My Responses To Men Who Are Pro-Cheating

As a nonmonogamous Alpha Male 2.0, I literally never have to do any of these things. Iâm nonmonogamous and every woman in my life knows this, so I have nothing to hide. I have to fingerprint-protect my phone and laptop because I have financial and proprietary client business data on them in case I lose them or they get stolen, yet my girlfriend is free to ask to look at my phone (or computer) whenever she wants (as long as she doesnât give me drama about anything she sees, and as long as she doesnât do it too often; for example, she hasnât asked to see my phone in many weeks). This is because I have nothing to hide, and Iâm not interested in the work involved to hide it. If she doesnât like what she sees on my phone, thatâs her problem; she can leave me and go be with someone else whenever she likes. If youâre cheating, itâs your problem if she sees whatâs on your phone.

Doing all this hiding, sneaking around crap is way to much work. Listen man, I already work during the day on my business / financial life, seven days a week. The last thing I want after Iâm done working is to then turn around and do more work in my relationship life. No thanks. Your relationship life is where you should relax and enjoy yourself, not engage in more work. Why the hell would you want to do that?

Itâs true that nonmonogamy is a bit of work up front when the relationship is new. But, once you get past the three month mark and you have The Talk, the âworkâ is over. Cheating, on the other hand, is a lot of damn work that never ends.

Lastly, and most importantly, cheating is beta. The reason youâre choosing to cheat instead of following a proven nonmonogamous system is because youâre worried that sheâll leave you, and you think she wonât leave you if you just lie and cheat on her (which is wrong, since youâll eventually get caught). In other words, you cheat instead of being nonmonogamous because youâre a fucking pussy and you have oneitis.

I donât have oneitis, ever. Any woman in my life, even a serious high-end MLTR, OLTR, or OLTR wife who I love very much can leave me whenever the hell she wants if I donât make her happy. Of course, Iâd rather she stay, but I donât want her to stay if her staying means she damages my happiness, or because sheâs unhappy (which will cause me to be unhappy), or because she demands things that will make me less happy. My long-term happiness and my Mission are more important to me than keeping a woman around who wants me to be something Iâm not.

If youâd rather cheat and be incongruent with who you are, then youâre the opposite. Youâre going out of your way to pretend to be something youâre not. THATâS NOT ALPHA. THATâS BETA.

The Excuses

Okay, now that weâve had our fun, here are the specific excuses men who defend cheating often use, and their responses.

1. Cheating is easier because then women wonât pressure you to be monogamous.

Cheating is not easier, as I just established above. Cheating is a hefty workload that never goes away, unlike being in a correctly-managed nonmonogamous relationship where you manage EFA for a little while and then give her The Talk.

Itâs true that some women will pressure you for some more seriousness or exclusivity during the initial phases of the relationship, but in the vast majority of cases, this goes away (or drops by 90%) once you hit The Talk, and usually vanishes altogether if you do an OLTR.

If youâre running into constant problems with numerous women applying constant and extreme pressure on you to get serious or monogamous, then youâre not following the nonmonogamous system properly, and you need to do more research on this blog and/or you need to get my book on the subject so you can correctly follow the system and not have this problem. I certainly donât have this problem.

2. I never actually, verbally promised my wife / girlfriend that I wouldnât fuck other girls, so itâs not cheating.

Then why donât you tell her youâre going to bang other women on the side? Ah, you donât want to tell her because you know she wonât allow it. See?

She wonât allow it because youâve been acting like a boyfriend or husband all this time, which screams monogamy even if you donât verbalize it. This is something Iâve been saying for almost ten years; donât act too much like a boyfriend or women will assume monogamy regardless of what you verbally promise.

This is honestly the stupidest and weakest excuse pro-cheating men make. It doesnât fucking matter that you didnât raise your right hand and verbally say âI will not fuck other women,â and you know it.

3. Cheating is better because that way, you can fuck girls on the side, but she canât fuck men on the side.

Incorrect. Read this article about all the stats and studies about how often women cheat, specifically where it shows women cheating on men has increased 20% between the early 90âs and 2006 alone, and that since 2006, the infidelity rates (of both sexes) have continued to increase.

Youâre forgetting that monogamy doesnât work. Men cheat on women, women cheat on men. Both sexes hate actual, sexual monogamy and want nothing to do with it (beyond the rare and unusual exceptions to the rule) particularly beyond the three-year mark.

I can also tell you for a fact that if you cheat on her, the odds of her cheating on you go up, far beyond the high odds she has of cheating on you anyway. Men who cheat on women thinking the women will stay faithful are living in a Guy-Disney fantasyland.

4. Okay, yeah, youâre right. You shouldnât cheat, but! Once your wife gets older and after sheâs had a few kids and her body goes to shit, cheating a little on the side is okay as long as you do it discreetly and you donât disrespect your wife. Men are attracted to youth and tight bodies so itâs only natural, and women need to understand that.

Obviously, I completely agree that women need to understand that men are not monogamous creatures, and that no woman should expect a man under the age of 60 to be sexually monogamous forever. Women also need to understand that men of all ages are biologically attracted to youth, and that we donât âchooseâ this attraction, since itâs part of our hard-coded biological wiring. So you and I are on the same page on that.

But that doesnât change any of the problems and negatives Iâve outlined in this entire article. Just because she should understand these things doesnât mean you wonât get caught, that she wonât get furious when you do, that you wonât have spend all this time and effort hiding all of this from her, that she wonât cheat on you, etc, etc, etc.

5. Nonmonogamy is too much work / too complicated. Itâs easier to just lie to her and get some on the side.

I answered this one above already, but to summarize, cheating is more work in totality than nonmonogamy since nonmonogamy (if done correctly!) is only âworkâ during the first few weeks of the relationship, while cheating is âworkâ during the entire relationship.

6. Nice girls / high quality girls would never go for nonmonogamy. You have to cheat on those.

Incorrect. Read items #30, #42, and #43 right here.

7. Iâm already married / have a serious girlfriend. If I try to open up the relationship, sheâll divorce / dump me! Iâll just cheat instead, then sheâll stay with me.

Refer to the âodds are overwhelming youâll get caughtâ section above. (Oh, and then you might want to read the part right after that about how youâre being a needy pussy too.)

8. Hey man, I have kids. Just because I donât want my wife to divorce me doesnât mean Iâm a âpussyâ or a âbeta.â I donât want to get divorced and lose my fucking kids, okay?

Then again, please refer to the section above that shows youâll likely get caught if you cheat. You will eventually get caught if you cheat regularly! Then say goodbye to your kids. You will have accomplished nothing.

If your response to that is that she wonât divorce / leave if she finds out youâve been cheating on her, then youâve proved my entire point about her staying with you even if you convert the marriage or relationship to something open / nonmonogamous. Get my book on how to do that and get to work instead of making these pathetic, pussy excuses.

9. Yes, true, cheating is more drama, but I donât care. So what? Whatâs the big deal?

If you enjoy drama or donât mind drama, then Iâm not sure why youâre reading this blog. This blog, and all my writings on all topics, are about how men can achieve long-term consistent happiness (as much as is humanly possible). You canât be happy if you have drama in your life. If you donât care that youâre unhappy, then feel free to ignore everything Iâm saying and do whatever you like, but I really donât know why youâre here reading my content. You should probably go read someone angry like Roosh or Heartiste.

10. My wife / girlfriend knows I cheat and lets me do it.

Then itâs not cheating. Congratulations, youâre in an open relationship. Well done, and welcome to the Alpha Male 2.0 community!

11. I live in a culture where men are expected to cheat (Southern Europe, South America, etc). So itâs okay where I live. So yeah, you North Americans / Northern Europeans shouldnât do it, but itâs okay if I do it.

If by âokayâ you mean itâs okay to be with a woman who constantly screams at you about having sex with other women on the side, but who doesnât actually leave you, then I guess youâre correct. I call this kind of thing a Mediterranean marriage (or relationship). These are only for very high-drama men who enjoy drama (or who at least donât mind it) and who are attracted to higher-drama women and relationships. Again, if you are one of these men, feel free to do whatever you want, but then honestly, I donât know why youâre reading this blog.

12. Your entire assumption is that cheating is a lot of work, but thatâs only if youâre trying to maintain a relationship with the fling. If you just do one night stands with flings it’s not any work.

Incorrect. It has nothing to do with whether you’re seeing the same side-girl regularly or just having one night stands; it’s still all the same amount of work. The hassle of hiding everything, emotionally worrying about getting caught, high odds of eventually getting caught, etc. None of that significantly changes based on the length or type of relationships you have with your flings.

13. Cheating is easy if you travel a lot for business.

Two problems with this:

1. Change “easy” to “not quite as much work” and then I agree with you. The work, overhead, risk, and negative emotions are still there, just not quite as much. It’s still not “easy” or “no work” or “no risk.”

2. Even more importantly, women who are married to or dating men who travel a lot cheat more often than normal women. (Just look at military wives!) I’ve seen this anecdotally many times. The first married woman I had a fling with had a husband like this; he was always out of town. Women get lonely and horny when their husband/boyfriend goes out of town all the time, so while you’re cheating, she probably is too, and with someone like me.

14. Some guys honestly like cheating on women. They think it’s fun and it gives them a rush.

Some guys honestly like smoking meth or shooting heroin. They think it’s fun and it gives them a rush. Will doing that make them happy? Is it a good idea?

15. If you only have sex with prostitutes, then it’s okay, because they won’t tell anyone.

1. That only eliminates one problem (the woman you’re sleeping with possibly telling others). That does not eliminate any of the other many problems I’ve described above. You’re still in the same boat.

2. Most men don’t like having sex with hookers. Many other men can’t afford the cost of regular hookers where they live (not everyone lives in Thailand). So even if you’re right (which you are not), that advice will only apply to a small percentage of men. Whereas all men in the Western world can follow my advice, if they want.

16. The only guys who get caught are idiots who aren’t doing this right. If instead, you develop an organized system and follow it at all times without fail, cheating works great. For example, you can only fuck prostitutes, hire a therapist to talk about it so you don’t blab about it to others, only brag about it online anonymously, systematize your technology, etc.

Raise your hand if you personally know a man who has done literally all of that and kept it up for 5-10+ years without ever faltering on it, ever, and never got caught, ever. Yeah. Nobody.

Now raise your hand if you personally know men who’ve had nonmonogamous FB‘s, MLTR‘s, and yes, serious and consistent OLTR‘s for 5-10+ years and have not had any major problems. I personally know many, and I’m aware of thousands, as I described in detail in Objection #3 right here.

In other words, I’m talking about the real world here and you’re being entirely theoretical. Men who cheat don’t sit down and develop advanced, complicated master plans like Lex Luthor and then follow them with robotic efficiency forever. Oh, some they think they do, but they don’t.

And even if you’re right (which you are not), that only eliminates the one problem of not getting caught. Your entire point proves my point about how much god damn work it is to cheat on a woman. Only fuck hookers? Hire a fucking therapist? Spend the rest of my life managing (and spending money on) multiple phones, checking amounts, email addresses, etc? Kill me dude. I’d rather use my system, which is far less work and stress. This is one of those “thank you for proving my point” excuses. So thank you.

Lastly, “systematizing your technology,” if you don’t mind all the god damn work and expense, is only a short-term solution, since soon it will be impossible to cheat on women precisely because of technology. Read this article here.

Thatâs it! I will continue to add any new excuses to this article that I see or hear that arenât included in the above list.

If you are about to make a comment about how you donât like nonmonogamy or how nonmonogamy âdoesnât work,â please refer to the objections in this article and this one before you comment, since I probably already answered your objection there. If you post a comment about an objection Iâve already answered, I will simply link to it in my response (since I dislike repeating myself.)