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This is more of a PSA than an actual question. I see so many posts here and elsewhere from men who beat themselves up because they think they have some flaw like being short or having a small penis that makes them unattractive to the other sex.

It makes me sad that so many wonderful guys beat themselves up like that. I am attached, not looking just to make that clear. I also want to share some rules of attraction from an average woman who isn’t completely crazy ; ) and isn’t shallow or a gold digger.

The first guy I kissed was 5’ 4” and I was 5’ 7” at the time. He was quite a ladies man too. It was high school so can’t give you any pointers about that. I was naïve and had that intense crush thing going on. I never even once thought about his height until much later in life.

My ex had a small penis. It was probably 4 ½ “ fully erect. When flaccid it would actually curl up and withdraw to the point of looking like a nubbin of skin wrinkle. I never cared. He is an ex because he treated me like garbage and I finally grew up enough to realize I deserved better. I never once cared about his penis. My ex was also pretty unattractive and below my “league”. I never knew until much later.

After him I dated a guy purely based on spite for my ex and raw physical attraction. He was a blue eyed ginger. (my favorite) He was 6’ 2”, was 240 lb of raw sinew and muscle, zero fat. He had like 20” + biceps and could bench press more than I thought possible. He was also dumb as a box of rocks, vain and had a personality that resembles a dial tone. His appeal wore off quickly, very quickly.

Down the road I found a new job. At first glance my boss was meh… He was also married so that would have killed any cute factor anyway. He was probably 5’5” and very balding. We became good friends (nothing happened, ever) and eventually once I got to know him he became incredibly sexy. He was bright, had that dark distant tortured soul thing going on and was well traveled. I’m almost 40 and have to say that he is still in the top 10 of the sexiest men I have ever known. It must have been his level of intensity.

My current husband is the poster child for the nerdy type that gets overlooked by women. When I first saw him I thought…ewww. He isn’t very tall, has noticeably large ears, a receding hairline, imperfect teeth, was wearing the dorkiest glasses possible and was painfully shy. Today when I look at him I see an incredibly handsome man, I mean that sincerely. I still steal glances at him and have dirty thoughts. Somewhere between first glance and today I got to know him. He is the single most intelligent person I have ever met, freakishly brilliant. The sexiest thing about him is that he challenges me and keeps me engaged. He also has hundreds of other wonderful qualities. I couldn’t ask for more. I am genuinely happy and proud to be with him and seen in public with him.

My husband was also dirt poor when I met him. He had a hard work ethic and a dream. Today, 7 years after we met, with some feminine encouragement, he saw something in himself, expected more and makes over 3 times his original salary.

Just the other day I asked a clerk at a major book retailer a question about something. He was below average height and easily 50 to 100 lbs. overweight. The kind of guy that not only doesn’t get a second glance but much worse, the kind that is invisible IYKWIM. Within 5 minutes of talking to him I could have turned into a stalker if I weren’t married already. This guy had such a brightness behind his eyes, was passionate when he spoke and just had an indescribable charisma. There are a lot of incredibly attractive corn fed farmboys where I live. They all have perfect teeth, hair and chiseled faces with thick muscular 6’ 4” frames. In spite of herds of eye candy week in and week out this short obese guy is one of the sexiest men I have encountered in years.

Moral of the story, don’t judge your own book by the cover. The RIGHT kind of woman will be attracted to you. Any bitch that judges you on a first impression is doing you a favor by removing herself from your life.

Every man on here has something wonderful about him even if he doesn’t see it.