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Maintaining frame when plate complains (declined plans) (self.asktrp)

submitted by hashashin710

Plate I've slept with 3 times hit me up drunk wanting to be picked up and have sex. Heres the convo:

H: Dude I am wasted atm but I'd loved to be picked up and > fucked super hard if you are down

H: (my name in caps)

M: I can't tonight, had something come up with work

H: Duck me I'm so bored

H: Duck me until my bill turns blue

H: Please I'll fill your gas just deal with my drunk ass then fuck me

H: Boo

H: my boning cash in points doesn't add up huh?

H: (gif of girl deep throating) this could have been us but you > didn't pick me up

She lives an hour away and I was legit busy with work and wanted to catch up on some sleep anyways. How would you guys hold frame? Don't know whether to ignore and text when I feel like meeting up next or reply in the morning and tease her.


[–]Rexile113 points114 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

You did the right thing OP, one text to get your intentions across, enough. You had work to do and get healthy sleep, you placed yourself first and I'm sure this made you higher status because you literally turned down fucking. This made you look like you're not some dog running light-speed straight for the bone when someone throws you one.

I don't think texting her at morning is a good idea, she's gonna have a hangover and probably have regrets about texting you while drunk.

IMO hit her up when you wanna meet her and that's it.

[–]johncillo12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is the important part, you put yourself first. Women will always try to deive you away from your mission.

[–]antariusz16 points17 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

If you hear any regret from her, it's regret that she ended up getting dick from someone else that night.

[–]Alcatraz-1212 points13 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

you're not gonna get any with that mentality

[–]LukeVTruth49 points50 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I swear the amount of postulating about how much other dick girls get in this sub makes me wonder who here has a cuck fetish🤔

[–]idevastate2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Amen, coming here made me think women were out train hopping on dick every evening

[–]LukeVTruth9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's ridiculous. Do some women do that? Yes. Do more women do that than you probably thought did in your bp days? Yes. Is every single woman out there train hopping dick every chance she gets? No. Every time someone mentions even a slight change in behavior in a girl, its always met with the response "I hope you like the taste of chad's cum". I swear 50% of this sub is closet cuck fetishists.

[–]theyearsstartcomin-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

disliking and wanting to prevent something is exactly the same as liking and wanting to facilitate something

Horseshoe theory is a disease

[–]buttgoogler55 points56 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

She lives an hour away

Fuck that, I'm not driving for an hour no matter how good that pussy is.

Plus sleep is more important in 99% for me.

[–]Livecrazyjoe11 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is the right answer. That's an hour both ways plus Fuck time. If I'm off maybe but work is another story. For my job I have to wake up either at 4 or 5 am.

Don't put much thought into this boys. It comes down to time. Not frame or any other bs.

[–]alphabachelor3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Exactly.

Thots come and go. Your health is your wealth. Take care of yourself first. There will always be other thots.

[–]myfirsttimecoding0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

An hour drive just for me to last 2 minutes? Nah I’m good

[–][deleted] 92 points93 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I would have either;

a) not replied

b) "busy, next time" and then not replied

c) not have posted here and also a.

[–]Endorsed Contributoritiswr1tten40 points41 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

a) is the smart choice. This whole thing happened because of the reply

Drunk bitches are relentless and unbearable. Do not engage.

[–]KillaJewels4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

2nd this. Bonus: her hamster gets rabies.

[–]omega_dawg93[🍰] 42 points43 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

  1. do NOT fuck drunk a/o high females. in today's social climate, i would highly suggest ONLY having sex with sober women... and in some cases, only have sex with them after i have a text msg or vm where she's talking about having sex with me, a nude pic, etc.
  2. getting older will make chasing pussy a 2nd priority behind work and your health. at 23, i'd drive an hour in a thunderstorm to fuck. at 35, that ain't happening because i have shit to do and i need my sleep. at 42, "you want this dick... come get it bc i'm in bed."
  3. you should view these types of requests from women as two things: they are both a proactive statement for sex, and they're also a shit test wrapped in disguise. if she offers and you change-up everything you're doing just for sex, she's gonna wonder if you have your priorities straight. girls hate rejection, and telling them, "no," is a slap in the face of their "pussy power." removing that pussy power from her arsenal every now and then makes her hunt for your validation in other ways... including making herself more available for sex, kinkier during sex, etc.

[–]LazerSpin3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Correct on all three counts.

Unfortunately some alcohol is often unavoidable, but never go after someone who's VERY tipsy (not to mention just plain DRUNK) or you suspect is on drugs.

Changing up your day to smash is never worth it. If she values you then she'll be around when your schedule is more convenient for you.

[–]docent34340 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

omega, can you please explain a bit further about the second part of the first point? Specifically about having sex only if you had text message or picture that implies them having sex with you?

It really struck my eye and I would like to hear more onto that. Thank you!

[–]omega_dawg93[🍰] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

you need to make sure the explicit interest a/o request or agreement for sex from her is there and very obvious... just in-case some bs happens when, "you don't act right."

i have friends who've hooked up with women, who were either drunk or high, and the women either played dumb about fucking or used it to make the guy succumb to what she wanted... or else. "... but i didn't want that to happen..." is the subtle threat.

then, there is one friend who was with a sober woman who later found out that he was fucking other women. they were not in a relationship, so he didn't have to be faithful to her. she like him, and after a few more fuck sessions, she wanted to be lightly choked during sex. so, he complied and left a few bruises; she took pics of the fresh bruises in the bathroom that night. a few months later, when he lost interest (for whatever reason), she said, "it would be a shame if the authorities saw what you did to me that night."

if he did NOT have earlier nude pics and "dirty" talk from her via text message, she had him by the balls... to fuck his life up completely. and it was all because he didn't want to give her the commitment she thought her pussy could attain.

All women are NOT like that, thank god. but some women have the potential to do shit on that level.

be careful. sex isn't worth fucking up your life.

[–]wtfdoiaskfor117 points18 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You were busy, that's that. If she complains, do not flake, insist that you were busy. If she asks - it's none of her business.

That sets a clear boundary, and she has to respect it. You'll maintain frame like that.

[–]cglehosit6 points7 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Sounds like a fun chick. Is your question “what do I do now to keep the plate spinning”? The answer to that is what you’ve been doing: stay your course and keep busy until you want to meet up. Don’t be like one of the 6 orbiters she was texting too and send shit like “oh babe I’m sorry I couldn’t last night”, keep your Chad persona going. That looks like waiting till Friday or Saturday (so she learns you are a genuinely busy guy), and invite her to something fun you want to do: “Dinner at my place, bring wine.” Or “I’m going biking, you should come.” or whatever your thing is that you want to do. I know it’s tough with all the “stay at home” crap going on (probably part of the reason she drunk texted you).Keep it up!

[–]LazerSpin2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Essentially pretend like this stupid exchange never happened.

If she brings it up then either ignore or just reiterate that you were busy. This is such childish behavior that I can't even.

[–]bobthesnob7123 points24 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

H: Duck me until my bill turns blue I subconsciously read that as until my balls turn blue and was going to say her being a tranny is definitely a red flag. Btw You are busy. So fuck what she wants. You need to show her that you fuck her when you want it and you're not at her disposal whenever she needs some dick. Soft next if continues the drama

[–]RivenHalf0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

What the fuck does that even...bill!?

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy Link

[deleted]

[–]RivenHalf0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ah yeah a bit haha thanks for clearing that up

[–]alphabachelor1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Autocorrect. She was typing fuck.

[–]RivenHalf2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I mean bill "until my bill turns my Blue"

...what

[–]alphabachelor1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

My brain was focused on the duck part.

You're right. I'd chalk it up to being intoxicated. Drunk thots are not known for being articulate.

[–]Poopybuttholeman19 points10 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

You should have teased her, but still made it clear that you were busy with work and given her the strong hint that you couldn’t break whatever flow you had.

Just saying ‘sorry I’m busy, can’t tonight’ and then leaving it will make that plate break eventually.

If you want to retain a plate, then you need to strike a balance (otherwise that plate will fall and break).

This is too ‘red pill’ even for this stage in the relationship.

It will peak and plummet fast if you’re too harsh.

[–]TexAs_sWag0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

Got any examples of what OP should’ve said during that convo?

[–]Poopybuttholeman19 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Depends on what her humour is like:

If she’s fun and witty, I’d send her something like this

If she’s a bit less accepting of internet culture I’d send her this

Girls eat that shit up ^ and it doesn’t give anything away and keeps things light hearted

Again, depends on the girl, depends on your relationship, depends on how smart you are and if you are capable of keeping things funny.

If she’s really dry as fuck, then I’d go with something like: “I guess you’re just gonna have to wait ;)” or “too bad, as much as you bent over my office desk sounds nice, this report has a deadline” etc

If she’s that dry tho, what’s even the point of keeping her as a plate?

[–]ihateyouguys5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Gold. This is all pure gold.

[–]i-am-the-prize5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Ignoring is better

  1. it doesn't engage with a drunk
  2. it doesn't cause him to DEER (regardless of true or not, he defended 'why' he wouldn't come)

Q: You know what one version mental Freedom is?

A: declining an invite without (a) saying Sorry I can't, and (b) without saying why you're not coming.

give it a shot sometime.

[–]WolfofAllStreetz6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Seems like a fun plate but man tread carefully with that one. Loose cannons are fun for a short while but have a tendency to blow themselves up.

[–]Noodlesoupe21 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Ignore her if she’s drunk

[–]spartanblood11 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Just be cautious if she's drunk, next thing u know shes going crazy the next morning. rip lmao have fun

[–]axiscontra1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You don't have to be so forth putting. I would have just said dang I wish I knew earlier so I could have planned, and then but the burden on her to visit me. Definitely keep the tease.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Iv already had sex with her a few times and I’m not into it. I’m not in a position when I was younger and sex is so important to me. It has to be appealing to my tastes not hers. Or at least be standard so like you said, I can learn. But her masculine energy makes my dick go turtle mode

[–]The1ndex0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I would have ignored.

She would see what she wrote the next day and be embarrassed.

I would have invited her over another time like nothing happened.

You responded via text, and now she has that for reference forever.

[–]VojvodaSrpski0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

And hour away is way too far for any kind of pussy, if it was 5 minutes might have gone and do something real fast then get back to doing what you were originally doing.

[–]SpiderAlpha330 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Just do what you want, brute force yourself to hold frame and be prepared for whatever happens.

[–]ProFriendZoner0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don't think you need to do anything. You told her you were working.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I'm done with this website. FUCK what are these questions?

[–]PhaedrusHunt0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

She's a hot mess. Some plates fall, some get dropped. Put her in the latter column.

[–]alphakari0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sounds like you don't have a problem yet. If you assume there will be a problem, you put that into the world.

When it comes down to it, problems in a relationship arrive from the woman. You have to let them arrive from her, or else your frame will be too liquid.

[–][deleted]  (5 children) | Copy Link

[deleted]

[–]cglehosit0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Idk man, I wouldn’t have sent “I prefer submissive women.” Sounds to me like she’s in your frame if she’s offering pics and trying to hint that she wants you. I wouldn’t read into sex position preference, unless she’s upright denying you access to what you what to do or some shit. Chicks have kinks, you want to appeal to them so you can master them.

[–]LazerSpin0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

masculine energy

Dude was she trying to peg you or something? What even is this?

[–][deleted]  (2 children) | Copy Link

[deleted]

[–]LazerSpin0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Nah man. It just sounds like you have some latent homophobia if you can class a woman as having "masculine energy".

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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