TheRedArchive

~ archived since 2018 ~

What keeps conversations smooth and enjoyable on a date?

Eric Barker
March 19, 2012

Via Brain Trust: 93 Top Scientists Reveal Lab-Tested Secrets to Surfing, Dating, Dieting, Gambling, Growing Man-Eating Plants, and More!:

Interestingly, though, what mattered most beyond these obvious tools was not how prospective Romeos and Juliets acted but how they reacted. How does Romeo respond when Juliet quips and vice versa? The best responses (in addition to being warm and other-focused) walked a tightrope between too passive and too active. On the too passive side, Romeo might accept and agree with whatever Juliet says, exerting as much direction on the conversation as the proverbial limp-wristed wet towel. On the too active side, Juliet might drop Romeoâs ball (as it were) and restart the conversation in an entirely new direction of her own choosing. (Of course, the worst thing a conversant could do is drop the ball entirelyâ withdrawing or failing to respond.)

The trick, according to Finkel, Eastwick, and Saigal, is to avoid extremes in autonomy. Accept your dateâs pass, redirect it slightly, and then return the ballâ all with warmth and genuine interest in his or her responses.

This acceptance and redirection is the push and pull that creates smoothness.

Join 25K+ readers. Get a free weekly update via email here.

TheRedArchive is an archive of Red Pill content, including various subreddits and blogs. This post has been archived from the blog bakadesuyo.

bakadesuyo archive

Download the post

Want to save the post for offline use on your device? Choose one of the download options below:

Post Information
Title What keeps conversations smooth and enjoyable on a date?
Author Eric Barker
Date March 19, 2012 1:52 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Blog bakadesuyo
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/blog/bakadesuyo/what-keeps-conversations-smooth-and-enjoyable-on-a.14506
https://theredarchive.com/blog/14506
Original Link https://www.bakadesuyo.com/2012/03/what-keeps-conversations-smooth-and-enjoyable/
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

© TheRedArchive 2024. All rights reserved.
created by /u/dream-hunter