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Stats: 35, 5'10"-11", 160 lbs, around 15% BF, married 14 years, two daughters 4 & 11, lost a pregnancy at 12 wks and wife (38) refuses to get pregnant again. I travel for work or work weird schedules usually, but my new job is much more structured and the amount of time at home with the quarantine has helped me focus on actively growing the kids more instead of just doing the discipline when I get home.

Lots of background in my marriage that I'll finally have to unpack in an OYS on RPC soon. Generally my wife is much more lenient with the children and their media consumption than I am, but we do both agree on what's age-appropriate, at least.

Oldest daughter (11) loves reading, like me. Reads far ahead of her 5th-grade peers. She was homeschooled from 1st through 5th grade since I'm in the military and we move often, plus I want her to have a Godly education. She left all her friends when we moved to a new state in October and we found a church around late November. She went to public school from December to March when schools closed from the lockdown. This was not my first choice, but only to qualify for a Christian school voucher in the fall, which would save enough for the youngest (4) to do Christian preschool instead of public.

Anyway, my wife got her a Kindle Unlimited account so she could read lots of e-books whenever she wanted. I didn't really intently keep track of what she was reading; when I'd peek over she was always reading dumb kid jokes, trivia and kids' memes, or elementary school level chapter books. She also chats a lot with her classmates on Google Classroom or something, but nothing suspicious or any bad influence that I've seen. She is actively involved at church and works hard memorizing Scripture, and she invites her acquaintances to church and declines to engage in gossip and bullying, so she's somewhat resistant to peer pressure and tends to have good discernment of right and wrong.

A few days ago, my wife brought up that my daughter's taste in media is changing; we can see what books she checks out. She said our daughter enjoyed the first book in a series about a boy and girl growing up together, dating and eventually getting married and having kids. It's trending #1 in Teen/Youth Fiction, so I guess it was recommended to her. I also thought there was a content lock or something for Amazon and with the laws about kids under 13 and the internet tjere would be some filter in place. None that I could see, and I should have checked that first when my wife said she was signing up.

Anyway, I read the first page of the sample and it used inappropriate language (SOB, damn, WTH , etc, but no f-bombs. Still, it's a "no" from me, dawg). Table of Contents shows the story went from elementary school through senior year of college so of course it probably involved pre-marital sex and hookups and whatnot, as the language shows it wasn't a Christian book, though I didn't skim past the first paragraph since I knew I didn't want her reading that.

I had my wife delete the e-book and cancel the subscription, then talked to my daughter with my daughter present.

High points: -You're not in trouble. We're strengthening our relationship when we talk, remember? -It's good you love to read, but be careful of what you feed your spirit. -I understand you're growing up and want to explore new types of literature, but there are books aimed at more age-appropriate themes. -We're created to glorify God and form and fill the earth. As Christians we need to evangelize and make disciples to bear fruit across the world, like Johnny Appleseeds of the Gospel. -The girl in this story is not a good role model (gossiping, obsessing over boys, etc.). While we are single is the best time to serve God without worldly hindrances, so use our youth wisely. -Let me find some wholesome books for you that nurture your spirit and reflect the concepts you learn from your Bible reading. -You read your Kindle first thing in the morning, not your Bible. Where you prioritize your time shows what's most important to you. (Had to ask my wife privately if she was reading Scripture also, as I hadn't seen any plan completions or highlights from my wife in the Bible App lately. I need to be more active leading the family in spiritual meals)

So, I know there's a glut of "Christian" novels out there, but I obviously can't check them all. My mom and sisters used to read those Jeanette Oake books and Amish romances and stuff, but I don't know if those are really wholesome as far as biblical gender roles or just Christian granny porn.

Any recommendations that stand out? All she said is she likes "realistic fiction". (I've also ordered the Five Aspects study for our family, and the preteen girl one, The Jeweled Fountain.)

Thank you


[–]Deep_Strength6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Coming from it with the other perspective:

I've seen enough sheltered homeschoolers go crazy acting out in high school and college.

"In the world but not of the world" doesn't really mean you have to only do things that avoid all mentions of sinning. For instance, watching some of the popular TV shows out now (that have lots of sinful behavior) can be a tool to discuss things with non-believers and segue into the gospel.

I'm generally not against having kids watch and listen to secular stuff as long as (1) they show they are not being influenced by it and (2) can pick out the reasoning on why this behavior is not God honoring and why it often leads to bad consequences.

Teaching the lessons is better than blanket banning stuff IMO. Your mileage may vary depending on a kid's personality though

[–]emperorchiao[S] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

Right, I haven't outright banned anything except things with witchcraft. I often find there are good lessons to contrast Christian ideals with secular entertainment.

I make a deliberate effort to occasionally point out sinful behaviors in kids' media after movie night or something. For example, we were watching Norm of the North: Family Vacation a few days ago and the father neglects his royal duties to text his family and sneaks out to play with the kids while a line of subjects were waiting to have their petitions heard.

Me: "Oh, he's not doing what's right, is he? He's supposed to be taking care of his Kingdom and doing his job properly" Wife: "He loves his kids wants to spend time with them. Family is more important than work." Me: "Oh, is it?" (Did God give Adam a job first or a wife and kids first?) "Girls, you can do a good thing and still be wrong. His kids might think they can just stop doing homework because they wanna go play, if that's the example he sets. There's a time for everything under the sun."

Thanks for your angle! I always get a lot from your input

[–]ChangeMyMindM8-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Your kids fucked m8, have fun

[–]imprecise_melancholy2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Off the top of my head, some books my daughter really enjoyed between the ages of 9 and 14 are:

The Little House series
The Chronicles of Narnia
The hobbit and the Lord of the Rings Trilogy
The Redwall Series
Call of the Wild and White Fang
The Secret Garden
A little Princess
Heidi
Short Stories by James Herriot
The American Girl books

non-fiction
The Hiding Place
The Diary of Ann Frank

These are not exactly what you asked for in your post. My daughter is very into Animals and history and so does not necessarily have the same interests as yours. Plus they are not all christian books. But I believe they are all wholesome so perhaps it will be of some help.

[–]emperorchiao[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks for the suggestions! I actually have a lot of these books still packed up in the garage. Didn't even remember I had some of these!

[–]DaLaohu-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Those last two books are fiction.

[–]ENTPunisher2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I'm a dude but I when I was 11 I was reading the cooper's kids adventures which were pretty legit and wholesome. Think Christian Indiana Jones, but not in an overbearing way. The book series has a "remember to have faith in God, kiddos, now let's go shoot the bad guys" vibe. Probably better for a boy.

[–]emperorchiao[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

That's the first series I thought of. I read those and enjoyed them, too, as did my sisters. Some stories even had the daughter as the main character.

Thank you. I'm hoping for a few more recommendations so I have a wealth of choices available for my kids in case one particular series isn't up their alley.

[–]UpTanks2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

My Sisters all adored Lord of the Rings and Narnia - I'm sure you know the authors and their beliefs.

However when it comes to entertainment in general, its best to have boundaries but also not being ultra authoritarian about it. No child responds positively to heavily enforced boundaries around media. They will just rebel against them secretly (creating a cycle of distrust that eventually leads to a toxic relationship with their parents).

The aim is to guide your children to the light, not treat them as criminals in a correctional facility; forcing them from point A to point B.

They will rebel, they will sin. They way you react to this, more so than the boundaries themselves, will be what guide them the most.

My parents had a harsh reaction to me watching porn when I was younger, and you might think reasonably so as it's a terrible thing to fall into. But a male teenager is eventually going to watch porn, and that's what I did.

[–]DaLaohu1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

https://www.marshahublerauthor.com/

I believe her books are targeted to teen girls. Her book series is called Keystone Stables.

[–]emperorchiao[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks! I'll check them out

[–]RedPillWonder1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

All she said is she likes "realistic fiction"

Didn't Rush Limbaugh write some children's historical fiction books? Rush Revere or something. It's not going to fall into "realistic fiction" though since it's like a time travel adventure back into history with a talking horse.

Here's a compilation of children's fiction, with some titles and authors that haven't been mentioned here yet, and plenty that have.

List 1

Little Pilgrim's Progress

Meet the Glimmer Girls / FaithGirlz

Adventure/fiction but not realistic

Edit: I can't vouch for any of these (except for Pilgrim's Progress), but they may be worth checking out.

[–]emperorchiao[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thank you!

[–]Billy_King0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

the fault in our stars, divergent, and the hunger games

/s

[–]Willow-girl0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Christian granny porn.

LOL, I actually know an elderly Christian lady who read those kinds of books! She has shelves full of them.

[–]PapaDM-Scarecrow0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

That was a lot to process and I'm coming to the thread late, but I think I have better options than the one given here.

The Christian author Robin Jones Gunn has written dozens of books for junior high girls. I've read all these books with my wife when we were first married. She wrote them when he husband was a youth pastor and she found the girls reading romance novels that we inappropriate. They then challenged her to write godly ones for them.

The books hold to chaste values by the main character and do a nice job of handling issue that friends have. They are meant to be Christian romance for tween and up. They include Verses and people sharing the gospel, but all is work fairly naturally into the story. There is a fairly innocent kiss or two here or there, but they are framed within the context of waiting and most of the main male characters actively set boundaries and treat the young women with respect. The series follows Christy from junior high all the way into marriage and kids across a dozen or more books.

The Christy Miller series, The Katy Weldon series, The Sierra Jensen series as a place to start.

You can also find resources on reading recommendations for all ages from Sarah Clarkson. She has a few books for parents. One is Caught Up in a Story.

[–]emperorchiao[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Thank you! I'll look for these.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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