TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

13

Opportunity to marry a virgin and "good girl" (self.askMRP)

submitted by Objective-Letter

I (25M) have an opportunity to marry a very competent female (24F). This is an arranged marriage between islamic families who are very cultured.

About me. Grew up in a dysfunctional single mother house where everyone was mad at each other. I grew up isolated and alone from my family members which caused me to be very anti-social. I don't have many friends. I've been listening to Jordan Peterson for a few years and got my act together. Quit cannibis addiction, graduated uni, making 90k year, working on being more social and connecting with the few friends that I have and working on my weaknesses in general.

About the female. Making 60k, very social and religious women. She wakes up at sunrise every morning to pray for the last three years. Claims to be a virgin (my family also suspects this of her). Well educated and travelled. Dresses modestly and is a very compassionate, polite, agreeable and Conscientiousness person (made her do understandmyself assessment). Has both parents and has very strong family connections and long friends. A very conservative person and understand the her primary duties is to take care of the household. She also plans on getting her masters

After meeting this women I've realized how underdeveloped I am in multiple areas in my life and she is clear more competent and experienced than me in life. She has a significantly stronger frame than I. However, ever since meeting her I've been wanting to improve myself. I've made peace with my brother and have been putting more work into my projects so I can become a more masculine man. I'm very underdeveloped in many areas of my life and my gut feeling is not to marry her and improve myself so i can become a more competent man (I did three tabs of LSD and had thoughts that I'm getting screwed over by marriage/ getting played). But I may be foolish in losing this opportunity of a "good" women due to my current status. I've never had a long term relationship with a women so this would be my first. I have insecurities of not knowing what it means to be a man due to the lack of male role models in my life and have this feeling deep down that I'm not good enough. She may have picked up on it but I'm trying to change my thoughts to say that I am good enough. I know the best I can do is be better than who I was yesterday. I would appreciate your advice on this


[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando58 points59 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Which one of you is the virgin?

[–]frozenpond21 points22 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I have insecurities of not knowing what it means to be a man due to the lack of male role models in my life and have this feeling deep down that I'm not good enough.

You will struggle until you fix this.

Start by doing the work on the sidebar.

[–]Defiant-Method5 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Sidebar is a good cure to this. I would suggest however that before OP reads TWOTSM he should read The Masculine in Relationship by CJ Youngblood. This book is what really put it all together for me, and is specifically written to address the issue “how can I lead an empowered, confident, competent woman?”. Just realising that a highly competent woman still wants to feel lead in matters of romance and relationship is half the battle.

I’ve realised after reading a number of books on cognitive science and seeing the parallels with eastern philosophies like tantra: it’s all about reducing her cognitive load, as a focus state of cognition is inherently masculine. When you reduce a woman’s need to be in focus state, she can relax into diffuse state, which is inherently feminine. This polarisation of you being in focus state (holding frame) and her being in diffuse state affects the hormonal response of each of you and creates a hormonal polarisation, aka sexual tension.

This requires you to build up your capacity for more complex cognitive loads (OYS), and to build your stamina under load (Lift+meditate). You want to get to the point that the tasks (goals) in your cognitive workspace are intentional, benevolently selfish and able to be pursued with aggression and energy, and this is the core of what we call frame.

OP has work to do.

[–]echo97918 points19 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Why not do both? Pursue her but with small steps and, meanwhile, go all in toward personal growth.

Eventually, buy an engagement ring and set a wedding date in an year.

Don't burn bridges. Don't ruin her life. Don't lie to her or yourself.

Tell her where you are and what you want to do and become. It's in both your interests for you to become a strong and wise man. You might be surprised and get her support.

Go all in on the sidebar. Train your body religiously. Believe in yourself.

[–]Middle_Aged_Child33 points34 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

This isn’t going to end well.

[–]Objective-Letter[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Could you explain further?

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Cyan is a “good” color. My family agree cyan is “good”. Objectively it seems to contain the right elements of the electromagnetic spectrum. I guess it could be aquamarine but I am sure it’s cyan. Is cyan my favorite color?

[–]Rogue684867 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

If you haven't dated her or any other women, how do you expect to vette her?

If you haven't dated, how do you expect you can maintain a relationship?

Slow down. You're 25.

[–]RStonePT5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

https://twitter.com/SaudiNews50/status/1275773903793795074?s=20

https://twitter.com/f_ajlan/status/1275440064101662720?s=20

https://twitter.com/vip24438734/status/1275494086934487045?s=20

We aren't so different after all.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Sounds like you have a snowflake there. Good luck.

After meeting this women I've realized how underdeveloped I am in multiple areas in my life and she is clear more competent and experienced than me in life.

This is often the case, at least on the surface with women vs men in their early to mid 20’s. I believe it’s a result of hypergamy- just my personal theory. Young women go out of their way to learn so that they can land a quality man.... Thousands of years of evolution.

Oh wait, maybe she’s not a snowflake.

[–]business---travel0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Sounds like you have a snowflake there. Good luck.

It's his own, personal unicorn.

[–]mrpmonk1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

So you mean she is the prize? Good for her. How about you hold in a bit, be the prize and the good catch, then attract other girls with/without family arrangements.

[–]DrPsychGainz1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Her primary duties to take care of the household - plans on getting her masters. Islamic families who are very cultured - 3 tabs LSD. Square your circles more please.

You can't possibly lead your pseudo-unicorn into providing value because your mission appears to be esoteric garbage. Being better than you were yesterday is meaningless without metrics. And you likely haven't identified which metrics are worth using to judge your value.

Can you find a mentor in real life who is what and where you want to be? You probably need to get bitch-slapped by this person so you can internalize the side bar and stop using psychoactive substances without the guidance of a skilled physician and counselor.

[–]athrowaway-9001[🍰] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

opportunity to marry

This is an oxymoron. Marriage is not an opportunity but rather a soul sucking shackle that will take half your income and then some if you have kids.

I've never had a long term relationship with a women so this would be my first.

Marriage sounds like a great idea to kick that off with.

[–]PreEntertain0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Arranged unions is like letting someone order off the menu for you. I cant fucking stand that. I know of two people who endured what you might, and I almost fucked one of them.

You already know what you have to do. You don't need advice. You laid it out for us. Now read your comment back to yourself and go fucking get you, bro!

[–]SteveSan820 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I have so many stories I could tell you about muslimahs having lived most of my life in a blue state refugee loving shithole. Muslimahs don't really believe in it. Same goes with other religions. Women only use religion. I use to fuck a jilbabi salafi woman who was married with 1 kid during mu blue pilled days.

While her husband was at work she'd dump her kid with her mom and we'd fuck. She even joked that if I got her pregnant her husband wouldnt suspect a thing since some of her family looked White since shes a Berber.

She would ghost me on every ramadan but come back after eid.

This is just one of many. Read The Rational Male. You are too young for marriage and certainly not mature enought for it.

[–]iwillruletheworldkjh-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Are you a virgin? Be aware that people change a lot after they have sex, marrying her before having sex with her is a risky thing

[–]tropicsGold-11 points-10 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

Sounds like wife material, and that is rare, so go for it if you think she is right for you! Shut that insecurity shit down. You sound like a great guy, just keep working hard every day. Going in the right direction is more important than where you are today. Keep it up!

[–]HornsOfApathyMod / Red Beret[M] 5 points6 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

Nope. Not here.

[–]Praexology4 points5 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

Sometimes giving bad advice is funny though.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando1 point2 points  (5 children) | Copy Link

I liked that post when I thought he was being sarcastic.

[–]Praexology1 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Oh hes being serious? Big oof on that coach.

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

I dunno - it's hard to tell. He should've added a smiley face instead of an exclamation mark. Sometime emojis are much more indicative of thought than the written word.

[–]Praexology1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

🤣

[–]SBIIIRed Fucking Commando0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

😷

[–]Tyred_BiggumsRed Beret0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

The universal emoji. Can’t see what goes on behind the mask.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2024. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter