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Pregnant woman at the office tried to boss me around and when I refused to cave in, the other women "jumped" me... wtf? (self.asktrp)

submitted by myke98

She didn't need any help, she was sitting there chatting with other women and I had just came in. A few seconds later, she says "Mike, would you make me a coffee please?"

She said it with a mocking tone of voice and a stupid grin on her face, hoping I'll do it so that I don't look like an asshole. However, I know she walks up and down the stairs regularily, so she's not tired to the point she can't stand up...

I deflected and asked another one of the women to do it, in a joking manner, like if I was delegating. I didn't put the pregnant chick on the spot.

And then another woman tried to "jump me" by saying "is it possible for you to act like a human being for once? Why do you always have to bother people?"

And I deflected that too, by changing the subject. At that moment, a fourth woman said "screw it, I'll make her some coffee, can't stand this..."

EDIT: Just to give some context, these women were:

1) pregnant chick, 34yo, hb5, married.

2) chick I asked to make the coffee: 39yo, hb5, spinster.

3) chick that put me on the spot: 43yo, married, son, hb4.

4) the chick that made the coffee and acted annoyed: 25yo, ltr, hb4.

There was a fifth one, hb4, married, son, who said nothing.

tl;dr: I had just came into the office, and I hadn't said anything to provoke this, I was only listening to their conversation.

What do you do in these situations? Treat me like a beta sucker and if I refuse, you even get pissed? Wtf?


[–]Mildly_Sociopathic119 points120 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

They're annoyed you're not their errand boy.

[–]Billee_Boyee118 points119 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Actually, I think you handled it perfectly. For all you know they were just talking about what a little bitch you were, and the 'Make me a coffee' line was a diss all the women understood.

You refusing broke their entire narrative. Finally, after failing to break your frame, and unwilling to admit that Pregnant Bitch could make her own damn coffee, one of the other harpies had to do it to save what little face was left for them.

Bitches were sitting around for how long before Pregnant Lady decided you were coffee boy?

You owe nobody coffee. They are pissed because you made them wet.

[–]yes_we_can_t89 points90 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

They are pissed because you made them wet.

Lol. Clearly they still look down on him, they won't get the tingles just because he refuses to do what they command.

They're pissed because they feel they're higher value than him and he disagreed. They're not wet. They're more likely to be planning how they can take him down a notch.

Rest of your comment is spot on though.

[–]BH40 points points [recovered] | Copy Link

LMFAO!!!

You fuckers kill me sometimes... I'm trying to work here! Quit making me spit out my coffee!

[–]Billee_Boyee2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'll quit if you can get a pregnant lady to make you the next cup.

[–][deleted] 36 points37 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Ghost this job.

In the meantime, just say 'sure' and walk away but don't actually make the coffee, then disappear for a while and pretend you guy busy doing real work.

[–]trprdtor26 points27 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ahahaha ghosting a job. Please never go outside and keep posting in every single thread, I fucking love you dude.

[–]myke98[S] 6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

How old are you? :)

[–]Sensei_Hensei0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Lmfao...you are a classic human being

[–]hatefulreason21 points22 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

wtf is up with all these trolls? you can't blame everything on rule1 rule2. women give everyone shit so they feel better about themselves, he handled it well enough, i would have been more of an asshole, i don't give a shit that she's pregnant as long as she's not a well behaved colleague (does me favors) or a friend

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon41 points42 points  (25 children) | Copy Link

she says "Mike, would you make me a coffee please?"

She set you up... probably had this all arranged with the rest of them... overtly (let's all do this) or covertly (slams you so they're all prepped to jump).

I deflected and asked another one of the women to do it

You shouldn't give her question any validity. You should look at her as if she's retarded..... or (if you have to be nice)... "No" or just look away and continue your day.

Why would you ask another woman to do it? It just makes her question look reasonable. Her pregnancy doesn't make you her slave.

She KNEW you would react badly to this, this was a set up. They detected your weakness and pounced collectively.

And then another woman tried to "jump me" by saying "is it possible for you to act like a human being for once? Why do you always have to bother people?"

What's going on: they sense weakness. They are trying to shame you for not being a good little slave. This has all been going on for weeks and months, this is NOT about today's interaction.

What do you do in these situations? Treat me like a beta sucker and if I refuse, you even get pissed? Wtf?

They are annoyed as a further negotiation tactic. Partly thought out, partly at the level of feelings.

Thing is..... you have to admit they called it right. You got annoyed, you're worried, you're asking us about it. You have to accept they got it right in order to grow from this.

[–]myke98[S] 10 points11 points  (17 children) | Copy Link

You make all valid points. but why is it a weakness if I don't give in?

You are right, this isn't the first to time they try to get me down to do stuff, and I keep shutting them down. That's why the old fart said "Why can't you behave normal?", this isn't the first time I just do what I want and not what they want.

I don't understand the last part, about getting annoyed. I'm not worried, this ain't new, but why shouldn't I feel annoyed?

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

"why can't you behave normal?"

Most men are pussy beggars without self respect in regards to women, so to them you weren't being "normal".

I think you did okay, but agree with Mattyanon that you should not have passed it along to another. And always maintain frame and don't let annoyance show in your demeanor.

[–]myke98[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It was my way of keeping it light because I turned to the "spinster" who has the hots for me, and she both laughed and validated me. I didn't show I was annoyed, I'm just posting about it now

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon8 points9 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

You make all valid points. but why is it a weakness if I don't give in?

Because you lost frame. You showed you cared. You CARE what they think. You even tried to help - by getting someone else to get her a coffee, rather than simply invalidating her request.

That's why the old fart said "Why can't you behave normal?", this isn't the first time I just do what I want and not what they want.

You're being a bad beta in their eyes. You are displaying weak/beta traits, and when they try to get you to act as a beta, you don't. Bad beta is not the same as alpha.

If you were seen as alpha...... she'd hobble across on all fours to get YOUR coffee.

While that's often not realistic especially in a work scenario... this is all stemming from your perceived weakness.

. I'm not worried, this ain't new, but why shouldn't I feel annoyed?

You're annoyed they picked on you. This is part of why they do it- to get a reaction.

[–]myke98[S] 4 points5 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I didn't try to help her, I just told another one to do it in a clearly joking manner: I deflected, that's all.

Anyways, I'm not annoyed that they picked on me, I'm annoyed that they did it in way that didn't allow me to respond the way I wanted to. "You go get your own coffee, princess", would have been met really bad by them, and I cannot just tell every woman in the office to fuck off without consequences...

The part about how they perceive me makes sense, thanks man. Should I just keep my head down then? Because I've been sort of tossing aside every single opinion they have, irrespective of how they see me (alpha or beta).

And, in these cases, I can take any kind of shit about me fromthese women (in the sense that it doesn't bother me), but if I don't reply in any way then it's just me standing there getting provoked by a fat old hb4 who doesn't even shave and looking like an idiot...

What I'm trying to say is that I don't care if a woman thinks I'm a loser beta midget, I'll stand my ground and tell her to fuck off, if necessary. However, I can't do it in the office, and they took advantage... I don't know if I'm making any sense man.

EDIT: I just re-read your post, and yes, I cared not what they think but what they say becuase it can impact me and my work relationship in that place, and there's absolutely nothing wrong about that.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

The part about how they perceive me makes sense, thanks man. Should I just keep my head down then? Because I've been sort of tossing aside every single opinion they have, irrespective of how they see me (alpha or beta).

I can't be sure... but I think you feel you need to deflect, and they detect that you need to deflect.

If you were high status, you wouldn't need to deflect, you could just ignore it or say "no".

I think they detect they have leverage, that you are in a weak position, and take advantage of it.

What I'm trying to say is that I don't care if a woman thinks I'm a loser beta midget, I'll stand my ground and tell her to fuck off, if necessary. However, I can't do it in the office, and they took advantage... I don't know if I'm making any sense man.

You're happy to stand your ground, but you're not happy to ignore them as if they don't exist? Why is this? Why do you stand and fight instead of ignoring and walking away?

EDIT: I just re-read your post, and yes, I cared not what they think but what they say becuase it can impact me and my work relationship in that place, and there's absolutely nothing wrong about that.

There really IS everything wrong with this attitude of yours, which seems to be "I will stand and fight because what you say matters to me and my career so I will try to get you to behave as I want you to and to show me respect".

You want to know what's wrong with it? It fundamentally DOES NOT WORK.

Quit fighting with silly women. Laugh at their antics, walk away, say "no". Ignore or refuse..... don't deflect...... DO NOT CARE.

It's your CARING (ie being/showing you are in a weak position) that is the problem here. If you were in a strong position, it wouldn't bother you. They can sense the difference.

Look, I've been on the receiving end of this sort of female bullshit. I know what's going on here. I've seen the difference between caring what they think and not caring. I've seen how their nature and YOUR nature interact to create these situations.

You are in the right, they are in the wrong, you're being good, they're being evil.

But so fucking what? Learn to DO WHAT WORKS, not to try and fight for some ideal that noone else will ever sign up to. Most people will much sooner exploit you for petty gains than to "play nice" or "be fair" or "be reasonable". It's much more fun to wind you up, piss you off, tease you, try and get you to do things. You're helping them create drama, and you're bolstering their position and weakening your own with every reaction of yours.

THIS IS HOW THE WORK....... behave accordingly.

[–]myke98[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I think I finslly got it. It took me s while though :)

My problem is, in part, my ego. I really enjoy biting back when someone oversteps, in part because it doesn't require much effort, and in part because I enjoy seeing them humiliated. I only do this with people who are not joking, mind u.

The other aspect is social. I grew to believe that enough social pressure can put you in a difficult spot, from a professional standpoint. The fear of not being respected at work because of social crap bothers me.

In my last job, a guy used to pick on me all the time, and although I picked on him back, he never let go until he got fired for other reasons. But in the mean time, he had managed to make me look like a clown.

These two things make it hard for me in situations like this. My fear is that ignoring it makes me look weak by becoming the guy who can be insulted and disrespected, while replying is also hard without overstepping myself in their fragile status quo...

So, my question to you is: in your experience, can you assure me that ignoring stuff like this doesn't actually make you look weak?

Let's say I have the power to pull off the most amazingly stoic poker face in situations like this. Would that suffice?

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

My problem is, in part, my ego. I really enjoy biting back when someone oversteps, in part because it doesn't require much effort, and in part because I enjoy seeing them humiliated. I only do this with people who are not joking, mind u.

The problem is that you can't do this, as you say, in the workplace.

Leaving you with all the hurt and a frustrated inability to respond.

If you dealt with this by ignoring it (which you CAN do in the workplace), you would do better.

The other aspect is social. I grew to believe that enough social pressure can put you in a difficult spot, from a professional standpoint. The fear of not being respected at work because of social crap bothers me.

This is absolutely true. And it's why you should try not to be in the situation you are now in.

In my last job, a guy used to pick on me all the time, and although I picked on him back, he never let go until he got fired for other reasons. But in the mean time, he had managed to make me look like a clown.

Oh I'm quite sure you helped him to make you look like a clown, with your need for revenge which you dare not act on...

These two things make it hard for me in situations like this. My fear is that ignoring it makes me look weak by becoming the guy who can be insulted and disrespected, while replying is also hard without overstepping myself in their fragile status quo...

Try it. Try the ignoring thing. It doesn't make you look weak and insulted, it makes you look indifferent to the slings and arrows they throw at you. And it makes THEM look bad.

So, my question to you is: in your experience, can you assure me that ignoring stuff like this doesn't actually make you look weak?

There are no assurances in life and no, I cannot assure you of anything at all. You want my opinion and I'm giving it to you as accurately as I can with as much explanation of WHY as possible. More than that is down to you.

I'll tell you one thing though: I've been where you are, and I've gone a lot further than you have with the fighting back. I've been around women and men, and seen how shit goes down. When it happens, the man/men are strangely complicit with their victimisation. Maybe they even WANT to be victims, thinking it gets them victim points or sympathy (clue: it doesn't). They join in with it, they enable it, they legitimise it by acknowledging it.

Let's say I have the power to pull off the most amazingly stoic poker face in situations like this. Would that suffice?

You don't have to do ANYTHING.

You walk in...... they say "hi mike, you look like a gigantic penis today". Ideally you glance at them, as if to acknowledge that you heard it. Ideally your expression doesn't change, but perhaps you look confused like they are retarded. Then you look back and carry on walking. Or you're asking a question, and they say "shut up and get me a coffee mike". You turn and you WALK AWAY.

Another scenario..... and I've done this. Someone makes an outrageous insult about you in a big group. Silence falls. Everyone looks at you and looks for a response. There is none. The last comment is hanging in the air, POISONING THE SPEAKER and not you. You let the discomfort continue. You look at them. YOU SAY NOTHING. You don't break the silence. If someone else says something to you, you smile at them and quietly say "just a minute" and continue the uncomfortable silence. None-expression is ideal.

[–]FRedington points points [recovered] | Copy Link

Hostile Work Environment. Open a ticket with HR.
Always be recording.

[–]yes_we_can_t5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Hostile Work Environment. Open a ticket with HR. Always be recording.

Hahahah.

HR: What's the issue?
You: The pregnant woman asked me to make her coffee.

[–]myke98[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

HR: so...?

You: I wanted to tell her to go give orders to her beta loser of a husband but I would have ended talking to HR, you know...

[–]youcantdenythat0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

why shouldn't I feel annoyed?

Because an alpha wouldn't care or give a shit about some bitches playing stupid games. It's what they do so get over it. The fact that they annoyed you and got under your skin means you still have work to do.

[–]myke98[S] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Oh, I get it, I thought he meant something else. You are totally overlooking something here: we are at work!

Me telling these women to "fuck off" (like it would have happen with women I don't work with) would have caused problems. I don't have work to do on that issue lol... not being able to respond to this stuff becuase of the work environmemt is what annoys me...

You are confusing "getting under your skin" with "impotence", which are two different issues.

[–]youcantdenythat1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Ok, let me spell it out for you, you lost F-R-A-M-E.

You are totally overlooking something here: we are at work!

I'm not overlooking it at all.

Me telling these women to "fuck off"...

This is also the wrong solution. Again, you are in their frame. Until you are out of it, everything you say makes you sound like a whiny bitch.

Have you not heard of Amused Mastery? That is the solution here and to most silly things like this.

You are confusing "getting under your skin" with "impotence", which are two different issues.

Until you get out of their frame, you might as well be impotent because you are will continue to be easily manipulated.

[–]myke98[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

What would you have done in my position?

[–]youcantdenythat0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I would have looked at her like she just told me a joke, said "ha ha", and went on my way. Any further comments would be met with A&A. "Oh sure, anything else I can do for you? Want me to go wash your car while I'm at it? Maybe I should just run up to starbucks because this coffee isn't good enough? etc.

It sounds like you also handled it fine. It's that you let it get under your skin that you need to work on. Something silly like this shouldn't phase you.

[–]DumpyLips0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You are right, this isn't the first to time they try to get me down to do stuff, and I keep shutting them down.

Then he DEFINITELY called it. The were trying to set you up to get you too prove the point they were making.

I'd be very careful in how you proceed

[–]_MysticFox1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

There's gotta be a better approach if you're trying to climb corporate. Can't just say "no" am I right?

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

You can just say "no". Absolutely. This person isn't your superior, you don't have to obey them.

But the picture is much bigger than this. This incident is the end of the story, not the start.

[–]myke98[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

You can just say "no". Absolutely. This person isn't your superior, you don't have to obey them.

And once you say "no", the gossip about how much of an uneducated, rude, unfit asshole you are starts flowing... at work...

But the picture is much bigger than this. This incident is the end of the story, not the start.

Again, this kind of makes it look like it's my fault lol. Ever considered that the placed is packed with guys who obey these harpies just because they ask them "nicely"?

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

And once you say "no", the gossip about how much of an uneducated, rude, unfit asshole you are starts flowing... at work...

That you fear this is being leveraged against you. You are acting scared and weak, and they are acting accordingly.

But the picture is much bigger than this. This incident is the end of the story, not the start.

Again, this kind of makes it look like it's my fault lol.

Do you want help here, or do you want me to say "there there there, this isn't your fault" and have nothing change?

Ever considered that the placed is packed with guys who obey these harpies just because they ask them "nicely"?

You are now locking yourself into "I am right and they are wrong and it's their fault".

Of COURSE it's fucking their fault.

Look.... if you go outside looking weak, you will get mugged. Whose fault is it? Theirs of course. Do you have to change? No. Do you want to change and avoid being mugged in future? I should hope so.

Learn what's going on, and learn how to fix this bigger picture here.

Or stay in denial, refuse to listen to the people who you asked for help, find someone else who will say "they are in the wrong it's not your fault", and have life stay EXACTLY THE SAME.

Your choice.

[–]myke98[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I kind of like the socratic method, hammering an idea from different angles is useful to me.

The thing that bothers me about this whole deal is that I do "look" weak, at the moment. I'm bulking, but it takes time. However, I do have a good enough line of defense that keeps people like this off my back, and that is biting back.

I can humilliate a post-wall bitch like this in a second, but that gets them off my back for good and pissed as shit, and that is something I can't do at work.

You are right about the rest, of course you are. I'm not stupid enough to ingore the facts or ai wouldn't be posting here.

Thnks for all the input.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

The thing that bothers me about this whole deal is that I do "look" weak, at the moment. I

This isn't the real problem. I mean yes, do lift, it helps.

The problem is that you're acting weak. When I say "look" I mean "appear", and it's 99% coming from your actions and mentality.

I can humilliate a post-wall bitch like this in a second, but that gets them off my back for good and pissed as shit, and that is something I can't do at work.

Right.

It's not that you need to fight back.... it's that you need to stop letting them get leverage. Letting them get to you. They can probably see that you're bothered by it but unable to respond.

You need to learn to laugh it off and not care and ignore them. Your reaction it what they crave - makes them feel important. If you just look away and carry on about your day as if nothing happened, it is THEM that look weak and ineffectual. They failed to wind you up. They had zero impact.

You don't do anything bad to them, you otherwise engage them normally...... but any shit that starts you just look at them, don't respond, carry on as before.

[–]1walawalawa1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is a great breakdown and excellent post.

I would only add one thing. I work in an office full of women.

At meetings they talk over each other, gossip about other staff etc.

One in particular does things in a similar vein to your situation---not coffee but hoarding resources etc.

I was furious. But I didn't react. I captured what she said and forwarded it to the director with a note about needing to have better cooperation and not hoarding resources.

If I personalize it...and make it about "disrespect" I lose.

If I elevate it to something more about teamwork---then the behavior gets addressed.

it's a slog, but don't be stupid.

In your situation instead of responding you could have just ignored and walked away. By engaging, of course they're going to get in your face. It's what they do.

And no, no one is going to care it was "disrespectful".

Smiling and walking away is the best way to handle these idiots.

With all this feminist nonsense and "equality" in place, workplaces have become hostile towards men. Don't take the bait.

Yes, I know...it's hard. But these things are quickly forgotten if you ignore them. They become "issues" once you confront them.

Chose wisely.

[–]R_tothe_P14 points15 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Correct Answer:

Sure, right after you go make me a sandwich.

[–]myke98[S] 9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Fuck, this was the right answer. Dammit I didn't think of that.

[–]McDrMuffinMan5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

No, that only raises tension and seeing how Women gossip just wait until they start spewing trash about how misogynist you are

[–]el_Technico6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Can't say that in the office, because it can be construed as sexual harassment.

[–]mrust1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Exactly. This will be so easily taken out of context and then you are on the backfoot explaining yourself. Pretty funny, wouldn't use it at work though.

[–]Gawernator2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Perfect retort.

[–]Dustin_Bromain4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I love what shit-quality women think about themselves these days. "I'm average to below-average looks, I'm married, pregnant or have one kid, but I still absolutely love being a shitbox woman and pushing betas around for fun." Disgusting. It's like a dumpster assuming authority over a Rolls Royce.

[–]LordThunderbolt7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

You're not inn the wrong. Nothing obligated you to make her coffee. They will try to shame you into being their beta. Don't fall for it. Have u thought about getting a job elsewhere?

[–]Lego_My_Alter_Eggo3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

>Have u thought about getting a job elsewhere?

changing your job over some random women's opinions?

lmfao that would be the ultimate beta thing to do

[–]LordThunderbolt-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You're retarded. We all know and agree that working a job with a bunch of women is a recipe for disaster. If you can move to another company where it's mostly dudes getting shit done, you won't be dealing with this shit.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Pregnant and drinking coffee? I thought that was a no no anyway

[–]Gawernator6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

She waited until mid 30's to have a kid, whatever defects are gonna happen probably already have

[–][deleted] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

"Sure, I just need a minute..." and go on about your day. If they ask where is the coffee, you say, "what coffee?"

Keeps them in a perpetual state of anxiety ("will he do it?") and gives plenty of plausable deniability for HR shenanigans ("I just forgot, is forgetting against company regulations now?").

[–]hiro902 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Any women ask me to do anything for me at work I say no. Usually something along the lines of I ain't your husband/boyfriend. The last pregnant I lucrative telling her every time about how that baby isn't mine and to get the daddy to wait on her.

[–]innerpeice1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I call these f3s. Female, fat and forty. They are missing the times in which they can manipulate others based on their looks and they're finally come to the realization that they can no longer do this so they get upset , and test the boundaries of what they can get away with. Fuck them they are usually poison to an organization . BUT BEWARE They will tag team you and get you fired if they think your a dick.

[–]7Fig1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You have to see that you are in a terrible situation. If you are surrounded by 5 women as co workers and no males to speak of something has gone terribly wrong. You're probably younger than all of them and they will treat you like one of their children constantly.

You did the right thing by not getting the coffee, however I don't see how this stops. You're in the wrong industry... or Company.

[–]beginner_0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah this should also be higher up. Why are their only women in your office? Time to update CV and move the fuck on. There is no way this will end well even if you become the ultra 0.1% Alpha.

[–]Mattpilf1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

"Sorry I'm busy, but if you need help getting up I can assist you."

You offered help if she needs it, refused help that she didn't need.

[–]exit_sandman1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Hmm.

There is no real indicator that all the women are in on that little scheme, but this was definitely intentional - I mean, there obviously were enough people who could have made her that coffee but (1) intentionally waited for you to enter the room to boss you around; and (3) twisted this around to make you look bad - though this might as well have been a reaction to you trying to delegate that task to (2) who hasn't done anything to warrant that as far as I see it.

But still, it was a shitty move and you should simply have ignored her instead of trying to beat them at their own stupid game.

[–]myke98[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

When the pregnant chick opened her mouth, I knew she was toying with me. She didn't seem mean, but when I refused, the other one jumped on me and she did do it to make me look bad, for sure.

I hink the pregnant chick did it to make me look slightly bad, but the other one took advantage of it. The one who actually made the coffee is so ugly I don't give a crap lol.

One wuestion about ignoring her: wouldn't it look "autistic" to just stand there, in silence, while they look at me? I'm imagining that after a few seconds, I would have got hammered anyway for not doing it, see my point?

[–]DadOnDabs3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Anything under hb6 doesn't exist to me. There opinions don't matter.

[–]trprdtor1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

So if she was hot you wouldn't mind being her servant? That's the definition of pedestalizing and betaness.

[–]DadOnDabs5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I wouldn't be an hb10's servant. I was saying anything under a 6 is literally not worth my time to speak to or acknowledge. It wouldn't even be worth my time to write a field report on it.

[–]TDCRedPill4 points5 points  (29 children) | Copy Link

You're obviously low SMV. They aren't the problem, you walking through life with a 'Kick Me' sign on your back is.

[–]TRP VanguardArchwinger10 points11 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

I'm surprised this comment is lower in this thread than it is.

This woman didn't ask the OP for coffee in front of the other women to test whether he was worth a shit. She asked him because she knew he wasn't worth a shit. As did all of the other women.

Whatever he has or hasn't done up to this point has already failed whatever tests he faced and/or demonstrated his low value.

These women are old, ugly, most of them married, some with kids. They're not looking to see if OP is worth cheating with. They're not testing him for value. They're just having a little fun with the low-value chump at work, who they already know is low value with no need for further testing.

He shouldn't have treated them as shit testing women. He should have treated them as playground bullies. Because that's a more accurate representation of this situation. A gang of friends was making fun of the low-value loser.

They weren't annoyed because this man was passing their tests and proving them wrong by not being a loser. They were annoyed because this man that they already know is a loser was ruining their fun by being an uppity little bitch.

[–]Lapidarist points points [recovered] | Copy Link

So how should one react in a situation like this then?

[–]TDCRedPill0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Depends on your goals and how you'd like things to go. Best thing would be to not have to be digging yourself out from the hole this deep but that's life.

He's not gaming any of 'em sexually, so it's a just social and work dominance hierarchy. And, frankly, half manlet losers are below the least of women on both. So, he has to be a valued member of both hierachies (nothing large or confrontational) without being over them. He has to be one of them, and one of the good ones.

'Quintin! Would you make me a coffee, please?' 'OMG Kelly, look at you, you look amazing! Jessica, Karen, Kimber, good to see you too. How have you been, has that little bugger keeping you up all night?' 'Well, thank you, but really I was hoping for a cofee.' 'SInce you're not here, I am slammed with work right now and can't really sit around, but if you're still here at lunch time, I'll make you my best and you can tell me all about what it's like to make a human and I can tell you how we all will breathe easier when you're back. How about that?'

There is no sort of smart ass, dick slapping comment to make everyone come around to his awesome. He has to win friends and and demonstrate value. Since he's around people who think low of him, he has to do so consistently for a long time before he'd be accepted for more than he is now.

[–]myke98[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I'm surprised this comment is lower in this thread than it is.

Because it's a stupid comment.

This woman didn't ask the OP for coffee in front of the other women to test whether he was worth a shit. She asked him because she knew he wasn't worth a shit. As did all of the other women.

Exactly. By 35-45yo women, post-wall, and with husbands and coworkers they can boss around all the time, yeah, I can really sense why they don't like it when you say "no" to them....

He shouldn't have treated them as shit testing women. He should have treated them as playground bullies. Because that's a more accurate representation of this situation. A gang of friends was making fun of the low-value loser.

"fuck off, bitch". Really good strategy at work...

They weren't annoyed because this man was passing their tests and proving them wrong by not being a loser. They were annoyed because this man that they already know is a loser was ruining their fun by being an uppity little bitch.

Yeah, just like the other poster, using words like "uppity little bitch" doesn't make you right lol. How do you know this? do you work in the same company? do you know me? do you know these women? exactly...

Besides, little bit of advice: just because someone tries to treat you like shit doesn't mean you have low SMV lol. Otherwise nobody would give trump any kind of shit, right? or maybe my low SMV boss would have to deal with more shit to his face if he wasn't the boss lol, instead of having them gossiping behind his back. SMV doesn't make it black and white....

[–]TRP VanguardArchwinger2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

The fact that you're spewing four paragraphs of word salad responsive to an implication, on the internet, that you're a low value man is... exactly something a low value man would do.

Are you telling me what you wish those mean ladies at work would understand? What you wish you could tell them?

[–]myke98[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm just pointing the amount of crap you wrote about absolute truths lol. And yes, I can do whatever I want with my keyboard. Sorry man.

[–]wild_deer_man9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Harsh but I have to agree with it. The women's attitude was horrible, why the fuck do they feel entitled to you making them coffee, and then insulting you when you refuse?

But I have a feeling you are not telling the part of the story of how did you get into that dynamic with them in the first place.

I would suggest you ignore them completely and communicate the bare minimum required to get your job done.

[–]TDCRedPill3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

why the fuck do they feel entitled to you making them coffee

It's not an 'entitlement'. She wanted coffee. She didn't want to make it. She didn't want the women she was talking to to make it because they're filling up her attention tank. In walks Quintin in his short sleeve dress shirt, uncaring hair, and the skin on the back of your neck rising, because people feel on eggshells around him. He might want to talk. Ugh. He may want be friends and noone's got time for having to train the loser. But, I'm pregnant, it's fucking coffee, he's up, and maybe he can be useful and take the opportunity to be good and kind in front of women. That'd be cool, he's the best for the job, and I get a coffee. Hell, the guy NEEDS someone to toss his a social bone once in a while. Perfect.

She asks. He stammers while trying to figure out how to politely say 'It's cute you think I'm your bitch, but that ain't how it be.' which comes out as autistic twitching and just general unease for an audience of five. OH god. This is why we don't engage him.

Lenghty, painful awkward situation for everyone until Karen gets up to make the coffee just so no more words come out of Quintin's mouth.

[–]myke98[S] 0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

You are an idiot. If every time someone gives you shit is your fault, then good luck with your life.

you walking through life with a 'Kick Me' sign on your back is.

Oh, provocative, are we now? Are you sure you are not the one going around with that sign on your back? lol... And you wonder why you had so many votes...

[–]TDCRedPill0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

If every time someone gives you shit is your fault, then good luck with your life.

Nothing with spark a fire of revulsion in the human animal more than a weak man. If he doesn't change, that behavior that he's seen his entire life will continue. If he does change, it might. This situation wasn't a random happening; they should already know who he is. He lost before any of the events in the story.

Go ahead, give 'em a pep talk. Give 'em the platitudes. Tell him they're just jealous of him. It's because he's smart, they must be weak women who can't handle his smarts. He's just too good looking. These are just four dead average women and not worth his concern.

Comfort him, so he stays exactly in the self powered hell he finds himself in. Or be a friend, and tell him the blatant truth he just doesn't seem to understand.

I'm a dick. I'm an asshole. I'm okay with that. But I'd only be an idiot if I was wrong. This is not one of those times.

[–]myke98[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Lol, you are moron, turn off the video games, go get a job and show 'em who's the man tiger! ROFL

[–]aaguilar2 points points [recovered] | Copy Link

Exactly. Someone else's shitty behavior isn't the problem. You walking in and being treated like this unprovoked in this problem.

You probably don't have a masculine facial structure or jaw line and are most likely ugly. No amount of gymcelling will help your situation buddy, women are brutal towards looks and judge an entire man's personality around it.

[–]TDCRedPill3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If your first step to a problem is 'change yourself', you have a chance and might have a clue. If your first step is 'change other people', you have no chance and definitely don't have a clue about whatever the problem might be.

You're being snarky because it's unfair. Deal with it. It is unfair. The only solution is Git Gud.

[–]Bigblackbuck731 point2 points  (14 children) | Copy Link

I won't go for your jugular and say you are ugly, but bare minimum, you must either way be 118lbs or 318lbs. Clearly you have no command presence and they think nothing of you.

Read, learn, lift. Commit to the program that is your self improvement.

[–]myke98[S] -2 points-1 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

I'm 137lbs, muscular (since I started bulking 7 months ago) and good looking. I don't know about the jaw line, but I'm short: 1.67m (5'7 in your metric system, I think).

Read, learn, bla bla bla, already on that path since last year. Command precense? I was just listening to their conversation before starting the day.

[–]Endorsed Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil14 points15 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

I'm 135 pounds muscular?

Hahahahahhahha

Jesus Christ bro. Not only do the bitch boys here not lift but their delusional about it.

[–]myke98[S] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Hey, come on man, feelings here :p I started lifting at 114lbs 6/7 months ago, I'm going as fast as I can

[–]Endorsed Contributor: "The Court Jester"GayLubeOil11 points12 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I'm not making fun of you for being the little engine that could I'm making fun of you for describing yourself as muscular at 135 pounds.

Also most men lift for about 2 years continuously

[–]myke98[S] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

trying to get there man, trying to get there

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

GLO is just spitting tough love. Keep grinding at the gym. In a year or two you can be up to 165 lean.

[–]wild_deer_man0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I have a friend who is 65kg, about 7%bf and muscular as fuck. He gets laid a lot.

[–]wild_deer_man7 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I was just listening to their conversation before starting the day.

WHY?

[–]myke98[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Socializing? Lol

[–]DiggerClam0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

137lbs? My dumbbells are more muscular than you.

[–]Bigblackbuck73-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Bulking for 7 months and you weigh 137lbs? What? You need to switch to 5x5 and eat way more than you are. Better yet, look up occam's protocol. Follow that shit for a few months and I guarantee they will treat you differently.

[–]myke98[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

From 114lbs, any faster and I'll get way fatter than necessary. I even had to slow down eating as I was gaining 2 lbs per week for the last three weeks...

[–]Bigblackbuck730 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Then maybe you need /leangains.

[–]AlexanderVelinxs0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

If it was me; id laugh, look at her legs and ask what was wrong with them.

[–]myke98[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, well, I kind of said that to her later on the day lol. He didn't take it well, but I enjoyed it

[–]AcidMal0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This. This my friends is the female equivalent of a covert contract, "nice guy" getting rejected. Just note how they don't get butt hurt and crumble. But, they still instinctively grill you harder and team up on you. The sociopathic gender at its best here. They don't even view you as an equal human being, and expect you to grovel and submit because of the way they perceive you. They truly think they control the narrative with you and are angry when you break this environment they set up. The awful truth is that you must behave this way, the only way they understand reality, in order to secure any respect from them. That is precisely why they do this. If it were not for the way they understand dynamics, they would not constantly challenge the power balance of relationships. Just understand that you are better at this game then they are, and that is ultimately what they want to see.

[–]1Pink1Stink0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Just smirk and walk away.

Sounds to me like they don't respect you.

[–]TravelingShitLord0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Hold her gaze with one eye brow up for about 3-5 secs. Then wink and walk away. If she says anything as you continue on with your business, just chuckle and keep going. Do not stop and engage.

How do you know if you're on the losing end of a arguement with a woman? That fact that you're doing it.

[–]beginner_0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Like you don't play chess with a pigeon. The pigeon in the end will always knock over all the pieces and shit on the board.

[–]RedPillApprentice990 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sounds like a bunch of post wall bitches. You handled it well, do not cave in, you owe these people nothing.

[–]username_1_1_10 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Keep your sense of humour instead of getting mad about it. It's all a shit test to see how you handle things and what they can get away with. Think of them as a bunch of bratty 6 yr olds and treat them as such. She knows she's being ridiculous.

[–]youcantstopmyzed0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

How old are you?

[–]2johnnight0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Treat me like a beta sucker and if I refuse, you even get pissed?

This is not a pickup environment, you don't have to defend your alpha brand here. Refusing is OK. It's best to say less or nothing at all, or wait with the answer until you are sure that you will not say a thing that will get you fired.

I noticed that in the office environment women tend to attack verbally in a way that will piss you off, but that it's not easy to complain about to the HR dept. You need to be really, really careful, because they will attack you, as they did, through insinuations, belittlement, etc. which can cause you to respond with angry slurs, and THAT is a case for the HR dept. Whatever you do, don't let your amygdala lead you to a physical or verbal fight with the office cat ladies. The office is a place to get your money and to get out of it to the real life.

E.g. in your case, the text of her speech was a simple request, but the tone of voice and the smirk was mocking, and those things are up to interpretation and can be plausibly denied. If you complained to the HR, she would defend herself by saying "I was just politely asking, that's all".

What do you do in these situations?

Here's how to stop people from asking you to do work for them for free: NAME YOUR PRICE, MAKE THEM PAY FOR IT. E.g. "Sure, it will cost you $10". "What will I get in return?" - this one really stops people, because now they got an open-ended question and have to process a lot of variables to find an answer (what can they offer, what will satisfy you, etc.). So you avoid denying the request, but you can set the price to be as unattractive as you want. Maybe they want it badly enough, so that it turns out to be a good deal for you.

p.s. Never ever at my job did anybody ask me to make them coffee.

[–]INTJokes0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's time to quote Airplane!

"Joey, how about some coffee."

"No thanks!"

That's all you have to say.

[–]Kwantuum0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

The fact this even remotely surprises or confuses you just shows you have no firm grasp on the tenets of red pill. Do not give a fuck, plain and simple.

[–]EnduroRacer-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Mad it ain't your baby bruh

[–]Apexk9-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

"no I don't think caffeine is healthy for a child, I'm not gonna tell you how to love but I'll have no part in your choices"

or after the first deflection when when women attacked you.

"I see you have lots of energy to run your mouth vs running your legs to get your friend here a coffee"

[–]wheresMYsteakAt-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Next time don't lurk around when they are talking. You can't hang with the big girl if you aren't a big girl. I know it sucks they weren't men,. You can't snitch them out which has been a good strategy for a few guys here that have been upset high SMV guys are working with them stealing all the attention away.

Maybe just accept this is your role? I take mine with a lot of cream BTW, no sugar but I also like heavy cream so you'll need to get it from Dunkin. Medium coffee 8 creams and don't lollygag, it better be hot when I get it.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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