and they’re like “Oh it’s you!” and then we hook up.
Why do women leave? Again, they’re NERVOUS.
Have you ever approached a hot girl and things were going TOO WELL? The girl is smiling and laughing…. she’s responding well… and…. you freak out! You don’t know what else to do, but you don’t want to fuck it up, so you leave set!
GIRLS DO THIS TOO. Women will “run out of things to say” and run away because they’re nervous and overwhelmed by being in a high value person’s presence, same as guys will.
Let her go, then re-approach her next time you see her.
She will respond extremely well 90% of the time in my experience. She’ll literally be GRATEFUL to you that you gave her another chance. Women have told me this explicitly.
#4. If you’re talking to a girl and she tells you outright that you should leave, or says “well, you should go back to your friends”, “it was nice meeting you”, etc.
Smile, nod, agree, and then continue talking to her as if she said nothing. Never leave set because a girl tells you to.
SHE can walk away if she wants. She has that right.
But in a public space like a bar or nightclub, you’re well within your rights to talk to whoever you want.
It’s Saturday night. It’s a social environment. You’re mixing with people.
You’re free to talk to whoever you want, and she’s free to walk away at any time.
But if she tells YOU to leave, it’s simply a test of your frame. She wants to see that you won’t buckle under social pressure.
Pass the test by ignoring it. If she tells you to leave again, look her in the eye with a sly smile and say “You’re free to go if you want to.”
Her eyes will light up and she’ll punch you in the arm. Pussy dampening commences.
#5. You’re talking to a woman and there’s an uncomfortably long lull in the conversation.
Stare into her left pupil while saying nothing. Instant sexual tension.
#6. You approach a woman, or a group of women, and they attempt to mock or belittle you.
They’re nervous around you because you’re the alpha male in the environment. (As demonstrated by the fact that you approached.)
They feel uncomfortable in your presence because you’re high value, and so they’re trying to maintain frame by making nervous jokes.
Smile, nod, agree, and keep talking to them AS IF they were being perfectly nice to you. If you act like they’re being civil, eventually their frame will buckle to yours and they actually WILL begin to act civil.
That’s the nature of having a stronger frame: you create reality. Other people adjust themselves to it.
TL;DR
1. Women value you because you have a STRONGER FRAME than them. That’s all.
2. To figure out if you’ve got a strong frame, women test you. These tests come in the form of indifference, bitchiness, aloofness, personal insults, etc.
3. You don’t have to do much to pass these tests. You just have to ENDURE them, keep talking to her, teasing her a little and being normal. Over time, her frame will buckle and she’ll become aroused by you because she sees you have a strong frame that can’t be pushed around.
4. Attraction is a passive, not an active process. You attract hot girls by outframing them. You outframe them by enduring their tests without it breaking your frame. Eventually they “buckle” to you and become wet, laugh at your jokes, ask you what you’re doing later, etc. Then you can take her hand and lead her to the sex location and she’ll be compliant.
5. The hotter the woman, the harsher will be her tests. Paradoxically, this can actually make hotter women easier to attract, because if you can endure her tests you stand out massively from other guys. Compare to an average girl: her tests won’t be as hard, so you have to pass more of them and spend more time with her before she can see you’re strong
If you’ve found this guide helpful, you might like my blog. Start with my most popular post: The Ultimate Guide To "Same Day Sex"
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