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124

God I'm so turned off from sex after this. I (20M), was planning on hooking up with this girl from tinder.

So the encounter proceeded as usual, then I went to go eat her out. Damn it was bad. It smelled so awful. I lost my erection after that and left.

I told her why I was leaving. I said it smelled a bit down there and it turned me off. I got up and left.

I suppose that was rather rude of me. But then again, is it so much to ask for her to take a shower before hooking up? Like God damn.


[–]TRP VanguardWhisper49 points50 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You did her a favour. If she found it at all embarrassing, she'll never neglect to wash again.

[–]_the_shape_5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Did her a favor, and inadvertently screwed over at least the next guy she gets with.

Not his problem any more, but I guarantee she’ll recoil like she felt a roach crawl up her leg the next time she’s in the zone and a guy tries going down on her.

[–]thesaoexpress110 points111 points  (23 children) | Copy Link

Excellent execution my friend, you performed wonderfully. Lol tang tho yea you handled it properly, some females jus don’t wash themselves and it’s gross. Also if it smelt bad why did you keep eating it?

[–]pizzaguy57387143 points44 points  (22 children) | Copy Link

I did it for like 5 seconds and said fuck this

[–]thesaoexpress9 points10 points  (19 children) | Copy Link

What was her reaction?

[–]pizzaguy57387176 points77 points  (18 children) | Copy Link

she seemed pretty insulted after I told her why I was leaving, I just got up and left lol

i then blocked her on everything. ngl kinda feels good i finally put a dent in a girl's ego for once.

[–]failingtheturingtest117 points118 points  (16 children) | Copy Link

This attitude will make things harder for you. Wanting to "finally put a dent in a girls ego" is a good way to find yourself creating enemies you don't need. Not a major issue here, but something you should keep in mind.

[–]pizzaguy57387128 points29 points  (12 children) | Copy Link

Nah, so many girls think they're hot shit just because they have boobs and a vagina. No, you're nothing special.

[–][deleted]  (3 children) | Copy Link

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[–]Unfugwitable40 points41 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

In the age of metoo, heed these wise words young feller.

[–]pizzaguy57387119 points20 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

good point. i will make sure to stay away from psychos whenever possible.

[–]RelucBeam0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

It seems like you're the psycho here

Jesus how is this sub now endorsing this weak behaviour

[–]knuglets38 points39 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

Sounds like you're still in the anger phase.

You'll know you've left it when "hitting her in the ego" seems pointless because your life is the only thing that matters.

It's the same reason dudes get bumped into at the bar overreact and try to fight other dudes. Their ego is so fragile that they feel the need to defend it from any perceived slight, no matter how insignificant.

You're literally trying to make a bitch feel bad because her pussy smells. Think about that for a second.

[–]pizzaguy5738716 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

You're right. I'm in the anger phase. I just need time and it'll subside.

[–]andAutomator1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yeah man you’re sounding like a female hating beta, NGL. Focus on yourself and block out all other noise

[–]pizzaguy5738710 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I will work on it. Thanks man!

[–]Illegalimmigrant38 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Can’t have a vagina smelling like a seafood buffet

[–]salezman12-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I wrote it in a comment responding to this dude, but I think you need to see it too. It's just fine to enjoy putting a dent in a chicks ego when the opportunity arises, but it can lead to the point where that becomes your objective if you aren't careful, so be sure you keep your eye on the prize (the prize being yourself) and don't let wanting to dent their ego become the main thing.

[–]salezman124 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don't think wanting to put a dent in a chicks ego when the opportunity arises is a bad thing, but if it leads to that becoming your objective then its a problem.

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy Link

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[–]failingtheturingtest2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, being hurt by "person a" and in turn hurting "person b" as revenge is not being in charge. It's being an emotionally responsive bitch.

[–]clickherebaby0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

😂😂😂😂😂 bravo

[–]Unknockable1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

lmaooooooo

[–]rprookie0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

We talking like it smells “ bad this bitch got some mileage on her” or “damn bitch you don’t wash you ass?”

What does she look like on the scale?

[–]Yummmi19 points20 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Stop eating tinder hoes pussy. You’re going to catch a disease.

[–]pizzaguy5738712 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

yeah im getting tested on monday. never doing this again

[–]ASTRA-LUX9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

No bathing before sex? Ewwww

[–]pizzaguy5738718 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

yeah, i thought that was common sense LMFAO

[–]acoltismypassport35 points36 points  (25 children) | Copy Link

I've thrown bitches in the shower before, no fucks given. I like eating ass, so I want the product fresh. Get her in the shower, soap up her ass and pussy, really get her clean. Then you can go to town.

Obviously I'd much rather just deal with girls who actually wash. But it is what it is.

[–]pizzaguy57387116 points17 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Yeah, like I bothered to be clean, I shouldn't have to be the one correcting hygiene. Isn't this common sense?

[–]acoltismypassport4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thankfully I've never actually been in your situation, i. e.: going down and finding a dumpster fire there. I just put them in the shower as a precaution, especially if we were out all day doing shit. Honestly not sure how I'd react smelling some bitch's crotch jiff. That is disgusting as fuck.

[–]NOnutFOREVA2 points3 points  (11 children) | Copy Link

I'm really curious...how does a man eat an ass? Do I just move my mouth and tongue like I'm eating her out or what?

[–]acoltismypassport2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

It's not like eating pussy, it's more of an in-out motion, or moving it around slightly. More work for your tongue, as the ass is tighter and more 'in.' I love that shit.

[–]PinacoladaSauce2 points3 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

You lick circles around the bootyhole and stick your tongue in the bootyhole. You can also give fat licks on the asshole similar to the way a girl will lick your shaft during a blowjob, i don’t lick the whole crack just the butthole tho.

Always make sure that shit is clean tho first. Finger her while she blows you, then you can either pro gamer move her legs up in the air and by her head if she’s on her back or lick that shit doggystyle. Dealers choice

[–]NOnutFOREVA6 points7 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

HAHA now that's one hell of an explanation but it did make go WTF tho. It's gonna be a hard pass but man if my girl ever tells me she wants her ass eaten now I know the perfect man to do it ;)

[–]PinacoladaSauce17 points18 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

ass play is an art form... and I am Michelangelo

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy Link

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[–]PinacoladaSauce4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

normally we don’t have girls comment openly here but this is literally my specialty and you’re asking a good question so i’m cool with it if everyone else is.

Lube is your best friend. Lube up both your butthole and whatever’s going in (if it’s just his or your finger enough spit should be okay, but lube is always best. i recommend astroglide personally)

Positioning is key. A lot of people think regular doggy is best but you actually need to bend your hips in to open up best. If you’ve ever seen those squatty potties, it’s the same principle

Doggy — adjust your knees so they’re in, under your chest, like your in the child’s pose from yoga. This opens everything up, makes it easier.

Missionary/on your back — same idea, have him put your knees up on his shoulders so your folded up. basically child’s pose but on your back.

Mentality and mindset is important. Girls always tell me they like anal because it’s just letting go, just relaxing and being taken. You gotta get into this mindset of “giving in”. Anal virginity seems to work best in a more relaxed fuck sesh than an animalistic punishing one. it takes professional level butthole to properly handle the punishment. If I’m taking her anal v card, we’ll do some vag stuff first, ideally get her to cum a couple times, before we go in the ass. Then I like to massage her back too. Just get her super relaxed and carefree. Being drunk or being on molly seems to help quite a bit.

Go slow. It’s gonna hurt, straight up. It’s gonna fucking hurt the first time at least. The first time you had sex hurt, first time you do anal is gonna hurt too. Possibly second. The idea is to minimize that pain as much as possible. It’s honestly a lot of fun because she’s just completely given in she just lets me have my way with her it’s great. Usually when following the steps above, everything is much less painful.

So that’s basics - lube - childs pose - relaxed - go as slow or fast as you need

if all of that and it’s still not working, then get drunk and try. Make sure he’s still sober enough to get it up tho

[–]harmonicpinch1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Do you notice any health problems, bad breath, sore throat?

[–]PinacoladaSauce10 points11 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I get pink eye like once a month

[–]the420fuzz1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Lmfao

[–]DrunkOldBear0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Juss rinde with hydrogen peróxide 3% after. You'll be fine.

[–]idevastate0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

what

[–]Escape_From_Betacraz2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Even a one night stand I prefer to both take a quick shower before. Been accumulating ball sweat for the last 6 hours which is nicer for everyone to get rid of first

[–]bruiser183 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Fuck that. If the bitch isn’t even bothered to wash herself for me it’s not my job to fucking bathe her. I’ll just go fuck someone who actually wants to please me.

[–]wyota0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Don't they get offended (apparently not)? Maybe they realized they really were in the wrong and smelled bad. That's still rare though.

[–]acoltismypassport0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I guess it depends how you handle things. I've only had to do it twice: one girl went ahead to shower with me without skipping a beat, and the other looked a little confused. She probably knew what was up.

[–]phe2020pg40-1 points0 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

This is one of the most beta things I’ve read.

[–]acoltismypassport1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

And yet here I am, living life, getting jacked, getting pussy. You however are talking shit on the internet. Guess what that makes you? An alpha LARPing bugman faggot.

Work on that.

[–]phe2020pg40-1 points0 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Dude.You’re eating ass.

[–]acoltismypassport1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You're god damn right I am. If you can ever get a girl in your bed, I'd recommend trying it.

[–]phe2020pg400 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

You assuming I don’t get women is projecting your current or previous (be4 rp ) situation/insecurities onto me. Getting a woman to sleep with you is not an achievement. A former fwb did mention that guys insisted on eating her ass but she was mostly indifferent to it. Whatever gets you off.

[–]Relaxredditrockstar12 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Who cares. There’s a million birds. What’s she going to do tell all her stinky puss friends what you did. You’re 20 nothing should turn you off, and it it does then it’s probably a good reason.

[–]pizzaguy5738714 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

thanks man

[–]NOnutFOREVA13 points14 points  (18 children) | Copy Link

Her self-esteem is GONEEEEEE LMAO I wouldn't do that to a person that I'm fucking but I don't fuck low valued hook up hoes so ya it doesn't matter what you say to a person you're hooking up with. Save ya semen tho bro I'm being for real.

[–]pizzaguy5738716 points7 points  (17 children) | Copy Link

gone? i mean if that destroys her self esteem, clearly she didn't have much to begin with.

Agreed tho. I'm done with fucking low SMV whores.

[–]NOnutFOREVA15 points16 points  (16 children) | Copy Link

OH WHEN I SAY GONE I MEAN GONEEEEE DAWG. Females ain't like us lol they don't know shit about sucking it up and dealing with it. That will affect her for at least a year. I value my semen nowadays unlike a year ago and ain't no girl getting my Jimmy until we've been going out for like 5-6 times. IDC how horny she is, I ain't fuckin that until I'm making a rational decision when my mind is clear. After that, max she getting is twice per week and if she can't handle that...Right there is the door. No porn or jerkin off either bro.

Edit: A year based on my experience.

[–]pizzaguy5738712 points3 points  (9 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, I should do nofap again. Would be good.

Females ain't like us lol they don't know shit about sucking it up and dealing with it. That will affect her for at least a year.

A year, okay lmao that's a bit stretching it I think. How are girls that much different than us (sorry I'm new to TRP)

[–]umizumiz7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Dude's retarded.

That shit literally went in one ear and out the other.

She prolly thinks you're just gay.

A dude who goes on FIVE TO SIX dates before fucking is probably not the guy to listen to about hookups.

[–]NOnutFOREVA0 points1 point  (7 children) | Copy Link

From my personal experience. I wouldn't speak for the masses so my fault on that but from the women I've stumbled across...I'll say a fat year for sure.

[–]pizzaguy5738710 points1 point  (6 children) | Copy Link

How are women all that different though? I don't get that part. Shouldn't that also apply to us?

[–]NOnutFOREVA3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Ugh no matter how I word it, it's gonna sound like I'm an incel so ya but hear me out...

We are taught from a very young age to deal with it and forget it and suck it up and we are exponentially good at it but women are literally sugar-coated by everything. If you posted this post on twitter, the SJW would murder you because we protect every women's feelings and I don't care much because it makes me mentally stronger but yea that's what I think is the main reason. Let me know if I'm just delusional or just tripping...

[–]pizzaguy5738712 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

honestly, that's an interesting point. thanks for explaining! that doesnt sound incel like at all.

[–]ASTRA-LUX2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

It mostly applies to western women in general.

[–]NOnutFOREVA2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I fully agree as I've seen both sides as an immigrant myself.

[–]NabroleonBonaparte1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

You remember how when you were a kid and everybody went “aww he’s so cute! Wow go get’em tiger! You’re so smart!” Even though you didn’t really do shit that was worth any praise?

Well imagine if your ENTIRE LIFE (up until 30) was like that. That’s what it’s like being a girl.

So where as the world stops cheering for men in their teens because you’re grown and need to start working for society, the world keeps doing it for women, especially after 18 because every dude is trying to bang her.

So women don’t live in reality, they live in a playground version of life. They don’t have to build their self-esteem, they just need everyone to remind them they’re pretty and special.

So when you tell a woman the truth, that she isn’t special, it’s a crisis. It’s like you killed her. So she has to put the pieces back together with everyone telling her she’s special again.

[–]pizzaguy5738711 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That's a fabulous explanation. No wonder women are so sensitive. It all makes sense now. We're always told to man up and women are constantly showered in compliments.

[–]rodneyrangerfield0 points1 point  (5 children) | Copy Link

Lol wait you only fuck her twice a week? To save your semen? Lmao, how is this upvoted

[–]NOnutFOREVA0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy Link

Lol yes SIRRRRRRR...I value my semen way too much to just waste it every day or every other day.

[–]rodneyrangerfield0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

When I’m with a girl I blast at least 3 loads in her, Why do it any other way

[–]NOnutFOREVA0 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Nah I'm saying like the frequency I fuck a girl would be like once a week cuz I ain't giving her more than that. No girl worth more than twice a week for me cuz it's how it is. I go multiple rounds IIf I can

[–]rodneyrangerfield0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Lol, why not just fuck her every day

[–]NOnutFOREVA0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Cuz a man needs to control his lustful desires...Haven't you seen how thirsty guys get everywhere...well you don't wanna be one of them. Not saying you become better by controlling your lustful desire but it makes you more disciplined. OR I'm just making something out of nothing and you can ignore it :D Just a food for thought

[–]smhfamswag9 points10 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

why you’re even eating bitches out you met on tinder is beyond me.

[–]phe2020pg40-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I know. Men here are so beta

[–]drsherbert16 points17 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

You shouldn’t be eating a girls twat if you just met her.

[–]phe2020pg404 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Why are men here so beta.

[–]Shitcuckedredditsays3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I've noticed all the good subs slowly become infested by beta leftie shit so it's not a surprise that this one too

[–]hedged616112 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Most women are gross tbh. They don’t take the five minutes to clean themselves before seeing a guy. Makes no sense

[–][deleted]  (1 child) | Copy Link

[deleted]

[–]pizzaguy5738710 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

yeah im wondering if i should get tested now cause she did blow me

[–]3chazthundergut6 points7 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Well done. Always speak the truth

[–]nikcufboomer6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I don’t eat strange pussy. I won’t eat pussy outside of LTR unless box is 10/10.

[–]pizzaguy5738711 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, I think this is a good rule for myself I will adopt in the future.

[–]smhfamswag1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

bro yes, these niggas are TRIPPING. No way in hell i’m eating some bitch ass, let alone pussy i met off tinder.

Only way i’m eating pussy is if we’re exclusive. y’all be eating bitches box who just got nutted in 6 hours prior 🤢

[–]alleyteris1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Dude if she smells like fish down there then are has an infection. Having said that, be careful how you handle these situations , else some crazy female is gonna add you to metoo list.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You probably just dont enjoy the taste of pussy

[–]bruiser183 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Can’t believe these faggots are fucking telling you to wash her pussy for her hahahahaha you’re not her fucking dad if she’s a low SMV bitch then have some respect for yourself and raise your standards man

[–]pizzaguy5738711 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah I feel like it shouldnt be my responsibility to keep her own body clean.

[–]Javares0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Lol, same. The first time I fingered a girl I did a sniff check. She did not pass. Had to get up and dip real quick. I was very upset for a long while. Scrubbed my fingers like they were stained with blood.

[–]pizzaguy5738710 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Man, I'm honestly worried I have STDs now. I'm done eating tinder fish pussy. In fact, I'm never eating a girls pussy again, unless she's my gf/wife.

[–]Ontopsoon0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

why did you go to eat out a tinder girl who you've presumably only seen once LMAO

[–]RelucBeam0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Personally I'd be careful of handling things this way. Word will get around and you'll be made to look bad

Social standing is important

Be more tactful

[–]pizzaguy5738710 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

nah, i live in a very largely populated area and she and I have no mutual friends.

[–]wyota0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

Reminds me of when I ate my ex-girlfriend's Chinese. I didn't know at the time that it shouldn't smell 100% naseatingly rancid. It was physically painful on my stomach and I gagged and almost threw up but I was 17 and she was 22 and we were both pretty inexperienced and I though it was normal to smell rancid. She told me later that she thought I was playing a funny game (ouch) when I told her about oral sex and that Chinese people don't wash their private. Then I thought about the fact that Chinese women use these weird very expensive diapers instead of tampons and I almost threw up again 🤢

[–]pizzaguy5738710 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

That's so disgusting. I relate to your struggle brother.

[–]wyota-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

It was a very disturbing experience and I haven't been able to eat pussy since 😕

[–]pizzaguy5738710 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I feel the same way honestly

[–]boy_named_su0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

throw the next bitch in a bubble bath

[–]Dripsonhold-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Perfectly executed that shits just inexcusable she had to have known.

[–]pizzaguy573871-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

right? why was she so surprised? lol

[–]0uTmahfays-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Brother you did an amazing job handling this. It's not like you were supposed to go down on her out of politeness regardless of her smell!

[–]Nergaal-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

dude what is wrong with you people? do you know how you get throat cancer? because that's how you get throat cancer

[–]travlingsomewhere-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Lmao. You handled it correctly. She was major violating having a fishy pussy.

[–]BalkanChrisHemsworth-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

My ex's pussy stank. I'm talking about Davey Jones locker.

First time I ate her out(she was a virgin), she didn't shave. Pussy hair all over. I stopped eating her out and told her she needs to shave that shit. She did, but it still smelled. I had to get her in the shower one day and cleaned it myself before it didn't taste like smelly booty.

[–]ChanSamdler-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Absolute king

[–]call_me_nick_halden-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

This is why you don’t go down on a random hookup.

[–]Pill_Floyd-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Goddamn that's my worst nightmare

[–]TheRedApprentice-2 points-1 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You handled this well. You didn't force yourself to do something you were uncomfortable with, and you were honest. These things combined made for a significantly less difficult situation than it could have been.

I've bowed out of sex due to stank puss before. Only one time has it ever been that bad. I don't blame you, dude.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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