294,694 posts


Lately I’ve been reading a lot of memoirs from ex navy seals, and I’ve noticed a very good redpill truth they all seem to keep saying, and that’s “getting comfortable with being uncomfortable” Now what does it mean? On the surfaces it seems like contradictory info that sounds masochistic, but if you dig deeper it actually is quite a good bit of advice you can use to help you build frame

Now obv the seals use it in reference to mental and physical discomfort. But you can apply it your own life.

For example, if approaching women is nerve wracking, you should approach as often as possible, regardless of the outcome. If it blows up in your face, good! Live in that uncomfortable moment. Observe it. If you approach enough eventually you’ll become desensitized to it. Once that happens, you’ll flow more naturally.

Now you might never be comfortable approaching women, but that’s not the point. The point is to get comfortable with the feelings of being uncomfortable.

If people overstep their boundaries with you, call them on it. Don’t shy away from confrontation. I’m not saying go looking for it by any stretch, but don’t shy away from it bc it’s “uncomfortable” Embrace it.

Lift heavy weights. Sure it’s uncomfortable, but it builds character, not just muscles. Do it enough and it won’t get any less uncomfortable, but your ability to deal with it will go up.

Bottom line is this. If you want rock solid frame, try adapting the phrase “get comfortable being uncomfortable” and you’ll find you’re potential to be the best version of you will get easier

[–]kryptofinger 344 points345 points  (12 children)

I think the truth is even simpler, conflict is the secret to growth and pain is necessary for life.

[–]Frenetic_Zetetic 38 points39 points  (4 children)

Constant avoidance of growth experiences (avoiding what you PRESENTLY perceive as "painful" and "uncomfortable"), absolutely catalyzes anxiety, stress, and eventual depression.

Spiritual self-debt is a very real thing.

Most people feel like shit because they have no idea they are supposed to be growing through their discomfort, not merely coping with it 24/7.

[–]kryptofinger 8 points9 points  (3 children)

Ironically the idea that conflict is growth even applies to larger entities like nations or tribes. For example if china or russia were to start building a moon base the u.s would be on mars withing 2 years...

[–]Frenetic_Zetetic 5 points6 points  (1 child)

Don't forget the people who vote, have kids, etc. who still don't understand competition is what brought them all the things that let them be lazy. Irony city.

[–]bluesnsouls 11 points12 points  (0 children)

hard times create strong men

strong men create good times

good times create weak men

weak mean create hard times

[–]FeelTheBernieSanderz 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is why a one world 'utopia' would never work, everything would stagnate.

[–]Woodbroker 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Corollary: theres no growth in the comfort zone, and no comfort in the growth zone

[–]Thunderfin 2 points3 points  (0 children)

conflict is the secret to growth and pain is necessary for life.

Fuck that's deep. Thank you.

[–]woodie_wood 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I tripped for 1 year intermittently and the truth I was given was “there is a gift in the struggle”

[–]1randomperson123321 4 points5 points  (1 child)

Pain and conflict helps your growth exponentially if -and only if- you're subjected to them conditionally and according to your management tolerances.

What I'm saying is that going overboard can and will ruin your life. Your physical and mental health will end up ruined, so shall the rest aspects of your life.

Be reasonable with your resources.

[–]kryptofinger 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The only chains you wear are self imposed imo. That's why I consider someones raw strength nothing compared to the power of their will.

[–]Ailig 152 points153 points  (8 children)

In the Army we used to say, "Embrace the suck." Same sorrta thing.

[–]kryptofinger 25 points26 points  (2 children)

Lol I can't count how many times in the Marines we would say before getting ready for the field "im gonna suck start a pistol"

[–]AGameofTrolls 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The first time I heard that expression, I was watching that movie Jarhead, and I could tell the Marines were going to have a hard time in the Middle East when they kept yelling: "Welcome to the suck". I thought that was hilarious and a little terrifying as well.

[–]ThatGuyIam123 6 points7 points  (0 children)

" I bet she could suck start a hemi"

[–]zestytacoz 2 points3 points  (1 child)

I've heard it a lot, didn't know it was an army thing

[–]StrykerGuy90 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's too easy to pick up the lingo if you're tracking.

[–]_noob369 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Embrace the suck and move the fuck forward...

[–]mheyk 2 points3 points  (0 children)

In the Air Force it was assume the position

[–]Senior Endorsed ContributorVasiliyZaitzev 120 points121 points  (0 children)

if approaching women is nerve wracking, you should approach as often as possible, regardless of the outcome.

^ This.

I don’t remember the last time I was rejected by a woman, not because it doesn’t happen, but because I don’t care. You approach enough, and you will get good at it and then it will be the easiest thing in the world.

[–]0706024 1 points1 points [recovered]

I am active duty. You can probably guess which branch based on my vocab usage.

There are so many lessons the Naval Special Warfare Community can teach us about not just TRP but life.

Remember folks, "It pays to be a winner".

Run the extra mile. Do one more set of pull-ups. Rep out ten more push-ups before your body collapses onto the deck. Sprint the last 50 meters of freestyle in the pool. Tie yourself up and jump into the pool and drownproof yourself.

Operational tempo is still my number one priority in life (as it should be for anyone in the services). My desires for women come second.

That doesn't mean I neglect TRP. "I can't approach women cause my profession is number one" is a treasonous excuse. Military gals are still gals. I often apply TRP concepts on them. Works just the same.

Constantly push yourself further every day! If it sucks, just go through the motions.

[–]styrg 11 points12 points  (1 child)

That last part can be so great. Got that out of one of Jocko's books. Going through the motions gets you to consistency, which is key for success

[–][deleted] 18 points19 points  (3 children)

Lifting heavy weights is not even uncomfortable for me, maybe it was in the beginning. Running a marathon, studying and approaching is far more uncomfortable for me tbh

[–]ssr401 24 points25 points  (1 child)

Endurance sports are all about your ability to suffer.

[–]JGF3 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Reminds me of that Steve Prefontaine quote, "I'm going to work so hard that it's a pure guts race at the end, and if it is, I am the only one who can win it."

Friend of mine in college was on the track team (D1, talented guy) and I was taken aback when he said he had no desire to continue running after school. Basically every practice was just pushing your suffering limit--no plays to learn, not much technique to hone, just run as hard as you can every time.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

It's weird how once you start getting the form down for lifting, it really stops being uncomfortable, even when you are having a hard time finishing. This happened today with squats. I really had to push to get the last couple reps in, but my form was good and I didn't really feel uncomfortable...

[–][deleted] 70 points71 points  (3 children)

Jeff Cavaliere from AthleanX?

[–]OfficerWade 31 points32 points  (0 children)

Hey guys, Jeff Cavaliere here with another video...

[–]frooschnate 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you think it’s him or did I miss something man

[–]syf3r 0 points1 point  (0 children)

also the message of Brian Begin of The Fearless Man

[–]AshyLarry27 17 points18 points  (3 children)

David Goggins is BIG on this. Joe Rogan had him on his podcast. I don't inspire as easily anymore, but man I replay that pod cast on my way to the gym now

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That guy is a freak and what he does is beyond impressive, but i would never want to live a lifestyle like he does.

[–]GoCleanYourRoom 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I finished the David Goggins podcast and went straight to the pool and hit my beach lifeguard swim test without stopping, something i had been putting off because i was finding the swimming difficult. Its now a breeze. My god that man is driven.

[–]BurnoutRS 11 points12 points  (0 children)

The more you push yourself outside your comfort zone, the larger that zone ends up becoming. The nature of comfort can be described easily by the nature of fear. That which is uncertain makes us uneasy, we fear a potential negative outcome. As we grow accustomed to the things we are uncertain about, we learn about and begin to understand them. Eventually we learn enough to develop certainty

[–]salinorum 36 points37 points  (3 children)

Jordan Peterson is constantly advising to face the one thing that makes you the most uncomfortable because the most potential to grow paradoxically lies in the situations that are the hardest.

I'm a masochist in the sense that I sit in the sauna uncomfortably long. Great for feeling healthy and learning to endure during discomfort. Just a recommendation. Cheers brothers.

[–]CarthaginianSalt 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Where theres a dragon theres also gold and virgins. If you can face the unknown you will achieve success and get women.

[–]boatyscxslave 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I fear bullies even though I know they are insecure themselves. If I face them I fear that I will emotionally explode, totally freak out and maybe break some bones. That would be a huge loss of frame. Should I just try to keep ignoring them?

[–]ayadk2336 14 points15 points  (0 children)

You just gotta have the “Fuck it!” mentality. As soon as you notice your brain tryna talk you out of something, physically move your body and act on that action you’re scared/uncomfortable with.

[–]possessedmokey 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Embrace the suck and give no fucks.

[–]MilkMoney111 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’d like to share a story of BUD/S. Not sure if it’s TRP related but there is a solid lesson about framing things.

I was always a jack of all trades. Not really excelling in any one field. In BUD/S you have your endurance runners, sprinters, swimmers, and guys that could do push-ups and pull-ups all day. Hardly anyone excelled in every aspect. The muscle bound guys could PT all day but fell like a brick in the water, and lagged behind on the long runs. Then the endurance runners could lead the pack but struggled to survive the grinder.

I honed in on as many aspects as I could but my weakness was sprints. The instructors are amazing at finding out weaknesses. There’s a motto: it pays to be a winner. Everything is a competition and if you come in bottom of the pack, you’re punished for it. It’s called the goon squad. I managed to stay out of the goon squad for a while. Until one day we did berm sprints. And I suck as is sprinting. Add in sand dunes and I’m fucked.

I came in last. Dead last. Consistently. I was thrown in the goon squad and did sprints until I thought my lungs would explode. Then I was singled out even more and did sprints until I could beat just one person. Which I couldn’t do bc I was so winded. Over and over again. I tried pushing myself so hard I’d pass out and get a break. But it never happened.

I survived that day and felt so defeated and embarrassed. I felt shame. But over the next few days I noticed a change in the vibe with that particular instructor. He wasn’t letting up for sure but he had some sort of quiet respect for me. And I realized even though I was bottom of the barrel, couldn’t compete, I never once thought about quitting. Even when I felt like dying. The instructor saw that in me. And my frame shifted immediately. It wasn’t that I sucked, it was that I didn’t give up despite the suck.

I was picked on when it came to sprints so much that I actually got better. I never was the best but I managed to keep myself out of the goon squad for the most part.

It’s all frame. In a twisted way I looked forward to the suck bc I knew growth, humility, and respect fostered there.

[–]UnrealKnite 1 points1 points [recovered]

might try tomorrow if i dont psych myself out. it's the last week of school, can't hurt.

[–]phenethyljammin 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Go through with it, man. You'll feel so accomplished afterwards!

[–]3chazthundergut 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Get comfortable with being uncomfortable is a great philosophy.

Discomfort is essential for growth as a Man.

[–]TheDevilsAdvokaat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Push your boundaries.

And yeah I think this is good advice for men. This is how you grow.

And sometimes how you get hurt. C'est la vie.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's being fearless, it's the basis of psychological intervention.

face your fears, build your character, spread your wings etc

[–][deleted] 9 points10 points  (5 children)

I try to take a cold shower every day to embrace this philosophy.

[–]ultrasuperthrowaway 2 points3 points  (6 children)

Lately I've been trying to talk to girls again for threesomes and I forgot how disappointing and uncomfortable it can be to get delayed responses. I forgot not everyone is that willing to fuck me as the people I surround myself close with.

Gotta get used to being uncomfortable. Solid advice

[–]WonderfulPipe 7 points8 points  (5 children)

You talk to girls for threesomes?

[–]Fedor_Gavnyukov 28 points29 points  (0 children)

well yeah, you don't talk to their parents about it

[–]ultrasuperthrowaway 2 points3 points  (1 child)

We need a new member after one moved to Charlotte

[–]RmX93 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It gets boring after a while to fuck just 1 girl. Threesome is the way and is harder to achieve. Push yourself

[–]nastyamerican 3 points4 points  (1 child)

Great advice in general but not helpful when it comes to approaches. Let’s move away from platitudes here. A guy can do tons of approaches, and it doesn’t matter if he’s comfortable or not. If he consistently is doing the wrong thing or runs out of things to say, he’s not going to get what he wants.

Early on I did a lot of approaches and eventually got comfortable, even though I consistently got rejected. Later on as I got better I was sometimes super uncomfortable and still found myself having success.

Game isn’t all that different than sales. Yes being able to be in discomfort is great, but doing the right things to get you where you need to go is better.

The Game isn’t won with approaches.

[–]oliseo 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sales is a numbers game, and you can absolutely still be the best sales rep if even if you don't have the best "win" ratio so long as you throw yourself into enough approaches.

[–]OfficerWade 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Approaching girls is uncomfortable because its so far outside your perspective that you dont see what over the hill, but remember the mind can see. This is a course in training your mind. So the next time the girl you know you should approach escapes you before she leaves, you're just scared because you cant see. Morpheas says the brilliant line in The matrix when talking to Neo. He asks why do my eyes hurt? Because you've never used them. So get used to living by faith. im sorry that's not the answer most of you want to hear.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Timely post of this. Started a new job today, paying me more than ever, but it’s not in my comfort zone. Totally in my industry and within my realm of expertise, but how to drive numbers is the goal. Worst part, is that time is what counts, as in time spent in an uncomfortable place. I want to jump head in, but it’s not that kind of role.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Nice just got let go from a job today gotta get out there and start looking again tomorrow

[–]GAAP-toothed 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My favorite post of the day

[–]ApexmanRP 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"Don’t shy away from confrontation. I’m not saying go looking for it.."

The conflict you should be looking for is the conflict with yourself.. your comfortable, lazy, settled self.

[–]wss5112 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s not only about desensitisation but more importantly the increased acceptability of shit. The more you’re ok with shit the less you look weak.

Recently I gave some thought to the general men vs women tendency to accept difficult work. Men tend to think they could do and say yes. Vice versa. Women for reason they’re more insecure with challenge and hence the loss of opportunity that follows.

So be a man. Deal with the feelings if it’s the discomfort that holds you back.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child)

Does that mean you should go to let's say cut throat business field (ie. IT Recruitment etc) just to get into the very uncomfortable environment?

I ask, as I could make similar transition that doesn't pay a lot more atm but in 2 years would make decent comission (uncapped OTE). But would that be considered as a growth or naive decision?

[–]abudun79[🍰] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

What I would like to add: It never ends!

[–]silverback-banker 1 point2 points  (0 children)

A big 4 global professional services firm told me this during orientation for an internship. The common theme and main point of advice was "Be comfortable with being uncomfortable".

The way I've integrated this into my life is:

  • Calling people out and raising the issue when someone screws me around (i.e. overcharging you, screwing up your order, giving you the worst seats at the restaurant etc etc) instead of just dealing with it and staying quiet.
  • Doing stuff I don't want to do, but that I do need to do:
    • I never want to study hard, or work - I'd rather spend time doing my hobbies. But I NEED to do these things to get the maximum benefit for me.
    • This point in particular has helped me achieve top grades at university

[–]Nivekkav 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is very true. When you get out of the comfort zone things tend to work they way you want.

[–]Cthula-Hoops 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Its a relativity thing. When I'm at home I don't want a speck of dirt on me. When I'm at work I don't care if I'm nose deep in rotten shit. If that analogy works.

[–]bootstraps_atx 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Life is conflict. If you spend your life avoiding conflict you'll die a sad little bitch. If you spend your life embracing conflict you don't. Oh, you'll still die, but you won't be a little bitch about it.

[–]The_Chiselnator 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is why I believe that every young man should join the military or at the very least take a serious paramilitary course because embracing the suck is very important. Going hungry, wet, in pain for days often in real danger of dying or serious injury does a lot to help one accept The Eternal Suck as a way of life.

[–]BathesInCheese 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.

[–]le_wolfe 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Comfort is the enemy, unless we are talking about seduction.

[–]RudeAmbassador 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's nice. Discomfort is growth

[–]trpnewguy666 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Embrace the suck" is another way to put it. https://i.imgur.com/11kcNIF.jpg

[–]doctorcoolpop -1 points0 points  (0 children)

this is something that scientists are trained for.. being comfortable with partial, incomplete knowledge ... also applies here

[–]Thunderfin -1 points0 points  (1 child)

Lift heavy weights.

L5 S1 injury, can't do that unfortunately. FML.

[–]1Revo_Luzione 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Then train all your other body parts. Do rehab, get your core strong and flexible as you can. Find a really good, I mean rock star quality physical therapist or functional strength oriented chiro. Look into all the therapies out there for your injury, like traction tables, etc.

I have an congenital L5 S1 issue, it will make my feet go numb if I sit too long. I stretch it every day, and I can squat & deadlift heavy as long as I focus on core strength and flexibility. YMMV, see a top notch professional, handle that injury as best you can.