TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

3

Ideas for an atypical dating profile (self.askRPC)

submitted by MyWebId

I'm a 32-year-old man. When most people create their online dating profiles, they write all about what kind of person they want (often with a long checklist of must-haves) and what they want to get out of the relationship. They rarely tell you what they bring to the table in return (other than things like accomplishments and fancy diplomas) or what they intend to GIVE to the other person in the relationship.

I want to do the exact opposite of that, and I'm looking for as many ideas as possible about things I could include. Things that are concrete, specific, and measurable, rather than nebulous feel-good stuff like "kindness" or "confidently stepping up and taking control of the situation." (These aren't things I'm going to just write about...I won't include any of them in my profile unless I genuinely intend to do them. I don't believe in making empty promises in order to manipulate someone into doing what I want.) I trust the red pill community to come up with good answers much more than I trust the blue pill crowd. I'm particularly interested in answers from women along the lines of "I love it when a guy does XYZ in a relationship or while I'm getting to know him," but all input is greatly appreciated.


[–][deleted] 10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

How about you write something and we’ll tell you if it’s good. Otherwise this feels like a hw assignment.

[–]OsmiumZulu5 points6 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

... they rarely tell you what they bring to the table in return... or what they intend to GIVE to the other person in the relationship.

She should be qualify herself to you, not the other way around. Are you the prize or not?

You are over thinking this by a ton. There are plenty of write ups on TRP on how to make an effective online profile that attracts women. TLDR is: your pictures make or break your profile. If you have a great set of photos that are attractive and show you living an interesting life you can all but ignore the text.

[–]MyWebId[S] 1 point2 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

I'm not really having a problem attracting women with my current profile...my problem is that my current profile is a little bit too "crowd-pleasing" and trying to be all things to all people, which leads to too many connections with women who aren't a good fit for me. I'm now trying to make my profile intentionally polarizing in a way that repels the women I don't want and attracts the ones I do want. In my new profile, I'm actually calling out the fact that most people on dating sites are overly focused on "me, me, me" and "I want, I want, I want." Basically, I'm looking for ways to demonstrate that I take my own advice...that I have a different attitude and am looking for someone with a similar attitude. I agree that she should qualify herself to me, and I should present myself as the prize, but ultimately, everyone (whether male or female) wants to be in a relationship with someone who's a giver rather than a taker. Being a giver is the ideal, as long as it's coming from a position of strength rather than a position of weakness (neediness, manipulation, obsequiousness, or other nice-guy behaviors).

[–]OsmiumZulu2 points3 points  (6 children) | Copy Link

I'm now trying to make my profile intentionally polarizing in a way that repels the women I don't want

Then just add something that would offend the type that you don't want? How is this hard?

"Blue haired busy-bodies need not apply."

[–]SkimTheDross1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

That leaves the door wide open for red haired BPD’s

[–]OsmiumZulu2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Feisty red heads? Sounds hot.

[–]MyWebId[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Then just add something that would offend the type that you don't want? How is this hard?

I already did that. The very first sentence of my new profile is "If you're a feminist or a liberal, you will absolutely hate me," and that's just one example. But it's not enough for me to just focus on repelling what I don't want...attracting someone I do want is equally important (actually more so). I think both sides of the equation are necessary.

[–]thatswhyweinvitedyou1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Hmmm, I’m neither a feminist nor a liberal, but I think I would be deterred by that line...I guess it would be a personality thing for me, considering the type of person that would throw that out there lol

But I do understand where you’re coming from. I love that my guy wasn’t afraid to ask me hard questions and specifically talked early on in our relationship about being “equally yoked”.

[–]MyWebId[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I guess this is one of those situations where asking several people about a very subjective topic means you get lots of conflicting answers, so you end up more confused than when you started. In the past, I intentionally avoided all "here's what I'm NOT looking for" or "don't message me if..." types of language in my profile, because it does tend to sound negative, and I typically don't like seeing it in women's profiles. But then again, I like women who are the sweet and demure type, and most women aren't looking for those qualities in a man. This new approach might be worth trying as an experiment...it could be a valuable learning experience, even if it ends up being a failure.

I also recognize that my views on relationships are "extreme," so maybe I need a more extreme approach in order to find someone who's okay with that. You know the Bible verses that say wives are supposed to submit to their husbands in everything like Sarah did with Abraham? I know that 95% of the church interprets those verses pretty loosely and symbolically, or ignores them altogether, but I interpret them very very literally. (I didn't always believe that way, but after I started studying those parts of the Bible in extreme depth years ago, I concluded that there was no other logical way to interpret those commands.) Being the authoritative type isn't something that comes naturally to me...it takes a conscious effort. (For a long time, I was a typical blue-pill Christian nice guy.) But even so, I've chosen to obey God on this matter, even if it's hard. Even if my refusal to budge on this theological issue means I end up staying single forever. As you can imagine, it's really hard to find a woman (even among Bible-believing Christians) who's okay with my "extreme" views on this subject, and I'm not going to waste my time on someone who isn't. Maybe I need to make a change in how I market myself and start going after the women who really, really like dominant men.

[–]thatswhyweinvitedyou0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Perhaps say you’re looking for someone who’s the Sarah to your Abraham? 🤷‍♀️ lol Or more seriously, looking for your Ezer. Make a woman look up what that means.

I understand about trying to intentionally weed out what you don’t want...but as I myself am the “sweet and demure” type, I prefer something less heavy handed. But maybe that wouldn’t be considered rp.

[–]Willow-girl1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Your profile should give readers an idea of where you're going in life. What's your mission? A woman is going to want a man with a mission that is attractive to her, or (at the very least) one that is compatible with her own.

When a woman reads your profile, she should say, "Hey, I want to be a part of that!"

[–]operationveritas0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

The best way to go on dating apps in terms of profiles is that the less you say about yourself, the better. Let the photos do the talking. That way you rake in a large pool of people that you pick and choose from. Then you vet from there.

You’re better off having a witty one liner that loosely describes your character, getting the matches and writing something like

Hey [Name], I’m looking for something very specific on here...

Then you take the conversation from there.

If you what you want is different to them, then un-match, fairly simple.

Online dating is not representative of the real world, so not much time should be invested in it. And definitely don’t replace going out and meeting people organically with online dating.

Don’t over think it.

[–]pandora_box-0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I (25F) never used online dating. I avoided dating apps on purpose. Met my husband (31M) at a church event.

You should go to events or Sunday school classes at your church & other churches in your denomination. Rotate through different churches. For example, only go to your home church every other week & on the other weeks visit a new church of similar beliefs in your metro area— this will maximize the likelihood that you’ll meet someone who shares your values. (Might be a good idea to wait until after the pandemic to implement this strategy; a lot of people are staying home and attending church virtually)

[–]Praexology0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

"Adam gave Eve a bone, wanna live like they did in Genesis?"

Thread is over boys I answered it.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2024. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter