625,115 posts


So you’ve read the sidebar. Got back into the gym. You start to feel better. Confident. You start approaching. Getting numbers. Dates. Etc.

You think, Man, I like this. Then it happens, things are going well and she hits you with a shit test. AA. Pass. Cool

And then another one. Only this time you’re stumped. Later You go for the make out and she pulls back. Fuck what did I do wrong. You run home and log onto askTRP.

“How do I pass this shit test?”

“How do I respond to this text?”

you know what I’m talking about. Someone gives you a good response and it’s back to the races. And then it happens again and again. And now asktrp is filled with “how do I response ..” questions.

Why is this happening?

You are forgetting the most important thing

Frame. Mindset.

YOU are the prize. YOU are more than good enough. Why the fuck wouldn’t she want to go on a date or fuck you?

You guys need to drill this into your fucking skulls until it’s bleeding out of your ears.

Do you think she is running home asking an Internet forum what to say or how to respond to your text? No she’s not. She doesn’t care or need to, Because you have already framed yourself as needing her more than she needs you by coming on here in the first place asking about this one girl.

“But trengod I don’t feeeeel like the prize”

Well there is your answer. You need to work on yourself until you do. And I don’t mean work on your witty responses (there will be a time for that). I mean work on feeling. Acting. Carrying yourself and most importantly, being the prize.

“But trengod. They say fake it till you make it!”

Well yes. That works. But it’s not efficient. You guys are trying to play in the majors without ever playing Tball or going to the batting cages.

Sure if you stand in front of max scherzer everyday for a year trying to hit the pitches he throws, eventually you’ll get lucky. Hit a few once in a while. but then throw another pitcher in there and it’s back to square one.

You’re skipping the steps.

T-ball (frame). Little league (mission). High school (hobbies. fun life. Value. Intelligence) Minor leagues (confidence. Game/OI. Finances. Etc) Majors leagues (abundance. Self Fulfillment. The life you want)

And then the cheering crowd....(women)

(All are up for debate of how important one is from the other. But that’s based on person)

You’re going to the gym everyday putting 315 on the bar and trying to bench it when you just started lifting. The guy spotting you (everyone on this and the ask sub) is curling it for you every day. And it’s looking like you’re doing it. But you actually ain’t doing shit or the work. The spotter is.

There are a lot of steps you need to take and master way before you are able to smoothly handle women the way you want to be able to and how they should be handled. And it isn’t by running to the ask sub everyday with another shit test you received.

you have no fucking mission besides women

I will not go into the importance on a mission for yourself there’s a million post and reasons for that. Read.

But I will talk about it’s importance with women because most of you are just obsessed with only them

You’re wandering around a huge dark cave with a bunch of women (your dates). Trying to lead them to the exit without a flashlight and a map, or a plan. Sure they might follow you at first

“Hey he looks like he might know how to get out of here” (alpha appearance)

But after a little of hanging around and talking to you. They will be like. Who the fuck is this guy really? he don’t know where he’s going. Or what he’s doing let’s dip. And away they go.

Your interactions have no purpose besides hope. Hoping to get laid. Hoping she likes you. But you have no real purpose behind them. No real direction of how you want things to look.

That’s why when she throws shit test at you. Or your girl or plates give you shit. You come here asking what to do. Because you have no fucking idea what it is you want.

Only once you have a plan of how you want your life to be and turn out. What you want in it. Out of it. Can you really be of any use to not only these women. But your damn self.

So you can come here and continue picking and choosing what you want to work on just to get laid but there is a seduction sub for that. You will never find true fulfillment in that. That’s not what this sub is based around although it seems to be the only thing guys come here looking for. I know it’s easy to get lost in the excitement of getting laid.

But If you’re really looking for a place to better yourself and not just some way to get laid. This is it. Getting laid is fucking awesome. We all know it. But it will never be fulfilling as building yourself as the prize. Feeling it. Not just saying it.

[–]patuloco7838 points39 points  (13 children) | Copy

I’m in the same boat. I have my ups and downs and and facing some difficult things from the past, I’m 40. I guess for your mind and body to accept trp takes as long as it needs so the best I can do is to improve what I can in all areas of my life. I’m struggling big time actually. After such a long existence in blue pill disneyland I can really sense a void in me which makes me feel lost and rudderless. Unfortunately i have a drinking problem that has been getting worst since.When it comes to women I’m really unplugging by paying little attention to them at the moment. I miss the old days tbh but it was purely social conditioning. The red pill lens is the most powerful shift in thinking I ever experienced. I have been approaching once in a while whenever I was up for it but I have no expectations like I used to. I’m grateful for the journey though, after a certain age you will realize that there are natural boom and bust cycles and somehow you have to find the next wave. I’d be grateful to get some advice from anyone who can relate.

[–]Frosteecat14 points15 points  (0 children) | Copy

I don't see how anyone with a drinking problem is going to attract anyone that isn't in the same boat. Keep on working on you and you may see better responses as you progress.

[–][deleted] 14 points15 points  (3 children) | Copy

I can relate. I'm a older fellow myself. I took the "red pill" way before it was a thing (I was a bartender for years. Exposes you to female nature, that's for sure).

I too, have been more or less just struggling to get by. Still. It all changes you. Once your innocence is taken it doesn't come back. Some people, I think, really get messed up for a long time once the pill is swallowed, especially those of us that were really invested in that blue fantasy, and especially those of us who lost a lot through divorce rape, ect.

The thing is, we can only expect a certain degree of improvement. We aren't 18 year old kids fresh from the fight anymore. We aren't moldable putty like they are. Some things in life we just don't fully get over. So I think the best we can do is set realistic expectations and realize that we are playing the long game here and dig in. Each small victory will be few between and hard fought. Realizing we are in this for the long haul and setting small goals goes a long way. Take things a day at a time. It also helps to keep busy, not thinking about things and dwelling on that void we have.

My advice may seem rather bleak, but I would rather have uncomfortable truths than a comfortable lie, and I'm sorry if I offend anyone from it.

[–]furiouszeno5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

The thing is, we can only expect a certain degree of improvement. We aren't 18 year old kids fresh from the fight anymore. We aren't moldable putty like they are. Some things in life we just don't fully get over.

My advice may seem rather bleak, but I would rather have uncomfortable truths than a comfortable lie

The real uncomfortable truth here is that you can improve as much as you want if you stop holding yourself back. You have a defeatist attitude. It doesn't matter if you are 18 or 80, if you want to change yourself you can do it, but you have to put the work in. Yeah, its going to be harder for the older guy, generally speaking, but the glass ceiling you think is there does not exist. You need to get out of your own head.

The old trope of "I can't change because I'm old" is social conditioning and total bullshit. You don't want to change because its uncomfortable and scary, and your family/friends/coworkers crab bucket you for the same reasons.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Sorry to tell you, but we don't wield god like powers. Parameters exists everywhere in nature. I know I'm going against TRP doctrine here, but my whole point is that we need to set realistic expectations, not necessarily that we can't change at all. You get older. Your body undergoes physical and mental changes. This is a fact of life. Such things need to be factored in when assessing your own chances at succeeding in something because I believe in setting people up for success, not setting them up to fail. Maybe when you get older you will understand.

[–]furiouszeno7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

I am old enough to realize that you have a self-defeating attitude, and could be much more successful if you changed your outlook on aging.

[–]PJ_GRE9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy

Work on that drinking. It's tough but you will conquer. Women are nothing compared to fucking addiction. Find hobbies, keep busy, seek therapy, seek support, power through it.

[–]patuloco780 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Women were my addiction and the pain I carry from the experiences made me drink to self medicate. I just feel that I have lost interest for anything really. Whatever new I start I quickly abandon it expect sports. Sports has been a life saver so far. At least I know what to do and conquer that beast. How do you manage?

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

after a certain age you will realize that there are natural boom and bust cycles and somehow you have to find the next wave. I’d be grateful to get some advice from anyone who can relate.

I can relate, mid 40's, certainly drink too much. I would say that it's not about boom and bust cycles, it's about incremental improvement, no matter how small the increments. Try not to accept steps back. Remember the old adage about the house with a large wooden dowel holding the roof up, which has rotted...remove it, and the house collapses. The key is to replace the rotten dowel with a new dowel by punching the old one out with the new. Don't focus on the rot. Focus on the new.

[–]patuloco780 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

You have painted a great picture to describe how you live! When you mean focus on the new, you mean just try out new things in general ?

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

We talk a lot here about focusing on one's Mission....I agree with the sentiment, but see it in a slightly different way. The Internet fights for eyeballs, right? Fights for clicks, and we are surrounded by that, advertising everywhere, and that's layered on even deeper societal programming. I think the key is laying out a Vision for oneself, and using that as a roadmap and a way of avoiding the hell that is created by doing things at the behest of others.

For instance, I'm not a father, but I read advice on TRP that suggested that if you're in a LTR and have a kid, pretend that you're a single father. I think that's absolutely splendid advice. It shifts the focus back to you, back to your fulfillment and enjoyment, allowing you to execute on your vision for how life ought to be.

New for new's sake is not quite right.....we're too old to just spaz out, and mastery is its own reward.

[–]Nocryingok0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

hey man, try Kratom once a day or psychedelics to cut your drinking

you can do it MF

[–]patuloco780 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Thanks man! Unfortunately these 2 are illegal where i live but i will keep it in mind. What do you mean by “MF”? Any other legal substances or supplements you suggest ?

[–]Nocryingok0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

MF = motherfucker heheh damn, both are legal here in Brazil

Sorry, I don't have any other ideas. But there are many recovered alcoholics out there and I'm sure you will find your path. Hold fast to the center!

[–]Auxfite77 points78 points  (5 children) | Copy

When your first impression is hardcore frame and you’re high SMV there’s no such thing as a shit test. The girl is already nervous and afraid

[–]1TrenGod37[S] 55 points56 points  (4 children) | Copy

So on point. And a great point. A lot of women I interact with are nervous I can tell right away.

To most guys this would come off as disinterested or “what did I do or say wrong”

When in reality THEY are the nervous ones. Always frame it as that when this happens.

Again. Frame.

[–]bemore_15 points16 points  (2 children) | Copy

This is true.

I had a couple of conversations I had to carry heavily early on. During them I was thinking wow she's really not that interested in me. Only to find out later she's nervous and doesn't know what to say.

It was the ultimate perspective shift. I could tell the nervous behaviour, it's like they're reacting to me just being there. Fidgeting, pulling out their phone to do whatever. Basically things I'd do if I was self conscious in an environment

[–] points  (1 child) | Copy

[permanently deleted]

    [–]bemore_1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

    Maybe, maybe not. Only you can tell

    [–]Auxfite16 points17 points  (0 children) | Copy

    It pays to be consciously aware

    [–]3chazthundergut20 points21 points  (1 child) | Copy

    The most effective way for a man to become the prize:

    Find your highest purpose in life and chase it with everything you have.

    [–]sneakyboii129 points130 points  (39 children) | Copy

    Holy shit i needed this. I felt lost cause i have been reading TRP for like 8 months or so. Going to the gym for 6 months. Thought i was the shit and that i could get girls but i have only been getting rejections. I gotta work on my self development more, get more hobbies, socialize more and then i will get the women. But seriously. When does it start to happen?, havent gotten any succes yet only tiny little process. I feel great and all but when i do start getting laid tho?

    [–][deleted] 46 points47 points  (4 children) | Copy

    0 to 1 is the hardest. 2-100 are way easier. You get from 0 to 1 by making mistakes, blowing out sets, fucking up layups & slam dunks and otherwise TALKING TO WOMEN with the intent of fucking them. You actually have to talk to women and take some Ls man. They don’t just fall in your lap.

    If your only goal RIGHT NOW is to bang bitches then tipsy gals in the bar love jerkboy muscle guys. I have experience there. Have some fun getting your dick wet till you realize it’s great and all but there’s also other shit to do in life.

    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

    They don’t just fall in your lap.

    Therein lies the rub, they sometimes do. I have about 20 years in 3 LTR's....the first, I gently asked out while she was at work, had a shitty date, and happened upon her a year later in a head shop...the second, I met at work, we started playing Starcraft, one thing led to another.....the third, my best by a mile, I met in a chemistry class, the next semester she came to the math lab I tutored at 2-3 times a week for months...I told her I'd email her something, she said "if you had my # you wouldn't have to wait"...20 years younger than me, we dated for years...all three essentially fell into my lap, resulting in:

    0 to 1 is the hardest.

    And still is, because I lack the Killer Instinct required to Get Laid (the Good Looking Loser has good stuff to say on this). In this world of invisible incels I have had bitches throw themselves at me, open me, interrupt me at work to offer to buy me beer....so you're totally right. Opening is trivial, situational openers are boundless with the right V-taper....for some reason "Let's get a nightcap at my place, I have wine and fancy cheese" is beyond my vocabulary....I do have wine and fancy cheese. And condoms. Which must not be allowed to expired.

    [–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

    They can fall in your lap. The sexier you are the more opportunities will present themselves. You just cannot count on it. Its a fortunate happenstance when it does. Ultimately men must seek out what they desire.

    The rest is on you man. Gotta get past that block in your head. You get past it by fucking up and realizing hey I’m still alive, the suns still gonna come up tomorrow and really nothing bad actually happened beyond a minor blow to the ego. I made it past it myself and I have a hard time remembering what it was like before. I can recount many of my major fuckups that helped me get where I am.

    Just because you lack something today doesn’t mean you must lack it forever. The killer instinct can be learned. Boils down to frame. Once my perspective flipped to “This is my reality youre just a bit player in it” it made all the difference. DGAF about supporting actors ya know.

    [–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

    Yeah man, good stuff, obliged.

    The sexier you are the more opportunities will present themselves.

    But the trigger doesn't pull itself.

    [–]clausternn1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

    And condoms. Which must not be allowed to expired.

    Wait, condoms expire? Wtf? Do they have an expiration date on them or something? I think mine expired. Now you have me paranoid.

    [–]2kez8835 points36 points  (1 child) | Copy

    6 Months in the gym is nothing. Unless youre a freak with genes you're not gonna make that much progress. Keep going, it takes years to be a high value dude

    [–][deleted] 130 points131 points  (4 children) | Copy

    “Chase the crown, never a bitch”

    [–]Xhaka-Laca95 points96 points  (2 children) | Copy

    Indeed, a wise man once said “chase a check, never chase a bitch”

    [–]dontforgetthispw51 points52 points  (0 children) | Copy

    a big part of that is also Percocets, Molly Percocets

    [–]LucrativeMath37 points38 points  (0 children) | Copy

    “The only time woman made a man into a millionaire is when that man was a former billionaire.”

    “I’ve lost money chasing bitches, but I’ve never lost bitches chasing money.”

    [–]1TrenGod37[S] 27 points28 points  (9 children) | Copy

    Well if you’re really at that point where everything else is amazing. It’s time to improve your game. I didn’t say neglect it. I said don’t make it your only focus/first main focus.

    But because of your last question I can tell your frame sucks so. Back to step one.

    [–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat8 points9 points  (3 children) | Copy

    What you need is Game and Status.

    There is much much more to Game than just approaching girls. You need the ZFG attitude, the abundance mentality, the skills to pass shit tests, the being a mystery, the push/pull, the engaging convos, the teasing, etc etc. You need to keep learning and keep practicing it.

    Then you need local Status. It's not enough "having hobbies", you need to be seriously good at something. Something that you're so good at that you're in the top 5% of the crowd doing said hobbie so that the 95% guys doing that hobbie look up to you, and the girls who hold said hobbie in high regard see that "local hierarchy" dynamic with you at the top of it... and then you approach them with your honed Game.

    In both cases you'll need time. Men age like fine wine. There's a reason why our potential SMV keeps growing with age. Game and Status are not things you get overnight. These are skills you hone over many many years, like most skills.

    [–]clausternn0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

    Something that you're so good at that you're in the top 5% of the crowd doing said hobbie so that the 95% guys doing that hobbie look up to you, and the girls who hold said hobbie in high regard see that "local hierarchy" dynamic with you at the top of it... and then you approach them with your honed Game.

    Like what kind of hobbies are we talking here? It's very very difficult to get in the top 5% of any hobby. I've done it in the past, but sadly only for hobbies girls don't give two shits about.

    [–]Endorsed ContributorAuvergnat1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

    All of them. Even Gaming and Chess have women. But you're better off targeting something a bit more active or creative. Any sport, any outdoor activity, any creative endeavour.

    [–]clausternn0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

    All of them. Even Gaming and Chess have women.

    Maybe, but being a really good top 5% Magic: the Gathering player isn't enough to impress any girls. Only the absolute top pros had groupies. I swear, not even like 10% of that hobby is female (and for a good, unfortunate reason).

    That being said, your point seems like it would be very good for hobbies like rock climbing, surfing, and obviously music.

    [–]Sciptr5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

    You’re not alone. Would love to see someone with an answer to help us out.

    [–]look_good2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

    for context, how old are you?

    [–]LuckyRedPill2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

    You are not alone on that feeling bro

    [–]fujimarutakagi01072 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

    Hey man, are you me? Literally same condition as you. However, I am enjoying my life! Chasing girls hasn't been my priority since I swallowed the pill. They will come to me when I am ready. My job now is to be ready and enjoy the process. It's not about the girls, it's about you. Have fun man!

    [–]mattyiceheretoentice4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

    Read the last paragraph again man. It still sounds like getting laid is your ultimate goal.

    [–]capecodchips0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

    You really think getting more hobbies will finally land you a chick? I think it has more to do with your looks, no offense.

    [–]ionforge-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

    Are you going on 1 on 1 dates? Are you scaleting, ofering to go to your place?

    [–]tatakausohei20 points21 points  (2 children) | Copy

    Great conclusion. I think many of us forget that women are lagging indicators of success.

    Women are like grades... you dont chase the grades, they just reflect where you stand

    [–]Jon_Tren_Yin0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

    I love this metaphor, very nice

    [–]zdenipeni 1 points [recovered]  (6 children) | Copy

    Yea most new guys seem to forget that TRP isn't made for you to get a quick fix of pussy. It is about becoming the greatest version of yourself, and if you get some pussy on the way that's fine that's great. But you must never loose focus of what is important and that is YOU and YOUR GOALS.

      [–]antonego959 points10 points  (5 children) | Copy

      TRP is just a tool for you to better understand and utilize sexual dynamics between males and females. Being the greatest version of yourself is only a part of it, not the entire purpose of TRP.

      [–]zdenipeni 1 points [recovered]  (4 children) | Copy

      That ain't it chief, it's the other way around

        [–]antonego950 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

        The context of TRP is really just about sexual dynamics and understanding human nature in particularly woman. Being the best version or not is up to you. It is not the main reason why TRP is here in the first place

        [–]1TrenGod37[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

        TRP is a tool box but when the discussion of sexual strategy comes up. The strategy is literally to become the best version of yourself and not focus on women

        [–]antonego950 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

        I see your point, and I would like to add up that trying to be the best version is really a matter of ones perspective. Some might leave TRP bitter than before and some might use it and try to be better. But fundamentally trp is really a tool for you to understand the law between man and woman better nothing more than that. And I am not oversimplifying the fact that TRP depolyed many many practical steps to be the best version of yourself. But I guess what you take is what you gain in the end.

        [–]king_of_red_alphas30 points31 points  (9 children) | Copy

        Just my opinion here:

        All of this is mental masturbation is going to be cold comfort to some guy on day 672 without pussy. I don’t give a fuck how much he loves wood working or restoring cars, you can’t just fight down your goddamn biological prime directive.

        And no, women are not going to show up because you are obsessed with rock collecting. Like it or not, to get pussy, MOST of us average (not chad) guys need to do a lot of things we otherwise wouldn’t to attract women.

        All this is the equivalent to women hamstering that they wear makeup and heels “for themselves”. Horse shit.

        Look, it goes without saying that you should work to make YOURSELF happy. And part of that is being physically fit, doing something mentally stimulating and engaging with other people.

        None of those things lead to pussy if you’re balding, short sperg. You NEED to develop the skill set to attract women and a lot of it is counter intuitive. You also need to deliberately (and consistently) put yourself in positions to meet women.

        The harsh truth? If you’re an ugly to average dude you are gonna have to try harder. MUCH harder. You will need to have skills and tools that Chad will never ever need.

        This sub should be about developing those skills.

        [–]Endorsed ContributorKeffirLime6 points7 points  (5 children) | Copy

        All of this is mental masturbation

        If anything this post implores you to stop mental masturbating and take the necessary steps.

        day 672 without pussy

        What is that person doing with those 672 days? Every day that you work on what you need to, you close that gap from no pussy to pussy.

        just fight down your goddamn biological prime directive

        Wanting it, without working for it is simply entitlement. If you can't get it you wont have to fight it down, society(women) will do it for you.

        guys need to do a lot of things we otherwise wouldn’t to attract women

        Precisely the message of this post. Start doing those things.

        that you should work to make YOURSELF happy

        Agreed, but as you said, there is a biological desire for pussy. So playing 8 hours of WOW may make you happy, but don't expect it to get you pussy.

        The harsh truth? If you’re an ugly to average dude you are gonna have to try harder

        This is common knowledge, although it is not a controlled variable, mental energy spent focused on this is energy wasted. Focus on what you can control, rather pour your energy in that.

        This sub should be about developing those skills.

        It pretty much is.

        [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

        I just want to push back on this a tiny bit....I mean, I agree that focusing on what you can control is key, but what to say to the guys who will never really have a shot in the SMP, or even the RMP for that matter? I've told guys, you might have to wait for post Wall women, but that kind of sucks.

        [–]Endorsed ContributorKeffirLime0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

        I'll be the last one to sell them a fantasy that temporarily induces some feel good chemicals only to flatten them harder further down the track.

        Personally I think most men do have a shot in the SMP, some are further down the ladder than others but I think being healthily in touch with reality will benefit almost all of them. Only when you see your situation for what it truly is can you either make peace with it, or take steps to change it.

        With work, I truly believe most men could get at the very least something, perhaps not the creme de la creme but something. I think it's all relative. For a starving man bread looks like fine dining.

        I've seen some completely hopeless cases still manage to get a bite.

        [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

        Thanks for the response. We're on the same page. Even if they can't spin plates, they could at least get girlfriends, and perhaps handle them better due to what they've learned here.

        I'm personally swinging for the fences, but I ended up here because of a couple decades of experiences with women, having been in LTR's most of my life, and I still generate plenty of attention, due to good genetics and barbell training.

        [–]Jon_Tren_Yin0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

        Why do you say that some guys will never really have a shot, barring severe physical or mental deformities?

        Obviously there will be an end range of bottom 5% similar to the top 5%, but for the average dude, they are always in the position to improve and better themselves and increase their SMV. It's the mindset you're suggesting that anchors guys more to believing it's impossible rather than making due with what they can and coming to terms that everyone has their individualism which makes them interesting and attractive. Maybe not to 100% of the women, but enough that they're still swimming in huge lakes, if not the big ocean.

        [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

        Why do you say that some guys will never really have a shot, barring severe physical or mental deformities?

        Because there are many physical and mental deformities. The human brain is a kludge, man, and there are some fucking stupid guys out there, and much mental illness to boot.

        It's the mindset you're suggesting that anchors guys more to believing it's impossible rather than making due with what they can and coming to terms that everyone has their individualism which makes them interesting and attractive.

        Yeah, self limiting thoughts are shit. I once had a super cute, and wicked smart, girl visiting me in the math lab I was tutoring while riding out the Great Recession in college (she needed no help....I struggled but got my BS in Stats, she breezed through her theoretical mathematics degree...yes, women can logic, but girls like her have supercharged hamsters). Guys were telling me, "you gonna ask her out?" "nah, she's just being friendly". She essentially pressed her number on me at the end of the semester, and we had a great 4.5 year run....which was almost ruined because I couldn't believe it was possible. I was fucking a 19 y/o at 39. It's changed what I think of as possible!

        [–]person84450 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

        I like this. I think you need both. Part of trp could be considered product development and part could be considered marketing. Both are important. Although eventually if you transform your product (you) to be great enough - it will sell itself.

        [–]1TrenGod37[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

        u/keffirlime already touched on everything. What I want to add to it is. I never said don’t work on game. If all the other areas in you life are good. Then eat your heart out.

        This is for the guys who come here with shit lives. Just looking to get laid and want a short cut to getting there.

        [–]Fulp_Piction0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

        I used to think like you, then I stopped giving a fuck and things got so much better. Less anxiety, easier relationships (platonic & romantic) mainly. You'durprised how little that 'fighting down your.. biological ... directive' attitude makes a difference. It made me take life waaay too seriously which dried up all the panties around me.

        I'm below average height, above average build, around average looks wise, for the record.

        [–]D_Sandstorm14 points15 points  (1 child) | Copy

        Enjoyed reading this post. I liked the example with the spotter.

        I've been working on myself which took a long time to actually happen again. Something that really helped me find out what it is I wanted out of life was meditating. Thinking to myself and writing down what I wanted helped. I still haven't gotten laid but after taking the RP it's not even as big a deal as I made it out to be. Like before my thoughts were to work hard and to get laid as the end goal. Now, I realize how women really are and what I really want. So I'll be working on myself and if women come along the way, cool, but I'll still be focusing on myself and my goals.

        Also, it's never too late to find what you really want out of life and it's okay to take time trying to find yourself.

        [–]Endorsed ContributorInvalidity19 points20 points  (0 children) | Copy

        If you guys want an answer, getting a girl should be a convenience for you, not an inconvenience. If she's in the right place and right time for you and she's investing her time into you, then it is convenient. If you have to go out of your way to chase a girl or to make things happen, you're not doing it right.

        You're trying to get the end result before you've put in the work. Make yourself a man of value before you start trying to make moves. If you can't wait, no amount of RP will get you the result you want.

        [–]dogenes099 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

        "you have no fucking mission besides women"

        I've always found the best way to attract and KEEP women was to have something in your life more important than women.

        Can't get bored with what you can't catch. And women love to chase.

        [–]itsmrpotatoehead4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

        This is a great post. Which makes me wonder, should we create a subreddit where it's more of what you talked about? Like building your life and how to go about it.

        [–]1TrenGod37[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

        I mean that’s what this sub is build around. Most of the tools are meant For that. But the splurge of incels that have came here from it becoming more popular only want the “getting women part of it”

        Don’t get me wrong I been here a while and it has always had a women focus even though we talk about them not being your focus. But it’s now more than ever. The post are getting crazy. No ones reading the sidebar. No ones applying anything. And most of the stuff is being misunderstood. Only once you start seeing questions involving the sidebar and clarification if it. Will you know that people are. And when do you EVER see that?

        There’s a very few new guy who come here and actually do the work/reading/applying and coming up with new/good content (which is very hard to do at this point). It’s always been that way but the numbers have grown so much that the bad is really starting to outweigh the good. Don’t get me wrong I love women. We all do. But dudes just coming here for a handout screaming “me want women. Me want stick my dick in” and are looking for someone to just guide them into pussy.

        That or as you can tell from the comments. We have guys who go. Okay I did step 1. I did step 2. I did this. I did that. Nowwww I get pussy? It’s still all they’re really worried about, there’s no passion behind the better of themselves for any other reason that it might get them laid. And you can tell because a couple years back the very top comment in this post would have got downvoted and shitted on. Instead all these guys are in the same boat wondering. Why am I not gettin laid. They told me if I do steps 1-4 I get laid.

        No we didn’t. And the general message here has gone right over their head if that’s what you’re interpreting. Again probably because they didn’t actually read all the sidebar.

        [–]bonusfruit3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

        If all of this fails, you might just be ugly

        [–]imeannothing1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

        When you will be the true prize for her you won't need any 'good answers'. You just have to have great frame, which TRP can help you achieve.

        [–]3LiveAFTSOV1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

        If you dont make a plan out of life, life will make a plan out of you.

        [–]Random_throwaway_0001 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

        The last gilded post. Great post too, well earned.

        [–]_quote 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

        This is just a load of the same old bullshit. Be attractive, don’t be unattractive.

          [–]1InscrutablePUA1 point2 points  (7 children) | Copy

          This is total bullshit. You're acting like getting laid requires achieving a 10th Dan black belt in tae kwon do, venturing into the innermost depths of your soul and achieving self realization.

          Girls are just as fucked up as we are. Bro, I have so many friends who got laid like crazy being of average height, average looks, no real muscle to speak of, but they were out there all the time in social situations, taking part in leadership activities and actually talking to girls with a playful attitude and physical contact. This is especially true of my friends who were in a niche - guys that mostly hung out in Indian circles, or Asian circles, or dance groups, theatre groups, etc. had no problem getting laid without trying to be 230 lbs at 6% bodyfat. If you try to hit up frat parties and compete with juiced up fratboys while you're 5'10" and 130 lbs you won't win.

          Abs and muscles are a multiplier to whatever social skills and status you have, but you can absolutely get laid without the body. Don't get me wrong, I love lifting and it absolutely makes you more attractive and confident, but people here always make it a 'buffer' that allows them to avoid doing taking the most direct path to getting laid: actually going out, talking to girls, and closing the deal.

          [–]1TrenGod37[S] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

          You’re just backing my point. Fuck getting laid. Anyone can get laid. Christ you can pay to fuck someone even if your a troll.

          Getting laid isn’t going to fulfill you. Again your making getting laid your priority. Do what you want but it’s a high you’ll never catch.

          Let me ask you this. What is the difference between seduction/pua and the red pill ?

          [–]1InscrutablePUA0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

          Sure I can agree with the idea that you should have a mission to be fulfilled in life and that getting laid alone isn't going to get you there.

          My point was more about how complicated you made it seem to get laid.

          [–]1TrenGod37[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

          I’m just writing based on what I see on the sub. They make it seems hard. Not me lol but I can see what their problem is.

          Guys like me and I can only assume you too. Have done this from the ground up. You have frame. You have a mission, you have game. Etc. That’s why it really is effortless. So it’s easy to say getting laid isn’t hard. But for them it isn’t and this is part of the reason why

          [–]fur10us_falcon0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

          If its so easy y am I a 28 yr old virgin? Exactly

          [–]1InscrutablePUA0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

          also i never said it was easy... in fact i said exactly the opposite, but spending all your time lifting and doing your 'mission' isn't going to magically get you laid.

          my point is that social skills and presence are super important and i've seen many examples of my friends get laid with cute girls without lifting but having strong social presence. It is actually harder for most guys to risk rejection and go approach and build their social circles than it is to hit the gym and lift alone.

          [–]monadyne0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

          It's not that it's "easy!" But the point is, it's not the mystery you think it is. "WHY am I a virgin?" You'll find the answers in the sidebar. You've been making errors based upon bad information. You've been conditioned to believe that women are a certain way when, in fact, they're the opposite from that. You need to learn the realities of what women are all about, how they operate, etc., and that information is in the sidebar. Also, you'll need to learn some equally enlightening stuff about yourself, and that is also in the sidebar.

          This is great news! It means that whatever is holding you back is a solvable problem, not a gypsy's curse you can't do anything about. Now, go forth, fur10us_falcon! Go forth and prosper!

          [–]Shoutoutjt0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

          needed this. been having oneitis for a few months and shit just hit the fan this past weekend while in vegas with her. gotta take control of my life again

          [–]STFUIDGAFUCK0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

          Building yourself as the prize. Feeling it. Not just saying it and faking it. Well said.

          [–]thunderbeyond0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

          Mission. You've really nailed it with that analogy of the cave. My experience is 100% in line with this.

          So you improve your SMV by lifting, dressing well and being confident. Great. You bang girls and plate some. Nice. But by banging them you have validated them. They think "yeah now I am someone who can bang a hot guy."

          Potential humblebrag but necessary to illustrate u/TrenGod37 s point. I have plates and they have stuck around because 1 they like to fuck me, but 2 from the messages they send me, they think I'm going somewhere. They see me not just as a hot guy that they can fuck, but a guy who they could see themselves living that lifstyle with.

          Remember that women want to be swept along. If you have a clear path and goal, they'll gladly tuck in under your wing and see where you can take them. Without a mission, you're not going to take them far.

          [–]linkschode0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

          Also another thing to keep in mind. Just because you perfect your Red Pill mind set, you’re just not the guy for some women!

          Think about luxury sports cars. Some people just fucking love Ferrari’s but have no interest in a Lamborghini, despite both being exquisite examples of near perfect artistry and design.

          And because people have preferences, by appealing to one group you necessarily exclude yourselves from others.

          Keep this in mind.

          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

          You guys try to hard to disassociate that redpill is suppose to help you get laid, and nothing more than that. Everything you guys do here is for the pussy... And I am not saying it with a bad connotation.

          [–]buncha_circles0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

          Frame, mindset, abundance mentality, are all the terms for thinking straight with clear priorities. This is called the Winner's Mindset.

          Women want a winner thus we adopt the Winner's Mindset. A winner can form relationships by choosing from a pool of admirers. A winner has something they're good at and demonstrably so. A winner's peers come to him for advice or help. A winner has these options because he worked for them and put in effort which allowed himself to have those options in the first place. Take someone who isn't a winner and put them into a winner's position and they will flounder. This is because they haven't experienced what its like to be a winner enough to allow themselves to act like a winner by default.

          So how does one adopt the Winner's Mindset? By being a winner. Yes, of course, this does sound like a Catch-22, but it's not. First and foremost, winners exist in myriad places all with different requirements for being a winner. This is an extension of the "biggest alpha in the room" philosophy where a person can be an alpha in one context but just another regular person in another context.

          This is where work starts. To gain that Winner's Mindset you must identify some context where you can be alpha. Some examples might be becoming captain of your team (in any sport), being the best in a class or among your coworkers, having the most friends/being popular, etc. Once you have identified a context where you can reach 'alpha' then you must work towards that. And only stop until you have made or have chosen a different path (a different context and goal for yourself).

          Once you have attained that status, no matter how small -- the entire point of this 'context-aware' exercise -- look inward and start reflecting on what others really mean when they say things like 'frame' and 'abundance' and 'mission'. You'll start to form an idea about your path and yourself in relation to others. You'll get to understand the Winner's Mindset because you will have inevitably dipped into it on your journey to the top of that hill.

          The most important journey is to the top of the next several ever-increasing hills and finally on to the top of the winner's mountain. Once you've been a winner in many contexts, being a winner will be your natural mindset.

          [–]patuloco780 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

          I’m grateful for you guys to leave all the comments and I will take your advice on board. My first thoughts here are that I’m in a middle of an escapism path with alc and weed which keeps me in a bubble. I do lots of sports too but I do feel it’s setting me back much more then in the past. I have had this pattern for as long as i can remember to deal with pain. I’m in pain and everything is just too much now. Cooking, cleaning , all the little things just piss me off. I do excel in my work, working with kids but my social life is non existent, I live in Switzerland. I’m spending my time reading about red pill and other stuff but I find it’s just a tough pill to swallow. I sense that the red pill can set off an attitude of nihilism where there is no comfortable blue pill order of purpose but a new found freedom in inside and outside chaos. This is the way I see the world now anyways. I live in a society which is in total decline. Everywhere I look I just see decadence and immorality.

          [–]gbdoragnic0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

          You don't need to go to the gym, you don't need a mission, you don't need to play guitar, you don't need to be that great, just act like a man, the secret is to be yourself, finding your self is the hard part, the trick is to realize you can be yourself no matter who that person is.

          > Only once you have a plan of how you want your life to be and turn out. What you want in it. Out of it. Can you really be of any use to not only these women. But your damn self.

          Blue pill advice, once you realize they want to fuck, and you ask properly to fuck, then you fuck.

          [–]Dawnguards0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

          You forgot the redpill theory. Looks is everything. She will compare you to other guys that are in the line for her.

          Your frame is nothing while dating. If you look good then it matters a bit, if you dont then nothing can help - just see youtube. Lots of smiles, chit that that leads nowhere, being cold, any tactics they dont matter when girl has 20-30 potential candidates.

          tl;dr you are meal ticket. Out of her 20-30guys at least few will look like chad.

          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

          Whats with all the “tren” references in peoples usernames on here? You never see posts about tren but everyone has it in their username.

          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

          Do you think she is running home asking an Internet forum what to say or how to respond to your text? No she’s not.


          She's probably discussing it in her group chat wondering what you meant by 2 dots instead of 3.

          Even if she hates you, she's still telling her friends "eww he's so creepy why does he keep messaging me?"

          [–]CrimsonShiv0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

          This is pretty much the perfect post of what come after learning "Game" to a plateu'd level. For me I could see that further work on my seduction skills themselves were a bit of a prevarication from doing the more laborious work of getting my mission down and building ze PureEnjoyment lifestyle.

          Quintessential post. Merci OP

          [–]JerryLawlerPigFace0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

          The number of profound insights in this post is overwhelming.

          It resonated with me to the core.

          [–]AlmightyPhoenix0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

          What you did wrong: you used TDR as an instruction manual and treated it as the holy grail, completely forgot the part where men have been getting laid without these guides for thousands upon thousands of years and weren't in-tune with your instincts/intuition enough in the moment to save it

          Also, instead of reflecting upon the moment and learning from it, making observations, forming a new hypothesis and testing it to acquire different results, you ran home to ask Reddit, a bunch of people that weren't there, weren't intelligent enough to realize this shit without a playbook and are probably the worst life coaches you could depend on in a situation like this

          EDIT: I stopped at coming here because you didnt get laid and didn't read the rest til after I commented being a smartass, carry on my wayward son

          [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

          Yea.. in the end women don't want a partner. No matter what they say.. they want someone to follow that knows where they are going. Or more importantly, APPEARS like they know where they are going.. despite everything you get tought or want to think. They want to follow confidence. Not build an equal partnership. Hardest thing I've had to undo about my programming because it's really nice to imagine there could be a partner out there. As i get older i realize gay guys are the only ones that find real partnership

          [–]Ohrami0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

          I really like this post and think this post is true because it uses a lot of metaphors and analogies.

          [–]bemore_0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

          Nicely put. Thanks for sharing

          [–]Caspero444 1 points [recovered]  (1 child) | Copy

          You're right I don't think most women are studying up on how to talk to men. Probably a few of them do read self-help books. Overall they have natural abundance due to technology and other factors. It's good to recognize these constant tests. But honestly sometimes it makes me want to just not meet the person. Especially if the date is going to be a chore. The complexity of it all is a bit mind boggling some days. You practically need to be Freud to meet an average looking woman for a beer and chicken wings.

            [–]GeuseyBetel0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

            You practically need to be Freud to meet an average looking woman for a beer and chicken wings.

            I know what you're saying but this isn't true if you're a natural.

            How do you become a natural? Be born it or get lots of practice. Go on lots of dates just for the practice - not expecting anything out it.

            [–]Xman0142-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

            Or side cut all of this and just go no fap....I really don’t give af anymore and only want to smash after like 10 days lol

            [–]MindfulBullshit-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

            You talk too much. You sound like a woman, stop over thinking the dating game. It’s just that a game, relax.

            [–]MisterInspector-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

            More guys need to actually consider Hard Nexting imo, I've seen a few posts on asktrp that wouldn't even be a dilemma for me, I'd just ghost the woman and hard next her. But every dude is different, what might be a shit test gone too far for me might be a playground issue for that guy over there, and vice versa.

            [–]EPGMDAWG-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

            This is what i needed to read after reaching a wall in my life journey of improvement.

            Back to the grind

            [–]wss5112-3 points-2 points  (0 children) | Copy

            About frame, I wanna add some observation. Probably it’s why we don’t want women to get to the top in workplace, in societal hierarchy or so because it’s a waste.

            These structures are for men to demonstrate power and position to women.

            If we hand these places to women, men aren’t going to seek women like that. Women aren’t going to look for men/women from top to bottom.

            No idea why the feminists think it’s a good idea to let women to go up.

            [–]Gingham_Argile-3 points-2 points  (1 child) | Copy

            When she pulls back look her in the eyes and say nothing. Pull-check your shirt like Captian Picard, pop your collar and check your watch. Then....

            Leave. If she asks "where the fuck are you going?"

            Tell her "look, obviously we aren't on the same page here. I have never had to press the issue and nor will I this night."

            When she says "so you just came to fuck" Be honest and close the door behind without attitude.

            Realize you just dodged a bullet to your wallet (half your shit). Realize "the game" was all around you in the moment and you got caught up in it. You blind MF.

            I thought that I would add my two cents for those who actually practice situations like this just in case.

            In my experience, not getting blindsided without recovery won't manifest in a phone call or text message from her a couple of weeks later. At this point it is only about getting laid not saving a relationship that was never there anyways. Hold frame MF.

            Now if you hollah back, softer language is out the door. For example, call her back (don't text) and get a read on the voice. If it sounds like you can "hit" then be real fucking clear.

            On one occasion, I told a gal "listen your calling me for some reason and that's nice. I don't think you called to chat so why don't we meet at XYZ and let me bust a nutt." Worked like a charm.

            If she ain't down tell her to loose your number. Shit after all that money you spent wining and dining? Some type of return on your investment would be nice.

            PS: Don't check the oil without a glove of your own. Purchase new if you have to. Risk of getting trapped is higher the second time around. Proceed at your own risk. Just saying.

            [–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

            What the fuck did I just read?

            [–][deleted] -5 points-4 points  (0 children) | Copy

            It shouldn't be work, like she shouldn't be playing test on you or stopping you from making out it should just happen idk lol...meet my ex girlfriend 2nd time made out simple