290,247 posts


TL;DR: I stuck up for a friend's girlfriend... she mocked me for it behind my back. Don't be the white knight.

I've been a follower of TRP for a couple of years now. It's had such a great impact on my life. But once in awhile, I have a "hiccup" where I fall back into my old Blue Pill ways. I thought this could be a healthy reminder for folks.

A couple of nights ago, my friend and I were out drinking. He gets a text from his girlfriend that she and some female friends are at a bar down the street. I'm always game to meet some new chicks, so we head right over.

Now, my friend's girlfriend (let's call her Sara) is an extremely stupid person. All of us in the group know this. Even the boyfriend.

But that night, one of Sara's girlfriends (let's call her C-Word) was being extremely belittling to her in front of us -- dismissing everything Sara said, calling her a moron in a non-joking way, etc. I was drunk and thought I'd stick up for my friend's girlfriend.

"You are really being kind of a bitch to her," I said to C-Word. "She's your friend. And that's how you talk to her?"

The stink-eye C-Word got was priceless. Sara didn't say anything, and I decided to completely turn my attention to one of the other girls around. Let's call her Girl 3.

Eventually, the night came to an end and I decided to hit the road.

It turns out, the second I left, Sara apologized to C-Word for my behavior. Not only that, Sara turned to Girl 3 and said "I just feel sorry for you... YOU had to talk to him all night." So Sara, C-Word and Girl 3 all had a laugh at my expense (according to the my friend -- who ended up getting in a huge fight and nearly breaking up with her over it).

The bottom line is this: Sara is a stupid person. And when she was being treated like a stupid person, I should have kept my mouth shut.

[–]Westwood_1 602 points603 points  (51 children)

I’m sure she appreciated you sticking up for her. Seriously. But you’re a random guy, and Cunt is her “friend.” You embarrassed Cunt and potentially started something by calling Cunt out, so Sara had to patch things over as soon as you left. Sara knows her place in that social hierarchy, and needed to assure Cunt that things weren’t going to change because of what you said.

So yeah, you did something nice. And predictably, you made yourself the foil for the tension within that “friendship.”

[–][deleted] 271 points272 points  (33 children)

There was definitely some of that going on. Boyfriend told me that Cunt is the "leader" of the group and Sara is terrified of upsetting her. Fuck Cunt.

[–][deleted] 50 points51 points  (3 children)

Maybe you could've taken the piss out of cunt without doing it in a protective 'white knight' way. Idk. Could've been interesting.

[–]excaliboor 11 points12 points  (1 child)

What would you do in his situation

[–]juliusstreicher 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This sounds pretty fucking soy inspired...

[–]PhaedrusHunt 90 points91 points  (0 children)

Fuck Cunt.

Basically the code by which I live my life brah

[–]markinsinz7 35 points36 points  (16 children)

Yea in addition I'd say u didn't understand the fundamental social dynamics even. So whilst the white Knight part is bad u need to learn what to say to whom to say. Sara is probably the lowest status in the group because -dumb n pretty.

In general I'd advise against sticking up for people unless u gotta back up ur buddy in a fight with other guys or something. Even if suppose that cunt was insulting ur buddy u don't really get in her face he must be able to stand up for himself. If he's not able to do so as long as u don't get in on the joke with the girls that's all fine.

[–]GenieGenius 24 points25 points  (2 children)

We should do up a post about these sort of uncommunicated social dynamics. Honestly, I think it's the biggest cock block for guys here because they don't understand the silent language of sexual attraction.

[–]markinsinz7 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Yea took me a long time to learn this shitt. Fuckin hate when i see high school kids who get it. Hell they even do it better than me. I still dont know how it comes so naturally to some people-highs school kids like wtf. I became aware like at 24 years sigh. As for the post yea I think a lot of pple have talked about it already some new red pillers don't get it right in early stages. Let it be, time is the best teacher of all

[–]GenieGenius 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You realize you can still fuck high school chicks? They actually prefer older men. You can just lie and say you're 21. Besides, high school girls aren't exactly a catch and as a man your SMV doesn't peak until age 38.

TRP can also be detrimental to a high schooler because it can make women repulsive to him once he learns how female hypergamy works.

[–]kellykebab 26 points27 points  (12 children)

Why though? Is respecting petty female hierarchies "manly" or Red Pill? If OP thinks Cunt is being a cunt, it's totally fine that he called her out. Why does he need to impress this shitty group of bitches?

[–]2Overkillengine 10 points11 points  (6 children)

It's more that unless there is some gain to be had from the interaction, why bother? Just silently take note of the cunt's behavior and apportion your trust accordingly. At most, be thankful you had the opportunity to learn her true colors without being the recipient.

And most certainly keep your current and future interactions with them as minimal as possible once you learn their nature.

[–]kellykebab 7 points8 points  (4 children)

why bother?

Because part of being a man is being authentic. If you feel compelled to call out someone's bad behavior, you should be free to do so. Obviously, OP felt strongly about this. Why hold back?

[–]2Overkillengine 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Part of being a man is also being pragmatic instead of being a slave to your feeeeeeeeeeeeeelings.

[–]1TheProphetPhysiquiel 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Sure, you should be free to do so. But every action has consequences, and you must be prepared to deal with them.

[–]Thynome 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Upvoted because this is a question worth being asked

[–]markinsinz7 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's about power dynamics man trust me it pissed me off too. Especially the more straight forward honest down to earth person u are the more pissed u get when u realise u can't talk about a lot of things in the open. It's the same reason why u can't explicitly call out women on being slutty or 2 faced and what not. Just the way the game is.

Look at it this way an authentic man doesn't call out women like that because he knows women are children. why take em seriously?why care at all? Remember he/she who cares less holds the power.

[–]physicalbitcoin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And most certainly keep your current and future interactions with them as minimal as possible once you learn their nature.

This is the main point. They all sound like a bunch of idiots.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (4 children)

It's in the intention. The difference between SAVING Sara (white knight) vs calling a cunt a cunt.

[–]kellykebab 4 points5 points  (3 children)

I don't really see how that matters. Being Red Pill means never being nice to women ever? Maybe OP misread the severity of the situation, but I think white knighting requires either a) a greater degree of overreaction from the guy, or b) a sublimated sexual intent/desire for the female victim. I don't think either factor was at play here.

Having any degree at all of a sense of protectiveness towards women is not necessarily white knighting. It's juts being a decent person.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Having any degree at all of a sense of protectiveness towards women is not necessarily white knighting. It's juts being a decent person.

It's trying to save them (Good boy syndrome) that's white knighting. While men have protective tendencies, a) they know how to pick their spots and b) it's really how we communicate that protection and our intention that matters. Social awareness is important here, and that's the difference. I elaborated on another thread here but due to TRP rules I can't link it (I tried the first time and got my submission removed)

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (2 children)

There was definitely some of that going on. Boyfriend told me that Cunt is the "leader" of the group and Sara is terrified of upsetting her. Fuck Cunt.

Exactly. But here's where you correctly identify your White Knight behavior: it's not your problem, it's her problem. Sara is clearly the beta in that hierarchy and quite frankly is just there to get trampled on by Cunt, but it's better than not getting attention. That said, until she learns the lesson for herself, she's not going to stand up for herself.

Okay now, ready for this? You could have handled it the same exact way but came out as an alpha. If you called cunt out for being a cunt but in a way that wasn't overly dramatic (again, the alpha/leader is good at saying things as it, knows that sometimes subtlety goes a long way). The difference between a White Knight and a true alpha is the intention. You were wanting to save Sara, you felt sorry for her, didn't you? If you were your Alpha self, you probably would've said something and then moved on.

That's my four cents on this, feel free to disagree.

[–]2wiseclockcounter 0 points1 point  (1 child)

how would that alternative look, in your opinion?

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sly, snarky remark that makes the group laugh. It's a group of females, so there's a sub-communication going on there. One does not need to hammer the point. Simply point it out, perhaps mask it under humor. Think about your favorite comedians - they're telling you a point right? Humor is just one way. Another way is to point it out but very subtly. Or - just say it out directly and without the "you're a fucking cunt to this nice little girl" intention and tone.

[–]Zormut 8 points9 points  (2 children)

More like fuck Sara. I feel that it's just a shitty girlfriend material to start with. It's not the C girl fault she wants to dominate, everyone does. Its Saras fault she lets everyone dominate her. On a more rational note: never give a random chick power. Shes ur friend's gf - she's no one to you.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child)

How're people so desperate for friends, they let someone treat them like that?

Your girlfriend doesn't have to go lifting with you, but being that much of a pushover is embarrassing. It goes beyond cute and girlish.

[–]Zormut 0 points1 point  (0 children)

On the bright side tho, her boyfriend does whatever the fuck he wants with her as soon as he keeps the frame stronger than the C girl.

[–]wataDs 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There you go. If anything you should be feeling better about it. As Westwood said, Sara would've been grateful in different circumstances.You're a bang-up guy and you can recognize injustices. Nothing to be mad at Cunt or Sara about. (She's just fucking dumb)

[–]Hviterev -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That's not something strange. That's how group works. If you hate them, you're probably just a bad player and shouldn't write about the game.

[–]WholesomeAwesome -1 points0 points  (0 children)

lol your a rag. Standing up for a girl against her own choices.

[–]HavelBro_Logan 31 points32 points  (0 children)

I think Sara appreciates it but she probably can’t leave her social circle so she was forced to do that. You did the nice thing but it was disruptive and she had to shuffle everything back to being disfunctional. Reminds me of high school where I begrudgingly stayed friends with people that aren’t all that great.

[–][deleted] 26 points27 points  (1 child)

(Sarah's words) "Dear, C-word don't think for a moment I'm getting less submissive than I have been up to now. I love things the way they are."

(Sarah's thoughts) (How would I live, without my own submission? Don't even wanna try to figure it! F**k that guy who took my defense!)

[–]RocketScientist_nr3 13 points14 points  (0 children)

(Girl 3's thoughts): "Woohoo! My social status is being validated over C-word's. I'll talk to this guy for the rest of the night to figure out if I can get some more validation/status out of OP"

...Later when OP is gone... (Everyone's intention): "Let's shift back to our usual social pecking order because OP's interference isn't worth arguing about. Let 's say some emotional sh*t and be irrational about it in order to forget about OP."

[–]wataDs 7 points8 points  (2 children)

This is precisely why I've made it personal policy to not interject in other people's drama. There's much more undercurrent and background to people's interpersonal relationships to step in (unless necessary)

[–]projects_dude 6 points7 points  (1 child)

Yes, couples will have make up sex after their troubles. And come the next day or meet up you'll be the odd man out.

At best I found you can make a joke about how stupid their fight is, but once you start choosing sides, people remember which one you choose later, regardless of who's fault it was.

[–]Gobraves44 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Incredible play by play break down

[–]boxxybebe 4 points5 points  (2 children)

Love this comment, sometimes the guys forget to see girls as humans and instead automatically sentence the girl's behavior to the "benefit" of the affirmative.

[–]Coptek91 1 points1 points [recovered]

Who said girls weren't humans? We just know females and their social dynamics are drastically different than those of men.

[–]boxxybebe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What I'm saying is that when there's a situation where the reason behind a girl's action could have equally been either positive or negative, many tend to automatically jump to the negative conclusion, and rarely consider giving her the benefit of the doubt.

[–]kellykebab 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Very perceptive. With a normal, reasonably confident woman, OP probably wouldn't have gotten the same result. But Sara sounds like she has poor self-esteem and needs to fit in with her shitty friends. Not everyone is like that.

[–]Senior ContributorNightwingTRP 4 points5 points  (0 children)

+1 point for this clear insight into the social dynamics. I have no idea why you're not commenting here more often.

[–]atifhere 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, its not whiteknighting nor that woman considered it to be. Whiteknighting is something that you do expecting that girl will feel attraction in return. He did it simply because he felt bad for her.

[–]mishasam89 1 point2 points  (0 children)

tension within that “friendship.”


I never understood these types of "friendships"

is this like "attach yourself to a stronger person" thing?

[–]Endorsed Contributorsadomasochrist 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Succinctly it was DLV.

[–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat 380 points381 points  (35 children)

Let's be clear here. White-knighting is "defending a woman usually from men in the more or less conscious hope that you'll get rewarded with sex". What you did here is not as much white-knighting as stupidly getting involved in the complex politics of the female social matrix.

In summary, what you have there is a social circle of three females composed of a mother hen and two followers. Within this group, mother hen is constantly working on covertly maintaining her authority, while the two others are working on covertly undermining her authority. And all at the same time are doing so while trying to look irreproachable and maintaining consensus at all times.

  • Cunt belittling Sara was a way for her to maintain her authority over the girls. The girls know to expect this. It probably happens all the time.

  • By getting involved, you overtly interrupted a social process that is based on the appearance of consensus. That's bad for all of them.

  • Sara apologizing to Cunt for you was a way to maintain consensus within the group.

  • Sara disparaging you to Girl 3 was a way for her to increase her status within the group, to potentially become the new mother hen.

  • The three girls laughing at your expense are just damage-control to solidify the group.

The bottom line is not that "Sara is a stupid person". This is just your gut reaction of having someone backstabbing you. What you don't realize is that it's not personal at all. Women are going to woman. Your involvement in this was jeopardizing the group so they had to gang up on you to maintain it.

The bottom line is just don't get involved in female social politics. There is absolutely nothing to gain, and you're more likely than not to get burned as you just illustrated.

[–]Cryxtalix 6 points7 points  (12 children)

So what should be the overall best way to act in that situation? Avoid getting involved whenever possible, but since OP is already at the table, it's worse off to not talk at all right?

[–]Docbear64 34 points35 points  (6 children)

Just let the cunt call the stupid bitch a stupid bitch . If stupid bitch was bothered enough to fight back then she would . Everyone else knows she's a stupid bitch and she probably even accepts the stupid bitch role in the group . Ultimately this is a no-win scenario for a man . Women friendships are fickle anyway OP just jeopardized what semblance of a female circle Stupid bitch had in this scenario .

They don't work like us guys do where your awkward friend getting picked on all night is kind of fucked up and you choose to stick up for him . With dudes it's a matter of " why are you making him uncomfortable he's just having a good time" . For women there's a status dynamic at play in it as well .

[–]Magnetosis 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I think calling her out is fine too. I think to some extent it show status because you don't want shitty/negative behaviour around you. I think shutting down the mother hen character can show control over the situation as well if done right. At least for me being in a group with somebody behaving like that is super lame. As long as you're prepared to walk away and not get dragged down into the mud with the asshat and aren't surprised by the outcome if it turns out the person you stuck up for falls back in line when you leave it's whatever. I think it also depends on how you call her out, read the room. Given it's a bar I think the best idea (assuming you want to address it) is to call her out half as a joke but half serious. Don't kill the vibe by having a stick up your arse about it but at the same time make sure it's clear that you won't be tolerating this behaviour while you're there.

[–]projects_dude 2 points3 points  (0 children)

One thing that's going unnoticed, is he tagged along and is there with stupid. Had he been girl 3's friend or mother hen's, cool say nothing cause it's not your problem.

Frankly had he remained just a quiet pompous witness to Cunt's bullshit behavior, I'm not sure girl 3 would even want to talk with him.

[–]fromthecrypt8 1 point2 points  (3 children)

What then would be the best way to deal with the potential «Why didnt you stick up for me earlier?» when they get home? Let’s say OP was Sara’s boyfriend.

[–]Docbear64 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Women almost never ask men to stick up for them when it comes to other women unless she wants her boyfriend to fight the other girls boyfriend . Honestly I don't know what the right move in this scenario is , who invites a cunt out to drink who talks shit to their face ?

In a situation like that the winning move is probably just not to cavort with rude bitches.

[–]xenongamer4351 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Honestly the only move would be to flip the dynamic and say “Why do you even hang out with her if she makes you feel bad?” And maybe even play dumb and act like you thought it was just overly aggressive playful banter that you didn’t think twice about.

I feel for OP because I really don’t think he did anything white knighty or even cringy, so I think the best response to this situation is unfortunately to play dumb the first time and wait for someone to force your hand. You’re going to look like you have a stick up your ass if you step in in that moment and find out its a joke. I don’t think OPs situation was a joke, but I’m just saying this in case someone reads this and encounters a similar scenario.

[–]Redpiller77 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

"Because it was funny, bitch". (?)

[–]LukesLikeIt 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Put cunt in her place by teasing her but don’t involve Sara at all. She’s trying to assert her dominance in front of a new guy. If he wanted to knock her down a peg then do it but his mistake was being to blunt and obvious it was to protect Sara. But fuck that he should have shut her down for being a bitch in general not just to one person.

[–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You don't have to get involved. Just engage your buddy on a complete different topic.

[–]beginner_ 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The best thing is not to get in this situation. One could argue OP failed already when the left there current place to go to them instead of vice-versa.

[–]LeftHello 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The boyfriend should have been the one to defend his girlfriend if anything

[–]Endorsed ContributorThotwrecker 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The best way is to have fun with the dynamic. In this case OP was trying to fuck on girl 3. Girl 3 is probably somewhere between Sarah and Cunt in terms of status. By simply busting on girl 3 and having a fun vibe with her, Cunt will immediately try to react to the attention going towards a new lower status girl. Which gives you all the power. Specifically if you're all in a set like at a table or at a bar where you can't break off girl 3, then you're best bet is to tilt your body language away and seem a little disengaged, especially relative to the hottest girl - be closed and leaned away from her. But socially you have fun and bust on whoever - do not show overeagerness to "be in on the joke".

[–]reddishworm 18 points19 points  (8 children)

Had a friendly talk with female coworker Amy on the subject of fitness. She would then start gossipping about female coworker Carol, Carol's sleep pattern and how Carol usually only sleeps four hours per night.

Some time before that, Amy told me how she hates people who gossip so I decide to throw her under the bus when Carol arrived.

"Hey Carol, Amy just told me how she deprecates that you only sleep so little. Amy said you only sleep around four hours. You should know better."

Indignant facial expression on Carol. Amy replies with "You ass! I only said she slept four hours *yesterday*. And it's only because she's working so hard!"

After which Carol added "You really are an ass! <Insert five sentences of dumb hamstering>."

I go "WTF! Carol I'm on your side!" Both chicks laughed and ignored me for the rest of the day.

I second: Don't mess with the female hive mind.

[–]SuperCrazy07 73 points74 points  (2 children)

I decide to throw her under the bus when Carol arrived.

So, you decided to start drama at work with no upside for you?

[–]whimsyNena 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. I agree avoiding the complex social relationships involving groups of women is best.

[–]mp111 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Anticipated a shit eating grin, probs

[–]JD42305 21 points22 points  (0 children)

It's not really about female anything. You tattled on someone, that's just poor social awareness on your part. If someone is talking badly about another outside the room, you calling them out in front of both parties is being very confrontational and dramatic.

[–]Ppppap 10 points11 points  (1 child)

They are right. You are autistic and an asshole. Do the same to a male (not in a close knit friend group) and I am pretty sure you are invisible to him from now on.

Do this to your boss, even worst consequences.

[–]reddishworm 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Regardless of you shaming me, the point of my post is not to demonstrate my degree of Asperger's but rather to show how Carol decided to side with Amy and throw me under the bus, despite my effort to reveal that Amy is a backstabber.

/u/Auvergnat and /u/SuperCrazy07 are right: It was stupidly getting involved in the complex politics of the female social matrix with no upside for me.

[–]Endorsed ContributorThotwrecker 1 point2 points  (1 child)

This wouldn't get you very far with dudes either - guys will just think you're a weaselly little autist who can't real social situations. The lesson from that isn't "don't mess with the female hive mind" its don't be so eager for a little social validation that you throw someone under the bus, and make them feel like an idiot for thinking you were worth talking to about anything.

What was the plan, Carol is indebted to you for revealing Amy's backstabbing ways so Carol dumps her long time work friendship with Amy and rides away on your dick? The issue is that you communicated a massive need for validation and a lack of social intelligence, it has nothing to do with female hive mind

[–]reddishworm 0 points1 point  (0 children)

communicated a massive need for validation and a lack of social intelligence

Any book recommendation to fix that?

[–]2wiseclockcounter 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You say he got burned, but did he really? They may throw him under the bus for the sake of their own hierarchy, but his disregard for their reaction probably bumped him up a notch in each of their minds even if they won't admit it to each other. I feel like so long as OP didn't exhibit any butt-hurt about the whole thing and remained cool-headed, the interaction will probably be a net positive in the long run. (not that he would be interested in any of them to begin with)

[–]Senior Contributorexit_sandman 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Let's be clear here. White-knighting is "defending a woman usually from men in the more or less conscious hope that you'll get rewarded with sex". What you did here is not as much white-knighting as stupidly getting involved in the complex politics of the female social matrix.

Thanks, you just saved me the time to write that out.

[–]FinallyRed 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah repairing the collective chill OP disrupted with a laugh at his expense is very different than say a guy failing to disrupt an instance of sexual escalation and being laughed at by the girl in confidence to the guy who seduced her. That is the kind of genuine disdain you never want to gain, especially in pursuit of what you perceive as the good of some chick.

[–]SPREAD_THE_LOVE_7791 0 points1 point  (1 child)

How this isn't the most upvoted comment is beyond me.

[–]2Overkillengine 2 points3 points  (0 children)


That's it. Dudes are not immune to letting their feelings in the now guide their decisions instead of taking a step back and compartmentalizing just long enough to realize how stupid getting in involved in situations like this can be especially when there is no probable positive outcome.

Human nature is natural. It is also sometimes incredibly stupid.

[–]pt5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That link... that is one of the most amazing things I’ve ever read. Omg.

[–]Trowawayantifap28 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Omg you nailed it so well. I love you write up!

[–]IdoNtEvEnWaTz -4 points-3 points  (1 child)

My brain hurts from reading that article

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Put your glasses back on then.

[–]Ezaar -1 points0 points  (2 children)

Do you insight as to understand this social dynamic? Or is this from investigation through personal experience?

[–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat 2 points3 points  (1 child)

As with everything red pill, I discovered on the Manosphere that simple and logic framework that explains a host of female phenomena that I had personally experienced but never understood.

[–]Ezaar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. If there was some reading to be had with the context of female socializing, I’d be interested. A foundation for identification would be helpful aside from having a psychology degree lol.

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorVasiliyZaitzev 134 points135 points  (7 children)

Yep: Women actually loathe white knights

I am also very particular about who I decide to be an unpaid porter or bodyguard for. If a woman isn't my girl or my kin, then she's not my problem.

And fuck sticking up for the "little guy". They will turn on you in a heartbeat if it suits them. "Men are like spiders - it's the small ones that are poisonous."

[–]James_Rustler_ 18 points19 points  (4 children)

Exactly, there's a reason that rapists are the weakest men, it's because they have no societal power so they resort to their only source of influence, physical strength. A harmless man isn't necessarily a good man, he just doesn't have a means of self expression or influence.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children)

Clever-ass name. Sell it to me. I'll give 50 times the money reddit makes a day in profit.

So $80 for it?

[–]James_Rustler_ 1 points1 points [recovered]

Hah. I make $40 a month, so it's worth 22x40 to me. But I can't sell it to ya, I like too much.

[–][deleted] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

This, 100%.

I knew that, too -- I was just liquored up and off my game. #neveragain

[–][deleted] 20 points21 points  (2 children)

I think there is a way to call out C-Word if you use the right amount of humour. Turn a social situation serious and create tension and that is the result you will always get whether is a work function, gathering with friends or even the person next to you on the airplane. You can call the bitch out but make it funny, something like "is she your life coach" or any offhand comment instead of a super serious "you know, I don't think you are treating her well" which just ruins the mood

[–]MarcosDomingues 5 points6 points  (1 child)

This. OP probably pointed it out in an autistic manner

[–]hawkeaglejesus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Overt communication never works. Gotta power talk your way with women to get your message across.

[–]CapnPoot 84 points85 points  (24 children)

This might be the unpopular opinion, but I don’t think you “white-knighted” her. That girl was being a bitch, and you put her in her place.

10/10 would be your friend.

[–]BuddhistSC 6 points7 points  (3 children)

100% agree. I personally wouldn't care how Sara feels, but I'd still feel inclined to tell Cunt that her behavior makes the situation less enjoyable for everyone involved and that I feel embarrassed being near her.

If they make fun of me for that then oh well. Why spend your time with people like that?

If you weren't there with your friend, you could have communicated all of that with body language and by simply walking away.

[–]hawkeaglejesus 1 point2 points  (1 child)

That's the key. By making it Sara vs Cunt, OP put himself in the middle of their relationship. Making it Cunt vs Group having a good time would've socially shamed her, and one thing women can't stand is being socially shamed or being painted as the disrupter of everyone's good vibe.

Just something simple like, "You're so negative, it's really killing my buzz. Is she always like this?" Leave the relationship between Sara and Cunt out of it.

"A man is shamed by being openly ridiculed and rejected. It requires an audience."

[–]BuddhistSC 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's a good distinction to make. Defending Sara vs. disparaging Cunt.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not really... she was calling her friend a moron and obviously he doesn't know how they usually talk to each other. To call a girl a bitch straight to her face is just not an appropriate move in that situation.

[–]BirdManBrrrr 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I had the same thought; could argue defending some other dude's girl isn't his place but shitty behavior is shitty behavior and letting some dumb cunt ruin the night isn't cool either.

[–]NibblyPig 12 points13 points  (1 child)

I agree, if he kept frame at the end and treated it as a group shit test he'd come out on top. Outcome independence is hot. So is speaking your mind.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Also mother hen was trying to place a relationship with the white knight and the useful follower who was deserving of a scrap of food. You are the scrap.

She saw you were alpha and wanted to show you how she could make the other women dance on the tips of her wagging fingers even with abuse. She was strutting her power. Attempting to hit on you. If you reinforced her dominion over them, you would have had panty access to all of them. From the alpha woman for being alpha, and the beta woman for being alpha. You messed up when you turned beta. Then neither the alpha wants, nor the beta wants.

This is why they say women accidentally destroy civilization. She is tearing at the social constructs of people treating each other with respect and due process. Its chapter 1 of the bible. God made eve, and her first order of business was to immediately fuck up the beautiful relationship structure with drama and hatred. Then immediately all the garbage became everyone elses problem.

Stay true to your sensibilities, they are the origin of civilization itself. Without you, men are only turd flinging apes.

[–]DontYouTrustMe 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Agreed, but better to not be involved in the future

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agreed. White knights are too beta to call out a woman like OP did. White knights only protect women from men they don’t call out other women.

[–]dynospectrum7 6 points7 points  (5 children)

Seems like everyone who is attempting to unplug should experience this. Yes, women will appreciate the white knight in the moment, but that is just for the moment.


I'm with some of my friends at a bar, and I was going back and forth with some chick. From the jump, I never took her bullshit, never supplicated. And because she was drinking and naturally emotional, she started crying over some BS I forget. So a friend of mine walks in and sees this. I tell my homie not to worry about her, but its a vagina so he brushes me off (a little more aggressive and thirsty than I cared for), then goes to brush her tears away.

Anyways, she eventually gets out of her feelings and comes back to talk to me, sharing her food in the process. Right on queue, my friend sits at the table to join us and tries to crack a joke. And of course the bitch absolutely let loose on him. Shitting on his looks, clothes, personality, weight, hair, telling him to go sit at a different chair, you name it. Shit got to the point where I had to dog myself to get the attention off of him. Dude went from white knight to talking the same shit back to her in an instant.

For a moment, I thought it was one of those shit-tests for him but no, the way he set the tone was all fucked up. Dude came in like a jellyfish and she saw him as such.

They don't respect you (as a man they want to fuck) when you step to them like a bitch, so don't do it.

Hope that all made sense, I'm all over the place today.

[–]RedditorFor1OYears 2 points3 points  (3 children)

Lol. I followed most of it, except the jellyfish metaphor.

[–]hawkeaglejesus 4 points5 points  (0 children)

jellyfish have no vertebrae, the friend was acting spineless

[–]Keanu_X 2 points3 points  (1 child)

"dog myself" is not a term I'm familiar with

[–]hawkeaglejesus 2 points3 points  (0 children)

make fun of yourself, OP tried using himself as the target to draw fire off his friend

[–]AHumilationADay 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So, here's my question, how exactly did you react to her emotional outburst? Dismissively? Passive responses, active disinterest? I still haven't figured out how to handle this yet

[–]Helpcalculus 16 points17 points  (0 children)

The bottom line is this: Sara is a stupid person.

Nope. The bottom line is you don't jump in when her boyfriend is there. It's disrespectful to him too. You are basically telling him "Bro, they are shitting on your girlfriend and you are doing nothing?"

Now, if your friend wasn't there and some dude was rude to Sarah, that's a different story.

[–]VanityKings 5 points6 points  (0 children)

You lose when you argue. Amused mastery and an air of indifference are all you need

[–]Endorsed ContributorThotwrecker 6 points7 points  (1 child)

The problem here is NOT that you white knighted. The problem here is that you displayed your social incompetence by failing to identify the group dynamic and vibe with it.

For example, if the group dynamic is that Cunt is the queen bee and Sarah is the punching bag, then by stepping in and standing up for Sarah, you're showing you don't understand the social dynamic. They have a certain friend dynamic - it's kind of like if you're hanging out with black dudes and they call each other nigga and then you're like "whoa, guys, chill with the racism, OK, have some self respect it's february guys!".

It's not the white knighting - white knighting is terrible, but the issue here is social sense and social games. The "dump on Sarah" is a social game, to gain admittance to the game, you bust on Sara.

If Cunt shit tests you, you just say "whoa who do I look like, Sara, you watch your tone" in a fun, non-serious way. The issue is also tonal - they were probably talking in a non-serious shit tone, whereas you interpretted it literally and got butthurt about it, so you came in with a "Hey, guys, whoa, seriously" tone. Girls fucking hate it when they are having fun doing dumb shit and turning up, and then Mr. Responsible Guy tries to "real talk" about something, like careers or logistics.

[–]Losingsteamfast 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah this post reeks of spin. If we talked to the girls I'd bet 6 months pay they describe op as the awkward guy in the group.

[–]temerarious 15 points16 points  (1 child)

I see nothing wrong with what you did. It didn't come across as you defending a woman in an attempt to get in her pants, so it wasn't really white knighting. You saw a bully and called her out. If that social group laughs at you for that, fuck them.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Calling a women a bitch for that women calling her friend a moron is a pretty bad move. If someone is being bullied or gained up on then you defend, but if it's one on one especially between friends then the other person obviously isn't bothered enough by it to care. It's like bringing out a weapon during an argument; it just raises the tension way too much.

[–]BirdManBrrrr 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You were in a no-win situation: either the cunt dominates & ruins the night for everyone or you're the bad guy for interjecting into the female hierarchy. You probably could have used some cocky sarcasm or A&A to make your point and keep it light; you chose a more direct route. It's fine, live and learn.

Women will defend their own regardless of how shitty they're treated by their friends, family, etc. You're the outsider encroaching on the group dynamic; you're the bad guy, how dare you!

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

At least you learned form it, from the tone of this post. Realise that you can never be that kind of hero, because she doesn't want to be saved and because you'll be ridiculed for it

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (3 children)

I don't think you were really a 'white knight' here but you could have said less and been more effective. I've been in almost an identical situation and women will appreciate when you challenge their 'queen bee' when she is being rude or belittling. Next time just give her a disgusted look and ask: that's how you speak to your friends?

Same for guys, if the alpha is being disrespectful and no one in the group will stand up and you do, they will appreciate you for it. And hopefully learn. Thing is being an outsider you don't want to take it too far. Subtlety can really help you.

[–]Cryxtalix 2 points3 points  (2 children)

I think you are missing the point. By how hard sara tried to make amends with c-word after OP defended her, it's pretty obvious sara has the intention of getting on c-word's good side in the first place.

Any sort of defense is detrimental to sara's intention of being good with c-word. Her plan was to sit and endure the shit so as not to upset c-word. Giving a disgusted look would mess with her plans all the same.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah after rereading I see what you mean. As a guy it's definitely best to stay out of women's friendship politics. Not your people and not your problem.

Best to save your ammo for when you need it.

[–]TRPalexmehr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm not sure I agree. You can choose to use your social clout to put Cunt down. But you should do it in a lowkey, lighthearted and fun way.

Great way to establish your dominance and maintain a happy social dynamic. Everyone will want to follow you because you are a good leader.

However, if you were trying to game Cunt, I'm not sure how she would react. Get turned on because you took control of the situation and lightly teased her? Or get angry and resentful for ruining her fun.

[–]1Sir_Distic 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You should have used Amused Mastery. Being more playful and not insulting. Or just stay out of it. As long as she wasn't insulting you or your friend.

[–]Ivabighairy1 2 points3 points  (1 child)

AWALT! This happened to me EVERY time, that's why I don't do stuff like this anymore. It's one thing to have a male friends back, but don't do it for a female. You WILL pay for it.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Never defend a girl from her friend. She doesn't need it, and especially don't call that friend a bitch... it just makes you the bad guy and for good reason.

[–]TheDevilsAdvokaat 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You're right, should have stayed quiet.

She spends more time with c-word than you. So even though you were probably right from the sound of it, she decided she'd use you as a "social sacrifice" so she could be all pally with c-word again - and maybe cop less shit from her too.

She is stupid.

[–]enkae7317 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Props to your buddy. He stuck up for you. But yeah, never be a white knight. I've done that, been there.

I was talking to some girls about how her bf is abusive and she deserves better. Ugh, makes me sick thinking about it now. But the good thing is that you learn. Always be improving and becoming a better version of yourself.

[–]TheLaughingRhino 1 points1 points [recovered]

If you think someone is being a bitch and want to call them a bitch in public ( Obviously NOT at work or a work situation...), then do it.

If you feel something is the right thing to do, and part of your "code" (Every man needs a "code" to live by), then do it. Fuck anyone who has a problem with it.

But people will laugh at you! It's not ALPHA! You won't get laid for that, you need to lift more!

Fuck all that noise. ABUNDANCE means pussy is everywhere. If you lose out on one or two pieces of pussy because you needed to reach into the toolbox and lay someone out with your fists, then so be it.

Every man needs a "code" Sometimes living by your "code" will cost you something Not living by your "code" will eventually cost you EVERYTHING

IDGAF means I Don't Give A Fuck If you want to say it, then say it, don't give a fuck.

The lesson here is NOT to keep your mouth shut. The lesson here to avoid shit like this is to better calibrate the kind of people you choose to be around. These people sound like low quality assholes. Maybe one or two of them was smoking hot. OK, so the fuck what. ABUNDANCE says so what. Plenty of hot chicks in the world. They are all replaceable.

You'll see it out there if you look closely. There are some truly worthless asshole people out there. And while they might open their fat fucking mouths and say stupid shit around some people ( people they don't fear), they won't around others. They instinctively understand - THIS IS GOING TO COST ME.

This is not about running around trying to intimidate people. It's about people understanding your vibe, which calibrates to - Everything you try to do that's being a dickhead is going to cost you.

This is the matrix under which people decide not to fuck with you

  1. I don't know what he will do. I just don't know. He's unpredicatable

  2. All I know is I won't like it. It's gonna cost me

  3. He won't negotiate. Once he's made up his mind, that's it. He's going to never relent in making it cost me.

I remember one of the most vivid experiences of my life. It was some random ass school talent performance. Because it was a school full of dickheads, people smirked and no one clapped. Except one person. Stood up and clapped. Alone. They liked it. It was enough for them. Fuck everyone else.

If you think it's right to stand up for others, do it. If you think it's right to not stand up for others, then do that instead. It matters less about your choice and more about your choices BEING TRUE TO YOU AS A PERSON, TO YOUR CODE OF HOW YOU CHOOSE TO ENGAGE THE WORLD.

Find your own code. Hang out with a better class of people. Use sunscreen. Buy a new shirt. Don't date hairdressers. There, enough good life advice to last you another ten years.

[–]HuGiEnormous 6 points7 points  (3 children)

This isn’t being a white night. This is being a decent person. I would have done the same.

Just because they’re all shitty people don’t let it deter you from being decent in the future

[–]RedditorFor1OYears 2 points3 points  (1 child)

Out of curiosity, how do you define white-knighting? This seems like a pretty clear example to me.

[–]HuGiEnormous 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Doing something similar in the hope that youll get laid, or to make a girl like you.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah calling a girl bitch to her face is really being a decent person. Defiantly no better ways to handle that situation

[–]jimmyb207 2 points3 points  (2 children)

"C-word"?...you're still B-pill. The girl is a cunt. Say the fucking word...Cunt. Feel your Balls hanging between your legs... don't be ashamed of it.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ha, I honestly just wasn’t sure if that word would get me reddit flagged... cunt cunt cunt. There.

[–]Saiyandeus 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think what you did was completely fine. You were uncomfortable with how Sara was being treated, and you let her friend have a piece of your mind. You may have been white knighting Sara, but was that the intention or just a by product of you expressing your belief about how people should treat their friends? I think what you did showed character, and girl 3 probably respects you for it even though she laughed along with her friends later on. Maybe I'm not red pilled enough. If so, please tell me where I'm wrong.

[–]Throwtheknightaway 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Review the 48 laws of power. C-Word was the head of the group with how she treated Sara. Sara was being smart and not outshining the master. Let C-Word do her thing but don't let her think she can do it to you. That's what matters. If you want to save a friend from someone like that, make it so that you're the center of her world

[–]plascra 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dude, girl cliques are stupid where typical logic doesn't apply. You are still green.


Sara knew her place in the clique, and to stay in that clique... you get it?

Consensus is the keyword in girl cliques, even if at the wrong end. That's how they are wired. Crabs in bucket thats what they are.

[–]lorum_ipsum_dolor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Rule 4 - Always Say Less Than Necessary

[–]ChadTheWaiter100 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The bottom line brother, and I’m sure I’ll be downvotes bc people will not understand what I mean, is that you need to continue improving yourself. If you were at the point where you needed to be you would have fucked girl number 3 and C-word and you wouldn’t be concerned with them “having a laugh at your expense”.

Btw, I’m not saying this to insult you, this is constructive criticism.

[–]Compeliminator 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think you did fine. Call thebitch out on her shitty behavior and then not give a shit what they say or whether they like it.

[–]TunedtoPerfection 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sara is actually pretty socially intelligent.

Look the 2nd worse way to combat a social bully like that is to "stand up for yourself". The first, is have someone else do it for you. All it does is make the bully want to bully you more aggressively the second you are away from the person who stood up to them. Sara knew this, that is why she said nothing when you did it and then apologized for your actions the second you were out of earshot. Sara knew what you did would only make her situation worse if she tried to capitalize it.

You on the other hand, in this moment, had the social intelligence of a 2 year old. Lesson learned: "Never meddle in this affairs of women's social order."

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It goes a bit beyond the precinct of white-knighting and female behaviour.

Nearly all people will remind you with their reactions that no good deed goes unpunished, but cretins will do so in an outstanding way.

The bottom line is this: Sara is a stupid person. And when she was being treated like a stupid person, I should have kept my mouth shut.

Indeed. There's the trope that they'll resent you for underrating them. When the truth is, they'll resent you for overrating them. If you treat an irresponsible (or stupid, or whatever) as something more than he/she is, they'll unconsciously feel their inadequacy, feel as if you are demanding of them more than anyone should, and develop hostility toward you.

** Never try to part slaves from their masters (pecked from the peckers, in a pecking order): it's the best way to experience the anger of the former in its most powerful flavor.

[–]charliechucksuck 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hmm man idk if that was so beta if you fucking own not being liked. Or don’t give a fuck what they think you

[–]legitniga 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t think you did anything wrong man. You weren’t white-knighting to impress anyone, you were just legitimately defending a “friend.” Sara is probably just a moron and attacked you to make things less awkward with her friend.

[–]drkinferno72 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unless you've been knighted by the king to fight the saracens. Don't white knight anyone, chivalry is dead.

[–]throwawaydefriended 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not really white knighting - white knighting isn't necessarily about defending a woman, but more about attempting to one-up other men by doing so.

Even though Sara isn't your "friend" necessarily, I got more of a vibe of what's described in the thread below this one about "standing up to friends in the face of disrespect" (not gonna link it, I did but didn't realize that linking within here also gets filtered but it's right below this one). This wasn't about trying to impress Sara or trying to make any impression. But rather standing up to someone being a bitch and putting her in her place.

Though to be fair it is possible you may have been perceived by them as "trying to look like a hero" which I guess is something to be wary of, but no, this was a completely genuine reaction to C's behavior actually pissing you off. For a white knight it would be an "opportunity".

[–]GeeMunz11 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm curious. OP, after reading everyone's comments, would you do this again?

Personally I would. Gotta call people out for being cunts regardless of gender.

[–]CulturalWishbone 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Look, guys understand the value of an ally. They need to understand it because men evolved in a hostile dangerous world. You might not like the guy your hunting with but you either learn to work together or your die.

Women can just squabble with each other with no real consequences.

[–]BillSander 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Some pretty good analysis of this post. I agree with the posts and info them. Good opportunity to sneak a peek into female group dynamics.

[–]redd_reality 0 points1 point  (0 children)

See, the way you explained the situation, OP, is that you stood up for someone when she was clearly being kicked around for no reason.

That, in and of itself, is what most normal people would do, to a reasonable degree.

What white knighting is, is going above and beyond in support of a woman because you believe it'll gain you favor with her. It is a covert contract.

The fall out you experienced isn't because the situation went down like you described it, but because you went well above and beyond into sucking up territory. Women are very good at differentiating the two. Next time, describe your white knighting more honestly, so people don't confuse it for sticking up for the victim in an obvious bully situation.

[–]1swaglordobama 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There is a difference between being a white knight and being a man of integrity and discipline.

If I saw someone disrespecting another person like that for no reason I would do the same and call them out. It's shitty behavior and it should be called out. Not everything is about getting laid. You have to have boundaries for what kind of people you allow in your life and what kind of behavior you accept from others. I would not hang out with anyone who treats their friends that way. I wouldn't give a shit what they think of me, either.

Also the dynamics at play are very much that your boy's girlfriend is the leader's bitch and values the leader's opinion of herself over her own, like that dorky kid who wants to get in with the popular kids at school, so he puts up with a lot of hazing and self deprecation thinking it's going to get them to like him.

Anyway, don't feel wrong about your choice. Own it. Couple of girls don't like you because you didn't compromise your integrity? Good riddance.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t think I even consider this being a white knight. You made one comment about another girls shitty behavior which isn’t too bad.

[–]StrayEnglishman 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think everyone has their blue pill moments as we’re all only human beings with flaws. But as somebody said, disrupting that female social matrix just isn’t wise; no matter how soyboy one gets, you’ll always make a shitty excuse for a woman, so it’s better not to get involved in woman shit. Women are always going to be more loyal to other women. Men are disposable to them.

[–]TheeAlligatorr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You saw something. You called it. Sara is the fucking idiot in the situation

[–]Enigma221 0 points1 point  (0 children)

typical female-ape hierarchy

[–]corystereo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did worse a few years ago. A crazy black lady in Bryant Park was shouting at some "4" who happened to be a White female, and I piped up to the crazy lady "Can you just leave her alone?"

The crazy lady immediately gets in my face and goes: "She's my sista and she owes me monay! She needs to learn respect!" As she says the last word, she slaps Ms. "4" in the back of the head.

Although I'm embarrassed that I was such a queer back then (this was 5 years ago, and I had just graduated college, mind you) the memory of that slap almost makes it worth it because I'm chuckling as I write out that part--it wouldn't have happened had I kept my mouth shut.

I can't believe I thought I was a gentleman; I could have easily been stabbed! Needless to say, these days I keep my mouth shut when situations like that arise--whether it be a male or female getting in trouble. I'd advise anyone reading this to do the same.

[–]MagnumBurrito 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Stop giving so much thought to these girls opinions. They all sound like dipshits.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But that night, one of Sara's girlfriends (let's call her C-Word) was being extremely belittling to her in front of us -- dismissing everything Sara said, calling her a moron in a non-joking way, etc. I was drunk and thought I'd stick up for my friend's girlfriend.

Why the fuck would you stick up for a moron, when someone is treating them like a moron? She IS a moron, by your own admission.

That's like defending a fat person from being call fat.

It turns out, the second I left, Sara apologized to C-Word for my behavior. Not only that, Sara turned to Girl 3 and said "I just feel sorry for you... YOU had to talk to him all night."

See, this is what you get. You might be as dumb as Sara. Enjoy the fruits of your labor.

[–]gorebwn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We all have hiccups man. Don't sweat it.

[–]Jacob_exe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you called someone out on their bullshit, and deep down I dont think you did it to “white knight” sara I think you did cause it made you feel awkward she was being such a dick

regardless, just know in the future when you call someone out especially the friend of someone stupid dont expect a “you know what I was wrong”, expect an equally stupid response

[–]7mile_ 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Bro let's face it. That wasn't the reason for it.. you were probably sloppy drunk. Stay sober when you're out and you'll make better decisions.

[–]Chahhhles 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To be for real if you wanted to shut C-Word's pie hole all you had to do was start clapping at C-Word. You shifted the energy in the event which is a no-no. So fail there.

I mean Sara was getting roasted but the correct thing to do was flip it on C-Word with a well timed jab to keep the laughs rolling, and potentially steer the conversation, if everyone else in the convo was in fact laughing. Reading the room in the proper context is important frand.

In my experience everyone already knows shit like that is dumb but no one usually can come up with anything quickly that would be cool to ameliorate the situation with so they stfu and let it pass i.e. that awkward silence after.

Edit: nvm

[–]gardn198 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Us women are complicated creatures and I would never expect a man to understand or follow our twisted logic sometimes. I'm sure she secretly DID appreciate it, but had to save face to her friend, unfortunately at your expense.

I have a recent similar example, I just went on a cruise with a bunch of gfs and I madeout with this guy I had been eying the first couple days. Well, he was pretty forward and kept asking me to have sex with him multiple times after I kept saying no. I told this to my friends but it wasn't a HUGE deal. The next day, we run into him and my friend, unprompted by me, BITCHED him out. I was so embarassed and profusely apologized to him. I kept telling her to stop but she wouldn't.

Now, I man would think she had my best interest at heart. But that's not how women think

My gut instinct told me she was just jealous and trying to cockblock me from hooking up with him again. Fucked, i know. But she's done things like this to me before. How's that for a mindfuck?

[–]Attractos 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Some bitches care more about staying in their social circle then having dignity and self worth.

[–]JeNeSaitQuoi 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I agree with the others that there can be incomprehensible undercurrents among social circles and this explains why squirreldentist's experience.

I'd like to point out that one can express disapproval through non verbal communication. That is avoiding eye contact; physically moving away or turning away from the offensive person; pretending not to hear them and so on. People who have mastered the glare or the raised eyebrow are ahead of the game.

The beauty of non verbal communication are: Plausible deniability. People can turn away or not hear something so anyone trying to accuse someone of mistreatment / disrespect has an uphill battle. Sara in this scenario may not have noticed or could pretend that she didn't notice if she were called on. And so can anyone else. This has an isolating effect on the person to whom the dismissiveness was directed.

[–]jizzledfreq 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can confirm, was white knight for a co-worker friend who kept branch swinging back and forth between abusive men. We had unspectacular sex one night when one of her fuck boys didnt come through.


Was emotional tampon, and last november rolled my car, lost all my shit in it, and racked up a $1100 tow bill. She got on a greyhound that night and left me to deal with everything.


Fast forward to now, she relapsed on meth, is hoing around for alcohol & drugs, sucking her moms ex boyfriends dick for free tattoos, and I haven't heard from her in months despite being her "best friend". Her still in contact with both of her abusers.

I white knighted, I tried to save a no, I fell on my sword and nearly died. But at least I can admit my fuck up and move on...

[–]PaulRocker 0 points1 point  (0 children)

at this point I just want to make my music and smoke my weed. two things that will never let you down.

honestly, fuck a relationship

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"A couple of nights ago, my friend and I were out drinking. He gets a text from his girlfriend that she and some female friends are at a bar down the street. I'm always game to meet some new chicks, so we head right over."

You disobeyed Law 8: Make other people come to you; use bait if necessary. That's the first wrong step you made. And then the second wrong turn was being a white knight.

[–]Andgelyo 0 points1 point  (0 children)

TIL dumb hoe is a dumb hoe with all her friends. What else is new.

[–]kiwi_like_me -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Good. Now go cut your dick off.

White knighting is despicable behaviour.

[–]terraformers8 -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I just don't care how females treat each other. If it's not some situation that I absolutely have to sort out than why bother. This is absolutely a display of the female pecking order. It's a bit odd to insert yourself into a situation like that involving your buddy's girl. It does seem alittle bit like white knighting. Why else would you do such a thing, there is absolutely no upside to it. Zero. Unless you are attracted to Sara and you were trying to file some kind of brownie points away for future use. That's how it looks form the outside, anyway.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Honestly, to me, this is just sad!!! You use the words bitch, c-word and call her stupid. Sounds to me like you just weren't aware of the situation so you're making an excuse to make yourself feel better!!

[–]Scandinavianredpill -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You are are an uptight dude. wasting time around retarded chicks with an IQ of 80. if you want to be anything else, dissociate from people like those. Sara does that out of low self esteem and the rest are just being bitchy and seeing if any guy will push back lighly but fun at them so they can smear him in pussy.

You are clearly overreacting.

[–]presto_manifesto -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You got owned, and it won't be the last time.

[–]Losingsteamfast -1 points0 points  (3 children)

Tldr - op can't read social situations. He got drunk and made an ass of himself by trying to save a girl from normal banter. Then instead of trying to figure out where he fucked up, he decided to get butt hurt and write a post about how everyone else is an idiot.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (2 children)


Being drunk, I admitted I read the situation wrong. I posted it as an example of someone reacting to a situation wrong.

I haven't called anyone an idiot.

What are you talking about?

[–]Losingsteamfast 0 points1 point  (1 child)

"I haven't called anyone an idiot"

Sure you did - and then some.

let's call her C-Word

Now, my friend's girlfriend (let's call her Sara) is an extremely stupid person. All of us in the group know this

The bottom line is this: Sara is a stupid person.

So Sara, C-Word and Girl 3 all had a laugh at my expense


I admitted I read the situation wrong. I posted it as an example of someone reacting to a situation wrong.

No you didnt.

TL;DR: I stuck up for a friend's girlfriend... she mocked me for it behind my back.

You carefully crafted the narritive and tried to frame the story as "I was just being good guy doing the right thing for m'lady and they all turned on me for being such a good honorable guy!"

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

I really think YOU'RE the stupid one. You call her the 'c-word' and you don't even know her. This IS NOT a white knight incident....this is you not understanding the situation.

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (1 child)

You cared so much to come here and write about it.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think you’re really missing the point here...

[–]RedPilledRoaster -3 points-2 points  (1 child)

Yeah don’t shite knight nothing new here

[–]1Sir_Distic 4 points5 points  (0 children)

How does this comment add anything of value to the sub?