I was born in 1997 to a loving small indian family in Norway, needless to say I was not not the most athletic kid (curry doesn't do that to you). Since the age of three years old I had a passion for soccer, I grew up improving my skills to become a better player playing with older boys. At the age of 14 I played with the domestic big teams academy, I was being matched with players two times my own size and up to three years older than me. I was scouted and brought to England for one month to try in a big team. My tryout went well and they advised me to start working out with my own bodyweight, I was only around 4'7" and weighed around 90 lbs. I was sent home during a Norwegian championship cup for under 16 year old boys as I was tackled and had to go out with an injury to my knee. I was the youngest player to ever participate in that tournament and I was named man of the match in 4 games of the 6 I played in. I won the top score trophy of the cup and played to the top three finalist. I was later sent to a hospital for a full checkup because who I had my current youth contract with had received a small bid for me from the English team academy I tried out for, they wanted to make sure everything was alright with me physically.
My mother quit her job and started looking for an apartment in England, my father sold one of his cars so we would have the money. He decided to stay in Norway because he had a business there, but was going to visit us often. When I reached the hospital, I had several tests done. Some of them pretty weird, but I didn't think much of what they were trying to do and I was just trying to get through the tests so that I could travel to England and do my best for my dream. I was talked about in the local newspapers and they said to 'watch out for me'. I was described as a 'clinical finisher', and a 'skillfull dribbler with good vision for passes'. My father was so proud that he bought and framed several of those newspapers and because of my low weight and height he called me his "little Messi" (Messi is a short footballer).
The day before I was going to meet with the English club about the contract proposal, the hospital results came in. I decided to go by myself, I figured it was only gonna be some papers I had to bring back to the club and nothing else as my knee felt better and I had been back on the field training. I got there and they asked me where my parents were. When I told them where they were, they gave me some water and told me to go to a seperate waiting room. I went there and played on my phone while waiting for the doctor to come back with the results. After an hour I got bored and went and asked how much longer I would have to wait. To my big surprise I walked in and saw my mother and father crying in the hallway. I ran over to my mother and hugged her, I asked her whats wrong. She didnt reply.
My doctor brought us to the waiting room where he sat me down and told me I had Lymphotic Leukemia. I didnt really know what it meant, but when he started to describe the chemotherapy I would have to undergo before I was allowed to play football again I was devastated. I called my head coach and told him to meet me at the academy. With my mother and father I told him that I was forced to quit to the the cancer and could therefore not sign a new contract.
I fought cancer for three years. I lost so much weight and my height didn't change much, I was fragile, skinny and hairless. I hated myself. I didn't have many friends outside of football, so I was also a loner in class. I decided to study hard and get good grades will undergoing chemo. I got straight As on my exams and finished at the age of 17.
Due to some bad nurse a needle in my back to extract bone marrow tissue went wrong and I lost all the feeling below my waist for 4 months (as if things could get any worse). I couldn't even control my pissing and shitting and I couldn't walk. When I finally had won against the cancer I was 5'1 and 75 lbs. Nothing but skin and bones. A broken human with no desire to live. I had to learn how to walk again, I had to learn how to stand, the muscles in my legs were gone. The hospital followed up with me with a nutrient expert and physiotherapist. By the end of my first year at the hospital I had grown to almost 5'4 and around 105 lbs. I was working out and tried my best to achieve my initial dream of becoming a footballer but I failed due to being physically and mentally drained by the cancer, I decided to let go of that dream and focus on my future.
I was now 5'6 at 115 lbs, 18 years old. Still small but I was trying to get bigger. My schoolgrades were improving, I was feeling better about myself and I started looking into the manosphere, stoicism and positive masculinity. While in the hospital bed I read everything I could and I felt something light up inside me that I hadn't felt since my football days. I wanted to become big, I wanted to become strong, I wanted to improve my self in all aspects and prove to myself that I was still a man. During the next two years I started to workout and improving myself and my confidence while going to school. I never played football again but I managed to get a first class managing license.
Today I am 5'8, 170 lbs 21 years old, lean and athletic with hopes to become bigger and stronger. Im going to law school to pursue my dream, I have a pretty and feminine girlfriend that does everything for me, we both live together, she is studying to become a nurse. Im a head coach of a local football team, consisting of boys ages 9 on the side of my studying and work. I also workout 6 times per week. I only eat healthy, no smoke and no alcohol (cancer was fun once but would be pretty lame to experience twice). The manosphere and Stoicism has helped me in such a way I cant even begin to describe how thankful I am for every man that has contributed to this space. I have a rock solid frame from the hardships I had to go through, nothing phases me anymore and I get the shit that needs to be done, done, without crying or whining about why it happened to me and why I am a victim and have it worse than everyone else. Because that is what men do. And I can finally say without being ashamed that I am a man. Thanks again for helping me become the man I am today, sorry for the sob story, but I wanted to share my experience with you to show that no matter how bad you think you have it, all you have to do is stay grounded, maintain your frame and focus on the solutions to the problems you have, solving them one by one until you succeed. Success is so much sweeter when you have been through hardships. Thank you again.