625,770 posts


I have dated this girl for about 6 months. My first red flag was the first time she came over to my apartment when she told that she could never have sex again because she just never really desires it. At first she was crazy attracted to me. If I texted her to come over to my apartment she would be over in minutes. We had sex multiple times a week. We were both super happy and everything was great.

Long story short, some crazy shit happened to her family and we ended up basically having to live together for about a month after only being together for a month. I was super helpful to her and her family. I gave her rides everywhere and took care of her little brother. For whatever reason she woke up one morning and decided she never wanted to touch me or have sex with me anymore. We went from doing it all the time to maybe 2-3 times a month. The relationship started going downhill from there. Eventually she just began to ignore me and never want to hang out at all even if we weren't having sex. Tonight I got her to come over and I told her what I expected out of this relationship. All I asked for was to hang out a few times a week and at least have sex once a week. I then asked her why she stopped wanting to have any physical intimacy with me. She told me that it's not that she's not attracted to me ( I never asked if that was the reason) or anything like that. Her reasoning was that she had sex so much because she was trying to get me to commit to her and now that she has me she no longer needed to behave that way. I told her I have no interest being with anyone that thinks that way and that she should leave. Fuck. Yes. I feel so much better.

On a side note, how can I prevent this from happening in the future? I really liked her. She told me she used to have sex with her ex she dated 3-5 times a week. Somehow she never wanted to touch me. I'm a pretty damn good looking dude and have never ran into this issue before.

The scariest fucking thing about this whole situation is that I saw a post on this sub concerning Borderline Personality Disorder. This girl has nearly every god damn symptom.

[–]_the_shape_202 points203 points  (55 children) | Copy

At first she was crazy attracted to me. If I texted her to come over to my apartment she would be over in minutes. We had sex multiple times a week. We were both super happy and everything was great.

An overwhelming majority of the time, attraction wanes and does not reach the level it was once at. Better to accept this as a fact of life than to set out on a quest to do whatever it takes to revive it once this happens again (and it very likely will).

Tonight I got her to come over and I told her what I expected out of this relationship. All I asked for was to hang out a few times a week and at least have sex once a week. I then asked her why she stopped wanting to have any physical intimacy with me.

Read Rollo's piece titled "Just Get It" and "The Desire Dynamic". Women want guys who just get it, who understand how the game works, and they cannot be negotiated into 'producing' mechanically (i.e. spreading her legs) for the sake of a relationship, especially one in critical condition (perhaps already dead, only you failed to read the signs, possibly because you didn't know what to look for in the first place). Truth is, even if she agreed to let you tap that ass a very modest once a week, the resentment would have only exponentially grown with each passing session. Tying together her feelz (or lack thereof) with the responsibility of putting out is a ticking time bomb in the making. This is precisely why we constantly tell others around here to NEVER GET MARRIED, because should you find yourself in this situation within a marriage, you almost certainly ain't going nowhere without getting a serious beating (financial) first (think of gangs nice enough to simply have a few other members pummel you for a few minutes instead of killing you in order to defect from the gang). By the way, there are about 34,896 other reasons to get married, but I digress...

She told me that it's not that she's not attracted to me ( I never asked if that was the reason) or anything like that.

Women always try to save face, even when caught red-handed ("you forced me to cheat on you! It's your fault!") Don't hate them for it, just learn to read them better ("listen to her actions, not her words")

Her reasoning was that she had sex so much because she was trying to get me to commit to her and now that she has me she no longer needed to behave that way.

Hmmm. A little surprising she'd come right out and admit that, but consider it a loud and clear warning shot. You now know what you're dealing with (or dealt with, rather). Anything else going wrong between you and her falls squarely on your shoulders now.

I told her I have no interest being with anyone that thinks that way and that she should leave. Fuck. Yes. I feel so much better.

Good job. I've been there before, and yes, it takes balls to do what you did, particularly if you have little or no knowledge of TRP and could have been colored a typical blue-piller. Things will begin to get much better from here on out if you stick with the wise counsels found around these here parts.

On a side note, how can I prevent this from happening in the future? I really liked her. She told me she used to have sex with her ex she dated 3-5 times a week. Somehow she never wanted to touch me. I'm a pretty damn good looking dude and have never ran into this issue before.

Begin with readjusting the crosshairs belonging to your concerns. Remove them from your dating life and aim them square at yourself. Change the question(s). Start caring about YOU a billion times more. "How do I grow stronger?" "How do I get better at what I do?" "How do I become interesting?" "How do I learn to enjoy my own company?" These are a handful of questions that ought to tower above concerns that reek of "the one". You already made the first bold move (breaking up with this succubus), and a damn good one too. Tread down this path of achievement-based self-love and with enough persistence, perseverance, and determination, you'll never again have it "happen in the future".

[–]sixxstlol[S] 69 points70 points  (50 children) | Copy

This is an amazing post. Thank you. I'm a pretty skinny guy, 5'10 and only 145lbs. Time to hit the gym. However, this shit has to be for me, not to make her jealous.

[–]vagbutters36 points37 points  (29 children) | Copy

You're pretty skinny for your height/weight, but probably in perfect shape to start bulking. Hit the gym, focus on improving yourself, and I guarantee that after 6 months-1 year you'll be netting women far hotter than this bimbo you have oneitis for.

It may sound like the idealistic ramblings of an internet stranger, but I've seen the change firsthand, as have plenty of other men here. Stop thinking about it and get your ass to the gym.

[–]sixxstlol[S] 25 points26 points  (23 children) | Copy

I'm moving on the 16th. I'll be right next to a nice gym. Starting the day after I move.

[–]JohnnySkidmarx47 points48 points  (19 children) | Copy

Start the day you move you lazy bastard!

[–]dareealmvp4 points5 points  (15 children) | Copy

I had made a post about this on asktrp -my lower back pain is a major issue that prevents me from lifting-and only gets worse the more I try to lift weights. I'm just 21, about 70 kg (about 154 pounds) and 5'6". I got various solutions from the asktrp subreddits but they're all very tedious and slow, and it pains me every time I see my fellow red pillers giving so much importance to lifting. I wish I could hit the gym right now, start lifting and feel like a man again... Instead I have to stick to back pain exercises...

[–]CuzcoNOC1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Find a powerlifting gym with a reverse hyperextension. My lower back has never felt better than when I've been doing them consistently. I usually just put in 3-5 easy sets as my last exercise on lower body days.

[–]Manmore0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

this, reverse hypers are so fucking good

[–]SmokeyMcBlunt1 point2 points  (8 children) | Copy

How did you get these back pain problems?

[–]dareealmvp3 points4 points  (7 children) | Copy

It's difficult to pinpoint an exact event or circumstance that led to it, my best bet is it happened back in high school about 5 years ago, when the PE instructor was evaluating us for how many sit-ups we could do and I did it very wrongly in order to make it faster (I was a reckless show-off back then). From what I remember, it was from then that my back pain problems started... Other sources could be my reckless habits of jumping off 7-9 feet at once from walls and on stairs without using proper landing techniques, and wrong sitting postures...

[–]SmokeyMcBlunt0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Man, that sucks, sit-ups are def. not good for your back I know that. So does the treatment you're getting now work? Or did the doctor basically say you will have these problems for a lifetime one way or another?

[–]dareealmvp0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

The doctor has said nothing about it. Can't trust the doc on this, he just gave me a simple exercise without even listening to my whole problem. I live in India and I have a very strong feeling doctors here aren't as good as doctors in the west.

The asktrp subreddit offered a lot more help though. Also have been doing some back pain relieving yoga. Has worked to some extent, but still the pain remains whenever I try to do anything that strains the back...

[–]102117991070 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Go to startingstrength.com and search the forums for lower back pain. Ask questions and read the book. Hundreds of people have had back surgeries, knee replacements, all sorts of shit that became better with proper lifting technique.

[–]suchhound0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Chiropractor once a week, hyper extensions at the gym then when your back is better deadlifts and chiropractor once a month

That's how I fixed my back

[–]Cashews4U0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Stop coming here for lifting advice. Go to rbodybuilding or rweightroom.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

It sounds like you need to see a physiotherapist perhaps a manual physio at that. What country are you in? Different countries health providers have different scopes of practice.

[–]RPSnuggles0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Learn how to stretch. Do you lie on your back and stretch your lower back via your legs? Have you tried a chiropractor?

[–]Donuteater7800 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Couch deadifts don't count?

[–]banginasgard3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Something something best way to make progress is to start today.

Although if you can seriously commit to doing it after you move, it's no problem.

[–]NevrEndr0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Hey Bro,

IMO at your stature you need to get bigger. lift heavy and think about investing in a strength coach that can guide you. Do not fall into fucking around where you are lifting baby weight and not getting stronger week after week. Your goal should be 160 lbs by September.

low reps / heavy weight / eat a fuckton

Deadlifts, Bench Press, Squats (on different days) with accessories worked in.

[–][deleted] 5 points6 points  (4 children) | Copy

Can confirm. Working out 8 mos., compared to dudes in the gym I'm not big at all, but so few men pump that when I'm out of the gym I'm "muscular" to women.

[–]yomo865 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

Gave me a good chuckle. Yes in the gym I'm average maybe more on the weightlifter instead of the male model side but still average but when you leave no 10 yrds away people start looking like goo.

[–]vwolf050 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

where do you live, here in Moscow I swear I meet at least 3 big dudes who clearly "lift" every day >.> Kind of pisses me off to see them. Maybe it's just my mindset of always looking at those above and never at those below me...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

SJW capital of the world baby!

[–]Moneyley7 points8 points  (4 children) | Copy

Sadly, there is another solution to your problem, that frankly I still for the life of me dont understand and tbh, I hate doing. Dread game

I hate doing it because as soon as you do it, your relationship is pretty much over, but it works, ga'damn it it works. So for example, when she started going on her little sex diet. You could've accepted it, then immediately started going out, coming back at night smelling like perfume, going to the gym. She then would be the one that would complain and say "we dont hang out anymore, you dont do anything with my little bro anymore, blah blah." Of course you respond "you forgot to mention we also dont fuck anymore, you trying to teach me some sorta lesson? Cuz Ima tell you its not gonna work, I'll get it elsewhere" Boom! That probably woulda kept her but at this point why would you want to spend your life with a girl that is going to try and teach you lessons? Fuck that! Im happy you ditched her.

Regarding dread game, I do it very sporadically now. It works so good that I dont see a point to it, if you're trying to meet or keep a good woman for ltr. Dread game is the equivalent of our shit test.

[–]HS-Thompson3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

That's not dread game.

Dread game is implied not explicit. You do things to suggest you have other options, you don't say that out loud. Words are worthless and counterproductive.

[–]deci-mator0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

He wouldn't necessarily have to overtly communicate anything, just the going out and smelling like perfume, basically improving himself, will be enough to covertly communicate to his babe that he probably has options. He is better off leaving her to hamsterbate, when confronted all he really has to say is "he's quite busy" Her pussy will get so wet that she will become dehyrated, and the sex marathons shall commence, in an effort for her to keep his interest

[–]Moneyley0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Exactly, but here again, as wet as she gets; when this happens, the relationship is over. I've implemented something similar as you said 3-4 times in the last couple of years. It really gets old. I feel fooled into believing that there is more to women than this. But literally, they give you a shit test, you pass it and suddenly they're all yours again. Cycle repeats? Time to move on.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You'll never stay full. Your bitch will never stay wet. Redundancy is part of life. Eat again. Get her wet again. It doesn't sound like you're upset "that's all there is to women" sounds like you're upset life is redundant. It all gets old. Learn to enjoy it

[–]50pluspiller5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Lift big, eat big, get big.

[–]RaptorFalcon4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I have been lifting for 10+ years, and yes I have a great physique, I am strong as fuck, but I don't do it for women, I don't do it to look good (although it is a great side benefit). I do it because it is a great way to relieve stress, excel, and get ridiculously strong.

It is solely for me.

[–]joeyjojosharknado5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Absolutely. This is what many people don't seem to realise - if you're dressing up, losing weight, getting a nice haircut in order to make someone jealous, you're still a supplicant to them. They're still controlling you and have ownership of you. People do these things to demonstrate their ex has no power over them or that they have 'moved on', but it actually shows the opposite.

[–]102117991070 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Listen. You're in a perfect position to bulk up, but you absolutely have to do it in a smart way. Get a calorie app, my favourite is Nutritionist+ by Kelechi Opara. It does everything for you. Put it on bulk and start a routine like Starting Strength. Stonglifts is fun but you don't get a detailed explanation of form and programming that SS will give you.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Hey man, I was close to your build and height after a summer of rowing before I went to college (5'11", 143 lbs). I put on 20 pounds in 8 months after I stated going to the gym. Just eat a ton of food without sugar (that includes white bread!), and aim for every other day. I started with starting strength, it was excellent. Let me know if you have any questions.

[–]bornredd-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy

5'10 and 158 reporting in, I wish I was down another 13 lbs of fat - I'd have single digit body fat, no question! Bulk that shit up, you'll look fabulous.

[–]Prism_4426-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

You can learn any thing too. You just need more experience.

[–]Forcetobereckonedwit-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yup, you couldn't have asked for a better reply.

[–]whythecynic-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

However, this shit has to be for me, not to make her jealous

Once you start feeling the heady rush of pure gainz, you will realize that there never could have been any other reason.

A few places to start: the fitness subreddit has good information if you have access to a gym, if not you can try bodyweightfitness. For emotional support and laughs, swoleacceptance is my favourite haunt.

[–]kaiwanxiaode-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

The best thing to remember with weight lifting, is correct form. Make sure when you get into you research the correct form and correct way to do things. Sure lift heavy, but slow and steady wins the race. I speak from experience so many guys get into lifting and don't do it the right way and cause themselves unnecessary injuries that with a little more care could have been prevented! Get strong!

[–]markstachow0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Thank you the_shape this reply was amazing! I will read this over and over again.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is genuinely the best post I've seen here

[–]rm_-rf_slash-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Hmmm. A little surprising she'd come right out and admit that, but consider it a loud and clear warning shot.

Right? That was the most surprising part, to me. Most women don't even seem to be aware of those kinds of behaviors, let alone their underlying reasons. That would certainly be my "sound the alarms" point.

[–]Senior Contributorexit_sandman48 points49 points  (7 children) | Copy

I just left my girlfriend. I am so fucking proud of myself.

Replace "girlfriend" with "boyfriend" (or "abusive/controlling boyfriend") and you have a nice title for the 2Xc-sub.

Dude, please!

[–]sixxstlol[S] 23 points24 points  (4 children) | Copy

I am fucking proud. I let her walk over me just because I felt bad for her because of everything she was going through.

[–]sweetleef5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

Playing on the protector/provider instinct is one half of the strategy, the other half being sex.

Those are the only 2 things they can use.

[–]1PantsonFire12342 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Weird. Long ago I knew this chick. She handled things exactly like your ex. But I let her get away with shit because I felt sorry for her. She had allot of problems in her life, medical and family shit. So I took pity upon her and her problems.

Later on I realized that chicks like this play "save me!" game to chain some poor guy. When they no longer need you they dump your sorry ass. And on they go to the next guy who has to 'save' them again. Etc etc.

[–]JourneymanTRP2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Had this before. Even holding frame at all other times with a BPD girl, letting her move in will kill that respect and it won't be long until she's looking to take advantage.

[–]vagbutters21 points22 points  (1 child) | Copy

That's hilariously accurate given the little cute unicorn-land that they've set up for sluts who feel rewarded after they're done fucking Chad.

[–]blackchadthundercock 75 points75 points [recovered] | Copy

and we ended up basically having to live together for about a month after only being together for a month. I was super helpful to her and her family. I gave her rides everywhere and took care of her little brother.

Right there is where you done fucked up bruh.

[–][deleted] 51 points51 points | Copy

[permanently deleted]

[–]TRP Vanguard: "Dark Triad Expert"IllimitableMan9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

You do good deeds, and she will eventually hate you for it. It goes completely against logic.

It's because they conflate kindness with weakness, and weakness revolts them. The man who came up with "no good deed goes unpunished" was probably thinking of a woman when he came up with it.

[–]Saintmyname10 points11 points  (7 children) | Copy

It's feminist thinking. You made her feel helpless. That's why a true feminist male never does anything to help a woman. Down with patriarchy! Up with me having jack shit to do with relationships!

[–]Cant_Tell_Me_Nothin11 points12 points  (4 children) | Copy

No, its as simple as women losing respect for you when you kiss their asses. Women respect selfish men more than they do altruistic men. They see altruism and the see opportunity to exploit

[–]PaulAJK6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

Exactly, it's nothing to do with feminism, it's pure hardwired behaviour.

[–]TRP Vanguard: "Dark Triad Expert"IllimitableMan2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Agreed. Feminism is an exacerbator/catalyst for negative female behaviour, it's not the cause of it. Feminism is this thing that taps into the worst of what a woman can be and ensures it becomes her.

[–]SwallowRP0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

The better you are to them, the less awesome you must be.

Women logic.

[–]Cant_Tell_Me_Nothin0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Best way to be nice to women is when you are sparingly rewarding them for good behavior

[–]circlhat1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

No she didn't feel helpless, you see women only negotiate , they are opportunist lovers ,

would you work 16 hours at a job to get the same pay as working 3 hours at another job ?

I think you would choose the 3 hour job, a women will only do as much as she feels she has too. She will start looking for Alphas if you are too beta.

[–]marty2k0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I'd say it more has to down with the reward to investment ratio. How much does she have to reward you to get you to invest in her. It would take a lot more than a month of fucking for a high value man to invite you to move in with him.

[–]wdonnell0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, sure, but are you implying to never take care of a woman? Isn't is actually pretty alpha to be shepherding?

[–]sixxstlol[S] 21 points22 points  (6 children) | Copy

Yeah, I'm starting to realize that. She didn't deserve anything I did for her. I should have just left her when her car was set on fire instead of dealing with her and her families bullshit.

[–]mirl15 points16 points  (1 child) | Copy

I wouldn't argue deserve vs not. I'd argue that unless she was blinded by some psychotic level of love for you she'd see that you were trying to earn brownie points with beta behaviors.

Which is great, assuming she wants to be loyal and happy with you. If she wanted you to be the father of her children you doing those things would be amazing.

If she doesn't want that for a second you're now a little bitch who should burn in hell.

Gotta love that logic.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Gotta love that logic.

It isn't logic or thinking, just instinct.

[–]8n0n5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I should have just left her when her car was set on fire

Unless you've forgot to mention something in the original post, that should have been a flaming red 'get out now' flag.

That level of excess baggage, unless the car was torched after being stolen and used for other offenses (ram raid for example), IMO spells trouble.

[–]mrbossman123 3 points3 points [recovered] | Copy

Have you gone through the sidebar? You don't seem to understand the basic concepts. If not, I suggest you drop what you're doing and read it now.

You didn't simply do things for her that she didn't deserve. You killed her attraction with the speed and precision of a trained assassin.

[–]Dargalo04-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Beta traits! Sure it won't happen again and cheers for posting.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

He's still hamstring though.

"We" had to live together. No, she needed a place to stay, and you wanted sex. Congrats, your "ex" was just a long time hooker.

[–]Endorsed Contributorbalalasaurus36 points37 points  (4 children) | Copy

You can't negotiate desire. It just doesn't work like that. And it's not something you should try to change for any one person. You work on making yourself desirable for all women, not just the one you've got your sights on.

On a related note, asking for sex (or anything for that matter) is a sure fire way to kill any desire that might exist. Never do that again.

She told me that it's not that she's not attracted to me ( I never asked if that was the reason) or anything like that. Her reasoning was that she had sex so much because she was trying to get me to commit to her and now that she has me she no longer needed to behave that way.

Consider yourself lucky. Most men go their whole lives without that level of honesty from a woman. You will probably never get the same honesty ever again.

You want to prevent it from happening again? Be more mindful of your position in any relationship i.e. remember that you are the prize. Be more reluctant to give away your commitment and never allow yourself to get comfortable. If you always set standards for yourself as high as possible, then you will always be willing to walk away when those standards aren't met.

This is war. Start acting like it.

[–]Ika-0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Hey Ballasaurus, do you know any good link on not negotiating desire? I need to send it to my friend, who needs it.

[–][deleted] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Check out this piece by Rollo.

[–]Ika-1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

thanks brother, appreciated! have a good day

[–]Endorsed ContributorJamesSkepp36 points37 points  (1 child) | Copy

I told her what I expected out of this relationship. All I asked for was to hang out a few times a week and at least have sex once a week. I then asked her why she stopped wanting to have any physical intimacy with me.

One does not negotiate desire.

You focused on "relationship", should have focused on YOU. "Relationship" is her department, she should be pushing for it, AFTER you vetted her over a course of time. Great sex in high quantity is not "vetting" nor does it qualify her as LTR material.

[–]rp_newdawn1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This should be higher imo. Simple solid truths

[–]pcadrian 27 points27 points [recovered] | Copy

Her reasoning was that she had sex so much because she was trying to get me to commit to her and now that she has me she no longer needed to behave that way.


I told her I have no interest being with anyone that thinks that way and that she should leave. Fuck. Yes. I feel so much better.

I want to buy you a beer mate.

how can I prevent this from happening in the future?

Tell future women "a funny story about a girl you once knew." Women always bring up the past, you'll get the opportunity. Speaking of exes, I dated this chick one time. Things were great in the beginning, but she thought that once we were a committed couple, she could stop having sex and basically act like a total prude. I dumped her on the spot - you should have seen the look on her face!!! Laugh, then change subjects. What about you, any funny stories like that?

This will also give you an idea if she's the type to badmouth her exes, and an insight in her character. It's always fun to ask women about their past in a casual way like this, you get to learn so much about what sluts they were.

Last thing, NEVER settle for sex once a week. Not unless you have low T or something, and you're actually OK with that. Fuck that nosense. Every day to every other day is my limit.

[–]trpthrowaway185219 points20 points  (1 child) | Copy

Do not, ever, move in with any woman that isn't family. Routines only breed complacency, and as you discovered, women will use sex to get what they want.

[–]KartagoPill1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

they make rules, pulling out the pusseh card. Basic bitch style.

[–][deleted] 17 points18 points  (4 children) | Copy

You were love bombed. Basic tactic of bpds and sociopaths. Remember that if it's too good to be true it probably is.


On a side note, how can I prevent this from happening in the future? I really liked her.

Correction, you liked the fake persona she put up. You liked a fantasy. To prevent this in the future read up on bpds and sociopaths and what traits they have. It's hard to identify quick but some tells are using guilt and shame to provide favors, lack of empathy, pathological lying, different masks for different purposes etc. They apparently particularly enjoy being pitied and victimized too.

Honestly just generally read up on cunning and emotional manipulation tactics to defend yourself.

In this exact example you would've had to be more cautious when someone was giving you so much attention when you didn't even see the reason for it. You just enjoyed the ride without questioning. Had you not been thinking with your dick (not dissing you, easier said than done) you would've seen that there's something very suspicious there.

[–]1PantsonFire12340 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

I've been reading up on BPD's and the likes for over a year now. And I still have difficulty to grasp their whole psyche. The rabbit hole goes deep.

Why do they decide to chase? What triggers the loss of attraction?

They also appear to deal with AF/BB in a different way.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I can talk about sociopaths more than I can about bpds. In sociopath's case there was no attraction to begin with. They're narcissistic and only attracted to themselves. The whole thing is a play to get what they want be it validation, resources, admiration, favors etc. They decide to chase for their own personal gain.

When it comes to mental health issues and personality disorders I would hesitate to talk about AF/BB etc. because we're not talking about the same kind of woman that has neurotypical brain and human nature. Very different rules may apply and honestly no one in their right mind would knowingly go into any sort of a relationship with a person with these kinds of personality disorders anyway.

[–]1PantsonFire12340 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Insightful. What is the most defining difference between a sociopath and a BPD in your opinion?

[–]1empatheticapathetic-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

Saving this. A good reminder of reality.

[–]Psynaut24 points25 points  (3 children) | Copy

She broke up with you, she just let you think you broke up with her, probably to save your feelings. Breaking up with you and forcing you to break up with her are, essentially, the same thing.

[–]bloodorgyyayyyy 2 points2 points [recovered] | Copy

It wasn't going to be long before she went to someone else; I went through a similar deal. She wasn't as straight-forward as this chick, but she admitted "she acted certain ways to get me to commit and when I wouldn't give her more of what she wanted (engagement; moving in together) she shut down." After only 6 fucking months of dating; and this shit honestly started like 2 months into it. 4 months we fought over that shit. She admitted later that she wanted to have me trapped before I found out just how crazy she was (she had BPD).

She was a pretty big coward who had no place in an adult relationship, but I also let myself get played by putting up with it. Great learning experience.

[–]Endorsed ContributorMarsupian15 points16 points  (1 child) | Copy

  1. You moved in together. Don't.

  2. Helped her without getting anything back, women arent attracted to doormats.

  3. Probably sub par sex. The sex god method is a bit out there at times and makes some bold claims but has good info.

  4. You have to keep her guessing with push/pull behavior and showing her you have other options (high smv and flirting)

  5. Women want an emotional roller coaster. Occassionally you just have to do new shit to keep things fresh. Doesnt have to be expensive or big, as long as its not the norm. Girls are often very similar to children, they get bored quickly.

LTR game is pretty tough. Much easier to spin plates where you do a lot of the above automatically.

[–]1PantsonFire12341 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

If the commenters are right then he dealt with a BPD. In that case the sex was just a means to an end. I've learned that BPD's will basically let you do anything to them. Sex is just a way for them to reach a goal. Maybe they have their own desires but these aren't found in the normal relationship dynamic.

More likely they get off on extreme emotional turmoil caused by cheating, degrading and abuse.

[–]NeoreactionSafe10 points11 points  (5 children) | Copy


All I asked for was to hang out a few times a week and at least have sex once a week. I then asked her why she stopped wanting to have any physical intimacy with me.


This is textbook behavior.

Notice the use of the word "asked".

Why is a man asking a woman for approval or direction?

Once that sinks in it's perfectly clear.

If a man does NOT direct then he lacks the masculine polarity in the relationship and those "tingles" will disappear.

You could repeat this experiment 1000 times and get the same result and this is why the Red Pill is much like science in that we see the cause and effect patterns that exist.

Patterns are abstract thoughts... if you can't think in abstract concepts and apply your understanding to reality you will forever be confused.


[–]1empatheticapathetic1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I'm glad TRP basically is a hard logic. If you just stick to the guidelines like a science things should generally always work in your favour.

[–]NeoreactionSafe1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

But how does one discover the rules of logic?

Rather than "hard logic" I use the term "Rubik's Cube".

The complexity of reality is such that simple logic is usually wrong.

The trick is being flexible and abstract, while also thinking clearly.

And this goes by the name Amused Mastery.

The truth should create an amused sensation of pleasure for you and if it doesn't and is cold logic then you may have missed something.

Be like Mozart.


[–]KartagoPill-2 points-1 points  (2 children) | Copy

In todays society women are equal. So you should ask 'partner'. Talking is most important thing in relationship - ya for women.


[–]NeoreactionSafe8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

This is how you do it.

You make your move to initiate sex.

She refuses.

You then help her with her bags and send her out the door.

No need to ask anything.


[–]KartagoPill-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy

the simplest method is the hardest :P

[–]SeekingTheWay8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy

Your ass just got briffault-lawed.

[–]KartagoPill0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

He ended that u gonna admit it.

[–]1Jax777897 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

Women trade sex for commitment and ressources. Once they are sure to get it, they do not have to pay you in sex.

You can prevent that shit by dreading her like a boss. And to never ever, either explicitely or tacitely, commit to her. It is by the way one the 48 laws of power : never commit to anyone.

I would also add that you made the mistake to formalize your relationship by talking about it. When nothing is settled it is hard for her to say she is out because there is, formally, nothing she can walk out of and she would have to define your relationship in the first place which you can make impossible for her to do by sending mixed and contradictory signals ( I care about us/ I do not give a shit etc).

You were totally right to dump this girl, her role is to give you what you want not the other way around.

[–]frys180-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy

While I agree with most of what you said, her role isn't solely based in giving him what he wants. It's about mutual exchange and her keeping up her end of the bargain.

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Congrats. No so much for the breakup itself, as for the principle of being man enough to put your needs first, and weighing what you were getting versus what you wanted and expected.

You turned into a classic Nice Guy (read Glover's book No More Mr Nice Guy). Expecting that by doing nice stuff for her (rides, help, etc) she'd return the favour (in bed). Hah. Despite the chick-flick movies you've been exposed to, now you know how well that actually works.

You're on the road: have expectations or yourself, have expectations and boundaries for others, and act on and enforce them.

On a side note, how can I prevent this from happening in the future?

Don't expect to win her pussy (and her heart) by being a Nice Guy. Be clear with your expectations. At a minimum, any woman in your life needs to give you regular sex and be pleasant company. Otherwise why are you even there? It doesn't hurt to spell this out to her a few times, either with a story about this crazy ex g/f or else during some of the conversations you'll undoubtedly have with your next gf about other people's relationships or relationships in general. Drive the relationship where you want it to go with clear masculine energy, keep the dread going, be the high-SMV guy that she needs to chase rather than the comfortable doormat she can rely on. Be interesting, be all the man you can be for yourself, and if she doesn't want it then there's always the next girl. Oh yeah, almost forgot... lift.

[–]KartagoPill8 points9 points  (18 children) | Copy

You commitet allowing her to stay with you. Don't fucking ever live with woman, it kills attraction for them.

[–]sixxstlol[S] 5 points6 points  (16 children) | Copy

The worst part is that it all started the day I took her to get her car. Basically some asshole set her and her families car on fire in their driveways. She got a new car and decided that she didn't need me anymore. She swears that it isn't true, but her actions speak otherwise.

[–]TRPKid13 points14 points  (13 children) | Copy

Always remember to never, ever listen to what comes out of a woman's mouth, only listen to her actions. It's the only way to get the "truth".

[–]sixxstlol[S] 6 points7 points  (12 children) | Copy

Yeah, I have learned this the hard way. She has no idea what she really wants. I hate to admit this, but this entire situation is making me extremely jaded and I'm starting to think that women deserve to be treated like shit. The times where I have had them all over me was when I was an asshole. I treat one girl really well and she can't fucking handle it.

[–]KartagoPill4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

You are right. Women are shit, packed in pretty paper.

[–]MagmaiKH4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

... like shit from how you were treating her which was over-the-moon crazy generous.
Having your own limits doesn't mean you're treating her badly.

[–]marty2k1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

That is a very important mindset shift when it comes to making long term changes. You are not a bad person for not bending over backwards to make her happy, just for the mere pleasure of being with her. You are not a jerk for saying "no" to her. You can make women upset while still being an awesome person in your own eyes, because women will judge you not by your behavior but by what you'll let them do to you. It is healthy to have boundaries, limits, and rules, and asking any woman who doesn't care to adhere to them to find the door.

It's just like parenting (women are the most mature teenager in the room). If you give your child timeouts when they misbehave, give them bedtimes, and don't let them eat ice cream for breakfast your kid may think you're a jerk. But that doesn't make you a bad parent.

[–]Ika-1 point2 points  (8 children) | Copy

I have had the same. At first it really sucks to realize this as I am a person that thinks a lot, of the world, philosophy and what not, and I think this is really petty. But it is inherently true.

I had one summer when I really did not respect girls and only cared for myself and for my brothers. I remember after pulling a lot of girls in 1 week, thinking: I thought all my life about girls and now I don't and they keep on coming. Yup, we live in a crazy world

[–]1PantsonFire12343 points4 points  (7 children) | Copy

Its like porn to them. They get turned on madly by a guy who's hostile to them. It's been covered on TRP heaps of times. But a quick example is that it gives them a huge rush- fucking the guy that's their enemy. They get off on the fantasy that they can turn their enemy into a lover. Makes for an immense validating ego boost to a woman- that her looks could seduce this man.

[–]Ika-0 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy

Very, very true. Do you have a favorite piece on this?

[–]1PantsonFire12340 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy

Not really. I never got how most guys didn't know this by heart. Like it made sense to me all my life. Then again that might have been my upbringing. It's difficult to explain if you don't understand emotions like women do. It's like a drama movie to them, the idea of having sex with the enemy.

Women are all about the dramatic set up, the time, the place, the person, the moment. Men are all about the woman- her looks.

[–]Ika-0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

Cuz it is illogical and petty, and we men tend to think in better ways than that

[–]1PantsonFire12340 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

Yeah I think most straight forward healthy men have no idea. Best examples can be found in chick flicks. The main character (girl) always tries to convert some baddy (chad). Goes deeper though, it's about the implication not just being alpha-stoic-aloof.

[–]KartagoPill1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, she is now just another stranger. They 'switch' go off fast. Don't have high expectactions for women.

[–]1wanderer19769 points10 points  (7 children) | Copy

So, you met a woman that has very immature attitudes towards sex and intimacy and shit went downhill? That's no surprise. When you started doing for her, she thought you were trapped in her web, which happens to be just about the dumbest thing a broad can think. Right now, thank the divine being of your choice that you didn't marry this one and take it as a lesson learned.

It isn't very common in this sick culture of ours, but a woman, a real mature woman with a healthy attitude towards sex and men, won't do this. Sex is the glue that holds romantic relationships together, without that, you are just some sort of weird uncomfortable room mates or friends. A real woman understands that need and addresses it with her man. She even knows that a duty can be a pleasure as well.

Congratulations on avoiding this one. She is someone else's problem now. Just take the lesson and add it to the list of things you need to know about a woman before you agree to any sort of exclusivity with her,

[–]sixxstlol[S] 4 points5 points  (5 children) | Copy

I met her at work and everyone was shocked when we started seeing each other. They all told me that I could do way better and that she was too immature for me as I am about 4 years older than her. She is 20 I am 24. I definitely should have listened to them. I'd like to think that I would be able to be as to a woman that is mature enough to have someone treat them well as I was to her.

[–]Endorsed Contributorsqerl5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I met her at work

AT work? Or do you work WITH her?

Remember - don't shit where you eat. i.e. don't date co-workers

[–][deleted] 0 points0 points | Copy

[permanently deleted]

[–]Haramir 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy

The whole ( Too immature for you is pure women bullshit) i dated a girl 6 years younger than me with a really nice body. I broke up with her because she happened to be crazy, but everyone around telling me they told me so before were just jealous. Women my age and men because i had a new 18 year old girlfriend.

[–]OilyB0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

"duty can be a pleasure as well"

Thanks for that sentence, bud.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

how can I prevent this from happening in the future?

You can't! And you should really stop thinking that way, you did nothing wrong, quite the opposite you were a great guy to her; she is just the way it is.

Move on.

If you want to follow more closely TRP philosophy you should not spend that much time with your girlfriend or plate, and have more of your own life pursuing your career and interests.

[–]KartagoPill1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Reality is hard. Gotta keep moving on.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

That's a good way to put it.

Another way is to realize that reality is what it is, reality. To me TRP showed me reality. Each one of us can read about the basic concepts of TRP philosophy and then go out there and see for ourselves, even do some tests to see if the reality presented by TRP is correct or otherwise.

Reality is reality, hard data. Deal with it accordingly, and keep moving forward!

[–]absolucion2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Congratulations. You know what you want and you're not wasting time with a woman who is unable & unwilling to meet your basic needs. Despite all you did for her, she'll find new and interesting ways of spinning this and putting the failure of the relation solely on you.

She gave you the answer for how to avoid this in the future. Don't commit. The moment you do, they flip a switch and their tingles are gone.

[–]KartagoPill1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

yes they flip a switch and their tingles are gone. The way it is. Nothing to do about it. New girl.

[–]flatox4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

And you fucking should be proud. Good job. Now analyze the situation you sat in, and make notes in your head what not to do in the future, like being her and her familys servant.

But good on you for putting your foot down.

[–]NietzscheExplosion4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

You got a 6 month perfect example of Red Pill. Most men have to go through the whole 7 year cycle. You saved more than 6 years of B.S AND No divorce rape. You sir are blessed.

[–]Senior EndorsedMattyAnon5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy

I then asked her why she stopped wanting to have any physical intimacy with me

You cannot negotiate attraction. There isn't any point in even asking - women simply do not know why they aren't attracted any more.

In some cases (and this sounds like one of them) they're super attracted to a man they don't have, and repelled by a man who has committed to them. It happens. They rationalise it later.

On a side note, how can I prevent this from happening in the future?

Don't commit. Basically you can't prevent it, but you can keep your options open. And you should.

Borderline Personality Disorder. This girl has nearly every god damn symptom.

Any signs of BPD are a fucking no no. This is the one that ends up boiling your bunnies. Run fast, run far, do not touch one of these again.

Chances are you won't be in the situation again. Once you wake up, it tends to stop happening.

[–]IronMeltsinmyHands3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

She told you "it's not that I'm not attracted to you," did she? I'm still baffled at the bullshit women wear on their face.

She wasn't attracted to you. Why, then, did she need to lie about it?

Shit like this, gets me every time.

She paraded the reason in your face, and then wrote on it, that is totally not it.

This serves as evidence, that women are liars, and the only way to win when gaming bitches, is to see them as liars, and do the opposite of what they want, listen to what the say, but hear the opposite of what they say.

Common sense, is still, a prerequisite.

[–]1PantsonFire12340 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That's emotional abuse right there- gas lighting. She wants to break him because that's what Crazy does.

[–]KartagoPill0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Because lies are funny. Really she just wanted to have a sucker. BetaBitch.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Remember, to attract the Feminine, you have to be Masculine.

Part of being Masculine is being separate. You lost your separateness, and your masculine polarity, when you two saw each other all the time.

[–]plein_old3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

You can't make a borderline a housewife

at least not without killing yourself on the inside

[–]melb221 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

As someone with a borderline ex-wife, this could possibly be a borderline symptom, though it's not enough by itself to really say. Borderlines find it difficult to connect the act of sex itself to emotional intimacy. They seem to have two modes. Either they will commit to having sex, and they can do the "sex to get off" thing quite well and be impressive at that level, but it never leads to a sense of two people connecting; or else they find the idea of sex with the person they are with repulsive and want a kind of romantically platonic relationship.

Honestly, you should be proud for leaving your girlfriend. A difficult thing to do but much better in the long run. If she doesn't really want to have sex with you, even if she agreed to for the sake of the relationship it would have bred resentments that would have surfaced eventually. Also, you're better off with a woman who is sexually intelligent enough to be able to meet you half way - that's how the best kind of sex happens. Young men often undersell themselves and what they have to offer - keep working on developing yourself, build up your confidence and keep actively looking for someone who genuinely wants to build a relationship with you, including being your sex mate.

[–]1PantsonFire12340 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Correct me here but I've concluded that bpds have sex to achieve goals. They fuck you as not to abandon them. If they don't feel affraid to lose you anymore that desire to fuck goes away. That's why you get the love bombing in the beginning- they want to fuck your brains out to get you to commit.

[–]ChrisBenRoy1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Your story up until the break up was almost identical to my last LTR that led me here. Like, scary how similar.

[–]Endorsed Contributorbogeyd61 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I was super helpful to her and her family. I gave her rides everywhere and took care of her little brother.

Choreplay is never attractive. The more you help her with her errands/problems the less she respects you. Then you really fucked it up because you tried to negotiate attraction. How did that work out for you champ? In the future, you may want to act like a man. Be attractive, don't engage choreplay, and make women the lesser part of your life.


You are not a psychiatrist.

[–]kanevast1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Dude, she's nuts.

Attraction does fade over time as it's mainly based around your brain creating dopamine and possibly serotonin, it's replaced by companionship (read: Pair bond).

Your girl sounds just coldly manipulative, i.e do x thing to get x result, achieved x result stop x thing, switch to next plan....

It's great you've gotten out of it.

Go and find a girl who is amazing and makes you super happy, good luck!

[–]MrTooSuperCool1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

"Her reasoning was that she had sex so much because she was trying to get me to commit to her and now that she has me she no longer needed to behave that way."

FFS, she actually said this straight to your face? In other words "I thought I was permanently entitled to your resources since I let you fuck me a few times". Let this be a fine example of why the phrase AWALT is thrown around so judiciously on this forum. Good on you for cutting the whole thing loose.

[–]deci-mator1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Never let em get too comfortable bro, she got used to you. She no longer saw the need to work and please you because she assumed she now had you. It's a good thing you let that bitch go, she already started regulating your sex, what was next, your spending, going out, meeting friends.?

Also these hoes, they need to know that you are highly valued by other women. It turns them on to know that other women wanna bang you. Gives them that competition anxiety (which is very essential for all relationships). Another key point to remember is once you become exclusive with a plate, you lose a degree of your power.

One more thing to remember is fine girls are a dime a dozen. So the moment you see a red flag, NEXT A BITCH

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Attraction can naturally reduce... Humans attraction cannot last forever. Check out the article here. I wrote that ages ago when I took a hiatus from content. It should explain some truths.

If you cannot enable dread a woman will not be attracted to you. Fullstop. You should have been out of that relationship years ago. Read this article I wrote on break-ups - see if you can find the signs that the woman was not into you anymore. Link here.

Good luck dude, but you need to do some reading up and not forget what you learned when you go about living your life.

[–]OilyB0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Replying to be able to return here.

[–]forcevacum0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

If you dated a girl for 6 months she is not your girlfriend. I've plated girls for longer and never met any of their family members.

[–]its-iceman1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I mean he basically let her move in after a month. Regardless I think he learned a lot from this chick. Overall a good thing it happened to him.

[–]omgwtfidk890 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

To prevent that from happening don't help the next one like that and be clear from the start about want you want if she can't get with it she not worth getting with.

[–]doveenigma130 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You made her feel that she had you and didn't need to have sex to keep you.

[–]1PantsonFire12340 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

This bitch been Alpha Widowed, 100%er.

[–]rpnrch0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Sex is currency to her. She no longer needed to 'spend' it to get what she wanted from you.

[–]yallapapi0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Bro she did you a favor by being honest with you and giving you that exit route.

In my experience the best antidote is to date more women for a shorter period of time so they feel "disposable" to you and you won't get attached to any single one and develop feelings.

[–]RPmatrix0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The scariest fucking thing about this whole situation is that I saw a post on this sub concerning Borderline Personality Disorder.

Bro, If she's BPD you'd better cover your arse!

what was her reaction to you telling her to go?

[–]Cptn_Jib0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Eh, I'd say that even if sex decreases in most relationships what happened to you is an anomaly. Also in healthy relationships where there is love from both parties sex doesn't decrease by much at all

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Psychology student here. Want a girl to be attracted to you? Stop acting like her slave, there is nothing more unattractive than that. Mot of the time, the person doing the favor is the one who is getting more and more attracted to the other. As weird as it may sound, all the help you gave her played against you. All in moderation my friend.

[–]RedMagnus0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If her name was Vanessa then you got off easy

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You cannot prevent this behavior from women in the future. The only thing you can do is avoid commiting to women like this or simply dump them if you become unhappy with your end of the deal in the relationship.

[–]Spartacats0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good stuff man. My last relationship was a nightmare she was back and forth like crazy. I stayed because I hoped things would get better but ofcorse they didn't. I just ended being her dog while she was in love with another guy. One night we got drunk, after a few hours of her being obnoxious as usual she passed out. I had decided I was done waited a few hours till I was sober got all my things and never looked back.

[–]Jedi52410000 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Good for you! Hopefully just the start in turning your life around

[–]2 Senior Endorsed Contributorvengefully_yours0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You were nice, helpful, took care of her brother, drove her around.

I do that shit to get rid of a psycho bitch. If I want to keep fucking them, they don't get a damn thing from me other than my cock.

[–]TheOneWhoEatsShit0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I had a girl who would come over and suck me off in the mornings. She only did it to make me like her. I've had women claim they had sex with people (not me) so there wasn't a very minor awkward situation, essentially raping themselves. They're stupid. They really don't think that shit through.

[–]jonseagull0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Had a Borderline Personality girlfriend that pulled this exact same stunt. Then she did it to the next guy, and the next guy, and the next guy. And all the guys before. They have problems forming attachments. It's a giant internal push/pull that makes them want mutually in-exclusive things. Sadly they leave a wake of destruction throughout their lives due to this. The worst part is that, like all of us, as adults we figure out what our problems are and attempt to fix them or at least cope. BPD chicks don't seem to give a fuck.

[–]Ecoaardvark0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

If they tell you how many times they used to have sex with an ex partner you should take that as a massive red flag. An ex of mine used to tell me how her and her previous partner would do it three times a day. I ended up having sex with her maybe half a dozen times in six months before she ended it.

[–]1kick60 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

The audacity of modern girls thinking they can actually tell you the ran a pussy trap on you. Pretty ridiculous.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

I was super helpful to her and her family. I gave her rides everywhere and took care of her little brother.

The simple answer is not to commit. You lost frame and moved into hers.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You stopped being alpha and turned into the provider. A woman uses sex as a means to an end. She got what she wanted out of you (commitment) and lost her desire/respect for you as a man.

[–]tolerantman0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Well at least she was honest about it, that's saying a lot.

[–]Heyokalol0 points1 point  (19 children) | Copy

Well done man. How was the sex at first anyway ? Maybe you need to step up your game in the bedroom and be more dominating. The day you stop cumming on her face is the day you become passive.

[–]sixxstlol[S] 2 points3 points  (18 children) | Copy

Haha, I don't think I have ever done that. The sex was good. We were both always super into it. She NEVER wanted to give me a blowjob though. Her excuse was that she used to be bulimic so gagging was really rough for her. I never bought that shit for a minute. The only complaint that she had was that I never pulled her hair or chocked her or anything... I never expected her to say that. I was in a relationship for 4 years and the sex was amazing without any of that.

[–]Heyokalol4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

The only complaint that she had was that I never pulled her hair or chocked her or anything... I never expected her to say that.

That's what girls mean when they say they expect a man who just 'gets it'. They want a man who takes what he wants. You have to lead her. It doesn't mean that you shouldn't take into account what she likes though.

[–]1PantsonFire12340 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

No I think this guy really did stick his dick in Crazy. She's brutally honest about his short comings. This is a sign of manipulation that they pull. Their brutal honesty is sadism in disguise. Saying shit like this is meant to emotionally torture him.

Also, this is a line of thinking I've heard and seen before in bpds. Notice how she didn't tell him to be more dominant, she explicitly told him the sexual stuff she digs. This girl gets off on violence, dominance and abuse.

[–]vagbutters6 points7 points  (5 children) | Copy

I doubt she would've had any trouble gagging on Brad Pitt's dick if she was given the opportunity. Never accept bullshit excuses like that here on out. You want something in bed, you take it without any excuses. Just be careful not to tread the line of "rape" because you hurt her feels.

[–]sixxstlol[S] 8 points9 points  (4 children) | Copy

What was fucking bullshit is how she told me that she appreciated the fact that I would never force her to do something she didn't want to do like her ex boyfriend yet my kindness led to us not having sex.

[–]vagbutters12 points13 points  (3 children) | Copy

She didn't really appreciate it-- she actually held a lot less respect for you because you weren't dominant in bed; in other words, you failed the shit test and became more of a beta in her eyes.

[–]sixxstlol[S] 13 points14 points  (2 children) | Copy

What's so fucking frustrating is that you're right. She THOUGHT she appreciated it, but subconsciously she didn't.

[–]JourneymanTRP6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy

It's annoying for dudes like me that have absolutely no desire for anal and have to firmly state that, less I be classified as less than the great Chad that previously plowed that pooper.

[–]thehonestdouchebag1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I know how you feel, anal is fine, but it isn't as good as pussy imo. Doesn't change the fact that I still do it with every girl I get with. I remember I brought home this 17 year old half asian chicka off Tinder ( was 19 at the time and her profile had her listed as 18, also I'm in Canada so its legal ). I asked her the first time we were going at it in a heat " Have you done anal before ? " , She told me she hadn't, I replied and told her that she wouldn't be able to say that after tonight. She just meekly said " okay! " as I was going to town. The next month and a half I basically used her like a personal sex toy. I'd drive up to her house and tell her to come out, we would drive off into the woods 20 minutes away and fuck in the car. Then I drove her back. Unfortunately she eventually found a bf on Tinder and only let me fuck her twice after that. All good things come to an end eventually right.

[–]fadetoblack10046 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy

No BJ's is not a chick you should date, ever. Just fwiw. Shows sexual hesitation, and you don't want to end up with a chick who has any sexual hangups.

[–]Geckobird8 points9 points  (4 children) | Copy

All girls like it rough. All girls like being choked. All girls like being dominated. Whether they say it or not.

[–]JourneymanTRP1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Rough, sure, dominating, definitely. Not all women like being choked.

[–]adam_varg1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Actually choked as seriously constricting airways or bloodpath no and you would be stupid to even do that.

But slight pressure on carotides or windpipe? Definetely 90% of sub leaning girls, which is 90% of female population.

[–][deleted] -2 points-1 points  (1 child) | Copy

I like hair pulling (softly,NOT to cause pain), holding wrists or arms, but choking?? wtf?

[–]aleddito1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You don't choke them for real. You put pressure on the sides of the neck

[–]aDrunkenWhaler0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Never in my life have I met a women that doesn't like her hair pulled and ass spanked.

[–]1PantsonFire12340 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

The only complaint that she had was that I never pulled her hair or chocked her or anything

When did she say that? In what context and was there more. I've heard that line of thinking before.

[–]sixxstlol[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Her friend was hanging out with us. Her friend started talking about how the sex was with her boyfriend for some reason. My girlfriend started telling her how good our sex apparently was then she said "the only thing is that he never pulls my hair or chokes me". She said I was more loving in bed than rough.

[–]1PantsonFire12340 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

She sounds more subtle than most bpds. This was a definite hint though, but not one to purposefully hurt you.

My past plate pulled the exact same stunt, only in a totally different way. Here's the punch though, I was dominant in bed. I fucked her hard, pulled her hair, gag her multiple times. She went out of her way to mention explicit things I hadn't done.

These types of girls say shit to fulfill their agenda. Being masters of manipulation and emotional mind games. My plate wanted to stab my male ego. And it sound like your ex wanted to challenge yours.

I wouldn't be surprised if she raised this point almost simultaneously with her drop in attraction to you and lack of sex. This is all planned and meant to get you down and force a break-up.

[–]JohnnySkidmarx0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Plenty of girls for you. No need to attach yourself to crazy. The minute they stop giving up the snatch, move on.

[–]scarletspider30 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

U stood up for yourself and your dignity. Your a man now.

[–]TryDoingSomethingNew0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

You did well! NICE.







...but how did she react after you told her it was over?

[–]sixxstlol[S] 0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy

She basically just said "whatever" and walked out.

[–]TryDoingSomethingNew0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy

Wow. Still though, great for you. This is definitely not how the story usually goes.

I regret the times I didn't do the same as you in the past (very different now).

[–]1PantsonFire12340 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I'm willing to bet that he'll get some very angry or manipulative text messages in about 2 to 4 weeks. Guaranteed.

[–]TryDoingSomethingNew0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

You and I both! Along with how he supposedly was the problem, and much more.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy