I know when I first found TRP, its been over 4 years. 4 years ago I was still in the early phases of it all. I was making a move to another state over a thousand miles away to start a new job and life. It was the perfect time for me to go monk mode. Having been a total blue pilled beta for the first 26 years of my life, TRP made a lot of sense to me right off the bat because I finally was able to figure out where I was going wrong all those years.
For about 3 months all I did was go monk mode. I read the sidebar multiple times and basically had it memorized. I also read all the top posts here on TRP. I read all the manosphere blogs, memorized the most common shit tests and the best retorts to them. I internalized all the core principles and the way to do things. I thought when I finally got out there, it would be easy. Why shouldn't it be? I did all my homework and all my reading. Applying it should be a piece of cake.
You will fail
Just going to put it out there. When you first go out in the real world to apply your newly learned red pill knowledge, tactics, strategy and game, you are going to fail. Expect it. Don't go out there assuming you are going to hit it out of the park and bang multiple women right off the bat. Mistakes will be made. I just got into the saltwater fish tank hobby. I had watched videos, read articles and done my research for years before jumping in. I thought things would go smoothly, but damn I am 2 months in and I still make mistakes, even rookie mistakes, what seems like every day. It's easy to get discouraged when you inevitably fail at first, but learn from your mistakes. Trial and error is the only way you will improve. You aren't going to be Chad right off the bat.
Game Speed vs. Practice Speed
Sometime in the Summer of 2014 is when I finally put my foot in the water. I went out with friends at work. I didn't shit where I eat so I tried to game the friends of their friends. It wasn't a complete disaster but it was apparent quickly that this shit was going to be a lot harder than I thought it was going to be. The thing that jumped out to me the most was how quickly everything happens. It reminds me of when I played football in college and we would always hear about practice speed vs. game speed.
An opponent we played every year was Air Force. They ran a unique gimmick offense that was one thing to practice for, but in games they ran it and executed it a hell of a lot faster. It was one thing to defend it in practice, it was another thing to defend it in the game.
Same thing with gaming in real life. It's one thing to read about scenarios and play through imaginary scenarios in your head. It's another thing to do it for real. The speed at which everything happens is extremely fast and its tough for a newbie to keep up. This is why actual real world experience is far more important than monk mode and reading. A lot of people say that the sidebar and top posts and reading material is high school and real world is college. Wrong. The side bar and top posts are pre school and the real world begins at kindergarten. You are just beginning and its a damn long way to go.
Shit tests aren't served up on a tee
So you have read numerous articles, blog posts and such about shit tests, you know all the common ones and the comebacks to them. That's great and all, you will encounter them. But the thing is, they aren't phrased exactly as they are in the posts you read. When going through scenarios in your head about being shit tested, you always pass them with flying colors because you are able to frame it in your head and frame the exact situation. Real life is different. Shit tests come when you least expect it, and are not always easy to spot. To this day, there are still times I go back to a conversation I had with a girl and realize something she said was a shit test and I was unable to realize it at the time. The common shit tests only make up a small fraction of actual shit tests you get. So if you think you will be able to beat them by memorizing the common ones, you are wrong. That's another reason why real world experience is so vital - so you can calibrate your shit test detector. Women will shit test you in so many ways, from so many angles, in so many styles, and at first it will be hard to recognize them all. Combine this with the above section, about game speed vs. practice speed, and you will quickly realize its not as easy as it seems. Real world experience, men. It's vital. Experience is needed to adapt to the speed of how quickly things happen and the infinite number of directions things will go.
Expect the unexpected
Gaming doesn't follow a script. It's not like you go meet a girl, you talk, you pass her shit tests, you escalate, you fuck. It's not a cookie cutter process that has a predetermined flow chart. There will be speed bumps, detours, obstacles. Adaptability is another reason why real world experience is so important - you have to be able to change your strategy and approach and adapt based on events that have already occurred. This is one thing that threw me off when I was still raw - I always envisioned things unfolding in a certain process and order, and never knew what to do with myself when things went off script. Learning how to improvise or change strategies in the middle of gaming a girl is a skill that will only be obtained by real world experience with trial and error.
With that being said....
There are 2 shit tests I get from damn near every girl who has ever been into me and who I have slept with. You will get these from women who are into you at some point, and you have to be prepared for them. If you get them, it is most likely a good thing. It means there is a good chance she is open to you.
Agree & Amplify is the only way you should be answering these two questions.
There is a third shit test that is very common but those two are in a different tier in terms of frequency. That 3rd shit test is "I have a boyfriend". Ignore or A&A.
This isn't a race. Once you get the hang of things your natural instincts will be to go rapid fire and swat down all her shit tests and run game like a machine gun. This will make you seem a bit too fake, too eager, and out of control. This leads to a loss of frame. Slow down. Take a step back, take a deep breath and pace yourself. Don't answer her questions and don't pass her shit tests right away. Let a second or two pass before opening your mouth. Leave her hanging. The pregnant pause is a great tool in your arsenal. The pregnant pause is when you start talking, pause, and then resume. Don't sound like an auctioneer. The more in control you are with your words, the more you will be in frame.
Eye Contact and Body Language is half the battle
You can lose the game before you even open your mouth. Naturally when you open up to women, especially if you are new at this, you are going to get nervous. Your heart rate will jump, you will want to breathe faster, you will not be able to control the pitch and tone of your voice as well, you will be inclined to not make eye contact, and you will be tense. Women are very in tune to a man and will be able to sense all of that. You need to learn how to rein it in. Take a deep breath or two, gain your control and composure. As I said above, take it slow. Slow down. Get a hold of yourself. As time goes on and you get better at outcome independence it will be easier. But you need to train yourself. The best way to gain control is to maintain firm eye contact. Look her in the eye. Make her be the first one to look away, not you. Take up space with your body. If you are sitting down, spread your legs. Put your chest out and make sure your shoulders aren't slopped and collapsed inward. Take deep breaths and relax yourself before speaking.
Resist the Temptation
When reading on sidebar material and internalizing it all, and then playing through imaginary scenarios in your head, its easy to tell yourself you aren't going to resort to blue pilled tactics, behaviors, and responses. But the real world is different.
dr_warlock had a good post last week titled Beware the Beta Bait that goes into detail about this that I think is required reading.
It will be very tempting to open up and tell too much about yourself. It will be very tempting to play the role of comforter. It will be very tempting to play the role of emotional tampon. It will be very tempting to play the role of white knight/helper. It will be very tempting to divulge information about yourself like your job, income, and other details best left kept to yourself. It will be very tempting to say too much. You will think "Well this girl is different" or "This situation calls for it" but you have to stay focused and not diverge from the red pilled way of going about things. I can make an entire book of times I made an exception and it ended up costing me. I still make the mistake today.
Less is More
Too many men think they need to talk themselves up. Remember - you can't talk your way into attraction. You can't negotiate it. Opening up to girls and diverging all this info about you in an attempt to show her how awesome you are will not make her any more wet. All it can do is dry her. The 2/3 rule exists for a reason. I see so many posts on AskTRP asking why she doesn't want a 2nd date, and a common theme in those posts are that on Date #1 they went somewhere and "talked for hours".
You need to let yourself and your frame do the talking. Say what needs to be said, in as little words as possible, and then leave it at that. Don't say more than you need to say to get your overall message/point across. Everything you say must have a purpose, and your purpose is advancing your end goal of fucking her. If it's not going to advance that goal, chances are you should think twice before saying it.
On the Hook
Eventually, after trial and error and failures, you will do things right and get far enough with a woman to where you know you have her on the hook and she is into you and all you need to do is close the deal. Fishermen, when they have a fish on the hook, ramp up the intensity and battle the fish all the way until he has it in the boat.
When you have a woman on the hook, you have to do it a bit differently. Your natural urge will be to have a sense of urgency, ramp up the intensity so you can get her in bed. This will lead to a loss of frame, make you look too eager and thirsty and out of control. I know the first time I hooked a girl, I got way too excited and that excitement became external. She flaked. It's like a game of poker - you have to maintain a poker face. When you have a good hand in poker, if you aren't careful you will give away via your body language and facial expressions that you have a good hand. You must keep that shit to yourself. You have to maintain plausible deniability and keep your interest and excitement hidden. The possibility of you flaking has to be in her mind. Ramp up the intensity, but in a way that appears like you are calm and in control and outcome independent. Do not show your hand. Reel her in without her knowing she is being reeled in. This is where your sidebar reading about kino comes into play.
Kino takes practice
Like with everything else, its one thing to read about kino and how to do it properly, its another thing to actually do it. The more you do it, the more natural it becomes, and you will find what works for women, and what doesn't. The overall number one key of kino is to make it appear spontaneous, natural and smooth, not forced, abrupt, and pre-planned. Where or how you touch her does not matter as much as timing. Yet another reason real world experience is so vital.
You must maintain plausible deniability until you stick your dick inside of her.
Do not drop plausibile deniability until you are balls deep in her. Period. Even though you know the road will eventually end at sex, even though she knows it, you do not mention it. If she mentions it, fine, but play it cool. Do not show your hand. Period. There have been multiple times in my experience where a girl flat out told me she wanted to fuck me, and I was like "OK, lets do it" and eventually she flaked out once her LMR/ASD shield went up. Watch what they do, not what they say. Until your dick is inside of her, you can not ever let your intentions be known. Invite her over but don't give her a reason. If she asks why say its to show her your <insert thing here>, for me its my fish tank. The second she knows your true intentions, chances are its over. It's one thing for her to assume your intentions, which is in your favor. But if she knows them you are more than likely screwed.
Take it even slower once you are in the location you want to fuck.
Most guys here will end up fucking at your place or her place. Either way is fine. I've done both. Your natural urge once you are at your final destination is to escalate the fuck out of everything, rip your clothes off and fuck. No. Like I stated above, plausibile deniability must be in play until the very end.
Chances are once you are alone with a girl that the hormones are raging and you will be extremely horny and dying to get things going. You must fight this and instead take a step back. Patience and timing is key. Being too urgent, too eager, will backfire.
For example, when I have a girl in my apartment, I don't go straight for the bedroom. I turn on the lights, check my mail, turn on the TV, act like she isn't even there. Trust me, this won't kill the mood. You already have her on the hook, you don't need to go for the reel in right away. Show her around. Pour her a drink. Watch some TV. Show her things. I am not saying do this for hours, but you need to let enough time pass to where plausibile deniability can set in. You have to stay in control.
From there its best to slowly escalate to set the tone and vibe. Once you have set the mood, you can escalate faster with more intensity. Read her body language and emotions. Chances are she is horny and it won't take much, but you still have to be restrained and in control.
There will be resistance
No matter how into you she is, no matter how down to fuck she is, almost always she will put up a fight and resist before allowing you to fuck her. This is normal. Watch what she does, not what she says. LMR/ASD is always your final obstacle. The best way I handle it is to ignore, withdraw the intensity a little bit, then slowly ramp back up. Chances are you will get further along this time. LMR/ASD isn't a one and done thing either, there is a good chance you will have to burst through it several times before you gain entry to her vagina. Stay the course and be patient. You will know when she truly isn't interested and sex isn't happening. She will let you know, it will be clear, and it won't be a question. If this does happen, do not push further. You don't want to get hit with a rape accusation. Best to play it safe.
Unleash your inner animal and fuck her hard
Once the clothes come off and you know you have burst through the LMR/ASD its go time. I know my biggest fear when I started was that I would be disappointing in bed and sex would be awkward. It's natural to think this when you are inexperienced. Even if you are inexperienced, the best thing you can do is take total control and dominate her. Don't go too far to where assault and battery and rape charges will be imminent, but dominate her sexually like a man within bounds. Move her around with force, control her, make her do what you want her to do. Call her names. Slap her on the ass. Grab her tits. Have your way with her. Don't take it slow. This isn't a romantic comedy where the sex is slow and calm and smooth. If you go hard, then it won't matter how long you last or how good you are. Going hard will mask mistakes you make until you can get more experienced. I am not saying lasting long isn't important, but going hard can override the disappointment in other areas.
Take the proper precautions
By this point your biggest enemy is rape accusations. If you have security cameras at home, its best to have them going during your encounter. If you have ways of recording your encounters, do it, whether it be video or just voice. It doesn't hurt to send a text message afterward telling her you had a good time and if she does the same you can use that. Wrap up for any sex you have. Make sure your condoms are fully disposed of.
Avoid the Oneitis Trap
The first few successful sexual encounters you have will have you itching to do it all over again. The chemicals released during sex will cause you to want to bond with whoever you fucked, especially if it was good and she is hot. Feelings will arise for these women. The one thing you can't do is get attached to them. If you want to LTR them, you have to make them prove it over time, and not just because you and her had a good fuck. You have to fight your instincts here. A successful sexual encounter should be followed up with casting your net wider and expanding your options, not zeroing in on that girl you just fucked. One rule I gave myself is to never fuck the same girl twice in a row. Fuck at least one other girl before you go back to another one.
Despite my TRP reading and knowledge, the first girl I banged after swallowing the pill I got oneitis for. And I got jealous when she banged another dude. A bit too jealous and it took me about a month to snap out of it. Don't make the same mistake I did. The road doesn't end once you get a lay. It's just beginning. You have to continue to cultivate relationships with new women.
If its just one plate, is it really spinning plates?
From my experience, its not spinning plates unless you have multiple plates. If I ever had just one plate, it felt more like a pseudo-girlfriend than a plate. It's best to spin multiple plates instead of just one. For me I don't make a girl a plate unless I can make another girl a plate too. Options and abundance really is the key to success here and having two or more plates is infinitely superior to having just one. My experience speaks directly to this.
Uncharted Territory: LTR
This is an area outside of my expertise, as I have not dabbled in an LTR since swallowing the pill. There are desires to do so, but I have always resisted. An LTR for me would require extreme vetting, the right girl and the right situation. You shouldn't have to look for an LTR, the right LTR should fall in your lap without having to really try. If you have to find an LTR, you will always settle and make compromises.
I see so many guys here on TRP and AskTRP who are so quick to jump into LTRs. I believe this is rooted in a severe lack of abundance and they feel the need to LTR the first girl they have success with. Why? You are far better off being extremely patient and playing the field. Get experience. Bang a bunch of different women and see what you like and don't like. How will you know what woman will be right for you in terms of an LTR if you have limited experience playing the field? It would be like buying a house after just going to one open house. Yeah the house might work for you and be a good one, maybe even great, but is it the best you can do? That is the core of LTR patience. Is she the best you can do? How would you know if you didn't fully explore your options?
The sidebar, the manosphere, the blogs, the articles, the top posts, they are starting points. You will not become a successful Chad simply by reading them and then going out there. Success is cultivated by a lot of real world experience.
Until you actually get out there, you will have no idea what is coming. The speed and variety of the shit thrown at you from women is something you can not prepare yourself for other than actually immersing yourself in the fire from the front line and learning from your mistakes and experiences.
Shit tests are not served up on a tee. You will be shit tested in many different ways and not even realize it. Learn how to recognize shit tests quickly and respond to them quickly. There are far too many ways women will shit test you for you to be able to memorize a list of them and the common retorts to them. You can only master shit tests via real world experience.
When gaming women you have to remain in total control. Lack of control = lack of frame. Control must be maintained via speech, body language, eye contact and facial expressions.
Less is more. Say what needs to be said and keep it at that, and your frame will do the rest of the talking.
Never ever ever reveal your hand(intentions) to a woman. Plausible Deniability must be maintained at all times until your dick is actually inside of her.
The best way to compensate for a lack of sexual experience or fear of disappointing her in the bedroom is to fuck her hard like an animal and dominate her.
The temptation of oneitis WILL set in when you succeed in fucking a woman. You have to do everything in your power to resist the temptations. It is imperative to maintain options at all times.
Don't be so desperate and quick to LTR a woman. Play the field, you owe it to yourself. An LTR has to work for you and fit for you, not the other way around. Too many men compromise on LTRs by finding one that sucks the least rather than works best for them.