Get comfortable with being uncomfortable

kryptofinger · 2018-06-11T22:49:40+00:00

I think the truth is even simpler, conflict is the secret to growth and pain is necessary for life.

Ailig · 2018-06-11T22:17:12+00:00

In the Army we used to say, "Embrace the suck." Same sorrta thing.

VasiliyZaitzev · 2018-06-11T23:36:05+00:00

if approaching women is nerve wracking, you should approach as often as possible, regardless of the outcome.

^ This.

I don’t remember the last time I was rejected by a woman, not because it doesn’t happen, but because I don’t care. You approach enough, and you will get good at it and then it will be the easiest thing in the world.

0706024 · 2018-06-12T00:04:22+00:00

I am active duty. You can probably guess which branch based on my vocab usage.

There are so many lessons the Naval Special Warfare Community can teach us about not just TRP but life.

Remember folks, "It pays to be a winner".

Run the extra mile. Do one more set of pull-ups. Rep out ten more push-ups before your body collapses onto the deck. Sprint the last 50 meters of freestyle in the pool. Tie yourself up and jump into the pool and drownproof yourself.

Operational tempo is still my number one priority in life (as it should be for anyone in the services). My desires for women come second.

That doesn't mean I neglect TRP. "I can't approach women cause my profession is number one" is a treasonous excuse. Military gals are still gals. I often apply TRP concepts on them. Works just the same.

Constantly push yourself further every day! If it sucks, just go through the motions.

ssr401 · 2018-06-11T23:16:03+00:00

Lifting heavy weights is not even uncomfortable for me, maybe it was in the beginning. Running a marathon, studying and approaching is far more uncomfortable for me tbh

OfficerWade · 2018-06-11T23:07:32+00:00

Jeff Cavaliere from AthleanX?

AshyLarry27 · 2018-06-12T02:02:34+00:00

David Goggins is BIG on this. Joe Rogan had him on his podcast. I don't inspire as easily anymore, but man I replay that pod cast on my way to the gym now

BurnoutRS · 2018-06-12T00:59:16+00:00

The more you push yourself outside your comfort zone, the larger that zone ends up becoming. The nature of comfort can be described easily by the nature of fear. That which is uncertain makes us uneasy, we fear a potential negative outcome. As we grow accustomed to the things we are uncertain about, we learn about and begin to understand them. Eventually we learn enough to develop certainty

salinorum · 2018-06-12T00:23:32+00:00

Jordan Peterson is constantly advising to face the one thing that makes you the most uncomfortable because the most potential to grow paradoxically lies in the situations that are the hardest.

I'm a masochist in the sense that I sit in the sauna uncomfortably long. Great for feeling healthy and learning to endure during discomfort. Just a recommendation. Cheers brothers.

ayadk2336 · 2018-06-12T00:52:01+00:00

You just gotta have the “Fuck it!” mentality. As soon as you notice your brain tryna talk you out of something, physically move your body and act on that action you’re scared/uncomfortable with.

possessedmokey · 2018-06-12T01:57:43+00:00

Embrace the suck and give no fucks.

MilkMoney111 · 2018-06-12T15:52:31+00:00

I’d like to share a story of BUD/S. Not sure if it’s TRP related but there is a solid lesson about framing things.

I was always a jack of all trades. Not really excelling in any one field. In BUD/S you have your endurance runners, sprinters, swimmers, and guys that could do push-ups and pull-ups all day. Hardly anyone excelled in every aspect. The muscle bound guys could PT all day but fell like a brick in the water, and lagged behind on the long runs. Then the endurance runners could lead the pack but struggled to survive the grinder.

I honed in on as many aspects as I could but my weakness was sprints. The instructors are amazing at finding out weaknesses. There’s a motto: it pays to be a winner. Everything is a competition and if you come in bottom of the pack, you’re punished for it. It’s called the goon squad. I managed to stay out of the goon squad for a while. Until one day we did berm sprints. And I suck as is sprinting. Add in sand dunes and I’m fucked.

I came in last. Dead last. Consistently. I was thrown in the goon squad and did sprints until I thought my lungs would explode. Then I was singled out even more and did sprints until I could beat just one person. Which I couldn’t do bc I was so winded. Over and over again. I tried pushing myself so hard I’d pass out and get a break. But it never happened.

I survived that day and felt so defeated and embarrassed. I felt shame. But over the next few days I noticed a change in the vibe with that particular instructor. He wasn’t letting up for sure but he had some sort of quiet respect for me. And I realized even though I was bottom of the barrel, couldn’t compete, I never once thought about quitting. Even when I felt like dying. The instructor saw that in me. And my frame shifted immediately. It wasn’t that I sucked, it was that I didn’t give up despite the suck.

I was picked on when it came to sprints so much that I actually got better. I never was the best but I managed to keep myself out of the goon squad for the most part.

It’s all frame. In a twisted way I looked forward to the suck bc I knew growth, humility, and respect fostered there.

UnrealKnite · 2018-06-12T05:17:18+00:00

might try tomorrow if i dont psych myself out. it's the last week of school, can't hurt.

chazthundergut · 2018-06-12T06:22:26+00:00

Get comfortable with being uncomfortable is a great philosophy.

Discomfort is essential for growth as a Man.

TheDevilsAdvokaat · 2018-06-12T10:14:33+00:00

Push your boundaries.

And yeah I think this is good advice for men. This is how you grow.

And sometimes how you get hurt. C'est la vie.

[deleted] · 2018-06-12T14:23:59+00:00

It's being fearless, it's the basis of psychological intervention.

face your fears, build your character, spread your wings etc

manwithoutwire · 2018-06-11T23:43:59+00:00

I try to take a cold shower every day to embrace this philosophy.

ultrasuperthrowaway · 2018-06-12T00:01:44+00:00

Lately I've been trying to talk to girls again for threesomes and I forgot how disappointing and uncomfortable it can be to get delayed responses. I forgot not everyone is that willing to fuck me as the people I surround myself close with.

Gotta get used to being uncomfortable. Solid advice

nastyamerican · 2018-06-12T03:28:46+00:00

Great advice in general but not helpful when it comes to approaches. Let’s move away from platitudes here. A guy can do tons of approaches, and it doesn’t matter if he’s comfortable or not. If he consistently is doing the wrong thing or runs out of things to say, he’s not going to get what he wants.

Early on I did a lot of approaches and eventually got comfortable, even though I consistently got rejected. Later on as I got better I was sometimes super uncomfortable and still found myself having success.

Game isn’t all that different than sales. Yes being able to be in discomfort is great, but doing the right things to get you where you need to go is better.

The Game isn’t won with approaches.

OfficerWade · 2018-06-12T04:44:46+00:00

Approaching girls is uncomfortable because its so far outside your perspective that you dont see what over the hill, but remember the mind can see. This is a course in training your mind. So the next time the girl you know you should approach escapes you before she leaves, you're just scared because you cant see. Morpheas says the brilliant line in The matrix when talking to Neo. He asks why do my eyes hurt? Because you've never used them. So get used to living by faith. im sorry that's not the answer most of you want to hear.

[deleted] · 2018-06-12T01:34:33+00:00

Timely post of this. Started a new job today, paying me more than ever, but it’s not in my comfort zone. Totally in my industry and within my realm of expertise, but how to drive numbers is the goal. Worst part, is that time is what counts, as in time spent in an uncomfortable place. I want to jump head in, but it’s not that kind of role.

GAAP-toothed · 2018-06-12T02:58:02+00:00

My favorite post of the day

ApexmanRP · 2018-06-12T07:28:48+00:00

"Don’t shy away from confrontation. I’m not saying go looking for it.."

The conflict you should be looking for is the conflict with yourself.. your comfortable, lazy, settled self.

wss5112 · 2018-06-12T08:03:53+00:00

It’s not only about desensitisation but more importantly the increased acceptability of shit. The more you’re ok with shit the less you look weak.

Recently I gave some thought to the general men vs women tendency to accept difficult work. Men tend to think they could do and say yes. Vice versa. Women for reason they’re more insecure with challenge and hence the loss of opportunity that follows.

So be a man. Deal with the feelings if it’s the discomfort that holds you back.

[deleted] · 2018-06-12T09:33:01+00:00

Does that mean you should go to let's say cut throat business field (ie. IT Recruitment etc) just to get into the very uncomfortable environment?

I ask, as I could make similar transition that doesn't pay a lot more atm but in 2 years would make decent comission (uncapped OTE). But would that be considered as a growth or naive decision?

abudun79 · 2018-06-12T10:08:54+00:00

What I would like to add: It never ends!

silverback-banker · 2018-06-12T12:13:00+00:00

A big 4 global professional services firm told me this during orientation for an internship. The common theme and main point of advice was "Be comfortable with being uncomfortable".

The way I've integrated this into my life is:

Calling people out and raising the issue when someone screws me around (i.e. overcharging you, screwing up your order, giving you the worst seats at the restaurant etc etc) instead of just dealing with it and staying quiet.
Doing stuff I don't want to do, but that I do need to do:
- I never want to study hard, or work - I'd rather spend time doing my hobbies. But I NEED to do these things to get the maximum benefit for me.
- This point in particular has helped me achieve top grades at university

Nivekkav · 2018-06-12T15:59:33+00:00

This is very true. When you get out of the comfort zone things tend to work they way you want.

Cthula-Hoops · 2018-06-13T16:55:44+00:00

Its a relativity thing. When I'm at home I don't want a speck of dirt on me. When I'm at work I don't care if I'm nose deep in rotten shit. If that analogy works.

bootstraps_atx · 2018-06-12T04:01:51+00:00

Life is conflict. If you spend your life avoiding conflict you'll die a sad little bitch. If you spend your life embracing conflict you don't. Oh, you'll still die, but you won't be a little bitch about it.

The_Chiselnator · 2018-06-12T12:17:17+00:00

This is why I believe that every young man should join the military or at the very least take a serious paramilitary course because embracing the suck is very important. Going hungry, wet, in pain for days often in real danger of dying or serious injury does a lot to help one accept The Eternal Suck as a way of life.

amedeo_modigliani · 2018-06-13T06:03:20+00:00

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJq8IovXFYQ

BathesInCheese · 2018-06-13T17:04:11+00:00

The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.

le_wolfe · 2018-06-13T18:15:14+00:00

Comfort is the enemy, unless we are talking about seduction.

RudeAmbassador · 2018-06-16T06:04:33+00:00

That's nice. Discomfort is growth

trpnewguy666 · 2018-06-28T21:33:15+00:00

"Embrace the suck" is another way to put it. https://i.imgur.com/11kcNIF.jpg

doctorcoolpop · 2018-06-11T23:31:54+00:00

this is something that scientists are trained for.. being comfortable with partial, incomplete knowledge ... also applies here

Thunderfin · 2018-06-12T19:59:35+00:00

Lift heavy weights.

L5 S1 injury, can't do that unfortunately. FML.

busshelterrevolution · 2018-06-11T23:55:28+00:00

But what if my problem is that I'm just always fucking tired ?