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Many times when i'm out having fun and talking to different sorts of women, the guys i'm out with try to diss me when im talking. I always laugh it off or rebuttal but it's quite annoying that they feel the need to do this. These are the same guys who say they don't want to talk to women but when I open they come and join from the background. Is there a way I can make this work in my favour?


[–]Crowstarz125 points126 points  (8 children) | Copy Link

Drop them.You don't need pessimistic losers around ya.

[–]ghettobutmellow 1 points [recovered]  (5 children) | Copy Link

Thank you

[–]markinsinz733 points34 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

While it is true to drop these guys. It's not so ez to leave and find a new crew. In addition, what they were doing was a sign of disrespect usually because they see you as weak - my point being you may find a more positive crew but you're gonna have to make sure no boundaries of yours are disrespected.

[–]FuckMichaelMcCoy1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I wouldn’t jump to conclusions that you are being weak or showing weakness. Disrespect like this can happen when they are jealous and envy AKA you are better than them, opposite of weakness.

It’s the whole adage- you don’t have haters until you are successful.

[–]markinsinz70 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

True but if you read the original story which is now deleted the guy was being disrespected in a way that shows the others saw him as weak

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I second that dude‘s sentiments. those assholes are not loyal, no time for them.

[–][deleted] 7 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Big facts

[–]z2a1-94 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

On point response!

[–]Auxfite101 points102 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

Had a old beta friend do this. Insecurities and jealous in short “crab in a bucket”.

Example: was at Wendy’s and i already game hella chicks prior so me being a good friend I told him he could get her (Wendy’s cashier) and he said nah and just froze. All our friends were encouraging him but he just stood there. So me being the leader I walk up to her and approach her (she notices every that’s happening before and gives me respect for having the balls to approach) I make her laugh and as I’m gaming her the beta male starts to laugh at me as if I’m doing wrong but he was just jealous that he couldn’t do what I’m doing. Anyways I proceed to get her number and the rest was history.

Get rid of your beta friends they’re completely useless.

[–]Builtblind52 points53 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

Agree but also you totally embarrassed your “friend”

Makes sense he tried to deflect

Moral of story

If they try to cockblock they aren’t your friend

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I also disagree with this. surprised it’s getting many upvotes. to put it plainly — if a man is going to behave like a beta that does not dispermit the nearby alphas from taking advantage of unmarked territory. The alpha in this example was nice to step back and encourage the beta forward, he did have his chance and he did not take it.

[–]Auxfite2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Got upvoted because crab in a bucket. I bet majority of them were betas

[–]Auxfite12 points13 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

How did I do that? She was talking to a customer and told me she was bad I whispered in his ear to go get that and he just froze up and got nervous. All our friends were begging him to go but he didn’t. He embarrassed himself with being a weak low testosterone beta male. But that’s what happens when you spend your days being an alcoholic, coke addict, & smoking weed everyday.

[–]ghettobutmellow 1 points [recovered]  (2 children) | Copy Link

Thanks

[–]Auxfite8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Crabs in a Bucket: Used to describe a person (or subculture) that does everything in it's power to destroy the ambitions of those among them who wish to improve themselves.

It comes from the story of catching crabs in a bucket. When you catch a crab and place him in a bucket, the first thing he'll try to do is escape. Now, if you put two crabs in a bucket (hence the plural form of 'Crabs in a Bucket') and place them in there together, as soon as one tries to climb up out of the bucket the other will grab the escaping crab by the legs and try to escape itself, to which the process gets repeated to the point where NO crabs end up escaping

[–]yes_kid12 points13 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

Had this experience for a long time. The sooner you ditch them, the better your life will be. Keep them as friends if you want to, but don't go looking for girls with them. Find real wingmen who are on the same page as you.

[–]Jay-G24 points25 points  (7 children) | Copy Link

By the sound of it you are surrounding yourself with beta friends. There's a saying, you are a combination of your 5 closest friends. If your 5 closest friends are betas then guess what, you're a beta too. I will give you props that you are trying to better yourself but friends will either make your progress go by twice as slow, or they will double your progress. Surround yourself by the right people. It's easy to be the alpha over a bunch of chumps, you want to strive to have your closest friends all be more alpha than you, not in a way where you're a beta but in a way that they help you be a better person, befriend more alphas even if it means you have to lone wolf it for a bit. People that don't know you will not give a fuck about you gaming girls unless they are jealous, then in that situation maintain your frame and make them act in it. If you do find that a lot of random people are fucking with you while you game, then you SMV is too low. Would you fuck with the alpha of your gym while he was hitting on a chick?

[–]markinsinz717 points18 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

It's hard to hang out with a bunch of alphas though, especially when one is a new member to the gang. There's way too many egos at play. I find hanging out with betas better since it's practically no competition for chicks.

[–]Son_of_Gatsby1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

You all are talking like there are all these alphas walking around; I know very few, if any alphas. Somebody who is fit, has game, has his shit together ( good career and finances ), dresses well, is RP etc. is super rare

I've been to two different colleges, and even there maybe 5% of guys are fit, and I'm not even talking really fit, like Instagram Model fit, I'm just talking about some definition of a sixpack and looking big in a shirt. Even in a nightclub that number doesn't increase, you might see 1-2 guys a night who really are fit, but I talked to some of them and oftentimes fitness is the only thing they got going for them

and being fit is such a small part of what consitutes being Alpha. Finding somebody with the right mindset is even rarer

So I don't know how it would be possible to surround yourselves with Alphas, when you can't even find them anywhere. The best thing I believe is to find people you enjoy and who are Alpha in their domains, e.g. hang out with somebody who is fit and maybe another who is fun and another who is a good at networking. But you won't find somebody who has it all

[–]markinsinz70 points1 point  (2 children) | Copy Link

Hmm you got some parts right but I feel like maybe you got a core misconception of Alpha(that's talked about here). You talk of the social group leader Alpha. trp refers to the behavior set which can even be executed by a lone wolf.

Alpha in their respective domains is correct but that's a simple and logical form. Alpha we speak of is a behavior set - not a matter of fitness or social context (eg fat ceo of a company)

And, I've met plenty of average nobodies who are not in charge of anything anywhere but they are alpha. They have their own strong frame and aren't afraid to impose this shit.

Maybe you are 6ft something and decent fit with good looks or whatever - in this case you will tend to automatically ignore guys who don't match up to you in size - it's evolutionary. Your brain doesn't see them as threats whatsoever hence you may get the feeling there's not that many alphas around.

It's similar to the big ass bouncer at the club. Remember alpha is primarily a behavior set. A skinny ass coke addict can be alpha regardless of context even - bitches will be lining up to fuck him just cause of that behavior.

[–]Son_of_Gatsby0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy Link

I see your point.

But then it isn't too clear who to hang out with, right? E.g. I have a friend who definitely has great looks, is fit and has natural game. It's strange, he does a lot of weird shit in my opinion when it comes to gaming girls, but it works very well for him.

But other than that he's a complete loser to be honest. Still living at home and has a shit job, smoking weed all the time etc..

Not sure what to make of that, currently I still hang out with him but only when doing stuff that is related to the areas he excels at, e.g. going to a festival with him is the best, but I wouldn't count on him for any serious matters.

I feel like you have to take that approach with anybody and consider their strengths and weaknesses in their respective domains ( and most of all know your own )

[–]markinsinz70 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Yea except it's not exactly easy to start hanging out with the guys who win at life. They need some value in return. Problem is whatever value a random guy like me has to offer, they already will have that covered.

Circumstances man, they can make life amazing or a bitch

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K1825 points26 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Tell them direct 'you're crossing a major boundary. Either find your own women, or fuck off'. Get in charge

[–][deleted] 8 points9 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

I agree with the sentiment but by the time you are having to share this the relationship with those dudes is already over. trust has been broken, so I don’t think there’s a need for the confrontation, just drop them and don’t look back.

[–]2INNASKILLZ2K18-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

A direct assertion of boundaries gives someone a chance to correct behaviour. I agree with you, though. If trust is gone and they don't adhere, drop them.

[–]Senior EndorsedVasiliyZaitzev5 points6 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

These guys are called “losers” because you need to lose them.

You smash they don’t, they mad. Time for new friends who aren’t douchebags.

[–]throwawaybpdnpd8 points9 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I used to be that way, jealous full of envy and very insecure.

Used to try pushing friends down to up me, I changed since but people had to cut me off for me to understand and change my behavior.

Drop those fucking losers, you’ll help yourself AND them at the same time

[–]SmackinDatAss3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Don't hang out with those dudes. Only keep people in your life who make your life better.

[–]eazy_3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

get those squares out of your circle

[–]TheGoblinTurkey2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

You can always make more friends, hard next him.

[–]BitingInsects2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I got rid of these guys. One in particular was just an opportunist and would end up costing me. One time I had a girl in the room and he was pretending to sleep and literally kicked her in the back. We were just talking but it killed the mood and she left. I thought about why he acted this way and I realized he felt entitled to the best woman in the room but had no ambition or direction to make her want him back. On the other hand, I had that ambition and he would try to capitalize on it. You don't have to just go cold and drop people, just distance yourself and over time they will get the idea.

[–]phareux1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Hate those fucking losers

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

My fair lady, does this brute bother thee?? *tips fedora I am not like these other jerks, I actually respect women! *tips fedora harder

[–]Wobblewobblegobble2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Fuck em

[–]ReaperX442 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

"A Lion doesn't care about the opinions of a sheep."

[–]omega_dawg932 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

to your friends, you are known as the "ice breaker," or in football terms, the "wedge breaker."

they know you're not afraid to approach girls so they let you do your thing. then, they just join-in the convo if she's receptive and talkative.

after they're in, it's about getting you out of the way. you don't need guys like this around. they're users & losers.

to stop this behavior, imo, there are 2 things you can do: first, if the girl is receptive, ask her to go talk somewhere more private; so you can hear her... just take her hand, lead her away. don't even give them the chance to cock block. second, as soon as they approach your conversation, tell her, "i'll be over there where it's more quiet... i want you to join me," and just walk-off. if she follows, she's got interest. if she doesn't, you're leaving your 'friend' in a cold approach situation with her... the exact situation he's afraid of being in alone.

let those two figure out how valuable you are between themselves.

[–]580211 point2 points  (4 children) | Copy Link

Call him out on it. Just freeze the conversation and tell him in a calm tone that his comments are really unnecessary quite frankly are ruining the good thing you have going on here.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy Link

that’s a good way to demonstrate to her that he has broken your frame. It makes you look affected. try bantering back with him and make him look like a noob instead.

[–]wrypity-2 points-1 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

This is not broken frame! Control the interaction, stay stoic, own your shit including your beta friend. May be a conversation that costs you the current snatch that witnesses it or she will immediately drop to her knees to service the alpha. Either way the hard convo is had and hopefully he will straighten up and flight right or fuck off.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

if I was giving you shit, and then you confronted me with a stoic tone like that, I would grin and say “ easy fella...no one’s trying to steal your banana.” she would laugh. and you would look about two inches tall; frame dismantled.

[–]wrypity0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

if you were my friend and said that to me in front of a woman I would break your check bone into your eye socket and end the friendship.

What a gross disrespect from a "friend".

[–]breathintoyourballs0 points1 point  (3 children) | Copy Link

What about talking to them bout it first

[–][deleted] 4 points5 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

I agree that this usually works in relationships. but these guys are jealous, and it’s only going to get worse. Best case scenario they will feel a little guilty and apologize when confronted, but then do it again as soon as they get another chance when they feel jealous

[–]breathintoyourballs-1 points0 points  (1 child) | Copy Link

1 - you talk bout it to let them know your boundaries 2 - if they don't respect it 3 - you end the friendship

Also i try not to game around friends who don't know game , cause obviously its gonna make them feel like losers and jealous ! Its a natural feeling.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don’t disagree with your three prong outline. from personal experience trying this, there is a slim chance that they will learn and an obtuse likelihood that they will try to embarrass you again.

[–]kcxvi0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

The problem is you, the fact they feel it’s ok to do this means there’s a problem with you and how u come across.

[–]abratoki0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Perhaps treat this as another type of "shit test" but instead from women, its coming from the woman like men - beta men.

Amused Mastery in this type of situation works wonders.

[–]580210 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

I don’t think it’s broken frame. I mean if you can outclown him go for it, but getting in on a joke with another guy officially introduces him to the interaction. To get him out, you have to be SO funny that he gives up, or you have to demoralize him. I’ve been mogged a couple time. To me, it’s not worth it to be fake friendly and act like you give a shit about him there. Be a jerk about it; he is. Literally telling him to fuck off without being rude and antisocial let’s him know you aren’t fucking around and you will swing at him if he doesn’t stop acting like a little kid.

[–]580210 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

Also, tell him off in front of the girl. Not because it looks alpha to do so, but because you’re generally a little pissed that this dumb motherfucker is trying to cockblock you while acting like he isn’t.

[–]hazaraMoghul0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy Link

The problem is you not them. You have a super fargile ego that any shitttty beta can hurt it. Just fuk u r ego. Let them laugh, diss and ridicule you.

[–]King-Manlet-1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Grow a pair, it’s just banter.

[–][deleted] -4 points-3 points  (2 children) | Copy Link

Just tell them not to diss you.

[–]Aestheticcunt19962 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

Say this in a depressed tone. Don‘t forget to cry while doing this. And get on your knees.

[–][deleted] -1 points0 points  (0 children) | Copy Link

And teach them the right way to interact.

You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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