Today, Iâm going to talk about you guys who are in the opposite scenario. Iâm talking to all the guys out there who are well over age 35, who are already monogamous and probably living with a woman, and are full of âlife overhead,â such as kids, debts, a home mortgage, a corporate job that hard to leave, little or no business or women skills, etc.
Even if you are not in this category, the instructions Iâm about to give might likely apply to you as well.
Regardless, here are two recent comments that describe this type of man. The first is from Reacher:
I am a 38 yrs old introvert, working a 9 to 5 job, living with a live-in girlfriend and a 2 years old daughter that we have together. I live in a Eastern Europe in a city of about half a million.
Private life â monogamy (sex every couple of weeks as I find no sexual attraction anymore)
Financial life â employee with income being enough to cover my/our expenses, but really going nowhere to the possibility of a secure future (having just a little left for saving at the end of each month)
Social life â non existent, with the exception of a few BBQs with other families
Fitness life â regular trainings in a local gym (the only thing that I really enjoy at the moment)
Adventures â non existent
At my age I should have figured things out a long time ago, at least in starting my own business, but I havenât. I am honestly pretty clueless where to start.
Iâd like to start being my own boss, meet other women and have sex with them, travel the world and have a taste of all that life has to offer to a free man.
I love both of my girls and I have a strong feeling of responsibility towards them, but I am really bored of/hate this way of life.
This comment is from Mark:
Iâm 42. I would like to enter Alpha 2.0 life as you described in your books and blogs and become more free, and happy. But I have many barriers to overcome. I have been monogamous past 15 years, no/very little experience with online dating/game, very busy corporate job in West Coast, and have a family with kids that I feel responsibility towards.
I have no idea when I can find time to start blitzes and spend that time (10-20) hours or more you talked about above to upgrade from beginner, or even to start. Top priority seems to have an independent business for being financially free.
Then after few years hopefully becoming financially independent or close, I will get close to 50. From posts above, it seems too late to start? You mentioned after 50 it may be hard to do without paying, especially with young women, so should I even worry about starting the game?
I know that a decent percentage of you reading these words are in Reacherâs and Markâs situation. When youâre an older guy with such a ânormalâ life like this, how in the world do you get started? Is it even worth it to get started?
Luckily, this is a topic I know well because I was once this man, or at least close to it. Back in 2007-08, I was a 35 year-old, divorced, dorky-looking beta male with two kids and near-zero game with women. I made decent income, but I had a shitload of debt, all kinds of legal obligations because of my divorce, and was dealing with the chaos of the crash of 2008. I recommend you start reading My History With Women series if you havenât yet to see what I did. I also recommend you read my book if you have not yet, since I talk about the financial aspects of what I did there as well.
Iâm happy to say that within about four years of hard work, I turned all of that around. I became great with women, built up two sources of decent, location independent income, paid off most of my debts (Iâm completely debt free today) and today I live the wonderful, free, happy, Alpha 2.0 lifestyle that I describe so often.
Granted, I didnât have to go through the trouble of opening up a monogamous marriage or live-in relationship, but I was still in a similar boat as many of you older guys are with kids, debts, a static income, a beta male outlook on life, and so on.
If youâre a guy like this and want to live the life I now live, as well as many others in the Alpha 2.0 Community, hereâs an overview of what you need to do:
1. Realize that itâs going to take some work. When youâve been living like a beta for 15 or 20 years, that means its going to take more mental and logistical effort to turn that around. You can still turn it around (I did) but just realize that itâs going to take some work. If youâre not motivated enough to work hard, or to do some temporarily uncomfortable things, or if you donât want this lifestyle badly, then I honestly wouldnât even bother with it, and just live the rest of your life as a monogamous beta.
If you are serious about turning it around, and are ready to do what it takes, then proceed to step 2.
2. Write out your ideal life and set some specific goals. Iâve talked about this numerous times in various places, so Iâm only going to summarize it here. Sit down and write out how your life would look if it was exactly the way you wanted within 3-5 years; your financial life, your woman life, everything. Be as specific as possible.