Turned into a beta while dating a HB10, inevitable breakup ensued, used Red Pill ideologies to get my shit together. Story covers the span of 2.5 years. Part 1- HB10 & Red Flags. Part 2- how I got my shit together post-breakup. Part 3 -epilogue.
TL/DR: Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks, Lick on these nuts and suck the dick, Gets the fuck out after you're done, And I hops in my ride to make a quick run. Dr. Dre
During my third year of university I was on top of my game, Me (6’2”, 225 pounds), academically on pace to get into law school, bartending at the college bar, in peak physical condition (lifted 5x/week + martial arts), big friend group and juggling 3 regular plates. Life was fantastic.
On my off night, roommates and I went out for some drinks and hilarity. We ended up at the college bar and immediately let the liquor do the thinkin’. While waiting for our round of drinks, my eyes were locked across the bar onR, a 19-year-old, HB10, brunette bombshell, who just radiated sex appeal. I approached her, told her earrings didn’t match her outfit, she wasn’t wearing earrings. She was hooked. We exchanged numbers and agreed to meet up in a few days.
A few days later, we grabbed drinks, engaged in great conversation and the attraction levels were off the charts. When our night ended, R slept over, but we did not have sex. She told me that she didn’t do hookups, I ate it up. Within a few weeks, I cleared out the roster and started exclusively dating R.
I introduced her to my friend group, she drank for free whenever I was bartending, she partook in some pretty awesome weekend benders and the sex was crazy. However, my buddies told me R was a pump and dump, by pointing out some huge red flags. I wanted to be Captain Save-A-Ho and didn’t listen.
- Red Flag (1) R was a self-confessed social (attention) whore. She loved to be the center of attention and knew how to use her looks to have everyone’s eyes on her. Initially, it was a huge ego stroke for me when everyone’s eyes were on her, but R’s behaviour usually rubbed my friends the wrong way and/or attracted unwanted attention from thirsty dudes.
- Red Flag (2): I did my scouting report on her and found out she had a promiscuous past. I rationalized her past behaviour as not being an indication of who she was now. With my previous escapades, I felt I couldn’t judge.
- Red Flag (3): R had lots of male orbiters, with only one female friend, W (whore). W was HB7, R’s bff since day one of university, had a kill count which rivaled Wilt Chamberlain’s and was damn proud of it too. R told me that all the slutty things she had done in her past was in conjunction with W, or done with W’s influence.
- Red Flag (4) R loved playing the victim card. In every situation or story told, she was always ended up as the victim.
- Red Flag (5): R told me that a few months prior to meeting me, she was sexually assaulted after a night at the bar. Initially, I didn’t know how to handle the situation other than being supportive and understanding. R was very nonchalant about the whole ordeal, told me not to stress it because she was 10/10 white girl wasted at the time and the police were dealing with it.
Despite the Red Flags and warnings from my friends, R and I were in a LTR throughout the rest of the year and dated into the summer. We made lots of great memories, had a great sex life and enjoyed talking about building a life together post-university. As the fall semester quickly approached, R told me her roommate situation fell through and she was left without a place to stay. She asked me if I would consider moving in together. I told her that my plan was to room with my training partner A (6’7”, 250-pound, pre-med Chad) in a bomb-ass, 2-bedroom apartment for my last year. She suggested that this living arrangement could allow us save on rent and to use the time together to judge our compatibility towards life post-university. I talked to A, he wasn’t thrilled, but was cool with it.
Upon moving in, got the feeling A wanted to get with R. He would low-key shit talk me, would push to hangout with R without me around, in addition to habitually attempting to one-up me in front of R (If I got 80 on a paper, he had an 81). After a few tense months, A and I eventually got into a fist fight. Post-scrum, A and I aired out grievances, A admitted he had a crush on R, apologized for his behaviour and agreed to move out at the end of the semester.
Enter our neighbour K. K was a HB8, super cool chick, did not like R at all. K and R became “friends”, so they would hangout, shoot the shit and act like BFF’s, all while secretly hating each other. Female friendships are about as fucked as they come. A few weeks after the brawl, K and I were hanging out on my balcony, shooting the shit and having a few beers. K told me that while drunk one night, R brought up the story of her being the victim of a sexual assault, K felt that R’s story didn’t add up. K told me that she thought R was an attention whore and pulled the victim card to gather sympathy, in lieu of admitting to her drunken shenanigans. I never asked R about the details surrounding the assault and thought K was trying to stir the shit pot.
K told me:
“R had gone out on the Friday night with her friends, got white girl wasted, messaged her FWB. She asked to come over and “watch a movie”, FWB agreed, so R went over to his house, initiated sexual contact, slept with him and spent the night. R walked home in the morning and went about her day. Saturday night, R went out again with her friends, got Jim Lahey drunk, called her FWB at 2 am wanting to come over to ‘watch a movie’ again. R walked over to her FWB’s house, initiated sexual contact, slept with him multiple times and again spent the night. When FWB asked her to leave, R then went to the police station the following afternoon and reported the lad for two counts of sexual assault.”
I was shocked at what K told me, but I thought that maybe she was being a shit disturber. I left shortly after and went home. When R came home that night, I told her what K told me. She confirmed K’s version of what happened, with this follow-up conversation.
- Me: “Well I don’t get it. Why did you go over at 2 am again on the Saturday? If he assaulted you the night prior, why the fuck would you go back?”
- R: “I wanted a place to sleep, and I didn’t feel like walking home after the bar. He told me we would watch a movie, so I didn’t see the harm.”
- Me: “R…if he assaulted you, then why the fuck would you go back again the second night?”
- R: “I was drunk and he took advantage of me, plus his family has the money so who cares.”
- Me: “what the fuck are you talking about?”
- R: “Well instead of him getting a record, or going to jail, the crown told me that he can just pay me restitution instead.”
I was fucking mind blown. Despite my best attempts to explain the stupidity in her logic, R remained firm that her FWB assaulted her. A few weeks later the case was settled outside of court. R received a cheque for $5,000 as restitution payment, the accused had a peace bond issued against him, in lieu of not having to register as a sex offender.
A few weeks after the shenanigans subsided, I was struggling to deal with some of my own issues on the home-front and was having a hard time looking at R the same way. I was at a weak point, became less social and leaned on R for emotional support. R immediately grew distant and began to hangout more with W. As W and R spent more time together, they began drinking 5 nights a week and our sex life dried up. Eventually, R told me she was moving out because she wanted to be single and have fun with W.
The next few weeks were rough, R moved out and I was a disaster. We talked for weeks post-breakup, in the redundant cycle of talking for 3 or 4 days through texts and phone calls, hook up, she’d cut contact for a few days, then repeat. It was killing me on the inside. I attempted to draw the line after we hooked up one night and told R that I couldn’t deal with the situation anymore. I told her that I needed to know what the hell was going on between us. She laughed, said we were never getting back together and that her and A were hooking up. I was crushed, but I calmly told her to get out of my apartment and immediately cut contact.
The ensuing break up broke me, mentally, physically, financially and socially. Mentally it served as a catalyst for me missing class and failing my finals. Physically, I was skipping workouts and was not motivated to hit the weights. Financially, I lost my bar job and was stuck with the full lease for the 2-bedroom apartment. I was so miserable I started to drink more frequently behind the bar and was subsequently fired. Socially, my friends began distancing themselves from me because all I wanted to do was drink and talk about R. I was at a pretty low place.
The following few months consisted of self-loathing, the carousel of Tinderellas and nightly binge drinking. I woke up the one morning and looked in the mirror, I was disgusted with that I saw. I was hungover, rocking a near dad-bod, broke and some HB5 in my bed. I hit the wall. I knew I had to get my shit back on track, I wasn’t going to live like this anymore. I googled psychotherapist in my city and came across one that was highly recommended, M. I called her immediately and set up an appointment for the following day.
M was a 60-year-old, die hard bible thumper, divorcee and didn’t put up with any bullshit. I told M about everything that transpired with R and told her I didn’t know how to deal with it. She told me straight up, focus on self-improvement. M told me that I missed major red flags with R and that I shouldn’t have been surprised with how everything went down. M challenged me to grow as a person by; constructively dealing with my problems, accept that break ups are apart of life and R’s pussy wasn’t made of gold. After a few months of therapy, positive thinking, I managed to get a new job, re-introduced myself to the gym and started hanging out with my buddies again. I felt like I had my head back on straight.
I hit a bit of a setback when I found out that due to my poor academic performance, I was forced to do a 5th year of University. I was pissed at myself for getting into that mess, but I took the advice of M and used my extended time in school as an opportunity to grow as a person. Fast forward to September, R was now the head of the student government and in a LTR with A. Everyone on campus knew her and she blacklisted my ass with anyone who would listen to her bullshit. My close friends had all graduated by this point, so I went through my last year just trying to grind it out. I went into monk mode for the first semester, slowly becoming more social, more involved within the university community as the year went on and my confidence grew.
What M did, was unknowingly expose me to Red Pill ideologies. I became obsessed with self improvement and focused all my energy on becoming the best version of myself.
- I started practicing mindfulness (positive thinking), as I listened to positive affirmations every night while sleeping.
- I started to take school a hell of a lot more seriously, resulting in higher grades, connecting with professors and crushing the LSAT.
- I wanted to explore my entrepreneurial side, so I started a lucrative start-up venture.
- I wanted to get into my peak physical shape, so I began to lift 5 days a week and became a vegetarian.
- I wanted to make sure my past bullshit wouldn’t affect my future, so I managed to get my shit grades off my academic record.
- I exposed myself to school clubs and social groups I never would have joined prior, in addition to getting involved with the school. I ended up having a blast, made some awesome friends and met a shit load of plates.
- I wanted to give back to the community, so I volunteered at an at-risk school, made some amazing connections and got some killer letters of reference.
Although the year was a grind and a half, I grew as a person utilizing Red Pill ideologies. I became a best version of myself. By the time I graduated, I had enough volunteer, business and life experience to where I had multiple job offers. The connections I made with my professors and through my volunteer experience helped me earn multiple offers of admission for law school. The problems I have now, are great problems, with the people I associate with being genuine, positive people.
By getting my shit together academically, I earned a spot on my program’s academic team. Each year, universities from around the providence send their top students to compete against each other in this weekend long conference, which turns into a drunken orgy by the Saturday night. Although there were many hilarious stories which came from that weekend, the epilogue concerns my teammate, B.
B’s a well-liked Chad on the team and the current roommate of A. Although I never had an issue with B professionally or personally, he and I did not associate outside of our mandatory team meetings. At the Saturday night binge drinking event, B told me that he wanted to smoke a joint with me outside and have a chat. Once outside, B said that when he first met me, he was indifferent with me because A ran his mouth off about what happened with R. I was annoyed, but didn’t expect anything less from A. I told B that I didn’t want to talk about A or R, I was here to enjoy my weekend and attempted to go back inside to the conference. B physically stopped me before I could open the door, started laughing and said, “Bro you ever hear the saying, karma is a bitch?”. I was confused and asked B wtf he was talking about. B told me that A dropped out of school due to his failing grades and R has been cheating on him with multiple dudes since he dropped out, including himself. I initially called bullshit, but he pulled his phone out and showed me the texts…and the pictures. We shared some laughs, got high as all hell and all I could think was “that’s just the fuckin’ way she goes.