This might be 100% common knowledge, but I just learned my lesson the hard way. Figured I’d share what I learned in case it helps prevent someone else from making the same mistake.
A couple months ago I go out with this girl and we have a good first date. End up f closing her that night. She hits me up a couple days later for a booty call and all is well. Anyway she’s a pretty busy girl but I want to see her again so I start trying to set up meets. Every time she would say she was busy on the day I propose, but she’d propose another day and I’d go along with it. At this point, given our schedules, we’re probably only hanging out once a week or so.
Every time I agree to meeting up on her time, it feels like I’m falling into her frame, but my desire for sex outweighed my self respect in holding frame. What I realized is sometimes you need to be ok with standing your ground and not having sex if she won’t play on your terms. I was afraid of her losing interest if we went a few weeks without hanging out. And thus I was also afraid of losing her. This kind of neediness is transparent to them. Never get attached. Always be ok with plates dropping. Slowly but surely I started to give off a desperate vibe. Now she’s sending me mixed signals, but as the great Pook points out, mixed signals are the message.
One day she’ll ask me what my plans are, then when I try to get her out, she either can’t or won’t respond. I’ve come to realize this means it's over and I’ll be going no contact. Already deleted her number. In hindsight, I think if I was less thirsty for sex and refused to reschedule on her terms, she’d probably still be attracted to me. Always put yourself first and don’t be afraid of losing her. Acting out of fear of losing her will blow up in your face every time.
This might not be earth shattering advice, but it’s a lesson I just learned the hard way. And if you feel yourself getting oneitis (as I started to), voluntarily cut yourself off from her until you’ve cultivated more abundance. Otherwise she’ll eventually drop you anyway. The only reason she kept me around for so long is because I’m hotter than her. Nevertheless, catering to her schedule is beta behavior that will cause her to lose attraction to you. Lesson learned.