Online Dating – How To Deal With The “I Want To Get To Know You First” Excuse

Granted, you still need to address that in some way while proceeding with the usual system. If you avoid answering any direct questions or requests when talking to a woman online, your odds of success always go down.

I have had sex with many women over the years who used the âI want to get to know you first excuseâ while talking to me online, including in just the last few years. Hereâs exactly how I did it:

First, I write back a message that starts with âSure! I live in such-and-such and I do such-and-such for work. I have two kids and I travel a lot. I work pretty hard but I set my own schedule. For fun I like toâ¦â and give about two more very general sentences about me.

Second, I close the message by saying âIs there anything else youâd like to know?â And then I add, âIf youâre comfortable, we could meet up next Monday after work for a quick coffee. Just for about 30 minutes.â

This way, I’m accomplishing the following things all at once:

1. Iâm honoring her request for more information and not blowing it off, which would raise red flags.

2. Iâm still moving the process forward. The only goal, as always, to all online dating is to get that first date scheduled and make sure it happens. Iâll answer her questions and concerns, but I will not let her delay the process. Otherwise, Iâm gone.

3. Iâm making the date pitch very light, friendly, safe, and âno big deal.â If sheâs giving the bullshit âI need to get to know you firstâ excuse, the odds are decent that sheâs nervous about something and needs a little lighter touch. This is fine as long as you keep moving the process forward.

If you are using a dating app like Tinder or Bumble, the conversation is much more like a texting conversation, so you are free to say something like âWhat else would you like to know?â and answer a few more of her questions. Just a few. Not many. Donât get into friend zone!

If you are using a dating site like OkCupid or Seeking Arrangement, do not make the mistake of saying âOkay! What would you like to know?â and then having some big back-and-forth conversation. Doing that will kill your odds. You need to move swiftly.

If, after this exchange, she still gives you more bullshit about wanting to get to know you, itâs time to drop her and move on. Trust me, she has no interest in actually seeing you (or if she does, sheâs not going to have sex with you quickly). Send her a final message saying, âI completely understand. If you change your mind, just hit me up. It was really nice chatting with you!â and then move on.

By the way, the above technique assumes that youâre doing everything else correctly as I describe in the Ultimate Online Dating Manual, such as your photos are as best as you can get them, youâre not being negative or too sexual in your online banter, your openers arenât too long, and so on. Doing the above will not cure anything else youâre doing wrong, it will only improve your results if youâre doing everything else correctly.

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