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Dropped a girl who put me in the friendzone, people hate me for it. (self.asktrp)

submitted by Joeatomic

What’s up guys, I’m a sophmore in highschool and this girl and I have messed around before. However, atm she has a bf and I have tried escalating but was shut down physically not verbally, so I decided to drop (due to other orbiter like reasons too). Apparently she had a breakdown and cried about me not being her best friend (with benefits at the beginning) anymore . How do I blow these annoying flies off of me? They keep asking me why I dropped her and how I should be her friend.


[–]fnordsnord 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

The correct answer to "why can't we be friends" is "we are."

And then don't.

Any time the subject comes up, look baffled and say "We're friends. Who says we're not friends."

But don't waste any time, money, or energy on her. If you're not getting what you want, why should she get what she wants?

(For God's sake, don't EXPLAIN that. Just stick with, "What? We're friends.)

[–]zboo1h20 points21 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

This is the correct answer, and an excellent example of not just an abundance mindset but also a DGAF attitude.

Girls want drama. You can give it to them to make them fuck you, or you can let them give it to you for free. Don't do the latter.

And that part at the end about not explaining - YES. DO NOT EXPLAIN YOURSELF SO MUCH. In fact, tell yourself to fucking speak less.

[–]WideawakeMind 1 points1 points [recovered] | Copy Link

What's the benefit of not explaining yourself much?

[–]EGOtyst28 points29 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is an excellent answer. Think about it like this: She is no different now than any of your guy friends would be. You are NOT going to be hooking up. Treat her like you would any of them.

"You want to come pick me up and we can go to the mall while I look at clothes?" Nope.

No reason to make a thing out of it. Just don't bend over backwards for her.

[–]3chazthundergut7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Pay attention. This is how you think. This is how you act.

Should be applied to many similar situations.

[–]Senior Endorsedmax_peenor1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Exactly. She is trying to get him to argue the point. Never argue the point with women.

[–]MrButtholePoopy1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

exaclty, you can be friends but not have to be invested in her/(dont say the last part lol) when i was in high school i had lots of people who i considered "friends" who i literally only saw in school. you do not owe her or anyone else an explanation. do what the guy above me said, if someone asks just say "we are firends" and thats it. never explain yourself.

[–]Senior Endorseddr_warlock0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

This could somehow be a mini post. Copy&paste his post, followed by your response and some extra.

</end thread>

/u/bsutansalt, lock it.

[–]smirk_addict0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Damn this is good.

[–]rtrtBuck0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Not that I disagree with it, I see the logic in it, but why not answer "no, I dont wanna be friends anymore" ? I'm just trying to understand things a little better.

[–]Endorsed Contributorfnordsnord3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

He lives in a closed social ecosystem. Breaking off a friendship without "cause" is "mean," and it will affect how he is perceived in the social gestalt.

Worse, it will give the impression that all he was interested in was pussy, and when he was denied that, he got all butthurt. And looking butthurt over pussy lowers SMV.

[–]rtrtBuck0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Makes perfect sense, thanks!

[–]redd_reality14 points15 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

The master is upset her slave is taking off his mental shackles and deciding he isn't going to be her slave anymore.

Society, and even your friend circle shames beta boy slaves into remaining slaves.

How do you deal with those who would shame you back into your shackles? Shame them. Tell them they're over stepping their bounds. You decide how people treat you and you decide if you want others advice.

If you let people they will tell you exactly how to live.

Put your boot on their neck and tell them how to live once in a while.

[–]MrButtholePoopy-3 points-2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

what happened to you?"

[–]redd_reality4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I got woke, son.

Edit: The boot on the neck was a metaphor, btw. I mean, use cunning the way everyone else uses it.

[–]MillionaireSexbomb0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

He’s right, this is what you have to do, especially if you don’t want to deal with continued nonsense

[–]Merwebb7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

She is being you asking why no more sex.

You did not get closure on the sex stopping, why should her get hers?

She could be using this in order to get people point at you on your "social break up" and get under that cover. People always assume (wonder why) that a dude and a girl hanging out means sex. Now she has a boyfriend and wants to look clean and pristine. Who knows?

As the other dude said, play it cool.

[–]LordThunderbolt2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Just tell them to mind their business and stay in their lane. Literally say "You should mind ur business and stay in your lane. That doesn't concern you"

[–]BestSC862 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Make it sound like you are just being honest.....

You have different feelings about the relationship than 'girl' so pretending otherwise isn't honest to her or you.

I would just say "hey we are friends". But you have to make them understand that she is being very unfair to you in that she wants to get from you what she wants without meeting your needs\wants in the relationship which makes the relationship untenable. Girls do it all the time....they want the validation\boyfriend experience from all sorts of guys without having to provide anything in return...like sex or kissing or other....it isn't fair and it is selfish on their part.

Nobody's fault, it is what it is.

[–]Gawernator3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This explains everything for you: https://therationalmale.com/2012/11/29/friends-like-these/

After her LJBF, you can say, “I really wish I could be your friend, but I’d really thought we meant more to each other than that after so long, and honestly, I’m looking for more. Sorry, but I guess I was wrong about you.”

I wouldn’t use this verbatim as some kind of script to follow, but this approach effectively puts the onus of the rejection back on her and makes her aware of the LJBF as a rejection. It’s very similar to a neg hit in that it puts her into a position of not qualifying for your own intimacy. The idea is to defuse any “he just wanted to fuck me” ideas and draw attention to it as a rejection. The problem with a LJBFs as a social convention for women is that it’s gotten to a point where it’s a default, autonomous response, and not a real rejection of intimacy. It’s become such a useful tool that women no longer understand the latent function of it. When they’re made aware of it, in a responsible way, recognizing the rejection aspect is unavoidable. In a rational world it’s a Man’s responsibility to approach, initiate, be decisive, etc. with a woman, it should be incumbent on a woman to give him a straight rejection or acceptance of his approach. Unfortunately not all of us are mature enough at any given stage to do so, so we develop social contingencies to cope with uncomfortable circumstance.

[–]awareness11110 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

There are no rational answers to irrational questions.

The answer, 99.9% of the time, is NO.

Become impervious to manipulation...

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's high school, people will forget in a week.

If someone actually gives you shit for this, stand your ground and tell them to mind their business and get a fucking life. Any real bro would not give that much of a shit.. Even the ones who are friends with the girl.

Don't give in to her bullshit and start puppy dogging her. Stand firm. Focus on your studies so you can get into a damn good college on scholarships and grants or enter a vocational trade apprenticeship.

[–]DirtyBastard130 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ignore them. It's not their business.

[–]EhzmwGGh0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Tell them that you saw her as more than a friend and it is painful to hang around her knowing there will never be more than friendship between you.

[–]sporifix-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

"Put me in the friendzone" = "Realized I'm a douche and decided not to fuck me."

[–]juliusstreicher-3 points-2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

"Of course I'm her friend. You DO realize, don't you, that she's had a mental breakdown, and is in an altered state if consciousness, and, well, she may not be fully in touch with reality?"

Then, of course, do your best to make her life miserable.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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