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Building Power

Stay Busy


submitted by Desadarius | Blog View | Download Post: Download PDF Download TXT

"Why is life so boring?"

This single question dominated my head for a year, and that was the worst year of my life. You know why?

Because I was sitting around on my fucking ass doing nothing, waiting for some miracle, instead of chasing what I wanted. I was relying on others for action, instead of finding that action myself. It took me a fucking year to realize that this was what was fueling my depressed lethargy.

Now, every morning I prepare a schedule consisting of exactly what I need to get done. I find if I don't do this, my day is complete shit.

Listen, I don't give a fuck what it is. Do what you want. But if it's something that needs to get done, GET. IT. DONE. Don't just think:

"Oh, I gotta wait till x happens before I can possibly do x."

Fuck that. You know why? Because if you get into this habit, you're gonna keep making up excuses for why you aren't actively pursuing your goals. If you want something, and you aren't actively pursuing it, you don't really want it.

Stay busy. When you're left to your own thoughts, you will always lose. Get shit done. Pursue your interests.

[–]canadianbacon22202 points203 points  (10 children) | Copy

You want to know what's the saddest feeling in the world is? It's that feeling of hearing that clock tick.

Tick. Tick. Tick.

Not because a clock ticks, but because that is the only thing your mind is occupied with.

[–]menial_optimist12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lol, I remember my grandma being just like that. As a small kid I'd be over at her house and all I remember is her sitting at the table smoking non-stop in complete silence while the clock ticked and tocked. Whenever I feel a lack of discipline I use the fear of ending up a soulless vegetable listening to a clock 10 hours a day to get my ass in gear.

[–]LOST_TALE9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

I guess you can meditate with that.

[–]Boxheadno126 points27 points  (0 children) | Copy

Man, that's exactly what I thought about these last days.

The last 2 years my life has been an upward spiral. What I have learned is that I am grinding the most when shit hits the fan. When bad shit happens and you choose to take responsibility for your life, you have to do everything it takes. Although these times seem pretty daunting at first, they always produce the most happiness in my life.

When I experience times in which there aren't any obstacles, I begin to get complacent, which in turn makes me unhappy.

I have come to the conclusion that you have to stay busy to live a happy and fulfilled life. The foundation to this is a healthy dose of obsession. To be obsessed with your goals and dreams will make them seem more like a necessity in your mind. Obsession with your goals makes it easy to stay busy.

[–]sirfuckboysupreme59 points60 points  (4 children) | Copy

This! I also want to add that having things to look forward to gives a sense of purpose in your life. I always try have something i look forward to, be it friends, a holiday, a new netflix series, the gym or my weekly sports lessons. Even work!

Also take the good and the bad. No one likes doing washing or laundry, but by doing things you dont enjoy, you have something to compare to and to signpost your enjoyment by.

I find the problem with this stay busy mentality though is when you do really have nothing to do... you get down and bored and like life is passing you by. I've yet to find a solution to that one.

[–]Desadarius[S] 19 points20 points  (2 children) | Copy

So you're saying that you have already accomplished everything you want? Man, I'm jealous.

If there is ANYTHING you want in this world, there are always steps you can take to pursue it. This is what I do whenever I find myself in that "nothing to do" mentality.

Yeah, at first it might be hard to get off your ass and actually begin pursuing those dreams, but once you get the ball rolling it's easier.

[–]Enlightened_Chimp6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

This requires self discipline, which is a skill like any other that needs to be developed. It may be the most important skill anyone can develop. When you maximize your self discipline you can accomplish anything.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

is when you do really have nothing to do

I find in these moments, I do things that I want to do or things that I haven't had the time do to otherwise like catching up on a book, a netflix show or my running routine.

[–]NeoreactionSafe18 points19 points  (8 children) | Copy


  • Question : What keeps you busy?


  • Answer : Business.


[–]Arabian_Wolf2 points3 points  (7 children) | Copy

I want to start a business but I am severely short on money while unemployed, being late 20s with not much experience and skill is a disadvantage.

[–]NeoreactionSafe7 points8 points  (3 children) | Copy

Let others keep you "busy" first as you save up some money.

Then when you have money you can afford to risk starting your own "busy ness".

Your "busy" must make "bucks" or it's just wasted.


[–]theredpill222 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

What's with your obsession with quotation marks?

[–]NeoreactionSafe2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy


Just used to highlight.

I use bold and really bold too.

That and carriage returns.


[–]TruthInArt3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

If the content is good, the delivery matters not.

[–]j-mac-rock2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

not too late to start. find out somehting you like, get out there, get a loan and go for it

[–]Arabian_Wolf-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Gotta get employed before getting a loan but yeah that's the plan, yesterday chatted with a relative in nearby cafe about business and being partners, he accepted but we're gonna take our time.

Banks here don't give loans to unemployed fucks like me.

[–]LibertyIsNotFree1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

There's always money out there cleaning and fixing stuff that matters to you.

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

When I think about it, the happiest year of my life was also the most challenging and tough. Everyday was like a mental war. But at the end of it I had accomplished so much. It makes sense.

[–]1jb_trp8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

No one is coming to rescue you. You're not going to win the lottery, you're not going to find a magic lamp with a genie, you don't have a rich uncle who will change your life. You have one chance at life, one chance each day to make it better and do the things you want to do with your life, so don't waste it.

If you're a "do nothing type bitch," I'd suggest start small. If you're life is a mess, don't expect to be able to start a successful business or be a bodybuilder or whatever in a day.

I love what Jordan Peterson says about "cleaning your room.". It's perfect advice. You start with the small things, the tasks that you know you ought to do but are putting them off: Cleaning your room, doing the dishes, paying a bill you've been putting off, fixing your car, changing your diet, etc. Then, you have a little more "light," a little more competancy to tackle the bigger things and be even more of a force for change in your life.

I am a recovering alcoholic. I've known this for almost a year. I would drink almost every, and binge drink on nights I had nothing else going on (anywhere from 12-15 beers). I was at least 30 lbs overweight, unhappy, going nowhere, and life felt meaningless. I was flunking out of life and almost lost my job. In my darkest moments, I wouldn't say I was suicidal, but I had thoughts: Why am I still living? What's the point if I'm stuck in this cycle and living a nightmare? Why not end it all?

Then I had a moment of clarity. I decided to "clean my room." It took me some time, but I've been sober for almost a month. I've changed my diet. I started lifting again. I did clean my room. Right now I'm down 14 lbs in less than a month. I fixed my car. I've started to pay my bills. And each day, I have a little more clarity, a little more light and a better path for a future. And I'm finally becoming happy.

Stay busy!

[–]goneofp2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Ya know what? Clean your room is perfect advice. I watched that video. Peterson is right. There are so many things in my personal life that I could do, problems that I could fix, but I don't.

This kind of laziness really is unacceptable.

[–][deleted] 15 points16 points  (2 children) | Copy

It's not about women. It's so not about women.

But my God, they love "fixer uppers" and the degree to which being a good fixer upper makes you a pliable beta, I'll leave to the reader to decide.

Fill your time doing manly shit. Much better.

[–]AnotherGypsy4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

A fixer upper is a alpha fucks. This guy is trying to be the whole package, a real winner. Don't tell him to settle

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Don't tell him to settle

I wouldn't.

I think fixer uppers are in both camps.

[–]Endorsed Contributormallardcove5 points6 points  (7 children) | Copy

This is why I still work 2 jobs even though I make more than enough money to live comfortably.

[–]TheSlicemanCometh5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

Yup. 2 jobs will MAKE you "stay busy". Same here. Sitting around on my ass on weekends I felt like a total loser, like "wtf I could be out making more money right now."

[–]Endorsed Contributormallardcove5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly what happened to me. I moved to a new city with a much higher salary and lower cost of living, so it was like getting 2 raises in 1. First couple of weeks I was here on the weekends I found myself doing nothing productive. Walked into restaurants the next Monday and got myself a part time job for the weekends.

[–]Heisenberg23082 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Can I ask what you do? I'm looking for a second job, part time since my main is about 45 hrs/week

[–]Endorsed Contributormallardcove4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Wait tables at a restaurant. Helps you meet people, helps you develop people skills, helps you learn how to hold your frame, helps you talk to people. Already gotten a few phone numbers. However don't use it to hit on women. That's generally against the rules for your job. So you have to play your cards right and hope the girl leaves her phone number or create a situation to where getting her number won't have her complaining to management.

[–]ohakooz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah i agree with both points. Also, some of the coolest people i've ever met/worked with were from restaurants

[–]Shakydrummer5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Totally man. Super important to make something of yourself. My mentality is if I've only gone to my day job and not taken solid steps towards what I want to be in my life then I've wasted that day. People wonder how I get the energy to do it all...and it's not being energetic so much as it is a solid, unwavering work ethic to get it fucking done and not make excuses.

I'll sleep probably 5 or 6 hours a night because I spend my day working my ass off. Whether it be lifting, practicing my instrument, recording, editing or mixing, I want to be someone people look up to, and that can't happen if you be fucking lazy with your life.

[–]DavidB7 points points [recovered] | Copy

Great post i struggle with this as well. It can be a hard cycle to break.

[–]Desadarius[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Agreed. Get the ball rolling though, and every aspect of your life becomes better.

[–]LostLittleBoi4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Fuck yea dude. You're lucky it only took you a year! That was my life for years, 18-21 I'd do as little as possible and party as much as possible to remove the "I'm useless" feeling. Chase your damn dreams and never quit! Been in a rut for a few weeks and this is exactly why, gotta get my ass back on the horse

[–]mafa885 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Being busy is a form of procrastination.

Think of all those drones in the offices milling about forever "busy" but never doing shit.

It's perfectly acceptable and fine to stop and enjoy some rest and quiet. I offer a different approach.

Move with purpose. Every action, step, word spoken, gesture, pause.. Do it with a purpose. Your time is invaluable, so why waste it on frivolous, useless shit?

Instead of "I am going to do X" (which anyone wanting to be busy can do), think "I am going to X because I want Y".

There is a difference between "I am going to go to the gym" and "I am going to go to the gym and go for my PD Dead-lift.."

Suddenly you realize what the priorities are and what really matters.

[–]PreOrgasmGroanLness4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I disagree. Don't stay busy for the sake of it. Just do stuff you want to do. Being busy leaves you miserable, but most importantly you waste time just for the sake of being busy. I rather do something in one hour than let it take three and pretend I'm busy. Fuck that, I've had too much of it.

[–]Expectations11 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Good mentality to have when you are lazy.

These days theres not much external pressure for you to go get things done

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

The best is when you find a hobby and become obsessed with it. Bonus if it's a skilled hobby like wood working or a martial art. Mine was DJing a few years back. But in any example, you're always busy with your new craft, learning, creating, enjoying. And if you get good enough, your hobby can make you money.

On the self discipline side, it gets much tougher when your side endeavors aren't fun. Mines learning german now and it's very difficult to self motivate outside of my lessons AND I live in Germany.

[–]The_Dank_Astero1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Procrastinating gets you nothing done, and unfortunately we are all good at it.

[–]pabloethcobar1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm making a conscious effort to stop saying "I don't care" because it's been a habitual phrase I've used all my life when I confront conflict or boredom. I've just realized that saying this, which is accepted socially, has drained passion from me and stopped me from getting out and using the world for what I want. Thanks for the post

[–]bench2500 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I doubt listing to music will affect your dopamine levels. I could be wrong though. Also, social media is a main culprit too, I just deleted my Facebook account after playing with the idea for a while. This includes reddit, instagram, twitter and snapchat, you don't have to delete them just use them less, you'll feel better. Get the fuck off your phone, life's right in front of you.

[–]L_darkside0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I think this happens naturally to some people, always when getting around 30-33th years old. Can anyone confirm?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

But what if nothing pans out despite working your ass off, because you are an oppressed minority being held down by the patriarchy?

[–]fakenate10 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I read through that blog, some okay advice. I think it's funny how there's no tv but the occasional bowl is okay.

But, do people actually feel depressed after they beat off? I've heard it mentioned before, but never really questioned it. Ive been beating it once or twice a week since I started at 17, and have never felt depressed about it. (Though I never had internet porn when I started jacking off)

[–]LOST_TALE0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

"Oh, I gotta wait till x happens before I can possibly do x."

Or if it's rational to wait for something, just switch: ''I'll do X instead of Y'' instead of ''I'll do none''

also if you want to trick yourself with some level 2 switch inception TM, switch your procrastination and say ''I will procrastinate later'' or ''it's ok not to procrastinate (unproductive leisure or w.e it is) now and do it later (or never)'' as opposed to ''It's ok not to work now and do it later(or never) ''.

Also I sometimes found myself after doing a lot of work being like ''wait I barely played any videogames this week'' and then I hacked myself and went like ''Wait, why do I care?'' ''It's totally fine not to play videogames'' ''I can just sit here and nothing bad will happen'' ''I have no obligation to play video-games'' ''why the fuck did I have a quota in my mind'' ''if I am ok this other way?''

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy


I had a friend once who wasnt exceptionally bright but he was tall and handsome. Dude kept track of everything he wanted to do and goals. Even if it was just to buy a cd he wrote it on a dry erase board. Despite not being incredibly bright he's successful and gets shit done.

[–]Modredpillschool0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

"Make your bed" is worth a read. The big block to doing things is having intermediary steps that are either difficult or unknown. Working around that block is the key to being effective.

[–]ffffffffffdddddsss0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Fuck, this is my life right now. Fucking paralyzed my indecision.i know what I need to do but I can't bring myself to start.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

deleted What is this?

[–]enkae73170 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This. Just started hitting up my local gym yesterday because summer is here and I'm off school. Been sitting at home bored out of my mind until work.

[–]Landry86-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

I've never understood boredom. I always have something to do... gardening, pets to take care of, I will go on a run for fun or call up a friend. I'll never understand people who complain about being bored.